Welcome to Gaia! :: Need Help or Ideas? Come to the Think Tank and Idea Box!

Log In

Forgot your login?

Sign Up

Register
 
GST
 Post Reply
Gaia Forums » Artist's Corner » Writers
Sticky: Need Help or Ideas? Come to the Think Tank and Idea Box!
Export this topic to other sites using WildFire!
forum:15, topic:4803263
|« <<< << < 1 2 3 ... 351 352 353 ... 366 367 368 > >> »|
Report this post
Post: 4803263_5266 created on Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:23 pmPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:23 pm
Im in the super duper early stages of a little story that has been brewing in my head for a few weeks now. The main species in it are mermaids, naga and humans, though im doing research to see if there are any other interesting nautical mythical creatures that may pop around.

There isnt a whole bunch of story outline, im still forming the world they live in. The Humans are mostly unware of the naga and almost completely unaware of the merpeople, the only humans that know of the other races are merchants and pirates that help protect the areas they inhabit in exchange for jewels, fish, reclaimed items on sunken ships and other goods. The humans deal with the naga, who then deal with the merpeople.

Naga are tribal, hunters and gatherers, and some are pirates. They are carnivores. Tribes live on small islands, often in small numbers as they live rather long. Both naga and merpeople have considerably longer lifetimes then humans, i havent decided how long yet.

Mermaids are omnivores, most have developed a taste for human fruits and vegetables, trading fish, pearls, and sunken treasures for food and trinkets as well.
As an entire race, merpeople live in small to midsized cities allover the world. Cities are built out of corals trained to grow into certain shapes, stones, lava, glass, materials salvaged from sunken ships and in some places, underground cave systems. Where they live in the world also affects the coloring of tails and hair, merpeople living in tropical regions are often brighter colored, very similar to the fish in the reefs they inhabit, the cooler the water the darker the merpeople tend to be colored to blend in with the darker waters and plant life.

My MC lives in cooler waters, not a region with winters persay, but it isnt tropical. The naga are also similar, im basing colors on what the reptiles and fish life would actually be in. The merpeople in my mc city are huge intellectuals, contastantly studing those around them, esp the human advancement.

The humans are well, humans, nothing special at all, i think this will be around 1800's, perhaps earlier

im trying to set it up realistically ^_^;;;;;;
 
     

Getting married September 20th 2008
Bid on my art auction NAO PLEEZ
My Deviant Art
Report this post
Post: 4803263_5267 created on Thu Jun 19, 2008 1:47 amPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 1:47 am
 
Hello. I'm here because I need some help with my writing. You see, whenever I write a story, I often have trouble either describing the situation at hand or, in some cases, trouble with describing the main character of the story. It's mainly the intro that I am worried about right now, so if you could, may you offer some advice for me?

( Also, if I went off of topic, I apologize. )
     
Report this post
Post: 4803263_5269 created on Thu Jun 19, 2008 5:50 pmPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 5:50 pm
that was pretty good keep it up blaugh
 
     
Report this post
Post: 4803263_5270 created on Thu Jun 19, 2008 8:48 pmPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 8:48 pm
 
Why is Aaaah! and eeek! in red?
     
Report this post
Post: 4803263_5271 created on Mon Jun 23, 2008 4:49 amPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 4:49 am
If you want your main character to go on a search for her family's past like her ancestry and what her ancestors have done, how could you provoke that? Like what could cause someone to want to know something about their ancestors besides being asked by someone? It's set in the medieval time period.
Any advice?
 
     

Total Value: 841,186 Gold
[Item Information]
Kingkong541
Get Your License
Report this post
Post: 4803263_5272 created on Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:52 pmPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:52 pm
 
hey i need help making a title for my fanfic. Can i do that here?
     
HELP ME GET MY DREAM AVATAR!!!

Report this post
Post: 4803263_5273 created on Tue Jun 24, 2008 3:08 amPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 3:08 am
"BlueDragonX"
Why is Aaaah! and eeek! in red?


