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Akirai
since u commented on my story it's my turn now ain't it blaugh ?
well maybe Joe's fallen on some rough times and tries to steal from Wes but Wes sees her and immediately falls in love with her. It also depends if you want them too fall in love or just be great friends... if you want friends you might say that Joe's begging somewhere and still doesn't have any food at midnight and is huddling somewhere and crying her eyes out till Wes comes to rescue her by bringing her to his mothers house it'd also give you an opening to let Wes explain his past

BTW I was thinking of a boy-boy and possibly to let one grow up as royalty and the other as a very gifted student which because of his Talent (Mind) will become a diplomate and has always been great friends with the prince in this case I'll think I'll let the prince go evil, fall from his throne and let mostly through a series of accidentle braveries let the student succeed the throne. But I'll see, normally once I start writing the story kinda unfolds as long as I have a solid beginning.


Ooh, I like the twin becoming the prince's successor. Nice idea. I'm very fond of the good guy turning evil idea.

And thanks for the comment, but Joe and Wes don't fall in love. Not in the traditional sense, anyway. I do like the idea of Joe stealing from Wes, though! I might play around with that... whee As for Joe crying, it's not in her character to do that, but nice shot. She's just too strong to break down over a day without food. And Wes wouldn't so freely go to the whores, anyway, because he's too independent. He'd have to be REALLY desperate. But I appreciate the ideas. Actually, everything you said planted a few plot seeds in my mind. Thanks.

Anyone else?
Jack Validity
Jack Validity
Joe is a girl who grew up in a cruddy orphanage in some run-down skid row section of a city. When she's twelve the orphanage burns down and instead of sticking around with all the other escaped kids on the sidewalk, waiting for the firemen to show up and help them out, she runs away in a panic. She comes across Paul, an older man and owner of a cheesy diner who helps her out for a night and gives her some too-big clothes to wear instead of her pajamas. But other than giving a few free meals every now and again, Paul wants nothing to do with her because he's too old, too busy, and too poor to take care of a child. Joe ends up a homeless ragamuffin, adjusting to being a bum just enough to survive but not enough to ruin her childish personality. When she's sixteen, she meets Wes, an eighteen-year-old boy who is also homeless, but has a better idea of how to get along. Wes, unlike Joe, knows a little about his past, like the fact that he's the son of a whore who was killed when he was five. He sometimes relies on the other ladies of the house his mother worked in to give him food and such during especially rough times. But for the most part he gets on well by himself. He sort of takes Joe under his wing and they become wonderful friends. They start to dream of someday getting out of their life and making it in the real world, with a real house and real clothes and stuff. But then Wes does something that upsets a local gang and their dreams of moving up in life get put on hold really quickly. In the end, a gang member gets hold of Joe and sort of has his way with her, but Wes finds her again and they run away. But they end up running straight into an ambush and they're both caught up in a bloody fight. Wes pulls out a knife and distracts the members long enough to allow Joe and him some escape time. As they run off, guns are being shot and then police sirens are heard. Joe (I should note that the story takes place in her point of view) doesn't look back and soon she and Wes are huddled terrified in an alleyway. It's only then that Joe realizes Wes has been badly injured. The story ends as the two go to sleep there in the alley, both knowing that Wes won't be waking up in the morning. (And there's a moral buried in there somewhere...)

Comments?
Is it pathetic to quote yourself? stare

Anyway, for some reason, I just got reminded of an important question I wanted to ask for my story, since I'm having some trouble with it on my own. Can anyone think of a good way for Joe and Wes to meet? (see above if you're totally lost)


Well, since you want him to be obviously better than her at surviving, make it about that. She's interrupted scrounging for food, maybe? Seen walking one of the worst parts of the street? Since she's still childish, she could be doing anything from following a stray puppy to picking up something dropped for the person who dropped it, but that well-to-do person is frightened/disgusted by her. It needs to either be something that forces them in the exact same place, possibly doing the same thing, or something that attracts one to the other in a substantial way.
I hope this isn't bad or anything, but I'm writing a story, and I'm not quite sure what to name one character.

