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How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things. 0.17171405026782 17.2% [ 1667 ]
I add new things. 0.15234857849197 15.2% [ 1479 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it). 0.67593737124021 67.6% [ 6562 ]
Total Votes: 9708
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forum:15, topic:9235073
kitedragon
Dark_Wanderer
Always involve a character that is extremely wise. For example an aged chinese man that speaks in proverbs. If asked a question, make that said character reply with in-direct answers.

And all the groups must 'Ah-ooh. Wow' over Wise Man of the Four Lands

And though the old chinese man was born and raised in China with ultra 1337 skillz, he must also be able to fluenty speak in Japanese and English too! Along with any secret language that only the protaginist knows!


Because he's just that damn good.
 
     
 
kitedragon
Dark_Wanderer
Always involve a character that is extremely wise. For example an aged chinese man that speaks in proverbs. If asked a question, make that said character reply with in-direct answers.

And all the groups must 'Ah-ooh. Wow' over Wise Man of the Four Lands

And though the old chinese man was born and raised in China with ultra 1337 skillz, he must also be able to fluenty speak in Japanese and English too! Along with any secret language that only the protaginist knows!
Yep. Bonus points if he says something in that language and all the other charas are like "what did he say?"
     
wtf is going on?!@
 
     
 
heart_arcade
wtf is going on?!@
Go back to the CB, n00b. or go read the first post--your choice.
     
Jasper Riddle
heart_arcade
wtf is going on?!@
Go back to the CB, n00b. or go read the first post--your choice.


That sounded suspiciously like 1337 speak...be forewarned we may have a traitor in our midst! *cue suspense music* (i'm kidding)


When basing a story in multiple worlds all the different worlds must have the same cultures, they all may be half a light year apart but hey what the hell, the magical portal big enough to carry only six people to another world was enough to have trade relations and vast economic/political relations with them all to the point that they all have the exact same culture.
 
     
Romani Black Jacket - 4000-5000 gold
Romani Glasses - 2000-4000 gold

Donation of these items or donation of gold to get these items would be greatly appreciated... If you donate you will get a digital....pencil, yeah that's it, a pencil.
 
Tavreynya
FOOD AND RELATED MATTERS.

Food need never be eaten. Well, maybe your characters do eat from time to time, but you certainly don't need to mention it. That would just be boring. Even if you go to great lengths to show that they are poor, they should never be hungry, or worry about where the next meal's coming from, or have to eat anything that's not completely sanitary and safe and appetizing. You should not say anything about food unless it's a feast, in which case you should describe every inch of the table setting at every course.

Your Tomboy Princess hero(ine) should receive constant instruction in etiquette, hate it, and disregard all of it. However, this doesn't make her eat like a slob. No one eats like a slob, unless they're one of your Tragically Misunderstood Villain's idiot sycophants. Manners should never be noted at all unless they are "impeccable." The Tragically Misunderstood Villain should have dinner with the heroine at least once, and should be quite charming. With impeccable manners.

Feasts will never be seen as opulent or wasteful, unless the host is morbidly obese and therefore evil. Your hero(ine) can pack it away and never gain an ounce, but the evil people are all ridiculously fat because of their "self-indulgent lifestyle" which is really exactly the same as the hero(ine)'s. But they're evil. So they get fat. The end.

The characters who are fat but not evil should be either a) jovial, continuously making jokes about their LARD, b) a somewhat annoying sidekick who dies, c) not really fat - she just angsts because she thinks she's fat, and her Twoo Wuv cures her of that misperception right off!

Food that was built on the suffering of others tastes bad.

Veganism is perfectly practical in a post-apocalyptic society where everyone lives hand-to-mouth. It will never be inconvenient, and everyone will see the vegan character as noble and outstanding as opposed to frivolous and idiotic.

Every culture, in any time period, ever, has Hot Pockets, Arby's restaurants, buttered cinnamon toast, and... mutton stew. Failure to include at least one of these shall result in shunning.

Living for long periods on nothing but bread and cheese will not have any adverse effect. Likewise, prison fare will be described as paltry and revolting, but it will not weaken your imprisoned protagonists significantly. They can still make a daring escape after three weeks of refusing to eat the swill given them by the (malicious, vicious-minded, yet fundamentally stupid) guards, because they are Just That Awesome. However, if your Young King with Magic and Destiny and s**t ever holds any prisoners, he will give them the best food ever and treat them with utmost courtesy, and they will be ungrateful because they are evil.


Oh, totally. And be sure to toss in a few soylent crackers if you're one of those crazy types that cares about plot and thinks it's lacking. And your hero will always know what the crackers are really made of, despite the fact that the people who make the crackers have to disguise them pretty heavily if they want to pass them off as vegetarian. Your hero will outsmart those disgusting sickos by his amazing evil-detecting taste-buds. Oh, and be sure to have those crackers in a place where it is rural, suburban, or prosperous and urban, where everyone had plenty of food and therefore the crackers are totally unnecessary and the thought wouldn't even cross anybody's mind.
     
someone has probably done this before but...

elves have to always be prfect and beautiful. even if it is an unsignificant charactor that just pops up out of nowhere, you have to describe its beauty: the luxurious elf leaped from the tree, its long hair trailling behind like a golden river that lad to morning. his arrows sailed through the air like poseidon (i dont even know how that makes sense, but put that in there anyways just because it makes it sound professional) "i am Glendorf, Glendorf River-tree-sparrow-compost-dog turd." (these long meaniingful names are a must) he said in a tone of silk and beauty. (the hero/ine must always be slightly awed and attracted to the elf -except if your charactor is an elf, in which case they must fall in love with a human- the main charactors lacky who is obviously the opposite gender must be slightly attracted to the elf also)
 
     
i got my drivers liscense from the Keith Moon School of Wreckless Driving! thanks Lord_of_the Funk!

http://img302.imageshack.us/img302/7794/tek060208f7ed170iu.png
the ultimate goal!!!
 
