The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2292 ]
I add new things.	14.9%	[ 1951 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.6%	[ 8852 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13095 ]

[Tavreynya]

LoneGothic

Birds sing along with her. Along with forest creatures.

Forest creatures are OMGSOTIMID except that they all love your hero(ine) to death. Yet the hero still grumbles about how much trouble it is to hunt up food she's not even going to eat because she's a vegetarian. Why has he never considered using her as bait? Because continuity is TEH EV0L.

(Post number 1500!)

[Jasper Riddle]

(you guys hit 100 without me? Blasphemers! crying )
No matter how many times the main guy and gal fsck, the girl can't become preggers (unless it's at the end of the story and there's no more fighting going on)! There's a dang law against that! Biology? Huh?

[hecate-athena]

They can, but only if it's caused by a bad guy raping her. The child shall be omgsokool1!11!87!

[KiwiOfDestruction]

LoneGothic

(Oh yay. 100 pages!)

Onto the music factor:

Your characters must angst to Evanescene, play the guitar for added angsting, like anything from metal to goth, ONLY wear black shirts with band logos and have black 'stringy' hair which, still is sleek and glossy.

However, to add to a character's beauty, one must be an orchestra in herself, play a flute by a lakeside and attract a beautiful, mysterious stranger, play a lute and not a guitar despite the fact lutes are barely produced nowadays, sing the most poppish romance songs ever and...

Birds sing along with her. Along with forest creatures.

When they're angry, make them sing rock -- very loud rock which involves screaming and bands like Linkin Park. When they're confused, they're also angsty, even if they're just confused about why their friend is acting rebel and other minor things and when they are, they also sing and scream Linkin Park and Green Day.

Totally. And they should never listen to a band that's old or unheard of. I'm going to make equivalents here. Never use the one on the left when you can use the on on the right.

Nightwish=Lacuna Coil
Madonna=Gwen Stefani
Narcotic Thrust=D.H.T.
ABBA=Those bubble-gum remixes by the A*Teens are so much cooler in your story. ((Excuse me while I hurl))

[Well This Sucks]

KiwiOfDestruction

LoneGothic

(Oh yay. 100 pages!)

Onto the music factor:

Your characters must angst to Evanescene, play the guitar for added angsting, like anything from metal to goth, ONLY wear black shirts with band logos and have black 'stringy' hair which, still is sleek and glossy.

However, to add to a character's beauty, one must be an orchestra in herself, play a flute by a lakeside and attract a beautiful, mysterious stranger, play a lute and not a guitar despite the fact lutes are barely produced nowadays, sing the most poppish romance songs ever and...

Birds sing along with her. Along with forest creatures.

When they're angry, make them sing rock -- very loud rock which involves screaming and bands like Linkin Park. When they're confused, they're also angsty, even if they're just confused about why their friend is acting rebel and other minor things and when they are, they also sing and scream Linkin Park and Green Day.

Totally. And they should never listen to a band that's old or unheard of. I'm going to make equivalents here. Never use the one on the left when you can use the on on the right.

Nightwish=Lacuna Coil
Madonna=Gwen Stefani
Narcotic Thrust=D.H.T.
ABBA=Those bubble-gum remixes by the A*Teens are so much cooler in your story. ((Excuse me while I hurl))

Also, never shall they like The Beatles, classical music, Elvis, or that weird forties elevator-style that my grandpa likes. A character can only like the Grateful Dead if he or she is an incredibly stereotypical hippie, which therefore prevents him or her from being a main character and casts him or her into a Quirky Sidekick role.

[Jasper Riddle]

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

LoneGothic

(Oh yay. 100 pages!)

Onto the music factor:

Your characters must angst to Evanescene, play the guitar for added angsting, like anything from metal to goth, ONLY wear black shirts with band logos and have black 'stringy' hair which, still is sleek and glossy.

However, to add to a character's beauty, one must be an orchestra in herself, play a flute by a lakeside and attract a beautiful, mysterious stranger, play a lute and not a guitar despite the fact lutes are barely produced nowadays, sing the most poppish romance songs ever and...