The character is pretty average. I don't have a physical appearance planned yet, but he's supposed to get mediocre grades, he sometimes smokes, and he hangs around a smart (but comes off as dumb) kid who is blamed for a murder. I had the name Andy, but I didn't like it. xp There are some twists in it and other things, but I'm in the very early planning stages, so I'd like some ideas for his name. 3nodding

Edit: The story takes place in Chicago, Illinois, by the way. sweatdrop
Dallykate
I hope this isn't bad or anything, but I'm writing a story, and I'm not quite sure what to name one character.

The character is pretty average. I don't have a physical appearance planned yet, but he's supposed to get mediocre grades, he sometimes smokes, and he hangs around a smart (but comes off as dumb) kid who is blamed for a murder. I had the name Andy, but I didn't like it. xp There are some twists in it and other things, but I'm in the very early planning stages, so I'd like some ideas for his name. 3nodding

Edit: The story takes place in Chicago, Illinois, by the way. sweatdrop

There are some sites you can look at, one I use alot is babynames.com. You can also get a baby name book which helps alot.
And, it's not bad. Sometimes it takes me weeks to figure out what name I want to use for a character..
Jack Validity thnx for reacting and I'm planningpost the prologue tomorrow (might need some more time to finish up so it might be the day after) anyways I think I'll post the link here so if you'd like to comment (plz do, I'm planning to make this a long story, and this one would be my first long story so every feedback is welcome) then I'll certainly consider, unless it's ridiculously stupid advice then I'll just try to get it deleted
I'm writing a Modern Science Fiction story, and I want to know what people think about this storyline.. (Please keep in mind that the story is still in its constructive stages, so little bits of "Why?" and "How?" aren't included or explained yet.)

Quote:
Story:

External Conflict -
In the year 2078, a new world terror was born. Constant disappearances of young women all around the world were beginning to occur. One day, you would hear about a missing woman. The next day, you would hear about people discovering the woman's dead body. For unknown reasons, the Global Reinforcement Agency couldn't do a thing about it, except announce the death of a young woman to her family.

The members of the vigilante organization, Guardian, never thought they would become involved in this epidemic, until one of the members' daughter became victim to it. Determined to punish the culprit, Guardian will do everything they can to make the world safe once more.

Internal Conflict -
The illegal clandestine organization, ORPHAN, began carrying out it's ultimate objective in 2078---human super-cloning. They would kidnap "qualified" young women, take her DNA, and then leave her dead body to ruin. Then they'd take the DNA and genetically alter it to clone an exact reproduction.. except better than the original. These cloned young women were called "daughters." Once they matured, they'd be trained to assassinate.

Julia was a "daughter." She was probably the best trained assassin in ORPHAN. Never exposed to the world, she never understood the evil in her or the organization's "work". Julia never much cared why she or ORPHAN would do what they did. But as intelligent and inquisitive as her "mother", Julia discovers the sinister reason for ORPHAN'S objectives. She found herself a dilemma--continue working with ORPHAN and support their "cause" or escape and have the risk of being killed herself.


That's the story! I haven't found a perfect title for it yet, so does anyone have any suggestions? I'll post the prologue in a different post..
This is the prologue for my story. This is in Julia's point of view.
Quote:
Prologue: Raindrops

It was raining that day. I wasn't able to see it, since there is no window in my room, but I could hear it through my bedroom walls. The soft pitter patter of the rain hitting the cement was very soothing to me. It was like the white noise machine in Arthur's office. He was right. It is very relaxing. My eyes searched around the bland, white bedroom. There was a small bed in the corner of the room, just my size. On the opposite corner, near the door, was an old radiator to keep the room warm and cozy during winter. A white sink and drawer was in the room opposite of the small, white sofa chair I was sitting in. "Daughters" weren't allowed to keep anything else, other than our clothes. Arthur snuck me some books, which I kept under my bed, though. The book that's my favorite is Romantic Shakespeare, which contained different works of Shakespeare, like A Midsummer Night's Dream, Taming of the Shrew, Twelve Nights, Romeo and Juliet, and others that are too many to name.

