[ Poll ] The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.		17.2%	[ 1664 ]
I add new things.		15.2%	[ 1478 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).		67.6%	[ 6558 ]

Total Votes: 9700

[Zonderling]

(It's been forever since I was on this thread! Whee!)
Always be sure to put a SUPERUBERSIPRIZINGTWIST!!!!111!!!! at the end of your story. Your readers will never see it coming that the one with glowing red eyes and devil horns who never talked to anyone but always killed innocents was the traitor. And while we're talking about twists, when writing suspense, try to get the hightest concentrations of personalties to people as possible. The main character has split personalities! His daughter has split personalities! The old lady down the road has three of 'em!

[Dera]

Random tangents that break the fourth wall and have nothing to do with the story at all (such as "omg I got a kitten!!!" wink should be use frequently.

[LoneGothic]

[jabberwocky]

Mobster Lobster

All albinos grow up to be hitmen.

They also wear cilice belts and enjoy whipping themselves silly.

And if they're albinos, they also have silver hair.

PRETTY LONG SILVER HAIR.

But they also have to be attractive, after all, EVERY silver-haired 'bishie' is HAWT. Sephiroth. Sesshomaru. Bakura Ryou. Yami no Bakura.

Silver haired men are also usually evil. With red slit eyes.

[Morizawa]

LoneGothic

[jabberwocky]

Mobster Lobster

All albinos grow up to be hitmen.

They also wear cilice belts and enjoy whipping themselves silly.

And if they're albinos, they also have silver hair.

PRETTY LONG SILVER HAIR.

But they also have to be attractive, after all, EVERY silver-haired 'bishie' is HAWT. Sephiroth. Sesshomaru. Bakura Ryou. Yami no Bakura.

Silver haired men are also usually evil. With red slit eyes.

(actually silver hair is a common trait of almost all albinos...if not all, as are red eyes)

[54j4gwh57k57-3g3g]

Charlie_The_Bad

No, she has one amethyst eye and one blood-red eye that BOTH flash emotions!!1!!111111twenty1!!!!1111!!!three-and-a-half!!11!!!!

Oh, and the best culprit in a detective story is the butler. Nobody will ever expect it.

Or the maid, the maid's always good too. Or better yet have the buttler and maid conspire together!

[Jasper Riddle]

LoneGothic

[jabberwocky]

Mobster Lobster

All albinos grow up to be hitmen.

They also wear cilice belts and enjoy whipping themselves silly.

And if they're albinos, they also have silver hair.

PRETTY LONG SILVER HAIR.

But they also have to be attractive, after all, EVERY silver-haired 'bishie' is HAWT. Sephiroth. Sesshomaru. Bakura Ryou. Yami no Bakura.

Silver haired men are also usually evil. With red slit eyes.

Or some other unnatural eye color. Or hell, a mix of two. No, three. Wait, fifteen.

[hecate-athena]

Jasper Riddle

LoneGothic

[jabberwocky]

Mobster Lobster

All albinos grow up to be hitmen.

They also wear cilice belts and enjoy whipping themselves silly.

And if they're albinos, they also have silver hair.

PRETTY LONG SILVER HAIR.

But they also have to be attractive, after all, EVERY silver-haired 'bishie' is HAWT. Sephiroth. Sesshomaru. Bakura Ryou. Yami no Bakura.

Silver haired men are also usually evil. With red slit eyes.

Or some other unnatural eye color. Or hell, a mix of two. No, three. Wait, fifteen.

You're thinking inside the box. Why not make them all of the different colors at once? Like, one part red, one part purple, two parts silver, and so on. It shall be very attractive. ninja

[Jasper Riddle]

hecate-athena

Jasper Riddle

LoneGothic

[jabberwocky]

Mobster Lobster

All albinos grow up to be hitmen.

They also wear cilice belts and enjoy whipping themselves silly.

And if they're albinos, they also have silver hair.

PRETTY LONG SILVER HAIR.

But they also have to be attractive, after all, EVERY silver-haired 'bishie' is HAWT. Sephiroth. Sesshomaru. Bakura Ryou. Yami no Bakura.

Silver haired men are also usually evil. With red slit eyes.

Or some other unnatural eye color. Or hell, a mix of two. No, three. Wait, fifteen.

You're thinking inside the box. Why not make them all of the different colors at once? Like, one part red, one part purple, two parts silver, and so on. It shall be very attractive. ninja

Like a color wheel. I see. Yeah. Or, have their eyes CHANGE color. Like, from red to blue to green to hot pink with sparkles.

[hecate-athena]

Yeah, but have a system to it. Like purple normally, red when they're pissed, black when they're furious, white/silver when they're having a vision, and so on.

[Minion Ripley]

hecate-athena

Yeah, but have a system to it. Like purple normally, red when they're pissed, black when they're furious, white/silver when they're having a vision, and so on.

Right! All colors have a specific meaning to them; they are never just colors. Black equals evil, white equals good, blue equals calm, green equals nature, pink equals feminine, violet equals royalty, silver equals grace, and so on. I mean, c'mon, everyone loves obvious color themes.

