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Problems with Tyeisas....
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Post: 40037975_1 created on Wed Apr 30, 2008 2:16 amPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 2:16 am
I recently turned in a story to a teacher for critique and got a very good grade, but some comments about problems with a concept I came up with which was namely, Tyeisas. They are tiny crystals which form in a person's heart as they mature, and interface with the person via the bloodstream. By their connection, they can do such things as boost strength, place avatars of themselves in their 'host's' brain, and concentrate pure energy. My teacher felt that this introduced a limitless element into the story which deprived the reader of any suspense. He felt that suspense was built by limited possiblity, and a choice between those limits. I need more input on this.
 
     
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Post: 40037975_2 created on Wed Apr 30, 2008 2:26 amPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 2:26 am
     
 
I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?" No


I like it. It may lack suspense, but there is a very large possibility for an entire series with that concept.

Of course, I don't take well to formal teaching...so maybe that's just me.

It's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
     

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Post: 40037975_3 created on Wed Apr 30, 2008 2:31 amPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 2:31 am
I don't know if it's limitless.

Depending on the stage of maturity effects how many of the crystals there are, right? So younger individuals are probably weaker then older ones.

There could also be concentration on crystal purity... perhaps there's a drug that can increase the amount of the crystal, but it dimishes the purity? And maybe some people don't have as much as others, for whatever reason. Heart surgery and heart disease may effect this, or blood tranfusions.

There are a thousand variables you can take into account if you really want to or need to.
 
     
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Post: 40037975_4 created on Wed Apr 30, 2008 2:56 amPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 2:56 am
 
Even if the possibilities are limitless, the sudden limit of the character's possibilities might be where the suspense comes from.
     
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Post: 40037975_5 created on Wed Apr 30, 2008 3:56 amPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 3:56 am
I think this may have to deal with making a character being able to do anything with those crystals without any weaknesses or consequences. It is a very cool idea. Maybe your teacher is looking for some sort of antagonist to the people with powers. (Wither the crystals make them or for people hating the powerful beings. It can be anything.)


Also, you do not need a lot of suspension. Some great stories don't have a lot of suspension, they have plot twists. Something that surprises the readers.
 
     
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Post: 40037975_6 created on Mon May 12, 2008 6:02 amPosted: Mon May 12, 2008 6:02 am
 
Thanks for the vocals, guys. On the matters of antagonists, the tyeisa itself, its 'species' is the biggest enemy of the tyeisa. It can be good, or evil, and only by the life and experience of the host. Tyeisas don't have unlimited power, but have access to a kind of power that cannot even begin to occur in their host naturally. Just like people have to exercise to build muscle, tyeisas have their own way of exercising their power to build it, and must specialize their power to have any power of great standing. I'm glad this concept interested you.
     
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Post: 40037975_7 created on Mon May 12, 2008 11:37 amPosted: Mon May 12, 2008 11:37 am
Question: Does your teacher read a lot of fantasy?

The powers you describe don't strike me as unlimited or overpowering. So the tyeisas are stronger physically than ordinary people? There are a lot of ways to get around physical strength, including a simple bullet or arrow in the chest. And depending on how you write the crystal's avatar, it could be an asset or a liability. The energy-concentration ability is more powerful, but no more so than the abilities of any mage-type - I'm betting that Harry Potter is more powerful - and once again isn't useful against more subtle threats such as disease or poison or a knife in the back. Nor will any of this protect them from emotional damage - threats against loved ones, feelings of alienation, moral uncertainty.

Your teacher is saying that you've introduced an unlimited element, and it's true that these are usually - though not always - detrimental. However, in fantasy there are a number of ways to place limits on the abilities of magic-users. You can play up the ability's blind spots, areas in which the abilities are useless. You can shift the focus to emotional rather than physical vulnerability. Or you can make sure that there are enough people running around with similar abilities that they limit each other.

End result - if you write well, that sort of power doesn't have to reduce suspense.
 
     


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Post: 40037975_8 created on Mon May 12, 2008 12:28 pmPosted: Mon May 12, 2008 12:28 pm
 
I think what he means is that there is no challenge to the character.
He seems to have the idea that the characters are supremely powerful, (something your summary suggests but does not say explicitly). If a character is too powerful, there is no challenge to him. Any difficulties are overcome quickly and easily and the story buckets along without any real achivement by anyone.
If the characters are unlimited and can do anything then when they are faced with a problem, they will always be able to overcome it easliy, without ever having to choose the more difficult or painful option. If the reader knows or realises that the characters can do this, there will be no need to ask 'Will they survive?' because the characters can't lose. Suspense is lost.
     

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Post: 40037975_9 created on Mon May 12, 2008 12:58 pmPosted: Mon May 12, 2008 12:58 pm
sounds like your teacher was attempting to tell you, in a polite fashion, that the whole "crystal" thing is a rather goofy element that leads you, the writer, away from what really matters in a story: the human condition.
 
     
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Post: 40037975_10 created on Mon May 12, 2008 1:53 pmPosted: Mon May 12, 2008 1:53 pm
 
"MajKai Nis uncensored"
sounds like your teacher was attempting to tell you, in a polite fashion, that the whole "crystal" thing is a rather goofy element that leads you, the writer, away from what really matters in a story: the human condition.

I would agree, except that it seems like these crystals could be used to add a new element to the human condition. This is just a regular old plot device that could conceivably (with effort) lead the story into an interesting exploration of humankind in all it's disappointing glory.
     
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Post: 40037975_11 created on Tue May 13, 2008 12:56 amPosted: Tue May 13, 2008 12:56 am
Put some limits on what the crystals can do.

Problem solved.
 
     
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Post: 40037975_12 created on Sun Jun 15, 2008 7:30 pmPosted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 7:30 pm
 
Thanks much, guys. I got the thing all sorted, out, and really appreciate all your input.
     
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