Birds sing along with her. Along with forest creatures.

When they're angry, make them sing rock -- very loud rock which involves screaming and bands like Linkin Park. When they're confused, they're also angsty, even if they're just confused about why their friend is acting rebel and other minor things and when they are, they also sing and scream Linkin Park and Green Day.

Totally. And they should never listen to a band that's old or unheard of. I'm going to make equivalents here. Never use the one on the left when you can use the on on the right.

Nightwish=Lacuna Coil
Madonna=Gwen Stefani
Narcotic Thrust=D.H.T.
ABBA=Those bubble-gum remixes by the A*Teens are so much cooler in your story. ((Excuse me while I hurl))

Also, never shall they like The Beatles, classical music, Elvis, or that weird forties elevator-style that my grandpa likes. A character can only like the Grateful Dead if he or she is an incredibly stereotypical hippie, which therefore prevents him or her from being a main character and casts him or her into a Quirky Sidekick role.

Heroine are not allowed to touch anything remotely rock/rap-ish. Classical. Only. There's a rule against heroine's having violent theme music, y'know.

[Well This Sucks]

KiwiOfDestruction

Ryu_chan

KiwiOfDestruction

Sargent_Stupid

hecate-athena

I was thinking...decagon.

Better yet, how about a pretty love asteris? *

NOOOOOO! That would be requited love with zero complications! That's not brain-cramping enough.

Dodecahedron, perhaps? Ooh, 12-way romance!!! Sweet!!

Whoa! 3-D romances! *Brain explodes*

Eventually, when there are enough romances going on that no sides or faces are immediately discernable, it simply reverts into.... the Love Sphere.

[Jasper Riddle]

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

Ryu_chan

KiwiOfDestruction

Sargent_Stupid

hecate-athena

I was thinking...decagon.

Better yet, how about a pretty love asteris? *

NOOOOOO! That would be requited love with zero complications! That's not brain-cramping enough.

Dodecahedron, perhaps? Ooh, 12-way romance!!! Sweet!!

Whoa! 3-D romances! *Brain explodes*

Eventually, when there are enough romances going on that no sides or faces are immediately discernable, it simply reverts into.... the Love Sphere.

Uh, I already mentioned that if you're really good, it shouldn't even be a recognizable shape when you're done. Pity I was ignored...

[Well This Sucks]

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

LoneGothic

(Oh yay. 100 pages!)

Onto the music factor:

Your characters must angst to Evanescene, play the guitar for added angsting, like anything from metal to goth, ONLY wear black shirts with band logos and have black 'stringy' hair which, still is sleek and glossy.

However, to add to a character's beauty, one must be an orchestra in herself, play a flute by a lakeside and attract a beautiful, mysterious stranger, play a lute and not a guitar despite the fact lutes are barely produced nowadays, sing the most poppish romance songs ever and...

Birds sing along with her. Along with forest creatures.

When they're angry, make them sing rock -- very loud rock which involves screaming and bands like Linkin Park. When they're confused, they're also angsty, even if they're just confused about why their friend is acting rebel and other minor things and when they are, they also sing and scream Linkin Park and Green Day.

Totally. And they should never listen to a band that's old or unheard of. I'm going to make equivalents here. Never use the one on the left when you can use the on on the right.

Nightwish=Lacuna Coil
Madonna=Gwen Stefani
Narcotic Thrust=D.H.T.
ABBA=Those bubble-gum remixes by the A*Teens are so much cooler in your story. ((Excuse me while I hurl))

Also, never shall they like The Beatles, classical music, Elvis, or that weird forties elevator-style that my grandpa likes. A character can only like the Grateful Dead if he or she is an incredibly stereotypical hippie, which therefore prevents him or her from being a main character and casts him or her into a Quirky Sidekick role.

Heroine are not allowed to touch anything remotely rock/rap-ish. Classical. Only. There's a rule against heroine's having violent theme music, y'know.

Unless she is an OMG!Rebellious!Teen!Heroine.

