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forum:15, topic:4803263
I... think I'm stuck.

1. Mr. BT has been kidnapped.

2. His kidnappers have made a not-ransom movie which was broadcast to the nation.

3. They then relocated Mr. BT to a place miles and miles away from where the movie was created.

4. The thing is, they have relocated Mr. BT to a place that he finds frighteningly familiar -- he's been there before.


Thing is, I'm having trouble coming up what this frighteningly familiar place was. He has to have been there many times before, though. And I'm completely stumped. It can't be a childhood home or anything, it has to be something familiar but in a cold, professional manner.
 
     
 
Hi, I'm JesusIsGood (J.I.G),

I've been "writing" for years and yet I've NEVER finished a story. I think they get to dramatic and unlifelike towards the middle. How do you keep things realish enough to be a good story and yet dramatic enuogh to be interesting?

Sincerly,

J.I.G
     

"Brodie Asturias"
I... think I'm stuck.

1. Mr. BT has been kidnapped.

2. His kidnappers have made a not-ransom movie which was broadcast to the nation.

3. They then relocated Mr. BT to a place miles and miles away from where the movie was created.

4. The thing is, they have relocated Mr. BT to a place that he finds frighteningly familiar -- he's been there before.


Thing is, I'm having trouble coming up what this frighteningly familiar place was. He has to have been there many times before, though. And I'm completely stumped. It can't be a childhood home or anything, it has to be something familiar but in a cold, professional manner.
If you want it to be familiar in a "cold, professional manner," try thinking abut the professional aspect of Mr. BT's life. What did/does he do for a living? It could be a now-abandoned office, warehouse (though that may be cliche), some other place of business, etc. Or perhaps a parent took him to work often as a child?
 
     
Formerly Atropos Kay.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
http://s.buzzfeed.com/static/imagebuzz/web02/2008/9/12/17/52d9e2c269bfba8ae56c587258874b5d.jpg

ED Mod assistant.
 
"Atropos Kay"
"Brodie Asturias"
I... think I'm stuck.

1. Mr. BT has been kidnapped.

2. His kidnappers have made a not-ransom movie which was broadcast to the nation.

3. They then relocated Mr. BT to a place miles and miles away from where the movie was created.

4. The thing is, they have relocated Mr. BT to a place that he finds frighteningly familiar -- he's been there before.


Thing is, I'm having trouble coming up what this frighteningly familiar place was. He has to have been there many times before, though. And I'm completely stumped. It can't be a childhood home or anything, it has to be something familiar but in a cold, professional manner.
If you want it to be familiar in a "cold, professional manner," try thinking abut the professional aspect of Mr. BT's life. What did/does he do for a living? It could be a now-abandoned office, warehouse (though that may be cliche), some other place of business, etc. Or perhaps a parent took him to work often as a child?

BT is a high-powered businessman. However, he doesn't like his job at all and he's tried just about every dangerous sport there is out there. He could almost literally be anywhere, but I was leaning towards the AFB where he learned to fly.

Oh, and Mr. BT has a brain tumour with 3-6 weeks to live. Which is why I've called him BT here.

BT=Brain Tumour.
     
"Brodie Asturias"
"Atropos Kay"
"Brodie Asturias"
I... think I'm stuck.

1. Mr. BT has been kidnapped.

2. His kidnappers have made a not-ransom movie which was broadcast to the nation.

3. They then relocated Mr. BT to a place miles and miles away from where the movie was created.

4. The thing is, they have relocated Mr. BT to a place that he finds frighteningly familiar -- he's been there before.


Thing is, I'm having trouble coming up what this frighteningly familiar place was. He has to have been there many times before, though. And I'm completely stumped. It can't be a childhood home or anything, it has to be something familiar but in a cold, professional manner.
If you want it to be familiar in a "cold, professional manner," try thinking abut the professional aspect of Mr. BT's life. What did/does he do for a living? It could be a now-abandoned office, warehouse (though that may be cliche), some other place of business, etc. Or perhaps a parent took him to work often as a child?

BT is a high-powered businessman. However, he doesn't like his job at all and he's tried just about every dangerous sport there is out there. He could almost literally be anywhere, but I was leaning towards the AFB where he learned to fly.

Oh, and Mr. BT has a brain tumour with 3-6 weeks to live. Which is why I've called him BT here.

BT=Brain Tumour.
Sounds good. What about an old office building of his, maybe a place where some business deal went wrong, where he got fired once, etc? That event and the fact that he hates his profession could be enough to create the environment you want for your character. OR, you could make the hospital where he was diagnosed now abandoned, and hold him hostage there?
 