Um... cause it's EEP surprising and like... blood-curdling? That's the word.
 
     
Report this post
Post: 4803263_5274 created on Tue Jun 24, 2008 6:03 pmPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 6:03 pm
 
Here's the intro to a short-story I'm creating. The problem is, I feel like the ideas in the story are jumping from one idea to the next and it reads akwardly. Can anyone offer their input? Maybe rearranging sentences or helping me rephrase? I haven't even chosen the time period yet. 0.0

Thanks in advance, I really appreciate it!

Jaylee.


I had my first kill when I was seven.

While you may give me looks of astonishment and shock, my own family would applaud and give me looks of appreciation. “Their perfect little prodigy, fighting for the good and honor of the Artemisia name.” I discreetly murdered family and eradicated enemies silly enough to get in my way, I did it all. I got the order, I asked no questions. On the outside I was an assassin with deadly precision and efficiency. On the inside I was a little girl who was forced to grow up. I remember the first time I felt warm blood on my hands that wasn’t my own and I remember wincing. More orders came. My katana grew more experience while the flinching and cringing became less and less. The hesitation before final blows we’re non-existent. I realized I was slowly turning into a systematic, emotionless monster. A machine-like creature who felt nothing. And for that sister, I am sorry…
     
ItaSaku...

My OTP.


Report this post
Post: 4803263_5275 created on Tue Jun 24, 2008 8:34 pmPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 8:34 pm
"FascinationMaxx"
Here's the intro to a short-story I'm creating. The problem is, I feel like the ideas in the story are jumping from one idea to the next and it reads akwardly. Can anyone offer their input? Maybe rearranging sentences or helping me rephrase? I haven't even chosen the time period yet. 0.0

Thanks in advance, I really appreciate it!

Jaylee.


I had my first kill when I was seven.

While you may give me looks of astonishment and shock, my own family would applaud and give me looks of appreciation. “Their perfect little prodigy, fighting for the good and honor of the Artemisia name.” I discreetly murdered family and eradicated enemies silly enough to get in my way, I did it all. I got the order, I asked no questions. On the outside I was an assassin with deadly precision and efficiency. On the inside I was a little girl who was forced to grow up. I remember the first time I felt warm blood on my hands that wasn’t my own and I remember wincing. More orders came. My katana grew more experience while the flinching and cringing became less and less. The hesitation before final blows we’re non-existent. I realized I was slowly turning into a systematic, emotionless monster. A machine-like creature who felt nothing. And for that sister, I am sorry…


I wanna help with this! I may not be a member of the Think Tank and Box, but I am a fellow writer! You don't have to let me help, but it sounds fun, and I wanna be the first one to read it. I want you to know in advance, I'm available pretty much half the week. My mom has internet, not my dad. Although sometimes I can use the computer at my friends' house.

Wanting to help with your short story and being very good at grammar and spelling,

Charlotte
 
     
Report this post
Post: 4803263_5276 created on Wed Jun 25, 2008 12:33 amPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 12:33 am
 
"charlotteilw"
"FascinationMaxx"
Here's the intro to a short-story I'm creating. The problem is, I feel like the ideas in the story are jumping from one idea to the next and it reads akwardly. Can anyone offer their input? Maybe rearranging sentences or helping me rephrase? I haven't even chosen the time period yet. 0.0

Thanks in advance, I really appreciate it!

Jaylee.


I had my first kill when I was seven.

While you may give me looks of astonishment and shock, my own family would applaud and give me looks of appreciation. “Their perfect little prodigy, fighting for the good and honor of the Artemisia name.” I discreetly murdered family and eradicated enemies silly enough to get in my way, I did it all. I got the order, I asked no questions. On the outside I was an assassin with deadly precision and efficiency. On the inside I was a little girl who was forced to grow up. I remember the first time I felt warm blood on my hands that wasn’t my own and I remember wincing. More orders came. My katana grew more experience while the flinching and cringing became less and less. The hesitation before final blows we’re non-existent. I realized I was slowly turning into a systematic, emotionless monster. A machine-like creature who felt nothing. And for that sister, I am sorry…


I wanna help with this! I may not be a member of the Think Tank and Box, but I am a fellow writer! You don't have to let me help, but it sounds fun, and I wanna be the first one to read it. I want you to know in advance, I'm available pretty much half the week. My mom has internet, not my dad. Although sometimes I can use the computer at my friends' house.

