[ Poll ] The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.		17.2%	[ 1666 ]
I add new things.		15.2%	[ 1478 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).		67.6%	[ 6560 ]

Total Votes: 9704

[Wendy_Chan]

Morizawa

Morizawa

Holy crap!

*watches in horror as a group of girls mug the topic of love*

Jesus i didn't think that could....

GAHHH MY EYES MY EYES BLOOD(from love) SQUIRTED IN MY EYES PLEASE DONT GIVE ME AIDS PLEASE DONT GIVE ME AIDS
-------------------------------------------------
now that my spaztic episode is done
-------------------------------------------------

Character names must just be random names you thought to be cool regardless of how many different languages they are from and regardless of the fact that the country/world your character lives in is not a multicultural one.

Well actually why even make it a unicultural one? Why not just give it no culture at all.

Culture? Pah, only fools use culture in fantasy writing!

I mean, you have elves, trolls, every race under the sun, who the hell needs CULTURE? It's for history geeks!

[Sergeant Sargent]

Wendy_Chan

Morizawa

Morizawa

Holy crap!

*watches in horror as a group of girls mug the topic of love*

Jesus i didn't think that could....

GAHHH MY EYES MY EYES BLOOD(from love) SQUIRTED IN MY EYES PLEASE DONT GIVE ME AIDS PLEASE DONT GIVE ME AIDS
-------------------------------------------------
now that my spaztic episode is done
-------------------------------------------------

Character names must just be random names you thought to be cool regardless of how many different languages they are from and regardless of the fact that the country/world your character lives in is not a multicultural one.

Well actually why even make it a unicultural one? Why not just give it no culture at all.

Culture? Pah, only fools use culture in fantasy writing!

I mean, you have elves, trolls, every race under the sun, who the hell needs CULTURE? It's for history geeks!

I mean tottally! And if you have culture (yuck!) how can you have your elf charecter walk around in a pink tank top and short shorts? I mean, jeeze!

[Morizawa]

Sargent_Stupid

Wendy_Chan

Morizawa

Morizawa

Holy crap!

*watches in horror as a group of girls mug the topic of love*

Jesus i didn't think that could....

GAHHH MY EYES MY EYES BLOOD(from love) SQUIRTED IN MY EYES PLEASE DONT GIVE ME AIDS PLEASE DONT GIVE ME AIDS
-------------------------------------------------
now that my spaztic episode is done
-------------------------------------------------

Character names must just be random names you thought to be cool regardless of how many different languages they are from and regardless of the fact that the country/world your character lives in is not a multicultural one.

Well actually why even make it a unicultural one? Why not just give it no culture at all.

Culture? Pah, only fools use culture in fantasy writing!

I mean, you have elves, trolls, every race under the sun, who the hell needs CULTURE? It's for history geeks!

I mean tottally! And if you have culture (yuck!) how can you have your elf charecter walk around in a pink tank top and short shorts? I mean, jeeze!

I can only wonder which gender of the elves you were referring to, the males or females (with pink tank top and short shorts i mean)

[Wendy_Chan]

Sargent_Stupid

Wendy_Chan

Morizawa

Morizawa

Holy crap!

*watches in horror as a group of girls mug the topic of love*

Jesus i didn't think that could....

GAHHH MY EYES MY EYES BLOOD(from love) SQUIRTED IN MY EYES PLEASE DONT GIVE ME AIDS PLEASE DONT GIVE ME AIDS
-------------------------------------------------
now that my spaztic episode is done
-------------------------------------------------

Character names must just be random names you thought to be cool regardless of how many different languages they are from and regardless of the fact that the country/world your character lives in is not a multicultural one.

Well actually why even make it a unicultural one? Why not just give it no culture at all.

Culture? Pah, only fools use culture in fantasy writing!

I mean, you have elves, trolls, every race under the sun, who the hell needs CULTURE? It's for history geeks!

I mean tottally! And if you have culture (yuck!) how can you have your elf charecter walk around in a pink tank top and short shorts? I mean, jeeze!

Or better yet, dress your heroines in bikini tops and loincloths. Yet miraculously, they NEVER get wounded in the exposed areas, oh no! Especially in winter. For somehow, they are ALL immune to snow, cold, and wind.

Oh, wait, I forgot! It's their ELVAN BLOOD keeping them warm!

Oh, and when they're fighting, the clothing never gets torn. Taboo. TABOO.

[timechaser]

And of course, despite all this exposure, they will never get sunburned. On the contrary, they will tan in a completely uniform manner. What do you mean the sun's rays can't tan you through clothing?!
Or they will be deathly pale no matter how long they are in the sun.

Is someone still planning on organizing this stuff and cataloguing it?

[IrkenMegara]

Wendy_Chan

Sargent_Stupid

Wendy_Chan

Culture? Pah, only fools use culture in fantasy writing!

I mean, you have elves, trolls, every race under the sun, who the hell needs CULTURE? It's for history geeks!

I mean tottally! And if you have culture (yuck!) how can you have your elf charecter walk around in a pink tank top and short shorts? I mean, jeeze!

Or better yet, dress your heroines in bikini tops and loincloths. Yet miraculously, they NEVER get wounded in the exposed areas, oh no! Especially in winter. For somehow, they are ALL immune to snow, cold, and wind.

Oh, wait, I forgot! It's their ELVAN BLOOD keeping them warm!

Oh, and when they're fighting, the clothing never gets torn. Taboo. TABOO.

