Welcome to Gaia :: Problems with Tyeisas....

Log In

Forgot your login?

Sign Up

Register
 
GST
Tags: problems  with  tyeisas 
Export this topic to other sites using WildFire!
forum:15, topic:40037975
I recently turned in a story to a teacher for critique and got a very good grade, but some comments about problems with a concept I came up with which was namely, Tyeisas. They are tiny crystals which form in a person's heart as they mature, and interface with the person via the bloodstream. By their connection, they can do such things as boost strength, place avatars of themselves in their 'host's' brain, and concentrate pure energy. My teacher felt that this introduced a limitless element into the story which deprived the reader of any suspense. He felt that suspense was built by limited possiblity, and a choice between those limits. I need more input on this.
 
     
     
 
I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?" No


I like it. It may lack suspense, but there is a very large possibility for an entire series with that concept.

Of course, I don't take well to formal teaching...so maybe that's just me.

It's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
     

Writing 28 books
~
Call me D.N.
I'm an erotica author.
~
c** creampies ftw.
27.655..75.000 (36.87%)
~
I am also a paid proofreader of Freya's Bower and Wild Child Publishing.
~
Don't like me? Well, s**t. I don't care.

I don't know if it's limitless.

Depending on the stage of maturity effects how many of the crystals there are, right? So younger individuals are probably weaker then older ones.

There could also be concentration on crystal purity... perhaps there's a drug that can increase the amount of the crystal, but it dimishes the purity? And maybe some people don't have as much as others, for whatever reason. Heart surgery and heart disease may effect this, or blood tranfusions.

There are a thousand variables you can take into account if you really want to or need to.
 
     
 
Even if the possibilities are limitless, the sudden limit of the character's possibilities might be where the suspense comes from.
     
Sometimes, in the end, you just gotta let it be.

I think this may have to deal with making a character being able to do anything with those crystals without any weaknesses or consequences. It is a very cool idea. Maybe your teacher is looking for some sort of antagonist to the people with powers. (Wither the crystals make them or for people hating the powerful beings. It can be anything.)


Also, you do not need a lot of suspension. Some great stories don't have a lot of suspension, they have plot twists. Something that surprises the readers.
 
     
"My writing isn't just words. It's my soul." - Me

"The ideas are endless. The limit is your imagination." - Me!
 
Thanks for the vocals, guys. On the matters of antagonists, the tyeisa itself, its 'species' is the biggest enemy of the tyeisa. It can be good, or evil, and only by the life and experience of the host. Tyeisas don't have unlimited power, but have access to a kind of power that cannot even begin to occur in their host naturally. Just like people have to exercise to build muscle, tyeisas have their own way of exercising their power to build it, and must specialize their power to have any power of great standing. I'm glad this concept interested you.
     
Question: Does your teacher read a lot of fantasy?

The powers you describe don't strike me as unlimited or overpowering. So the tyeisas are stronger physically than ordinary people? There are a lot of ways to get around physical strength, including a simple bullet or arrow in the chest. And depending on how you write the crystal's avatar, it could be an asset or a liability. The energy-concentration ability is more powerful, but no more so than the abilities of any mage-type - I'm betting that Harry Potter is more powerful - and once again isn't useful against more subtle threats such as disease or poison or a knife in the back. Nor will any of this protect them from emotional damage - threats against loved ones, feelings of alienation, moral uncertainty.

Your teacher is saying that you've introduced an unlimited element, and it's true that these are usually - though not always - detrimental. However, in fantasy there are a number of ways to place limits on the abilities of magic-users. You can play up the ability's blind spots, areas in which the abilities are useless. You can shift the focus to emotional rather than physical vulnerability. Or you can make sure that there are enough people running around with similar abilities that they limit each other.

End result - if you write well, that sort of power doesn't have to reduce suspense.
 
     


The bat's name is Lysander.
 
I think what he means is that there is no challenge to the character.
He seems to have the idea that the characters are supremely powerful, (something your summary suggests but does not say explicitly). If a character is too powerful, there is no challenge to him. Any difficulties are overcome quickly and easily and the story buckets along without any real achivement by anyone.
If the characters are unlimited and can do anything then when they are faced with a problem, they will always be able to overcome it easliy, without ever having to choose the more difficult or painful option. If the reader knows or realises that the characters can do this, there will be no need to ask 'Will they survive?' because the characters can't lose. Suspense is lost.
     

It clicks the link before it makes daft comments.
sounds like your teacher was attempting to tell you, in a polite fashion, that the whole "crystal" thing is a rather goofy element that leads you, the writer, away from what really matters in a story: the human condition.
 
     
 
"MajKai Nis uncensored"
sounds like your teacher was attempting to tell you, in a polite fashion, that the whole "crystal" thing is a rather goofy element that leads you, the writer, away from what really matters in a story: the human condition.

I would agree, except that it seems like these crystals could be used to add a new element to the human condition. This is just a regular old plot device that could conceivably (with effort) lead the story into an interesting exploration of humankind in all it's disappointing glory.
     
I'm the hottest male zombie in Gaia (true until proven false).

http://img292.imageshack.us/img292/9849/questmr1.gif
Put some limits on what the crystals can do.

Problem solved.
 
     
 
Thanks much, guys. I got the thing all sorted, out, and really appreciate all your input.