Question

[garbage ghoul]

What exactly does it mean to "get the male/female mind right?" Like, say you're a male writing a female character but someone complains to you that "that's not how girls think." How is that not generalizing the sexes? I am honestly stumped. Please explain, if you can.

[I_Write_Ivre]

That is definitely generalizing the sexes. Even biological stereotypes aren't always accurate; some women are better than some men at spatial problems or 'hunt' the way men do (these days that means shopping).

If someone says that, ask them for proof (there's a documentary on this, I think by NatGeo, but I could be wrong).

Heck, you seem to know the difference between biology and culture.

[Sinster InkPen]

It is generalizing about sexes unless they are specific as to why. Women can think just like men and vice versa. Getting into a male/female's head just means (to me) knowing enough of how the opposite sex might think and carry on with how your character thought process is. If characters aren't cardboard cut-out Mary Sues, neither are their thoughts.

[garbage ghoul]

I_Write_Ivre

Alright. thanks for your input. I see that issue sometimes and was just wondering what more experienced writers thought. Because it seems to be something that certain people have trouble with reading, a female writer writing a male character or vice versa because the character doesn't "react how a dude/chick normally would in x situation." or "Those aren't the sorts of thoughts/worries/goals a dude/chick would have," etc.

[garbage ghoul]

SinsterMistressButterfly

It is generalizing about sexes unless they are specific as to why. Women can think just like men and vice versa. Getting into a male/female's head just means (to me) knowing enough of how the opposite sex might think and carry on with how your character thought process is. If characters aren't cardboard cut-out Mary Sues, neither are their thoughts.

Okay, so how are female/male thought processes different, and how would that effect how you write them?

edit: You mean like psychology?

[I_Write_Ivre]

Turtle Suicide

I_Write_Ivre

Alright. thanks for your input. I see that issue sometimes and was just wondering what more experienced writers thought. Because it seems to be something that certain people have trouble with reading, a female writer writing a male character or vice versa because the character doesn't "react how a dude/chick normally would in x situation." or "Those aren't the sorts of thoughts/worries/goals a dude/chick would have," etc.

It doesn't matter how a dude/chick acts but how your character acts. Do their thoughts make sense for their situation? Gender and sex might affect this, but not always and not immensely.

Main differences are a) women see colors better and can differentiate shades better, especially reds, b) men tend to be better at spatial problems, c) women tend to be better at language d) men hunt specifically, while women all over (shopping, flirting, etc these days). Most of these are determined by prenatal testosterone levels, which makes your pointer finger longer and match your index finger; it is extremely rare for the testosterone to affect the biological appearance of sexual orientation of the child.

[garbage ghoul]

I_Write_Ivre

Turtle Suicide

I_Write_Ivre

Alright. thanks for your input. I see that issue sometimes and was just wondering what more experienced writers thought. Because it seems to be something that certain people have trouble with reading, a female writer writing a male character or vice versa because the character doesn't "react how a dude/chick normally would in x situation." or "Those aren't the sorts of thoughts/worries/goals a dude/chick would have," etc.

It doesn't matter how a dude/chick acts but how your character acts. Do their thoughts make sense for their situation? Gender and sex might affect this, but not always and not immensely.

Main differences are a) women see colors better and can differentiate shades better, especially reds, b) men tend to be better at spatial problems, c) women tend to be better at language d) men hunt specifically, while women all over (shopping, flirting, etc these days). Most of these are determined by prenatal testosterone levels, which makes your pointer finger longer and match your index finger; it is extremely rare for the testosterone to affect the biological appearance of sexual orientation of the child.

Ah. Okay. I think I get it. People tend to use that excuse to be sexist in some situations, and that's sort of what prompted that question.

[I_Write_Ivre]

Turtle Suicide

I_Write_Ivre

Turtle Suicide

I_Write_Ivre

Alright. thanks for your input. I see that issue sometimes and was just wondering what more experienced writers thought. Because it seems to be something that certain people have trouble with reading, a female writer writing a male character or vice versa because the character doesn't "react how a dude/chick normally would in x situation." or "Those aren't the sorts of thoughts/worries/goals a dude/chick would have," etc.

It doesn't matter how a dude/chick acts but how your character acts. Do their thoughts make sense for their situation? Gender and sex might affect this, but not always and not immensely.