No no, clothing is allowed to get torn. But ONLY if it exposes the hero's fine, muscled chest, or the heroine's excessive cleavage. Other small rips and tears may be used to make the fight seem "intense" or "extreme," but that's it.

[hecate-athena]

timechaser

And of course, despite all this exposure, they will never get sunburned. On the contrary, they will tan in a completely uniform manner. What do you mean the sun's rays can't tan you through clothing?!
Or they will be deathly pale no matter how long they are in the sun.

Is someone still planning on organizing this stuff and cataloguing it?

I shudder to think how long that'll take.

[wingnut the improbable]

If your character's life isn't glamourous and interesting, then it must be always very very boring. And they must whine about it. A lot.

Your characters are doing absolutely nothing before the Big Important Plot Event occurs. For instance, let's imagine that you're doing the coolest plot ever: a Japanese schoolgirl gets transported to a magical world. Before they are magically transported there, they must just be taking a nice walk. To nowhere in particular. It will create an Interesting Contrast.

Your characters don't react. That would be dumb. The only time they react is if it reminds them of their SuperAngsty (tm) past.

[Ryu_chan]

IrkenMegara

Wendy_Chan

Sargent_Stupid

Wendy_Chan

Culture? Pah, only fools use culture in fantasy writing!

I mean, you have elves, trolls, every race under the sun, who the hell needs CULTURE? It's for history geeks!

I mean tottally! And if you have culture (yuck!) how can you have your elf charecter walk around in a pink tank top and short shorts? I mean, jeeze!

Or better yet, dress your heroines in bikini tops and loincloths. Yet miraculously, they NEVER get wounded in the exposed areas, oh no! Especially in winter. For somehow, they are ALL immune to snow, cold, and wind.

Oh, wait, I forgot! It's their ELVAN BLOOD keeping them warm!

Oh, and when they're fighting, the clothing never gets torn. Taboo. TABOO.

No no, clothing is allowed to get torn. But ONLY if it exposes the hero's fine, muscled chest, or the heroine's excessive cleavage. Other small rips and tears may be used to make the fight seem "intense" or "extreme," but that's it.

But god forbid it ever get dirty!!! *Shudder*

[Jasper Riddle]

hecate-athena

timechaser

And of course, despite all this exposure, they will never get sunburned. On the contrary, they will tan in a completely uniform manner. What do you mean the sun's rays can't tan you through clothing?!
Or they will be deathly pale no matter how long they are in the sun.

Is someone still planning on organizing this stuff and cataloguing it?

I shudder to think how long that'll take.

but it'll be well worth it.
On the subject of clothing, heroines must have their attire completely torn off. then you can write an OMGMAGIKUL Magical Girl(tm) Transformation Sequence. Note: this must have pretty lights, glitter, and cutesy music. Incantation to trigger Transformation is best. And then, when Trasnformation is complete, she has a new outfit! Tada!

[kitedragon]

Jasper Riddle

hecate-athena

timechaser

And of course, despite all this exposure, they will never get sunburned. On the contrary, they will tan in a completely uniform manner. What do you mean the sun's rays can't tan you through clothing?!
Or they will be deathly pale no matter how long they are in the sun.

Is someone still planning on organizing this stuff and cataloguing it?

I shudder to think how long that'll take.

but it'll be well worth it.
On the subject of clothing, heroines must have their attire completely torn off. then you can write an OMGMAGIKUL Magical Girl(tm) Transformation Sequence. Note: this must have pretty lights, glitter, and cutesy music. Incantation to trigger Transformation is best. And then, when Trasnformation is complete, she has a new outfit! Tada!

"'Anime Intellect'"

Yes, everybody knows that the whole purpose of Magical Girl(tm) Transformation Sequences are to have excesive nude scenes and fanservice!

*Struggles to think of something to add after the quote.*

[hecate-athena]

kitedragon

Jasper Riddle

hecate-athena

timechaser

And of course, despite all this exposure, they will never get sunburned. On the contrary, they will tan in a completely uniform manner. What do you mean the sun's rays can't tan you through clothing?!
Or they will be deathly pale no matter how long they are in the sun.

Is someone still planning on organizing this stuff and cataloguing it?

I shudder to think how long that'll take.

but it'll be well worth it.
On the subject of clothing, heroines must have their attire completely torn off. then you can write an OMGMAGIKUL Magical Girl(tm) Transformation Sequence. Note: this must have pretty lights, glitter, and cutesy music. Incantation to trigger Transformation is best. And then, when Trasnformation is complete, she has a new outfit! Tada!

"'Anime Intellect'"

Yes, everybody knows that the whole purpose of Magical Girl(tm) Transformation Sequences are to have excesive nude scenes and fanservice!

*Struggles to think of something to add after the quote.*

Dammit, stop copyright-infringing!

[dah fuzzinator of dewm!]

everyone loves unmemorable protagonists! make sure to NOT give them a lovable quirk! THEY ARE EVIL!!

[54j4gwh57k57-3g3g]

Oh and remember all good fantasies are about quests. And these quests must be explained as long laborious processes but in the end must not take more then a week, and only this long because of the time your hero/heroine spent having sex with some unbearably hot guy/girl. I mean really, who wants to spend all that time actually writing a full length adventure to fit its initial description?

[Lord_of_the_Funk]

remember this simple formula

Character Amnisia + Agast = best seller =millions of dollors = prom date = good times had by all