The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2253 ]
I add new things.	14.9%	[ 1923 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.6%	[ 8707 ]
Total Votes:			[ 12883 ]

[Jasper Riddle]

Sargent_Stupid

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

Also, never shall they like The Beatles, classical music, Elvis, or that weird forties elevator-style that my grandpa likes. A character can only like the Grateful Dead if he or she is an incredibly stereotypical hippie, which therefore prevents him or her from being a main character and casts him or her into a Quirky Sidekick role.

Heroine are not allowed to touch anything remotely rock/rap-ish. Classical. Only. There's a rule against heroine's having violent theme music, y'know.

Unless she is an OMG!Rebellious!Teen!Heroine.

Yeah, but then it has to have a girl singing. No KoRn. That's for the wild brutes.
Speaking of theme music, you must always write the lyrics to it into the story whenever that scene occurs.

Luna leapt into battle, greatsword flashing as she swung it over her shoulder.
*write first line of song here*
A beast blocked her way and she killed it.
*write second line of song here*

She should sing Stronger by Britany Spears! OMFGTTLYAWSOME!

Like tottaly!!! lol

[KiwiOfDestruction]

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

Ryu_chan

KiwiOfDestruction

NOOOOOO! That would be requited love with zero complications! That's not brain-cramping enough.

Dodecahedron, perhaps? Ooh, 12-way romance!!! Sweet!!

Whoa! 3-D romances! *Brain explodes*

Eventually, when there are enough romances going on that no sides or faces are immediately discernable, it simply reverts into.... the Love Sphere.

Uh, I already mentioned that if you're really good, it shouldn't even be a recognizable shape when you're done. Pity I was ignored...

I agree with you, Jasper. If you're good enough, it shall no longer be a polygon or a ployhedron.


If you need inspiration for your love shapes, give an angry three-year-old paper and a crayon. Tell him to scribble on the paper. When he's done, lo and behold, you have your love shape!

[Jasper Riddle]

KiwiOfDestruction

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

Ryu_chan

KiwiOfDestruction

NOOOOOO! That would be requited love with zero complications! That's not brain-cramping enough.

Dodecahedron, perhaps? Ooh, 12-way romance!!! Sweet!!

Whoa! 3-D romances! *Brain explodes*

Eventually, when there are enough romances going on that no sides or faces are immediately discernable, it simply reverts into.... the Love Sphere.

Uh, I already mentioned that if you're really good, it shouldn't even be a recognizable shape when you're done. Pity I was ignored...

I agree with you, Jasper. If you're good enough, it shall no longer be a polygon or a ployhedron.


If you need inspiration for your love shapes, give an angry three-year-old paper and a crayon. Tell him to scribble on the paper. When he's done, lo and behold, you have your love shape!

Wow! Lemme guess--you got this stright from a professional!

[Well This Sucks]

KiwiOfDestruction

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

Ryu_chan

KiwiOfDestruction

NOOOOOO! That would be requited love with zero complications! That's not brain-cramping enough.

Dodecahedron, perhaps? Ooh, 12-way romance!!! Sweet!!

Whoa! 3-D romances! *Brain explodes*

Eventually, when there are enough romances going on that no sides or faces are immediately discernable, it simply reverts into.... the Love Sphere.

Uh, I already mentioned that if you're really good, it shouldn't even be a recognizable shape when you're done. Pity I was ignored...

I agree with you, Jasper. If you're good enough, it shall no longer be a polygon or a ployhedron.


If you need inspiration for your love shapes, give an angry three-year-old paper and a crayon. Tell him to scribble on the paper. When he's done, lo and behold, you have your love shape!

The Love Equation:

X= The desirer
Y= The desired
Z= A happy, functional romance

In a story with only one romance going on, the equation is fairly simple. X is the hottest member of the opposite gender featured in the story and Y is your hero or heroine. X+Y=Z.

In polyhedric romances, it gets a bit more complicated, because at no point in time is there only one X. It defies most laws of mathematics, because while solving for X, X+Y=Z, but when solving for Y we must introduce a new variable, the desired of the desired, or D. For Y, Y+D=Z. D, of course, is lusting after another person, G, and so solving for D, D+G=Z. G either solves itself with yet another variable or believes that G+X=Z......

(Guess who's been studying this weekend O.o)

[Jasper Riddle]

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

Whoa! 3-D romances! *Brain explodes*

Eventually, when there are enough romances going on that no sides or faces are immediately discernable, it simply reverts into.... the Love Sphere.

Uh, I already mentioned that if you're really good, it shouldn't even be a recognizable shape when you're done. Pity I was ignored...

I agree with you, Jasper. If you're good enough, it shall no longer be a polygon or a ployhedron.