[Well This Sucks]

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

Ryu_chan

KiwiOfDestruction

NOOOOOO! That would be requited love with zero complications! That's not brain-cramping enough.

Dodecahedron, perhaps? Ooh, 12-way romance!!! Sweet!!

Whoa! 3-D romances! *Brain explodes*

Eventually, when there are enough romances going on that no sides or faces are immediately discernable, it simply reverts into.... the Love Sphere.

Uh, I already mentioned that if you're really good, it shouldn't even be a recognizable shape when you're done. Pity I was ignored...

Sorry 'bout that ^_^;; Didn't notice.

[Jasper Riddle]

Well This Sucks

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

LoneGothic

(Oh yay. 100 pages!)

Onto the music factor:

Your characters must angst to Evanescene, play the guitar for added angsting, like anything from metal to goth, ONLY wear black shirts with band logos and have black 'stringy' hair which, still is sleek and glossy.

However, to add to a character's beauty, one must be an orchestra in herself, play a flute by a lakeside and attract a beautiful, mysterious stranger, play a lute and not a guitar despite the fact lutes are barely produced nowadays, sing the most poppish romance songs ever and...

Birds sing along with her. Along with forest creatures.

When they're angry, make them sing rock -- very loud rock which involves screaming and bands like Linkin Park. When they're confused, they're also angsty, even if they're just confused about why their friend is acting rebel and other minor things and when they are, they also sing and scream Linkin Park and Green Day.

Totally. And they should never listen to a band that's old or unheard of. I'm going to make equivalents here. Never use the one on the left when you can use the on on the right.

Nightwish=Lacuna Coil
Madonna=Gwen Stefani
Narcotic Thrust=D.H.T.
ABBA=Those bubble-gum remixes by the A*Teens are so much cooler in your story. ((Excuse me while I hurl))

Also, never shall they like The Beatles, classical music, Elvis, or that weird forties elevator-style that my grandpa likes. A character can only like the Grateful Dead if he or she is an incredibly stereotypical hippie, which therefore prevents him or her from being a main character and casts him or her into a Quirky Sidekick role.

Heroine are not allowed to touch anything remotely rock/rap-ish. Classical. Only. There's a rule against heroine's having violent theme music, y'know.

Unless she is an OMG!Rebellious!Teen!Heroine.

Yeah, but then it has to have a girl singing. No KoRn. That's for the wild brutes.
Speaking of theme music, you must always write the lyrics to it into the story whenever that scene occurs.

Luna leapt into battle, greatsword flashing as she swung it over her shoulder.
*write first line of song here*
A beast blocked her way and she killed it.
*write second line of song here*

[Sergeant Sargent]

Well This Sucks

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

Ryu_chan

KiwiOfDestruction

NOOOOOO! That would be requited love with zero complications! That's not brain-cramping enough.

Dodecahedron, perhaps? Ooh, 12-way romance!!! Sweet!!

Whoa! 3-D romances! *Brain explodes*

Eventually, when there are enough romances going on that no sides or faces are immediately discernable, it simply reverts into.... the Love Sphere.

Uh, I already mentioned that if you're really good, it shouldn't even be a recognizable shape when you're done. Pity I was ignored...

Sorry 'bout that ^_^;; Didn't notice.

Ah, the lovely Love Asteris. *

[Sergeant Sargent]

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

LoneGothic

(Oh yay. 100 pages!)

Onto the music factor:

Your characters must angst to Evanescene, play the guitar for added angsting, like anything from metal to goth, ONLY wear black shirts with band logos and have black 'stringy' hair which, still is sleek and glossy.

However, to add to a character's beauty, one must be an orchestra in herself, play a flute by a lakeside and attract a beautiful, mysterious stranger, play a lute and not a guitar despite the fact lutes are barely produced nowadays, sing the most poppish romance songs ever and...

Birds sing along with her. Along with forest creatures.

When they're angry, make them sing rock -- very loud rock which involves screaming and bands like Linkin Park. When they're confused, they're also angsty, even if they're just confused about why their friend is acting rebel and other minor things and when they are, they also sing and scream Linkin Park and Green Day.

