The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2292 ]
I add new things.	14.9%	[ 1951 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.6%	[ 8852 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13095 ]

[Indigo Dagger]

And of course ******** a cold, marble p***s isn't gross at all!

[Sir Lampy of Locksley]

((Didn't we talk about this forevar ago?))

Female vampires can totally have a menstrual cycle.

[Indigo Dagger]

No they cannot, for Periods are Abhorrent and Unnatural and Wrong.

((Actually, I thought of a brilliant deconstruction for that mentality.

Maybe a girl is trying to stop her periods, because for some reason, like molestation, she's ashamed of her body and sexuality and wants to revert back to her "little-girl" self.

Hey, it's happened before. I think.))

[The Velveteen Violinist]

Live sperm in dead body. Yep. Totally.

The Mafia is ITALIAN and has NO connections with Sicily. If your character is...

Young: SUPERSTAR Mafia gunslinger, SUPER sexy. He/she can either continue being BADASS and working for the mafia and be like SUPERCOOL OR get like all moral and be BRAVE, break omerta for his good girl/guy, and tattle and be like SUPERCOOL. Either way he is a celebrity.

OLD: Bad guy with no morals, selfish, unatheletic, has sexual liasons left and right. Coward. Balding. Fat.

Since I have permission...

Cover1
Cover2

Covers should show what the book is about. Which one do you like better? They were REALLY quick photoshops so the lighting and shadows are sorta off. ^^" Can anyone find a way to put vomit on the cover?

[Sir Lampy of Locksley]

((I got 404'd when I tried to look at cover 2))

[Half Baked SF]

Helen Mint

((I got 404'd when I tried to look at cover 2))

((It's the same basic concept of the first cover. Just a bigger pile))

How dare you deface Meyer's covers!

(( xd ))

[Psychic_Knight]

(( hmm...vomit. o.o Well, all I can think of is picking some kind of paintbrush style in photoshop that looks like splatter, then using icky looking colors of different opacities. Then again, I haven't used photoshop in a while, so I don't know if to would work. o.o

And I like the 1st one. It has a better fit in the hand.. xD ))

[LeitaKree]

((I like the second one 'cause it's in a vauge heart shape, and Twilight is a crap romance novel...))

And your young mafia star always does it for GOOD. He has morals about who he kills.

[Half Baked SF]

Mafia stories always take place in New York among Sicilian families. Nevermind that a more notorious gangster operated in Chicago and his family came from Naples.

[kittypussywoof]

i like the mafia...

[Summer Fallwinterspring]

IB Hopeless

Mafia stories always take place in New York among Sicilian families. Nevermind that a more notorious gangster operated in Chicago and his family came from Naples.

((My family actually traces back to Pretty Boy Floyd. I think it's really friggin' awesome.))

Also, should that happen, your young, tortured MC WILL fall in love with someone who he is supposed to kill or is related to someone he is supposed to kill, because that makes him SADDD!!11 omg!

[The Paranoid Freak]

-Only white people can become vampires.
-That really tough female character only acts tough because she's just so darn insecure (because she's female 3nodding ).
-No one sees your hero/ine as a villain. Their side is the right side, all their beliefs are for the good of everyone. But the villain only cares about theirself, and they know just how evil they are.
-When the evil tyrant is overthrown by your hero/ine, everyone will be happy, and all damage will be reversed.
-Disney channel is right, pretty blonde girls get automatically made fun of in high school if they're smart.

[Summer Fallwinterspring]

The Paranoid Freak

-Only white people can become vampires.
-That really tough female character only acts tough because she's just so darn insecure (because she's female 3nodding ).
-No one sees your hero/ine as a villain. Their side is the right side, all their beliefs are for the good of everyone. But the villain only cares about theirself, and they know just how evil they are.
-When the evil tyrant is overthrown by your hero/ine, everyone will be happy, and all damage will be reversed.
-Disney channel is right, pretty blonde girls get automatically made fun of in high school if they're smart.

((Aw, hell, I[/] do.))

[Cuaglar]

((It's been a long time since I last came here; but I've come upon a startling discovery. Apparently, Diana Wynne Jones (of Chrestomanci and Howl's Moving Castle semi-fame) has been reading this thread and published a book about it: 'The Tough Guide to Fantasyland.'* It mentioned the color coding (of costume, hair, and eye) and a lot of the other thing's we've covered in the area of medieval fantasy. If you chance to come across it, I reccomend it.
*Note: I don't think she actually HAS been reading this; since it doesn't exactly take a rocket-scientist to come up with it.))

[Summer Fallwinterspring]

Helen Mint

((Didn't we talk about this forevar ago?))

Female vampires can totally have a menstrual cycle.

-oh, and vampires who are 100+ years old, come from some reknowned vampire country like Romania or whatever, it would totally make sense for them to support gay rights, wear chains, mesh, and other modern-day goth clothing, listen to My Chemical Romance (it personifies their dead soul, o'course) and drive fast cars.

((I have a vampire who will be going to America, due to debt problems, and I plan on forcing her to endure the most awful aspects of American culture, such as McDonalds, douchebags on their cell phones, and the Twilight seiries. She can't drive, either, even if she did forge her license.))