[ Poll ] The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.		17.2%	[ 1666 ]
I add new things.		15.2%	[ 1478 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).		67.6%	[ 6560 ]

Total Votes: 9704

[Lord_of_the_Funk]

remember this


vampyers (and yse it must be spelled like that) must enjoy being a vampyer

gasp! you meen to say that people might not like not being able to go out in the sun, have no reflection, have a lust for bodly fluids, and never be able to get a desent tan...I mean honstly whats more fun then that!

oh and forget all that stuff about bats and middevil transalvanion casles your vampyer must be a supper hyper cool modern teen vampyer living in newyork who always weres chains and listen to Slayer.

[Lord_of_the_Funk]

normal names make people think you are *like a stupid gay wirdo!!!11111!!!1!!111*

or if you are absolutly out of wird names try normal names spelled wird and phenetic like

Skyler= Sky-lair, Adam=Adamain

if your character is an elf or some other forest dweling entety must have names like
Mia Hy-oki River-tree-moon-forest-rainbow-drayrot-compost

[54j4gwh57k57-3g3g]

Lord_of_the_Funk

remember this simple formula

Character Amnisia + Agast = best seller =millions of dollors = prom date = good times had by all

Oh yes, never underestimate the powers of amnesia Because of course all really good stories are about heroines, beautiful heroines mind you, correction extremely beautiful heroines, that wake up without any knowledge of who or where they are. And of course they are found by a handsome young man with whom they embark on a quest to find their identity, this in the end leading them to the amazing truth that she is the lost princess of some far of country. Oh and remember nothing but the memory of your heroines past must be altered. She will of course remember all of her ultimate fighting moves, oh and there should never be a good explanation for your characters loss of memory, this is to be for ever a mystery. I mean what's a story without a little mystery right?

[Astarael--Banisher]

If you're writing a detective story, the cleverest thing to do is to SOMEHOW pin it on the person who is least likely to do it. Make up a motive, make up the crime-scene, and you're set. Pin the crime on someone who showed up ONCE and never is mentioned again. Oh, and for motive, a deep, unexplainable hate works wonders. I mean, just because Agatha Christie actually sometimes made the detective novel LOGICAL doesn't mean YOU have to.

(In some, Christie follows the old stand-by, though the clurpit it always a main or supporting character, but in her later ones, such as Cards on the Table, there is pure logic, with a number of definite suspects, among which ONE is the murderer for certain, and no random outside character is ever found to be the criminal. She did do that sort of thing in Hercule Poirot's Chirstmas, though...)

[Astarael--Banisher]

Christmas! Your hero celebrates Chistmans. This doesn't mean they're Christian; Christmas is not a religious holiday, after all! Even if they're some sort of sorcerer or vampire, they will still celebrate Christmas.
For a nice touch, have them summon a demon right before the Christmas party for an escort.

[Alybrylla]

If your main character has a dream it always means something. It doesn't matter is their dream is about them jumping across a pretty cloud, it must mean that something awful is going to happen. And don't forget that their dream of the thing and the thing with the thing that stops the bad thing must come true!

[Astarael--Banisher]

Your hero is not black. Your hero can be Caucasian, Asian, or even non-specified, but if you make them black, it has to be a black-angst story. I mean, what story have you read with a black main character that ISN'T about black culture in some way? Black best friends are great, though. It's even better if they die trying to save the hero, 'cos then they become martyrs, and that show just how politically correct you are.

[Astarael--Banisher]

Give your character weird tastes. Don't be consistent in knitting the personality: the more weird traits, the better! Make him/her keep bees or chase tornados, but of course you don't do research on bees or tornados. You want any experts who read waht you wrote to laugh their asses off.
Or, give them your own interests! In which case, get so technical that even you can't understand it. That is the mark of good writing.

[Jasper Riddle]

Astarael--Banisher

Christmas! Your hero celebrates Chistmans. This doesn't mean they're Christian; Christmas is not a religious holiday, after all! Even if they're some sort of sorcerer or vampire, they will still celebrate Christmas.
For a nice touch, have them summon a demon right before the Christmas party for an escort.

And while we're on holidays, it's perfectly okay to have a Japanese schoolgirl celebrate Guy Fawkes Day. Oh, c'mon! Culture, shmulture!

[Wendy_Chan]

If your hero is Asian, they must be Japanese. Good god, whoever heard of a Korean or Vietnamese or Chinese hero? Those aren't cool! Because the Japanese are better than the rest of them!

[Jasper Riddle]

Wendy_Chan

If your hero is Asian, they must be Japanese. Good god, whoever heard of a Korean or Vietnamese or Chinese hero? Those aren't cool! Because the Japanese are better than the rest of them!

Duh! They have katanas!

[Wendy_Chan]

Jasper Riddle

Wendy_Chan

If your hero is Asian, they must be Japanese. Good god, whoever heard of a Korean or Vietnamese or Chinese hero? Those aren't cool! Because the Japanese are better than the rest of them!

Duh! They have katanas!

The Chinese invention of the crossbow is completely irrelevant, of course.

[Jasper Riddle]

Wendy_Chan

Jasper Riddle

Wendy_Chan

If your hero is Asian, they must be Japanese. Good god, whoever heard of a Korean or Vietnamese or Chinese hero? Those aren't cool! Because the Japanese are better than the rest of them!

Duh! They have katanas!

The Chinese invention of the crossbow is completely irrelevant, of course.

D00d!! everyone knows the English invented that, man! xp

[Wendy_Chan]

Jasper Riddle

Wendy_Chan

Jasper Riddle

Wendy_Chan

If your hero is Asian, they must be Japanese. Good god, whoever heard of a Korean or Vietnamese or Chinese hero? Those aren't cool! Because the Japanese are better than the rest of them!

Duh! They have katanas!

The Chinese invention of the crossbow is completely irrelevant, of course.

D00d!! everyone knows the English invented that, man! xp

xd

Feel free to use all the Japanese names you want, even if your culture is completely different. Because the Japanese are teh pwnz0rz. domokun domokun :emoticonmolestsation:

[Lord_of_the_Funk]

always describe your characters like this real descriptions are for loosssssssseeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsssssssssssss!!1!!111

angles and demons

Name: Miyoko Himegami
Age: 15
Race : angels
Gender: female
apperance: has dark brown eyes, long hair tied into a pony tail with a scarlet ribbon tying it. is around four feet. Mostly wears a red kimono.
power type: Fire
history sad how they got on earth and so on) Miyoko is an angel from heaven who leaves heaven because of her demon self, Kaori. Who appears just to make Miyoko a loner and unwanted. Miyoko, when she appears in earth she is a loner and doesn't really care about being one. Miyoko's biggest reason why she has left heaven is because of her/kaori killing a angel who was her best friend.
allies that they have (speciallities as well...right ^_^;?) : Tsukikagami<~~only appears sometimes. Her specialties are singing, kendo, and ninjutsu arts.

Name: NekoSapphireFox
Age: 15
Race : Fox/human/cat
Gender: Female
apperance: Blue whip-lash hair, silver eyes, fox ears and tail, cat paws
power type: Slash, along with scythe hidden
history: Her village was raided when she was barely a month old, her father who was a fox died protecting the mother, who was half human, half neko. Then she was spared, raised by rough and evil humans who beated her severely. Then on the day before her 14th birthday, she ran away.
allies that they have: none