The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2292 ]
I add new things.	14.9%	[ 1951 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.6%	[ 8852 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13095 ]

[hecate-athena]

KiwiOfDestruction

hecate-athena

All people awaking from a nightmare must bolt upright and start panting heavily. They can never just open their eyes.

Never mind that in real life that almost never happens. In the Perfect Suethor's Author's World, it happens.

Exactly. Completely disregard the fact that that usually never happens. That usually you just opens your eyes.

[night_mare]

(sorry if this has been mentioned. XDD;; I've been wanting to add to this thread for forever)

Also, dreams can never be just dreams. Their either memories of a tragic past or premonitions of the future. Lord knows you just can't have a selection of random images that make no sense whatsoever.

[KiwiOfDestruction]

When someone is magical in a modern world, they must brag about it and show it off, and everyone will be impressed and treat them with reverence. No questions asked. Don't think about the fact that if they said they were telekinetic anywhere but the internet they would probably be driven off to a mental asylum and if they showed it off everyone else around them would be driven off to a mental asylum for claiming that they have magic, and the person with the magic would be completely shunned and feared.


((Who wants to focus on modern fantasies with me?))

[hecate-athena]

No one involved in a car crash, alien invasion, volcano eruption, violent battle, etc, will ever go into shock. It's just a made-up ailment invented by doctors in order to scam more money out of us.

[Jun Valson]

hecate-athena

No one involved in a car crash, alien invasion, volcano eruption, violent battle, etc, will ever go into shock. It's just a made-up ailment invented by doctors in order to scam more money out of us.

XD (glad I've actually used shock to my advantage in some scenes)

oh, and the hero is ALWAYS relentlessly brave, he will NEVER stop just because he's piss scared..

oh, and never bother with spell check, your an author, and if someone thinks you misspelt a word, they're wrong, they're the one's who have been misspelling it their whole life.

[Morizawa]

hecate-athena

No one involved in a car crash, alien invasion, volcano eruption, violent battle, etc, will ever go into shock. It's just a made-up ailment invented by doctors in order to scam more money out of us.

Shock is not the only made up ailment, blood loss will also never kill a man, they just installed fake blood pumps in your appendages last time you went in for a checkup.

[kitedragon]

Always write knowing full and well that no matter what your mind somehow manages to churn out, you'll get paid either way, and all writers who write should do so for money. Who gives about one's personal opinion? It's all about making money. And if you write a fan fiction, all the better, becaues this way you may force all those fans already rallied for you to buy the books (or sheets of paper) from you.

Also, despite that fact that vampires have their vital organs destroyed once turned vampiric, they must make love with the main characters and give birth. That is, unless they're a henchmen.

[Jasper Riddle]

kitedragon

Always write knowing full and well that no matter what your mind somehow manages to churn out, you'll get paid either way, and all writers who write should do so for money. Who gives about one's personal opinion? It's all about making money. And if you write a fan fiction, all the better, becaues this way you may force all those fans already rallied for you to buy the books (or sheets of paper) from you.

Also, despite that fact that vampires have their vital organs destroyed once turned vampiric, they must make love with the main characters and give birth. That is, unless they're a henchmen.

In which case they must be killed in an overly violent fashion.

[Femily]

Never ever put your own opinions into your stories, it's not like books are some sort of voice for your thoughts! God...

When doing a death scene, always make that character reveal something important right before his/her death, it's so original.

Try your hardest to make all of your story's points obvious. Never ever make it so that the reader only get's a slight hint of what you're trying to make contact with. Really, that's just a sign of sucky writing.

Don't have the book describe things in relation to your personal life, your life can never help you with your story, or story ideas. That's just stupid.

[Jasper Riddle]

Femily

Never ever put your own opinions into your stories, it's not like books are some sort of voice for your thoughts! God...

When doing a death scene, always make that character reveal something important right before his/her death, it's so original.

Try your hardest to make all of your story's points obvious. Never ever make it so that the reader only get's a slight hint of what you're trying to make contact with. Really, that's just a sign of sucky writing.

Don't have the book describe things in relation to your personal life, your life can never help you with your story, or story ideas. That's just stupid.

in contrast, pull everything you write from your life. make the main chara just like you, only that much OMGcooler. And their life is OMGcooler too.

[Sexual Innuendo]

Be certain to perpetually and consistently use colossal and neglected words; your readers will luxuriate in having to peruse a dictionary every other periodic sentence 3nodding

[Morizawa]

glitteringcrystal

Be certain to perpetually and consistently use colossal and neglected words; your readers will luxuriate in having to peruse a dictionary every other periodic sentence 3nodding

(Actually that can be somewhat of a good thing for the readers, helps them learn new words.)

[Sexual Innuendo]

Morizawa

glitteringcrystal

Be certain to perpetually and consistently use colossal and neglected words; your readers will luxuriate in having to peruse a dictionary every other periodic sentence 3nodding

(Actually that can be somewhat of a good thing for the readers, helps them learn new words.)

It's good to use them sparingly, but not perpetually or consistently (all the time). It's not fun to search through a dictionary every 5 minutes or whatever.

[Morizawa]

glitteringcrystal

Morizawa

glitteringcrystal

Be certain to perpetually and consistently use colossal and neglected words; your readers will luxuriate in having to peruse a dictionary every other periodic sentence 3nodding

(Actually that can be somewhat of a good thing for the readers, helps them learn new words.)

It's good to use them sparingly, but not perpetually or consistently (all the time). It's not fun to search through a dictionary every 5 minutes or whatever.

True, though if your characters are not speaking in the over simplified modern english it may be necessary, such as using frigid rather than cold or whatever.

Explosions and what-not must never actually do anything to your character or anything attached to him/her such as scorching his shirt or burning the hair on the back of his neck and such because explosions are just meant to look cool, even though it's in text.

[hecate-athena]

Let's see...your main character will never show any pain, even while getting the beating of his/her life, except when someone tries to clean their wounds. They will also still be concious.