Totally. And they should never listen to a band that's old or unheard of. I'm going to make equivalents here. Never use the one on the left when you can use the on on the right.

Nightwish=Lacuna Coil
Madonna=Gwen Stefani
Narcotic Thrust=D.H.T.
ABBA=Those bubble-gum remixes by the A*Teens are so much cooler in your story. ((Excuse me while I hurl))

Also, never shall they like The Beatles, classical music, Elvis, or that weird forties elevator-style that my grandpa likes. A character can only like the Grateful Dead if he or she is an incredibly stereotypical hippie, which therefore prevents him or her from being a main character and casts him or her into a Quirky Sidekick role.

Heroine are not allowed to touch anything remotely rock/rap-ish. Classical. Only. There's a rule against heroine's having violent theme music, y'know.

Unless she is an OMG!Rebellious!Teen!Heroine.

Yeah, but then it has to have a girl singing. No KoRn. That's for the wild brutes.
Speaking of theme music, you must always write the lyrics to it into the story whenever that scene occurs.

Luna leapt into battle, greatsword flashing as she swung it over her shoulder.
*write first line of song here*
A beast blocked her way and she killed it.
*write second line of song here*

She should sing Stronger by Britany Spears! OMFGTTLYAWSOME!

[Jasper Riddle]

Sargent_Stupid

Well This Sucks

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

Whoa! 3-D romances! *Brain explodes*

Eventually, when there are enough romances going on that no sides or faces are immediately discernable, it simply reverts into.... the Love Sphere.

Uh, I already mentioned that if you're really good, it shouldn't even be a recognizable shape when you're done. Pity I was ignored...

Sorry 'bout that ^_^;; Didn't notice.

Ah, the lovely Love Asteris. *

an asterix means unrequited love, and everyone knows that in a real book, everone gets paired up in the end. EVERYONE. even the mailman.

[Well This Sucks]

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

Jasper Riddle

Well This Sucks

KiwiOfDestruction

LoneGothic

(Oh yay. 100 pages!)

Onto the music factor:

Your characters must angst to Evanescene, play the guitar for added angsting, like anything from metal to goth, ONLY wear black shirts with band logos and have black 'stringy' hair which, still is sleek and glossy.

However, to add to a character's beauty, one must be an orchestra in herself, play a flute by a lakeside and attract a beautiful, mysterious stranger, play a lute and not a guitar despite the fact lutes are barely produced nowadays, sing the most poppish romance songs ever and...

Birds sing along with her. Along with forest creatures.

When they're angry, make them sing rock -- very loud rock which involves screaming and bands like Linkin Park. When they're confused, they're also angsty, even if they're just confused about why their friend is acting rebel and other minor things and when they are, they also sing and scream Linkin Park and Green Day.

Totally. And they should never listen to a band that's old or unheard of. I'm going to make equivalents here. Never use the one on the left when you can use the on on the right.

Nightwish=Lacuna Coil
Madonna=Gwen Stefani
Narcotic Thrust=D.H.T.
ABBA=Those bubble-gum remixes by the A*Teens are so much cooler in your story. ((Excuse me while I hurl))

Also, never shall they like The Beatles, classical music, Elvis, or that weird forties elevator-style that my grandpa likes. A character can only like the Grateful Dead if he or she is an incredibly stereotypical hippie, which therefore prevents him or her from being a main character and casts him or her into a Quirky Sidekick role.

Heroine are not allowed to touch anything remotely rock/rap-ish. Classical. Only. There's a rule against heroine's having violent theme music, y'know.

Unless she is an OMG!Rebellious!Teen!Heroine.

Yeah, but then it has to have a girl singing. No KoRn. That's for the wild brutes.
Speaking of theme music, you must always write the lyrics to it into the story whenever that scene occurs.

Luna leapt into battle, greatsword flashing as she swung it over her shoulder.
*write first line of song here*
A beast blocked her way and she killed it.
*write second line of song here*

Hopefully, it will have a useful little OOC aside in it, to the effect of:

(OMG haha, this iz a little confuzing but just pretend its like a music vidoe kk?)