[Morizawa]

MinionRipley

hecate-athena

Yeah, but have a system to it. Like purple normally, red when they're pissed, black when they're furious, white/silver when they're having a vision, and so on.

Right! All colors have a specific meaning to them; they are never just colors. Black equals evil, white equals good, blue equals calm, green equals nature, pink equals feminine, violet equals royalty, silver equals grace, and so on. I mean, c'mon, everyone loves obvious color themes.

Yeah, who doesn't want to implement the equivelant of a mood ring in fantasy stories?

[LoneGothic]

Your character's eyes are spinning pinwheels. Literally.

Heck, stuff that. It's blue and there are STARBURSTS in your eyes. No, better, slit-like, golden cat eyes.

... How about eyes with leaves as pupils? rolleyes

[KiwiOfDestruction]

LoneGothic

Your character's eyes are spinning pinwheels. Literally.

Heck, stuff that. It's blue and there are STARBURSTS in your eyes. No, better, slit-like, golden cat eyes.

... How about eyes with leaves as pupils? rolleyes

What about plaid eyes? Oh, I can see it now.....

Her long hair was a delicate shade of powder blue. She was 5'6" and thin, but buxom and she had nice hips. She was beautiful. And, by far, her eyes were her best feature. Her eyes were flaming orbs of a fierce argyle.

Yes! Yes! Yes! It's brilliant!

[Alybrylla]

( rofl )
Oooooh better yet, they can have three eyes, all a different color. Then you character can cry about how their so different and just want to be normal, until they find out their actually the prince/princess of some strange world!

[Peaceful Revolution]

Hm, while being bored yesterday in my Choral class I thought up some more reasons, wrote them down on paper, and decided to add them, but make them as Laws like a saw one website do.

1. There is no such thing as an unattractive heroine. It's not possible. Even if everyone at her school hates her and calls her ugly it's just because they're jealous. Oh yeah, and if she *is* ugly, she'll become beautiful by the end of the series/episode.

2. All popular people are snobby bitches who live in huge mansions. They must always have a high pitched or prissy voice and be stupid as all Hell. They must also have a habit of being rendered speechless by the main character's witty comment, toss their hair, and say 'uh!'.

3. Whenever the girl gets attacked, the attacker must have ample time to slap her in the face, rip her shirt off, tear her jeans, completely dispose of her jacket if she's wearing one, back her up against the alley wall, and brutally kiss her before the hot guy shows up and knocks him out.

4. Whenever the girl is attacked she is a complete idiot. She does not THINK of running the other direction, screaming for help, or going on the offense. She must stutter, preferablly a stupid "Wh-who are you?"

4. Correction: If she screams for help no one hears. This is due to the fact that even though an alley is next to a street everyone is at home and no one is on the street except for her rescuer.

5. Everyone can do a twenty foot vertical jump from a standing position if there is a roof or tree limb for them to land on.

6. If a magical girl is transforming, during her two minute transformation the villian must NEVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE use a common law of intelligence and attack her while she is defeneless.

7. Whenever a villian has the good guy cornered he must not immediately finish the job but launch into some dumbass speech on why he's doing what he's doing, giving the good guy time to restore their energy.

8. GOOD ALWAYS WINS. EVEN IF EVIL HAS THE UPPER HAND.

9. When meeting his/her future child, the person will usually fret on how to send them back, get rid of them, or what brought them here instead of finding out who THE OTHER PARENT IS.

10. When a good guy/good girl transforms, their closest friends will fail to recognize their looks, or more importantly their voice, for some odd reason.

11. Always start your story with your character either sitting in a tree, leaning against a railing or wall, smoking a cigarette, riding a horse, going to school, looking out a bedroom window, or walking in a park.

12. Whenever you make a neko, it must ALWAYS be female, have cat ears and tail, and wear as little clothing as possible. Also, her hair must not be a normal color, except for raven black. She should wear as little clothing as possible, and the clothing's preferred color is black.

13. All nekos on the Bad Side should be kinky/and or a sex icon.

14. Common Rule: Fallen Angels are always neutral, leaning towards the Good Side. They must also be sexy and it is preferred they have red hair. Evil Angels must have black hair and have an unexplained kinky side. Good Angels are shy virgins who blush too much and are friends with the Fallen Angel. [This rule must never be broken if you're making a story quiz on Quizilla.]

15. Everyone speaks the same language. No matter what. If there's just been an armageddeon then everyone STILL speaks the same language, regardless of the astronomical odds. If there's a different language than you must have a character who can translate it.

16. If one character dies have the other one kneel on the ground beside them and say its their fault. The dying character must insist its not and make a dying speech, before a small line of blood comes out of their mouth and they die.

17. When one character dies the other should scream "NOOOOO!" Come on, Anakin did it when Padme died!

18. Whenever a couple is dating, the girl is a virgin and the guy has probably had relations with over two hundred girls.

19. Whenever the girl attacks magically, there should always be white light. If multiple girls are attacking magically, RAINBOW COLORED LIGHT. This desginates each girl with a color power.