Morizawa
Jasper Riddle
heart_arcade
wtf is going on?!@
Go back to the CB, n00b. or go read the first post--your choice.


That sounded suspiciously like 1337 speak...be forewarned we may have a traitor in our midst! *cue suspense music* (i'm kidding)


When basing a story in multiple worlds all the different worlds must have the same cultures, they all may be half a light year apart but hey what the hell, the magical portal big enough to carry only six people to another world was enough to have trade relations and vast economic/political relations with them all to the point that they all have the exact same culture.


That was weird.

Anyways, crossovers. Yes, crossovers. They are TEH AWESOMENESS!96!fifty-three!
     
hecate-athena
Morizawa
Jasper Riddle
heart_arcade
wtf is going on?!@
Go back to the CB, n00b. or go read the first post--your choice.


That sounded suspiciously like 1337 speak...be forewarned we may have a traitor in our midst! *cue suspense music* (i'm kidding)


When basing a story in multiple worlds all the different worlds must have the same cultures, they all may be half a light year apart but hey what the hell, the magical portal big enough to carry only six people to another world was enough to have trade relations and vast economic/political relations with them all to the point that they all have the exact same culture.


That was weird.

Anyways, crossovers. Yes, crossovers. They are TEH AWESOMENESS!96!fifty-three!
liek tottaly! Bonus points if you crossover more than two!
 
     
The King of Carnies
Jasper has a good idea.
 
No, five! Ten! FIFTEEN!
     
Relating somewhat to Dezman's point on elves:

Goblins are the complete opposite. They smell gross, are unhygenic and messy, and they have the mental capacity of a slime mold. A goblin with table manners? STOOPIED!!42!!!1!!!
 
     
 
~Books by Tamora Pierce are popular-- copy off them.
~~Song of the Lioness: OMG Women knights are so cool. But there are things where Tamora Pierce is WRONG. First of all, they shall sneak out without anyone knowing. None of this village healer nonsense. Secondly, she shall keep it a secret for three days, and then someone shall coax it out of her, and by the 4th week she boasts about it. And she will not be executed. She shall not do this thing where she only tells because she has to (seeing a healer for her period, being magicked by immortals so all her clothes come off in the midst of someone else, having to have that bathing deal, having someone figure it out by the sound of her voice when she is older, having the corset that she binds her chest flat with broken, etcetra). And she shall not be short. And she shall not bind her chest flat with ANYTHING. She shall just disguise her boobs as "pecs".
~~The Immortals: That's good. She has a nice, angsty past, a nice, unknown poer, and she's half-goddess. The only issue is: OMG she's a peasant with an inferiority complex!!!!!11oneone!!1nine!! That's a big no-no. And too many things make sense in those books. Making sense is Satan's tool.
~~Circle of magic: Daja is the only character that's cool. Tris is a fat nerd, Sandry is a freak who is a noble that actually likes working with thread, and Briar is too obviously a lech and has also probably killed someone.
((I heart the books by Tamora Pierce. Too bad they are so often exploited by n00bs.))

Silence of the Lambs is cool, and no one will recognize it when you copy it, despite the fact that it is very frequently parodied and the writers of South Park/The Simpsons/Nickelodeon shows would have to know that a lot of people would have had to see it for people do get the joke.

Tron is cool, copy off it.

The Godfather is cool, copy off it. And don't bother to change the names of those guys. Just have them be the Carleones, no one will know the difference.


Blade Runner is cool.... need I say more?

On a totally unrelated note, don't be afraid to use cup sizes that don't exist, or, if they do exist, the women probably would have to crawl on all-fours because they're so top heavy and therefore would get a reduction to at least a C or D. Because everyone knows that it's not uncomfortable at all to be a 115-pound, 5'7" woman with Double-N cups. (I actually did see a fanfiction where someone had Double-N cups, but the punchline is that the person with the Double Ns was Harry Potter.)

If someone sporks your fanfiction, always be sure to flame the hell out of them.
     
http://tinypic.com/ankexh.png
http://tinyurl.com/co4my
http://tinyurl.com/2rebss
uh bump sorry cant check out the story but i will check it out later 3nodding
 
     
Please tap my tank a lot!! :]
 
What? What story? Where?

I think you may be confused. confused
     
Eve Ill Zeeb Ra
Tailos
111 MAY CAUSE CANCER. USE AT OWN RISK.
THIS IS NOT A CONTRACT OR A GUARANTEE THAT 111 WILL CAUSE CANCER IN ALL CASES.
surf_attitude
uh bump sorry cant check out the story but i will check it out later 3nodding
There is no story. And no bumping in the writer's forum!

Anyway...

Post all of your stories like this. People enjoy it when their eyes bleed.
 
     
you disrupt the world's disorder
just by virtue of your grace

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