Wanting to help with your short story and being very good at grammar and spelling,

Charlotte


^&^
OKAY! I'll let you be the first to read it once I'm done. (I should be done by the weekend!) In the meantime, can you (or anyone) help me specifically with this first paragraph?
     
ItaSaku...

My OTP.


Report this post
Post: 4803263_5277 created on Wed Jun 25, 2008 1:12 amPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 1:12 am
 
     
 
 
 
 
"FascinationMaxx"
"charlotteilw"
"FascinationMaxx"
Here's the intro to a short-story I'm creating. The problem is, I feel like the ideas in the story are jumping from one idea to the next and it reads akwardly. Can anyone offer their input? Maybe rearranging sentences or helping me rephrase? I haven't even chosen the time period yet. 0.0

Thanks in advance, I really appreciate it!

Jaylee.


I had my first kill when I was seven.

While you may give me looks of astonishment and shock, my own family would applaud and give me looks of appreciation. “Their perfect little prodigy, fighting for the good and honor of the Artemisia name.” I discreetly murdered family and eradicated enemies silly enough to get in my way, I did it all. I got the order, I asked no questions. On the outside I was an assassin with deadly precision and efficiency. On the inside I was a little girl who was forced to grow up. I remember the first time I felt warm blood on my hands that wasn’t my own and I remember wincing. More orders came. My katana grew more experience while the flinching and cringing became less and less. The hesitation before final blows we’re non-existent. I realized I was slowly turning into a systematic, emotionless monster. A machine-like creature who felt nothing. And for that sister, I am sorry…


I wanna help with this! I may not be a member of the Think Tank and Box, but I am a fellow writer! You don't have to let me help, but it sounds fun, and I wanna be the first one to read it. I want you to know in advance, I'm available pretty much half the week. My mom has internet, not my dad. Although sometimes I can use the computer at my friends' house.

Wanting to help with your short story and being very good at grammar and spelling,

Charlotte


^&^
OKAY! I'll let you be the first to read it once I'm done. (I should be done by the weekend!) In the meantime, can you (or anyone) help me specifically with this first paragraph?


Well.

Look:
Quote:
I had my first kill when I was seven.

While you may give me looks of astonishment and shock, my own family would applaud and give me looks of appreciation. “Their perfect little prodigy, fighting for the good and honor of the Artemisia name.” I discreetly murdered family and eradicated enemies silly enough to get in my way, I did it all. I got the order, I asked no questions. On the outside I was an assassin with deadly precision and efficiency. On the inside I was a little girl who was forced to grow up. I remember the first time I felt warm blood on my hands that wasn’t my own and I remember wincing. More orders came. My katana grew more experience while the flinching and cringing became less and less. The hesitation before final blows we’re non-existent. I realized I was slowly turning into a systematic, emotionless monster. A machine-like creature who felt nothing. And for that sister, I am sorry…


I highlighted things I had problems with. I will highlight the problems I had with those things in the same color. Simple!

Since you said the family was proud, wouldn't you say something like, OUR little prodigy? A little thing, no biggie. Also 1 consideration: Maybe you could use a different word than 'name.' Maybe 'clan'?

You would probably list a little bit more before saying, "I did it all."

Correction: My katana and I grew more experienced, sounds better.

Correction: was. The hesitation before final blows was non-existent.

And for that-comma!-sister, I am sorry. And for that, sister, I am sorry... Or is she apologizing for killing a sister or something?
 