     
Formerly Atropos Kay.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
http://s.buzzfeed.com/static/imagebuzz/web02/2008/9/12/17/52d9e2c269bfba8ae56c587258874b5d.jpg

ED Mod assistant.
 
hey thanks for some of the websites.
     
This is a mechanics question. I'm sorry if it doesn't quite fit but I didn't know where else to ask this.

Well I just received my first-ever beta'd chapter...I've already had to admit that I don't use as many commas as I should, especially where compound sentences are concerned but now I have another issue.

I'm not a big user of the word "that." That is to say I don't use it frequently in such contexts as: say that, thought that, felt that, understood that, etc.

Is this stylistically acceptable or simply grammatically incorrect? I hate admitting I'm wrong, but I'd rather fix a mistake than continue to be in the wrong.
 
     
 
It depends on the context, (However, if it's dialogue, it's perfectly fine! =D) It can go either way. It's not wrong per se, but using 'that' in too many, (or completely wrong) instances can diminish the quality of your work. It's okay sometimes, just dont do it repeatedly.
     
ItaSaku...

My OTP.


"FascinationMaxx"
It depends on the context, (However, if it's dialogue, it's perfectly fine! =D) It can go either way. It's not wrong per se, but using 'that' in too many, (or completely wrong) instances can diminish the quality of your work. It's okay sometimes, just dont do it repeatedly.


I think you miunderstand: I don't use that.

Does this mean I should be wary of where I accept the use of 'that'?
 
     
 
"Lycaon_Saer"
"FascinationMaxx"
It depends on the context, (However, if it's dialogue, it's perfectly fine! =D) It can go either way. It's not wrong per se, but using 'that' in too many, (or completely wrong) instances can diminish the quality of your work. It's okay sometimes, just dont do it repeatedly.


I think you miunderstand: I don't use that.

Does this mean I should be wary of where I accept the use of 'that'?



::rereads post::

OH!

Lol.

Yes, that's what it means. I mean...it's okay if you don't 'that' too much! But when you do, look at where you use it. Ugh...im confusing myself now. =( eek
     
ItaSaku...

My OTP.


I hope this is the right place to put this, but uhm here I go, I wated to write like a story about these people with powers. There are three branches, Palladins, Demonists, and Knights. They travel in pairs of two and are trying to save the world from the villians 'the Fathers,' who are brainwashing people to sign up for the military, to fight these people with powers. The people can form into groups, I'm not sure how to say it but like, on that episode of DBZ where trunks and goten like became gotenks or what not? Sorry bad analogy, anyways, They can, oh yeah got it, They can Fuse together and make one class. Here is what I have come up with for basics.

Palladin + Knight = Saint

Demonist + Knight = Monster

Palladins + Demonist = Magisters

Palladins + Palladins = Priests

Demonsts + Demonists = Devils

Knights + Knights = Gaurdians.

I have the idea, just no where else to go. I really need help. I was thinking about turning it into an RP just to see where it would go. Help?
 
     

I <3 Pokemon RP's
 
"Potato Madness"
I hope this is the right place to put this, but uhm here I go, I wated to write like a story about these people with powers. There are three branches, Palladins, Demonists, and Knights. They travel in pairs of two and are trying to save the world from the villians 'the Fathers,' who are brainwashing people to sign up for the military, to fight these people with powers. The people can form into groups, I'm not sure how to say it but like, on that episode of DBZ where trunks and goten like became gotenks or what not? Sorry bad analogy, anyways, They can, oh yeah got it, They can Fuse together and make one class. Here is what I have come up with for basics.

Palladin + Knight = Saint

Demonist + Knight = Monster

Palladins + Demonist = Magisters

Palladins + Palladins = Priests

Demonsts + Demonists = Devils

Knights + Knights = Gaurdians.

I have the idea, just no where else to go. I really need help. I was thinking about turning it into an RP just to see where it would go. Help?


I don't really understand what you need help with. Do you want feed-back on the idea? Because right now it seems like a decent premise but without a protagonist it becomes difficult to ascertain the plot and, certainly, since there are no specific characters mentioned, I can't remark on any sub-plots.
     
So do I just post the portion of the writing that I would like help on??

I have several stories that I would like some constructive criticism and help with smile
 
     
Please play with my fishies smile
I do not like or celebrate Halloween, but to each his own.