The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2292 ]
I add new things.	14.9%	[ 1951 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.6%	[ 8852 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13095 ]

[demagoguery]

I haven't posted here in a while...

Speaking as to the four elements/six elements (WHICH CANNOT BE CHANGED!!!!!!!!!!!) don't forget the races associated. Dwarves are either fire or earth, gnomes earth, fairies air, etc. There could never be a *gasp* WATER DWARF OF POWER!!!!!!!!

Humans can choose whatever they want, and your protagonist can have as many powers as they want. Make it so they have all the powers of all the elements. And don't forget, dark is evil. And if you don't have dark, fire is evil. Yes yes.

[Alea Facta Est]

Harmony_Candy

ok, this is gonna sound super-corny, but everyone needs this:

A Writer's Need List!
writers need...
*a pencil (duh!)
*some paper (duh, again)
*a thesaurus ( so that they can really put a spin on their writing)
*a dictionary (just in case they don't know what a word in the thesaurus means)
*a really descriptive and favorite book (ideas, ideas, ideas!)
*a computer (so that they can research about facts for their story/poem or whatever and for the final draft to look pretty!)

((No, no...the point is that real writers use typewriters. biggrin

Just kidding...let's face it, you need a genuine printing press.))

[demagoguery]

MinionRipley

Harmony_Candy

ok, this is gonna sound super-corny, but everyone needs this:

A Writer's Need List!
writers need...
*a pencil (duh!)
*some paper (duh, again)
*a thesaurus ( so that they can really put a spin on their writing)
*a dictionary (just in case they don't know what a word in the thesaurus means)
*a really descriptive and favorite book (ideas, ideas, ideas!)
*a computer (so that they can research about facts for their story/poem or whatever and for the final draft to look pretty!)

Actually, let me make a motion to amend that. Just slap the title off and put in "A Writer Doesn't-Need List". Get creative! Do macaroni art, use glitter & glue, and so on. This is best for sending those manuscripts you've worked, like, minutes on to publishers, who so won't mistake your superspeshull piece of art for some toddler's mess and throw it out.

You are my hero.

But even so, you seem to have forgotten the coolness of the quill. Shakespeare wrote with a quill, and even though he is nowhere near your ability level, he was pretty good. And write it with your blood. That's hyper cool.

[goldcelestial]

demagoguery

MinionRipley

Harmony_Candy

ok, this is gonna sound super-corny, but everyone needs this:

A Writer's Need List!
writers need...
*a pencil (duh!)
*some paper (duh, again)
*a thesaurus ( so that they can really put a spin on their writing)
*a dictionary (just in case they don't know what a word in the thesaurus means)
*a really descriptive and favorite book (ideas, ideas, ideas!)
*a computer (so that they can research about facts for their story/poem or whatever and for the final draft to look pretty!)

Actually, let me make a motion to amend that. Just slap the title off and put in "A Writer Doesn't-Need List". Get creative! Do macaroni art, use glitter & glue, and so on. This is best for sending those manuscripts you've worked, like, minutes on to publishers, who so won't mistake your superspeshull piece of art for some toddler's mess and throw it out.

You are my hero.

But even so, you seem to have forgotten the coolness of the quill. Shakespeare wrote with a quill, and even though he is nowhere near your ability level, he was pretty good. And write it with your blood. That's hyper cool.

and don't forget to send that copy to your editor so that they have to handle your unhygenic body fluids.
they'll love you for the priviledge.

[Minion Ripley]

demagoguery

MinionRipley

Harmony_Candy

ok, this is gonna sound super-corny, but everyone needs this:

A Writer's Need List!
writers need...
*a pencil (duh!)
*some paper (duh, again)
*a thesaurus ( so that they can really put a spin on their writing)
*a dictionary (just in case they don't know what a word in the thesaurus means)
*a really descriptive and favorite book (ideas, ideas, ideas!)
*a computer (so that they can research about facts for their story/poem or whatever and for the final draft to look pretty!)

Actually, let me make a motion to amend that. Just slap the title off and put in "A Writer Doesn't-Need List". Get creative! Do macaroni art, use glitter & glue, and so on. This is best for sending those manuscripts you've worked, like, minutes on to publishers, who so won't mistake your superspeshull piece of art for some toddler's mess and throw it out.