If you need inspiration for your love shapes, give an angry three-year-old paper and a crayon. Tell him to scribble on the paper. When he's done, lo and behold, you have your love shape!

The Love Equation:

X= The desirer
Y= The desired
Z= A happy, functional romance

In a story with only one romance going on, the equation is fairly simple. X is the hottest member of the opposite gender featured in the story and Y is your hero or heroine. X+Y=Z.

In polyhedric romances, it gets a bit more complicated, because at no point in time is there only one X. It defies most laws of mathematics, because while solving for X, X+Y=Z, but when solving for Y we must introduce a new variable, the desired of the desired, or D. For Y, Y+D=Z. D, of course, is lusting after another person, G, and so solving for D, D+G=Z. G either solves itself with yet another variable or believes that G+X=Z......

(Guess who's been studying this weekend O.o)

This is a marvelous equation.

[Well This Sucks]

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

Whoa! 3-D romances! *Brain explodes*

Eventually, when there are enough romances going on that no sides or faces are immediately discernable, it simply reverts into.... the Love Sphere.

Uh, I already mentioned that if you're really good, it shouldn't even be a recognizable shape when you're done. Pity I was ignored...

I agree with you, Jasper. If you're good enough, it shall no longer be a polygon or a ployhedron.


If you need inspiration for your love shapes, give an angry three-year-old paper and a crayon. Tell him to scribble on the paper. When he's done, lo and behold, you have your love shape!

The Love Equation:

X= The desirer
Y= The desired
Z= A happy, functional romance

In a story with only one romance going on, the equation is fairly simple. X is the hottest member of the opposite gender featured in the story and Y is your hero or heroine. X+Y=Z.

In polyhedric romances, it gets a bit more complicated, because at no point in time is there only one X. It defies most laws of mathematics, because while solving for X, X+Y=Z, but when solving for Y we must introduce a new variable, the desired of the desired, or D. For Y, Y+D=Z. D, of course, is lusting after another person, G, and so solving for D, D+G=Z. G either solves itself with yet another variable or believes that G+X=Z......

(Guess who's been studying this weekend O.o)

This is a marvelous equation.

*curtsies* Why thank you.

[Jasper Riddle]

Well This Sucks

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

Jasper Riddle

Uh, I already mentioned that if you're really good, it shouldn't even be a recognizable shape when you're done. Pity I was ignored...

I agree with you, Jasper. If you're good enough, it shall no longer be a polygon or a ployhedron.


If you need inspiration for your love shapes, give an angry three-year-old paper and a crayon. Tell him to scribble on the paper. When he's done, lo and behold, you have your love shape!

The Love Equation:

X= The desirer
Y= The desired
Z= A happy, functional romance

In a story with only one romance going on, the equation is fairly simple. X is the hottest member of the opposite gender featured in the story and Y is your hero or heroine. X+Y=Z.

In polyhedric romances, it gets a bit more complicated, because at no point in time is there only one X. It defies most laws of mathematics, because while solving for X, X+Y=Z, but when solving for Y we must introduce a new variable, the desired of the desired, or D. For Y, Y+D=Z. D, of course, is lusting after another person, G, and so solving for D, D+G=Z. G either solves itself with yet another variable or believes that G+X=Z......

(Guess who's been studying this weekend O.o)

This is a marvelous equation.

*curtsies* Why thank you.

you are most welcome.

[Wendy_Chan]

The hero and heroine have copious amounts of sex when they're not out there kicking m-m-m-MONSTER a**!

And she never gets pregnant, you hear me? NEVER! They don't have condoms, but she NEVER gets pregnant!

[KiwiOfDestruction]

Jasper Riddle

KiwiOfDestruction

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

Whoa! 3-D romances! *Brain explodes*

Eventually, when there are enough romances going on that no sides or faces are immediately discernable, it simply reverts into.... the Love Sphere.

Uh, I already mentioned that if you're really good, it shouldn't even be a recognizable shape when you're done. Pity I was ignored...

I agree with you, Jasper. If you're good enough, it shall no longer be a polygon or a ployhedron.


If you need inspiration for your love shapes, give an angry three-year-old paper and a crayon. Tell him to scribble on the paper. When he's done, lo and behold, you have your love shape!

Wow! Lemme guess--you got this stright from a professional!

Oh, I definitely got it from a professional-- a person on fanfiction.net that has a fic that had over 30 reviews!

[MaliciousGlow]

Wendy_Chan

The hero and heroine have copious amounts of sex when they're not out there kicking m-m-m-MONSTER a**!

And she never gets pregnant, you hear me? NEVER! They don't have condoms, but she NEVER gets pregnant!

I absolutely agree! At leat, I kinda switched that up in my boo, but it's fully explained why. mwahahahahahaaaa!

