Should I throw it away or work on it?

[Sansett]

As I felt the wind behind my back I imagined it to be a person and the leaves I heard rolling were its footsteps. I felt inside, a smile. For instead of the wind taking me wherever, I was the one taking the wind somewhere.


Now I know I need to work on the wording. My question is about the concept... is it too cheesy? Conceited? No good? I'm not sure. It's nothing amazing, I know. But I wanted to articulate a feeling. If the feeling is trash, then I won't bother.

[Sinann of Erin]

It's a bit short for the feelings to be articulated, especially when the wording is off.

However, I am firmly of the belief that throwing things out is rarely a good idea. Even if it's terrible, let it sit on your harddrive or box of stories or whatever you have and come back to it later with fresh eyes.

Does this make sense?

[Kita-Ysabell]

Erm, what is it? This really isn't long enough to make anything of. If you're trying to write a story and this is all you've got, you've got a long way to go before you even think of editing. If it's not something larger, if this is like, uber-micro-fiction, well, I dunno. I can't say I'm too familiar with uber-micro-fiction. There's some awkward phrasing and I kind of feel like it could use some elaboration, but like I said. It's not a thing that I do.

[Sansett]

Sinann of Erin

It's a bit short for the feelings to be articulated, especially when the wording is off.

However, I am firmly of the belief that throwing things out is rarely a good idea. Even if it's terrible, let it sit on your harddrive or box of stories or whatever you have and come back to it later with fresh eyes.

Does this make sense?

Perhaps if there's something there to work with, but I do think it's possible for something to just not good potential, if the underlying idea is bad. In order to create something of quality, I think the concept behind it needs to be.

[Sansett]

Kita-Ysabell

Erm, what is it? This really isn't long enough to make anything of. If you're trying to write a story and this is all you've got, you've got a long way to go before you even think of editing. If it's not something larger, if this is like, uber-micro-fiction, well, I dunno. I can't say I'm too familiar with uber-micro-fiction. There's some awkward phrasing and I kind of feel like it could use some elaboration, but like I said. It's not a thing that I do.

No, it's not a story. It is a note, or thought. I know the structure is off, I was asking about the idea behind it.

[Sinann of Erin]

deepforestchild

Sinann of Erin

It's a bit short for the feelings to be articulated, especially when the wording is off.

However, I am firmly of the belief that throwing things out is rarely a good idea. Even if it's terrible, let it sit on your harddrive or box of stories or whatever you have and come back to it later with fresh eyes.

Does this make sense?

Perhaps if there's something there to work with, but I do think it's possible for something to just not good potential, if the underlying idea is bad. In order to create something of quality, I think the concept behind it needs to be.

That's definitely true, but I can think of several instances where I personally or someone I knew set an idea aside and came back to it later with a bunch of ideas on how to change the plot or idea. You can change a lot more than just the writing of a work.

[Kita-Ysabell]

deepforestchild

No, it's not a story. It is a note, or thought. I know the structure is off, I was asking about the idea behind it.

Hrm. I guess I would call it a fragment. I've written those before, I think. They're usually longer, though.

Given how little you've got, here's what I'd say: if you want to work on it, it's worth working on. If you don't want to work on it, it's worth filing away until you find something you can do with it. An idea is always worth working on if you want to, and not if you don't. No one else can tell you that.

[Sansett]

Kita-Ysabell

deepforestchild

No, it's not a story. It is a note, or thought. I know the structure is off, I was asking about the idea behind it.

Hrm. I guess I would call it a fragment. I've written those before, I think. They're usually longer, though.

Given how little you've got, here's what I'd say: if you want to work on it, it's worth working on. If you don't want to work on it, it's worth filing away until you find something you can do with it. An idea is always worth working on if you want to, and not if you don't. No one else can tell you that.

In that case, do you have any suggestions for correcting the wording?

[Sinann of Erin]

deepforestchild

Kita-Ysabell

deepforestchild

No, it's not a story. It is a note, or thought. I know the structure is off, I was asking about the idea behind it.

Hrm. I guess I would call it a fragment. I've written those before, I think. They're usually longer, though.

Given how little you've got, here's what I'd say: if you want to work on it, it's worth working on. If you don't want to work on it, it's worth filing away until you find something you can do with it. An idea is always worth working on if you want to, and not if you don't. No one else can tell you that.

In that case, do you have any suggestions for correcting the wording?

That's a really hard thing to offer. Everyone has different writing styles, and different ones are appropriate for different situations and genres. Do you have any ideas on that?

[Sansett]

Sinann of Erin

deepforestchild

Kita-Ysabell

deepforestchild

No, it's not a story. It is a note, or thought. I know the structure is off, I was asking about the idea behind it.

Hrm. I guess I would call it a fragment. I've written those before, I think. They're usually longer, though.

Given how little you've got, here's what I'd say: if you want to work on it, it's worth working on. If you don't want to work on it, it's worth filing away until you find something you can do with it. An idea is always worth working on if you want to, and not if you don't. No one else can tell you that.

In that case, do you have any suggestions for correcting the wording?

