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Desi the fuzzy fluffhead's avatar

Tipsy Prophet

@PMS: I hate writing synopsis's, I never feel like I can get all the things that need to be gotten in a summery.l

@Madness:
We'd have to know more about the story yo help you with whether or not you should take out the vampire aspect but generally, it'd be a bad idea to remove that kind of aspect. May people who read vampire stories or stories that involve vampires read it for the vampire in the story.


And you shouldn't compare yourself to your friend.
Your writing is about your writing and not hers. Her improvement and yours are also two different things. But yeah, it's difficult to get people to read your stuff if you just don't know as many people, online or off.
If you're talking about gaia or any websites then you should do some critiquing first and then people will critque back.


Progress:
I think I'm getting back into the swings of things. Went back to re-edit chapter two. These damn tense things mess me up. xp
I know when you mean about tenses. I'm trying to write a first-person past story at the same time I'm editing a first-person present. Talk about confusing.

My toothache has gone away, which is great since it was making it hard for me to concentrate on my writing. Bad news is that I need to have oral surgery to remove my last wisdom tooth. I don't have insurance, which is why I never got around to having it removed before this, and I'm not looking forward to the bill. crying

Progress:
Even with my mouth throbbing, I managed to hammer out my 500 words per day. I also wrote a short story that might be considered fan-fiction. Is it possible for an author to write fanfic about their own books? I still have that one last scene to re-write in my manuscript, and I'm still without a title. Blarg.
Da Flea's avatar

Feral Lunatic

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Blah. Forgive me for not going back and responding to other posts. I've had a headache all day and wrote like 60 words or something. I think the story has hit the slowdown point, where all the easy pieces are done and I have to work at filling in the rest.

There's also trouble because the story takes place over a schoolyear, which is a lot of character development to fit in. I'm having to skip over an awful lot... *sigh*
Desi the fuzzy fluffhead's avatar

Tipsy Prophet

@Edward:
Painful! For the wallet and the face, I hope it works out and you win the lotto or something.
It's great that you kept your goal though, I'm not sure I would and could.

I write in first person past tense.
And I am just so confused.
So, if my character describes something and it's not going to change, does he say it in present tense or past tense.
For example:
Quote:

She's cheated on me, I'm pretty sure I've cheated on her...

Or
Quote:

She's cheated on me, I was pretty sure I've cheated on her...


I have two betas and each of them says different ones of these are wrongs. I'm leaning towards the top one is right but...ugh.


@Da Flea:
Don't worry about it, I don't even remember past posts. sweatdrop
Tons can happen over a school year.
Each grade is so different...I guess that includes the summer doesn't it?
I just had a weird dream about the last day of school...my teachers were in it, and it was just really weird...it made me a little teary eyed.

60 words is still 60 words. I've never had that slow down moment, but mysteries tend to be kind of slow anyways....


PROGRESS:
Nada on the writing, but a pastel "painting" of my cat is going to be in the Smith and Westerns Art show? I can't remember what it's called but it's going to be there.....
Hmm...That's a tricky one, Desi. I don't know. I would almost rather write it:
Quote:
She'd cheated on me, I was pretty sure I'd cheated on her...


But I don't know the surrounding context so that may not fit at all.

Congrats on the art show. That's awesome.
Da Flea's avatar

Feral Lunatic

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It starts right before she heads to college and ends just as she's going home for the summer. But it's basically a story of the first batch of students going into a desegregated college, so there's the general atmosphere and attitudes to cover, plus there's a romance that forms. This is what I get for not thinking things through before I started. I just had a very basic idea and started tossing in characters to flesh it out, like various professors and students. Now I feel like I need to spend more time on all those loose ends.

But I'm not sure I want to bother making the story into a short novella. This wasn't really a 'serious' project, just a 'stay in practice' type of thing...


The first sentence is right, except for the comma splice. XD The 'I am' puts his thought in present tense, while he's referring to things that have happened previously.
EDIT: So Flea is an idiot who shouldn't answer questions late at night when she has a headache. XD I thought you said you were writing in 1st person present. Ed's version is correct for past tense. (Which I would've realized last night if I'd actually seen his post above mine. Oi, headaches. sweatdrop )

Smith & Wesson? As in the rifle company? I didn't know they did art shows. o_o;
Psychotic Maniacal Sanity's avatar

Dapper Fatcat

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Desi: Normally I dislike writing them too, but this time it helped me to get a few things straight in my head, so it worked out pretty well. =3

Flea: Did you headache go away?
Da Flea's avatar

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PMS: It did, eventually. I couldn't sleep with it, so I caved in and took half an Advil Cold & Sinus.
Psychotic Maniacal Sanity's avatar

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I have a headache tonight. A really bad one. D=

I was trying to revise, but I've given up now.
I guess I'll join the party.

I'm actually writing again now after a break where I only did school work. Two more weeks of school and then I'm free for the summer, where I will actually have time to write. I hope to get at least 30k more words before fall, so even if it's still not complete, I have a better understanding of what else it needs.
Da Flea's avatar

Feral Lunatic

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PMS: Ohnoes. My headache's gone viral! D=

So today I did some basic editing and wrote a new paragraph, then my computer crashed and the autobackups didn't work, so I got to redo the same editing and paragraph. =/
Desi the fuzzy fluffhead's avatar

Tipsy Prophet

Hey Cannibalistic Vegetarian =]
I have almost two months left of school. Are you planning on doing the SuWriMos?
Or whatever they're called. Good Luck on the 30K


@Da Flea: That's okay.
Glad your headache is gone and sorry about having to re-edit.
I'm constantly re-editing because I always mix up which file I have edited and which one I haven't. Clever that is not.

@Edward: Thanks.
It's just the tense thing, won't he always think it so wouldn't it be in present tense?

@PMS:
Sometimes it's best just to relax.



My Progress:
I got two pages typed up this morning for my book 2, but I came home fell asleep so, nothing else. I plan on editing tonight, hopefully getting through chapter five.
@Desi:
I'm not sure. I never really liked studying grammar in school.
I think that if it's something he says or something he thinks:
Quote:
"I'm pretty sure I cheated on her," I said.
I'm pretty sure I cheated on her, I thought to myself.

then it's in present, but if it's part of the narrative, then it should be past.
I'm not certain, though. Good luck with it.



Progress:
I finished the re-writes to my manuscript. So all it needs now is that damn title.
I'm trying to find something that fits the theme of "painful memories" or "false assumptions" because there's a lot of both in this book, but my vocabulary is failing me. sweatdrop
Desi the fuzzy fluffhead's avatar

Tipsy Prophet

@Edward:
Congratz for finishing the re-write.

False Memories

Maybe, no. I'm horrible at naming things.

I'm just going to read a few first person books and see how they do it.
Hopefully someone knows how to do this tense thing.


PROGRESS:
Edited first few pages and I have to splice in a scene that I had wrote earlier that I had set aside.
I have no idea where it needs to go, but it needs to go somewhere in the early chapters.
Da Flea's avatar

Feral Lunatic

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Everything revolves around the tense that your character is living in. So his thinking is taking place in the past tense and the events he's thinking about took place in his past. It's irrelevant how long he will think it for. When I say "I thought George Washington was the first president" it doesn't matter that he will always be the first or that I will always think that. What matters is that he was and I, in a past tense story, thought it.

It is possible to say "I would always think that G.W. was the first president" but a structure like that is unnecessary and awkward most of the time.

Does that make sense? I'm headache free, so I hope to Goat I'm right this time. XD


Edit: I'm developing a bad habit of sending posts only to see another one has snuck in above me. XP

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