You are my hero.

But even so, you seem to have forgotten the coolness of the quill. Shakespeare wrote with a quill, and even though he is nowhere near your ability level, he was pretty good. And write it with your blood. That's hyper cool.

Mm'yes. That's a wonderful idea. Use that method with the blood to write those 2,000+ pages of nonsense you've been thinking about doing. No, don't worry a bit about dying or at least winding up in the hospital for that move.

[wingnut the improbable]

MinionRipley

demagoguery

MinionRipley

Harmony_Candy

ok, this is gonna sound super-corny, but everyone needs this:

A Writer's Need List!
writers need...
*a pencil (duh!)
*some paper (duh, again)
*a thesaurus ( so that they can really put a spin on their writing)
*a dictionary (just in case they don't know what a word in the thesaurus means)
*a really descriptive and favorite book (ideas, ideas, ideas!)
*a computer (so that they can research about facts for their story/poem or whatever and for the final draft to look pretty!)

Actually, let me make a motion to amend that. Just slap the title off and put in "A Writer Doesn't-Need List". Get creative! Do macaroni art, use glitter & glue, and so on. This is best for sending those manuscripts you've worked, like, minutes on to publishers, who so won't mistake your superspeshull piece of art for some toddler's mess and throw it out.

You are my hero.

But even so, you seem to have forgotten the coolness of the quill. Shakespeare wrote with a quill, and even though he is nowhere near your ability level, he was pretty good. And write it with your blood. That's hyper cool.

Mm'yes. That's a wonderful idea. Use that method with the blood to write those 2,000+ pages of nonsense you've been thinking about doing. No, don't worry a bit about dying or at least winding up in the hospital for that move.

Blood is especially good for writing your character's SuperAngsty (tm) poetry, which must be found in your book. It is never ever crappy. Never.

[Minion Ripley]

wingnut the improbable

MinionRipley

demagoguery

MinionRipley

Harmony_Candy

ok, this is gonna sound super-corny, but everyone needs this:

A Writer's Need List!
writers need...
*a pencil (duh!)
*some paper (duh, again)
*a thesaurus ( so that they can really put a spin on their writing)
*a dictionary (just in case they don't know what a word in the thesaurus means)
*a really descriptive and favorite book (ideas, ideas, ideas!)
*a computer (so that they can research about facts for their story/poem or whatever and for the final draft to look pretty!)

Actually, let me make a motion to amend that. Just slap the title off and put in "A Writer Doesn't-Need List". Get creative! Do macaroni art, use glitter & glue, and so on. This is best for sending those manuscripts you've worked, like, minutes on to publishers, who so won't mistake your superspeshull piece of art for some toddler's mess and throw it out.

You are my hero.

But even so, you seem to have forgotten the coolness of the quill. Shakespeare wrote with a quill, and even though he is nowhere near your ability level, he was pretty good. And write it with your blood. That's hyper cool.

Mm'yes. That's a wonderful idea. Use that method with the blood to write those 2,000+ pages of nonsense you've been thinking about doing. No, don't worry a bit about dying or at least winding up in the hospital for that move.

Blood is especially good for writing your character's SuperAngsty (tm) poetry, which must be found in your book. It is never ever crappy. Never.

Of course! It's like a given that you write your dark, dramatic, pain-filled, angsty poetry (a.k.a. cliche-talkin' waste of space) in blood and nothing but. It'll give your stuff a bonus +50 points to coolness, yo.

[Insecure Evil]

wingnut the improbable

Sargent_Stupid

MasterKist

All old men are wizened, grandfather-like figures, never just old men who have gone through life and lived. And they are most definitely never perverted and grope your main's scantily-clad butt out of nowhere. They also always know the correct answer for every problem. However, despite that helpful bit, remember that no people over twenty years of age are allowed in the group! After all, old people are, like, ew... and old. Nobody wants to hear about old people beyond small sentences.

And don't forget the MAGIKAL POWERS OMGOSH!

Yeah, all old men are wizards. It's like a rule or something. If they're not wizards, they must be dead. Therefore making SuperAngst (tm) material.