 
 
 
     
 
Report this post
Post: 4803263_5278 created on Wed Jun 25, 2008 9:36 pmPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 9:36 pm
 
Hi, I'm developing a story now where two worlds, our world and a fantasy world named Xerix, and the only way to get to Xerix is to use a portal. I wanted to write about character's experience in the portal travel, but I have no idea on how portal travel should be described.
The two ideas that I made for portal travel to Xerix is by falling through a tunnel of bright light (where the character mistakes as going into Heaven), or by being 'flushed' through a series of tubes. In your opinion, which way of portal travel would be more descriptive (and humorous) to write?
     
Report this post
Post: 4803263_5279 created on Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:11 amPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:11 am
@Teamaqua360: Maybe you could use both, like they fall into light, and start to think they're dead, but then the light flashes by them, and they go flying through the tubes, or "flushed" as you said. But in my opinion, being flushed is pretty humorous.
 
     
Report this post
Post: 4803263_5280 created on Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:40 amPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:40 am
 
Oi... Two hundred pages of beautiful text and a wonderful story, and now I'm at chapter fifteen and I don't know what to write about.

Would you guys mind giving me some ideas please?

Premise so far... (the story is much deeper than this, but this is in the second part of the story which somewhat invalidates the entire first part, and chapter fifteen needs to focus around character development IMO)

- main character and his lover, who had been separated for over two decades, kill main villain, who is the main character's brother, who also had separated main character and his lover many years ago (and bombed their homeland, etc, killing most of the people they knew)

- main character and his lover, now reunited and having their conflicts with the main villain complete now that he is dead, move back to their rebuilt hometown and begin their life anew

Where I need it to get to is:

- main villain, who is revealed to be an immortal (as are other characters in this book, but so far he was believed to be a mortal the entire time), comes back

- main villain was always the governor of the city in which the story takes place, so he uses his "death" as merely an "assassination attempt" by his brother

- main villain holds a public execution of the main character, which ends the chapter

I really haven't had trouble writing up until this point. I think this may be the result of my style of writing which is usually very immediate... I try to write in the moment, rather than something that's in a general sense. But this chapter needs to be something like several weeks passing by at the least...

I don't know how to get from point A to point B. I've written three pages of chapter fifteen, in which main character and lover discuss all that has happened to the main character in part one of the novel (which none of the above events reference; it's mostly a separate storyline)... And then somehow it needs to get to the point where the main villain comes back and wrecks their lives again.

But I need SOME kind of character development. Suffice to say, the main character is already more than developed (especially since a crazy revolutionary plot twist just occurred to him before they killed the main villain). His lover, however, is so far very shallow. The only background she has is that she's been with the main villain for all these decades and is the reason for the main character's journey throughout the story.

So what I need to get done in this chapter is explain the relationship she developed with the main villain over the past two decades. The only logical way of doing this would be flashback, but I've tried to avoid using flashback in the novel. However, so much of the story is developed through the characters talking to each other. I don't want her sitting in a chair at a coffee shop with the main character telling him about the events of twenty years past, else it will be boring and seemingly forced.

So I need to do this ON TOP OF somehow moving "time" along to make it seem like they've really bonded again. I could do this with the other characters in the story because they had fifteen chapters to do so. I just introduced the lover last chapter (same with the main villain; so I need to write HIS backstory as well!) and now I need to tear them apart again.

So, summary:

I need to give backstory to the main character's lover and the main villain, while making weeks/months of time progress in the story, and showing an increase in the bond between the main character and his lover now that they are reunited. Yet, the chapter needs to end with the main character being executed. (point of note: lover will not be aware that the main character is dead until the end of the story)

Thank you for reading and giving advice!
     
Quote:
I had the illusion too. Waking up isn't fun.
~ samira_kerokero

http://img135.exs.cx/img135/1786/death35yv.jpg
|« <<< << < 1 2 3 ... 351 352 353 ... 366 367 368 > >> »|
 Post Reply
Gaia Forums » Artist's Corner » Writers
 Subscribe to Topic  Report this Topic