Someone tell me what they think of my plot?.. Please? x.x

[Hyoku]

After a strange boy stricken by memory-loss comes into contact with the postal delivery girl; a bitter, cold girl with a bad history with people, the two actually draw closer to each other for a brief time. What seems to be friendship forming between them shatters when the boy talks of the bits and pieces to his past, which are clouded by amnesia. The two split apart on different paths, though after a few years, are brought together under the resistance-movement during the war between their two nations; Cryssa and Grendan, and end up alongside each other in the war.

After suffering losses throughout the war, the two finally draw together in love; the boy filling the girl's empty heart, and the girl piecing the boy's shattered memory back together.

I know it sounds odd, but I like how it's coming out.. To me, it sounds original.. :/ Is it?

Please, just tell me what you think.

[Eternities]

Wow, I've reread that about seven times, and I love it even more every time. It's fantastic, in my opinion. Damn good!

[demon_frey]

I like it--the relationship is original, if a bit predictable--but when there are two main characters of the opposite gender that's almost always how it turns out. The one thing I'd say, however, is that it seems as though the romance is the main plot, and a war in the background instead of the foreground might be a challenge to pull off.

Did that make sense at all? sweatdrop

[Siouxie]

I thought it sounded original and interesting/heart warming until you came to the war. I, personally, lost interest at that point.

Strange things like memory-loss and postal workers really jump out at me - they seem "real." Resistance-movements and love during war, well, don't. There are people who enjoy this sort of plot, though.

You get points for originality and a lack of Mary Sue / Gary Stu (at least, your characters don't seem to be them).

Addendum: The postal worker would seem less Mary Sue if she wasn't cold. Cold is bordering on angst and Mary Sues often angst.

[~Seishin~]

It sounds decently original - it certainly isn't horrifyingly cliche.
The only thing that I don't understand is: if the girl is cold and bitter, and the guy is severely confused due to memory loss, why do they become friends?

[LK-chan]

Oh!!!! I love it, Michael!!! It sounds very original, and very romantic ^_^;. I hope you follow up with this story!

[Hyoku]

~Seishin~

It sounds decently original - it certainly isn't horrifyingly cliche.
The only thing that I don't understand is: if the girl is cold and bitter, and the guy is severely confused due to memory loss, why do they become friends?

Okay, let me re-phrase that. Because of the boy's memory-loss, it makes him extremely naiive. This naiive curiousity pulls him to learn more about her. She, on the other hand, starts being defensive and trying to block him out of her mind. Which doesn't work. Once he finally gets her to soften, and share some things about herself they start to become friends. It's the boy's mentioning of his memories that makes her cold and jaded (am I using that word right?) again, and forces her apart from him.

There, that should be a lot easier to understand. I hope. whee

[Tatewaki]

It is rather predictable, but overall original and creative

[ChibiMarkerMan]

its pretty awsome being a writer myself though i have few suggestions so your story doesnt cliche cause ive seen great plots like this go terribly wrong first off i would say dont make her past way too sad i would say it only takes one or two horrible events to turn a person away from the world completly seconddont pass over weeks and weeks in the story at a time alot of people make that mistake making the writing seem amatuer and undetailed and i know your thinking of taking like a 10 year gap but i would give alot into those ten years pm me to talk a little more

[Bublee_Blue]

it's a little bit complicated, but the idea's great.

[Dragonbomb]

Personally I'd say be careful of how the two characters meet. How does a postal worker and an amensia struck guy meet? Personally I'd play on the postal worker part, because a dark enclosed character would not likely want to open up to a stranger. They may have to be forced to interact for a while. That's just me though. I just think if the two characters meet by some stupid coincidence I wouldn't like the story as much.

[crashandbrn]

the plot sounds pretty original, except for the overall romance (friends, split, meet again, romance...I've seen it before, but you've given it a little twist) the only conflict in my mind is this...the war. I don't know how many years you plan to keep the characters apart, but time tends to change people, and war changes people even more, is it these changes you're planning on to bring the characters together? Or could these changes eventually tear them apart??

[Kozoe]

I can't say that's its entirely original, because I've been reading and writing so long the most an artist can do is supply a twist upon the old.

The relationship sounds like a typical romance plot, except with the war as the background. I don't like the idea of the war as a background. War tends to alter people's lives completely. I don't see how its plausible for the two to get back together after a war, especially when they seemed to have a 'close but distant' relationship. If you want a conflict, I would pick a different one. Or, as weird as it sounds, have them meet and never meet again, but show how that one meeting can change their life. That would be harder to do overall, because of the subtle characterization though.

[Maline]

The war thing out at you and bites you on the nose. It comes out of nowhere, and it seems to disappear into nowhere again. If you are set on war, what exactly makes someone like that girl want to be in a resistance movement in the first place? What about the boy? Why are they there, and does th fact that there's a war aid the plot along?

If not, you might consider a different way to get them back together. I would find a chance meeting much less sudden and bumpy than the war.

[SoFarAway]

It's beautifully original.

I wish I had that kind of talent for dreaming up stories. All I can ever come up with is stuff that I see in my dreams.