Yes, yes. That, or the omgultimateseersoftehuberspeshullfuture!!1! And the prophecy is always the one about how the world's going to end in two hours and that it's in the main's hands completely to save everyone.

Matter of fact, use both in doses that no normal person could ever survive.

[KiwiOfDestruction]

Take this meme:

http://memegen.net/viewmeme.pl?meme=1074790015

And use the results as the description for your heroine.

[hecate-athena]

*cackles* The percentage of OOCness my character inspired was ninety-four percent! *more evil laughter*

[Tavreynya]

I haven't been on in like a week. Stupid school... gonk So I'm going to go rather off-topic here:

Making your own language up is TEH SEZZ. If you're writing fantasy, make it the language used by ELVES because it is TEH SEZZ and so are ELVES. If you're not, just say your main character and his/her best friend speak a SECRET CODE LANGUAGE because they are SPECIAL. And the words in this language must have a one-to-one correspondence to words in English (or 1337, if that's your native tongue). English doesn't have any words that your language doesn't, but your language doesn't have any unique concepts either, because everyone is just as unimaginative as you.

And yes, languages can be Good or Evil. Good languages will sound cool, and Evil languages will sound... evil. A quick examination of phonemes should tell you exactly whether the speaker of a given language is Good, Evil, Good But Will Become Evil Later, or Evil But Will Become Good Later.

[hecate-athena]

Element control must describe the character that uses that element to a tee. All fire-wielders must be tempermental, have red hair, and hate the cold. All healers must be gentle, kind, and knowledgable. Heaven forbid you have a loud, obnocious healer.

[Alea Facta Est]

MinionRipley

wingnut the improbable

MinionRipley

demagoguery

MinionRipley

You are my hero.

But even so, you seem to have forgotten the coolness of the quill. Shakespeare wrote with a quill, and even though he is nowhere near your ability level, he was pretty good. And write it with your blood. That's hyper cool.

Mm'yes. That's a wonderful idea. Use that method with the blood to write those 2,000+ pages of nonsense you've been thinking about doing. No, don't worry a bit about dying or at least winding up in the hospital for that move.

Blood is especially good for writing your character's SuperAngsty (tm) poetry, which must be found in your book. It is never ever crappy. Never.

Of course! It's like a given that you write your dark, dramatic, pain-filled, angsty poetry (a.k.a. cliche-talkin' waste of space) in blood and nothing but. It'll give your stuff a bonus +50 points to coolness, yo.

And it must absolutely be in calligraphy that's been burned at the edges to express the torment of your soul even more clearly.

[M00NEY]

Tavreynya

I haven't been on in like a week. Stupid school... gonk So I'm going to go rather off-topic here:

Making your own language up is TEH SEZZ. If you're writing fantasy, make it the language used by ELVES because it is TEH SEZZ and so are ELVES. If you're not, just say your main character and his/her best friend speak a SECRET CODE LANGUAGE because they are SPECIAL. And the words in this language must have a one-to-one correspondence to words in English (or 1337, if that's your native tongue). English doesn't have any words that your language doesn't, but your language doesn't have any unique concepts either, because everyone is just as unimaginative as you.

And yes, languages can be Good or Evil. Good languages will sound cool, and Evil languages will sound... evil. A quick examination of phonemes should tell you exactly whether the speaker of a given language is Good, Evil, Good But Will Become Evil Later, or Evil But Will Become Good Later.

When making an Evil Language, focus on the letters k, g, v, z and other harsh sounds. Same goes for villains' names. Good Languages and names must be littered with vowels or gentle sounds, and one must never forget the apostrophe.

[Morizawa]

hecate-athena

Element control must describe the character that uses that element to a tee. All fire-wielders must be tempermental, have red hair, and hate the cold. All healers must be gentle, kind, and knowledgable. Heaven forbid you have a loud, obnocious healer.

And all water wielders must be very moody, what with how the sea can change and all; storms, hurricanes, tidal waves etc.

Oh and there must always be the cliche "Fire always beats ice" phrase thrown in between a duel of elementalists, of whom, the fire elementalist wins simply because he is fire, no matter how outclassed he is with skill level when it comes to ice, even though ice melts and becomes water which puts out fire... ice also makes anything flammable into something inflammable, so either way fire still beats ice.