That's a really hard thing to offer. Everyone has different writing styles, and different ones are appropriate for different situations and genres. Do you have any ideas on that?

I seem to have a more difficult time articulating my thoughts and feelings than I'd like to. I simply want for it to be clear and understandable, yet at the same time possess a poetic feel. I'm not a poet, though. I am an artist. So I'm not familiar with the rules.

[Sinann of Erin]

deepforestchild

Sinann of Erin

deepforestchild

Kita-Ysabell

deepforestchild

No, it's not a story. It is a note, or thought. I know the structure is off, I was asking about the idea behind it.

Hrm. I guess I would call it a fragment. I've written those before, I think. They're usually longer, though.

Given how little you've got, here's what I'd say: if you want to work on it, it's worth working on. If you don't want to work on it, it's worth filing away until you find something you can do with it. An idea is always worth working on if you want to, and not if you don't. No one else can tell you that.

In that case, do you have any suggestions for correcting the wording?

That's a really hard thing to offer. Everyone has different writing styles, and different ones are appropriate for different situations and genres. Do you have any ideas on that?

I seem to have a more difficult time articulating my thoughts and feelings than I'd like to. I simply want for it to be clear and understandable, yet at the same time possess a poetic feel. I'm not a poet, though. I am an artist. So I'm not familiar with the rules.

There aren't really any hard and fast rules for any art, let alone poetry. Sometimes things just...sound good.
Suggestion: Grab a thesaurus and make sure your wording is very precise.

[Kita-Ysabell]

I think I'd work on sentence construction before wording. Heads up for rainbow edits!

deepforestchild

As I sensed the wind behind my back, I imagined it to be a person and the leaves I heard rolling to be their footsteps. I felt that instead of the wind taking me everywhere, I was the one taking the wind somewhere. I smiled.

#1: Consistency and parallelism. If you start with "I imagined" you can't go straight into a metaphor without warning. If there's an "and" between two clauses, the verbs need to be in the same tense. If you're comparing two things and end both with a "where" it sounds better if the "where" word follows the same pattern.

#2: Commas. Know where you need them, know where you don't. Don't substitute a period for a comma. Don't have a parenthetical phrase without the proper comma(s). Don't start a sentence with "for".

#3: Miscellaneous gripes. I kind of get what you mean by feeling a smile inside, but holy cow does that feel awkward for some reason. And when you feel like smiling, you're usually smiling. So either come up with a new way of expressing that idea, or just smile on the outside. And I wouldn't use the impersonal "its" for a person when contrasting the wind with a person. Actually I just wouldn't use "it" for a person. It's impersonal.

#4: Making it longer. Hang out with wind-person for a while. Who is this person? What are they doing? Why are they following you? And then maybe come up with a way for it to lead logically to the second sentence. Right now it's just two ideas, possibly connected in time. But there's no other connection. Make one.

I kind of can't help with wording. Words, for me, are too close to the ideas they express. I can clean things up, but anything more and it won't be your work, it'll be mine.

[Sinann of Erin]

Kita-Ysabell

I think I'd work on sentence construction before wording. Heads up for rainbow edits!

deepforestchild

As I sensed the wind behind my back, I imagined it to be a person and the leaves I heard rolling to be their footsteps. I felt that instead of the wind taking me everywhere, I was the one taking the wind somewhere. I smiled.

#1: Consistency and parallelism. If you start with "I imagined" you can't go straight into a metaphor without warning. If there's an "and" between two clauses, the verbs need to be in the same tense. If you're comparing two things and end both with a "where" it sounds better if the "where" word follows the same pattern.

#2: Commas. Know where you need them, know where you don't. Don't substitute a period for a comma. Don't have a parenthetical phrase without the proper comma(s). Don't start a sentence with "for".

#3: Miscellaneous gripes. I kind of get what you mean by feeling a smile inside, but holy cow does that feel awkward for some reason. And when you feel like smiling, you're usually smiling. So either come up with a new way of expressing that idea, or just smile on the outside. And I wouldn't use the impersonal "its" for a person when contrasting the wind with a person. Actually I just wouldn't use "it" for a person. It's impersonal.

#4: Making it longer. Hang out with wind-person for a while. Who is this person? What are they doing? Why are they following you? And then maybe come up with a way for it to lead logically to the second sentence. Right now it's just two ideas, possibly connected in time. But there's no other connection. Make one.

I kind of can't help with wording. Words, for me, are too close to the ideas they express. I can clean things up, but anything more and it won't be your work, it'll be mine.

I was leaving that alone not because it was right, but because I figured in poetry that kind of thing is more fluid.

If it's prose, though, you're dead on.

[Cogent Dream]

This is not detailed enough to be a concept. But you have identified a problem of yours, you really need to work on your wording. It doesn't matter what you're writing, if the writing itself is bad you can make a million dollar concept into a terrible story.

[muller-brockmann]

i think it's nice. hold onto it, save it in a file, and i bet at some point it will be perfect for a story you're writing at the time, maybe a scene where someone walks to clear their head..
i dunno.