Main differences are a) women see colors better and can differentiate shades better, especially reds, b) men tend to be better at spatial problems, c) women tend to be better at language d) men hunt specifically, while women all over (shopping, flirting, etc these days). Most of these are determined by prenatal testosterone levels, which makes your pointer finger longer and match your index finger; it is extremely rare for the testosterone to affect the biological appearance of sexual orientation of the child.

Ah. Okay. I think I get it. People tend to use that excuse to be sexist in some situations, and that's sort of what prompted that question.

Again, I ask them to prove all women everywhere do whatever they have problems with.

[Nanaran]

I'd say not to worry about such things unless your story specifically calls for it. From personal experience, I know people who are concerned with such things in their writing because "that's how things are supposed to be" and end up with gender stereotypes and cliches. e.g., "heroic male character saves designated love interest who didn't have feeling for him before, but is now in love with him because she realizes how strong his feelings are".

I can tell you as a women that just because if one of my close male friends were to save me, I wouldn't fall in love with him, and while gracious, if that's what they expected I'd be annoyed.

It just depends on what you're writing. Assess that first and then consider what, if any, gender specific qualities are required and why.

[Sinster InkPen]

Turtle Suicide

Okay, so how are female/male thought processes different, and how would that effect how you write them?

edit: You mean like psychology?

A little bit of psychology, yes. I'm not a major it, so I can't be detailed in it. sweatdrop

To answer your first question, it varies on each individual. I can't compare the mind of a male mathematician to a guy who always gets hammered in the bar after a shitty day at work and never graduated college. Yes both are guys, but both wouldn't think or worry about the same thing in the same manner. Same goes with women. Sure those are two extremes (the male examples) but not everyone is gonna think the same. Everyone grows up differently, has different moral values, and think a certain way.

Yes some people do grow up in similar environments, and can relate but not everyone.

I don't think the same as some of my girlfriends. I'm more career oriented than looking for a partner (trust me, every time I look on their FBs I swear they're hooking up or breaking up -.-). They also look at me a little odd when I start talking about mythology, but I do the same when they start babbling about some pop star or gossiping on celebs.

I write my male/female characters based on their backgrounds (education, family, profession, etc) and morals. Generalizing the sex is fine to get the gist, but that's not how people think all the time. Not every guy is gonna think of having sex every time they're sexually attracted to a partner, and not every woman is wearing a chastity belt or going to refuse a 'good time'. As a writer, it's our jobs to know what's going on in our characters heads and present that to readers. But you also have to stay true to the story, generalizing will just make your characters may make them seem more relatable but they may come as flat.

sweatdrop Hopefully that makes sense...

[I_Write_Ivre]

Nanaran

"heroic male character saves designated love interest who didn't have feeling for him before, but is now in love with him because she realizes how strong his feelings are".

I can see these as historically convenient marriages (love is optional), but I hate them as people always argue men wouldn't do the same if rescued by a woman.

[bara is love bara is life]

Here's a tip. Don't worry about portraying something inaccurate to whatever role they fit into, or whatever. Don't worry about being called sexist. Don't worry about any of that s**t. Write your characters, let them take the form they take and develop them. They'll come into their own the more you play around with them and really understand what they need to be in whatever they're in.

Just let the character happen.

[marshmallowcreampie]

Echoing everyone else, yeah, men and women are individuals. Biology tends to give men and women different traits, but it's not usually universal. And culture plays a huge part in how people think and develop, so the line between genders isn't really as thick and clear as people think it is. Even if men tend to be physically stronger on average, that doesn't prevent the woman from becoming a warrior. Women tend to be more flexible, but that doesn't prevent the man from becoming a gymnast. Culture generally affects what people choose to do or how they express themselves, but there are always people who rebel and think and act differently.

[Klaark]

Turtle Suicide

What exactly does it mean to "get the male/female mind right?" Like, say you're a male writing a female character but someone complains to you that "that's not how girls think." How is that not generalizing the sexes? I am honestly stumped. Please explain, if you can.

Some folk just really, really feel the need to say something so they say dumb s**t like that. Unless you got a dude worrying about his late period, you should be fine.

[garbage ghoul]

Thanks, you guys. I'll take what all of you said into consideration.