[Morizawa]

Holy crap!

*watches in horror as a group of girls mug the topic of love*

Jesus i didn't think that could....

GAHHH MY EYES MY EYES BLOOD(from love) SQUIRTED IN MY EYES PLEASE DONT GIVE ME AIDS PLEASE DONT GIVE ME AIDS
-------------------------------------------------
now that my spaztic episode is done
-------------------------------------------------

Character names must just be random names you thought to be cool regardless of how many different languages they are from and regardless of the fact that the country/world your character lives in is not a multicultural one.

[Sergeant Sargent]

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

Jasper Riddle

Uh, I already mentioned that if you're really good, it shouldn't even be a recognizable shape when you're done. Pity I was ignored...

I agree with you, Jasper. If you're good enough, it shall no longer be a polygon or a ployhedron.


If you need inspiration for your love shapes, give an angry three-year-old paper and a crayon. Tell him to scribble on the paper. When he's done, lo and behold, you have your love shape!

The Love Equation:

X= The desirer
Y= The desired
Z= A happy, functional romance

In a story with only one romance going on, the equation is fairly simple. X is the hottest member of the opposite gender featured in the story and Y is your hero or heroine. X+Y=Z.

In polyhedric romances, it gets a bit more complicated, because at no point in time is there only one X. It defies most laws of mathematics, because while solving for X, X+Y=Z, but when solving for Y we must introduce a new variable, the desired of the desired, or D. For Y, Y+D=Z. D, of course, is lusting after another person, G, and so solving for D, D+G=Z. G either solves itself with yet another variable or believes that G+X=Z......

(Guess who's been studying this weekend O.o)

This is a marvelous equation.

*curtsies* Why thank you.

you are most welcome.

Wouldn't it be X squared?

[Morizawa]

Morizawa

Holy crap!

*watches in horror as a group of girls mug the topic of love*

Jesus i didn't think that could....

GAHHH MY EYES MY EYES BLOOD(from love) SQUIRTED IN MY EYES PLEASE DONT GIVE ME AIDS PLEASE DONT GIVE ME AIDS
-------------------------------------------------
now that my spaztic episode is done
-------------------------------------------------

Character names must just be random names you thought to be cool regardless of how many different languages they are from and regardless of the fact that the country/world your character lives in is not a multicultural one.

Well actually why even make it a unicultural one? Why not just give it no culture at all.

[hecate-athena]

Morizawa

Holy crap!

*watches in horror as a group of girls mug the topic of love*

Jesus i didn't think that could....

GAHHH MY EYES MY EYES BLOOD(from love) SQUIRTED IN MY EYES PLEASE DONT GIVE ME AIDS PLEASE DONT GIVE ME AIDS
-------------------------------------------------
now that my spaztic episode is done
-------------------------------------------------

Character names must just be random names you thought to be cool regardless of how many different languages they are from and regardless of the fact that the country/world your character lives in is not a multicultural one.

That's because they are secretly the children of the Queen/King of an outside race. Of course they would have different names. They must be unique!1!42!

[KiwiOfDestruction]

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

Whoa! 3-D romances! *Brain explodes*

Eventually, when there are enough romances going on that no sides or faces are immediately discernable, it simply reverts into.... the Love Sphere.

Uh, I already mentioned that if you're really good, it shouldn't even be a recognizable shape when you're done. Pity I was ignored...

I agree with you, Jasper. If you're good enough, it shall no longer be a polygon or a ployhedron.


If you need inspiration for your love shapes, give an angry three-year-old paper and a crayon. Tell him to scribble on the paper. When he's done, lo and behold, you have your love shape!

The Love Equation:

X= The desirer
Y= The desired
Z= A happy, functional romance

In a story with only one romance going on, the equation is fairly simple. X is the hottest member of the opposite gender featured in the story and Y is your hero or heroine. X+Y=Z.

In polyhedric romances, it gets a bit more complicated, because at no point in time is there only one X. It defies most laws of mathematics, because while solving for X, X+Y=Z, but when solving for Y we must introduce a new variable, the desired of the desired, or D. For Y, Y+D=Z. D, of course, is lusting after another person, G, and so solving for D, D+G=Z. G either solves itself with yet another variable or believes that G+X=Z......

(Guess who's been studying this weekend O.o)

I've been studying, as well!

Okay, on July 9th, 3:30 so there's a train in Dallas with your hero on it going northwest at 120 miles an hour, and on July 9th at 4:20 there's a train in San Francisco going southeast at 140 miles an hour with your heroine on it. The train with the hero on it makes a stop phoenix to refuel and the train with your heroine on it has a slight breakdown and fixing it takes 5 minutes. When and where will the trains crash and your lovers meet and have sex?