I looked at the clock, which was neatly hung on the wall. It was 10:53 PM, almost time for inspection. I stood up and walked to my drawer to change into my inspection garb, which were a pair of black skin-tight shorts and a strapless top. The buzzer rang right after I had changed. The doors opened and I walked out to join the other "daughters" walking to the inspection room. The halls became instantly full of girls in the inspection garbs. We finally reached the gargantuan doors of the inspection room, which opened and revealed the green glow of our prison. The "daughters" filled the room and remained silent, waiting for orders. A man in glasses and a white laboratory coat walked out to the center of the room, grinning.

"Let us begin." He said monotonously. His lab assistants came out and each brought a "daughter" to an inspection capsule. A tall, bulky man came to me, and I followed him to one of the capsules. The capsule was a tall glass cylinder, large enough to fit a person. I walked in, stood, and faced the bulky man, who began attaching wires onto my arms and legs. Once he was finished, he pressed a white button on the panel next to the capsule, and closed it, with me inside. I began breathing deeply, as what we were supposed to do. The man pressed a blue button, and water began to fill the capsule. It was completely filled up with water about a few minutes later. Something in the water always made the person in it go to sleep. I was floating in the center of the capsule; my hair was flowing along with the wires in the water. All of the other capsules were filled with the other "daughters". The man in glasses walked up to my capsule and said something I couldn't hear. My eyes fluttered, and slumber took me.
Queen of Spades--
I like it, except for one thing I'm sure you can clear up.
Why do they need to kill the women to get their DNA? DNA is about as easy to get as a cold at my highschool. I suggest you come up with other things they want which are not so easy to get, that require them to be physically present at some secret institution, and therefore killing them to protect the secret is more understandable.

Also, this reminded me of the rampant kidnappings in South America and other parts of the world. It makes me wonder what they do to try to stop it, and if you could use any of those methods (whether they fail or not) in your story.
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this makes no sence
Penden
Queen of Spades--
I like it, except for one thing I'm sure you can clear up.
Why do they need to kill the women to get their DNA? DNA is about as easy to get as a cold at my highschool. I suggest you come up with other things they want which are not so easy to get, that require them to be physically present at some secret institution, and therefore killing them to protect the secret is more understandable.

Also, this reminded me of the rampant kidnappings in South America and other parts of the world. It makes me wonder what they do to try to stop it, and if you could use any of those methods (whether they fail or not) in your story.
I didn't want to release too much information, but I share some. If you look back on my first post, it says "qualified" women. The specific requirements are in the story, but I don't want to release them until I post my entire story on a fiction website. (Maybe fictionpress?) The qualifications require specific DNA, which also will be further explained in the story. One thing I'll say though, you're right. In the story, the gathering of the DNA of a kidnapped woman occurs in a sick ritual, which ends with killing the woman. Yes, the secret of the organization is told to the woman right before her death. Why would they do that? Hint: all of the ORPHAN objectives and actions are commanded by one person, the big boss, who was introduced as the man with glasses in the Prologue. Thanks for the suggestion, I'll look into it.
Please understand that I don't want to release all of the information before the release of my story itself. If I do so, I might as well just give the ending.
kiandrae
Dallykate
I hope this isn't bad or anything, but I'm writing a story, and I'm not quite sure what to name one character.

The character is pretty average. I don't have a physical appearance planned yet, but he's supposed to get mediocre grades, he sometimes smokes, and he hangs around a smart (but comes off as dumb) kid who is blamed for a murder. I had the name Andy, but I didn't like it. xp There are some twists in it and other things, but I'm in the very early planning stages, so I'd like some ideas for his name. 3nodding

Edit: The story takes place in Chicago, Illinois, by the way. sweatdrop

There are some sites you can look at, one I use alot is babynames.com. You can also get a baby name book which helps alot.
And, it's not bad. Sometimes it takes me weeks to figure out what name I want to use for a character..


Thanks for the site and advice. 3nodding
[Queen of Spades]
Please understand that I don't want to release all of the information before the release of my story itself. If I do so, I might as well just give the ending.


Oh, I understand. whee I was just making sure you had thought of that!
Okay, I've been struggling with an idea for a little while now (it's winning the fight so far), and I decided I needed a little help, if any of you would be so inclined. If anyone could help me I would be very greatful.

My story is pure fiction, the main character is part of a special task force that is brought in when there are people being held hostage, their job is to wound and/or kill those that are holding the hostages. On her first live mission she watched her parents die, as she had not been informed that they were the hostages and that they were being tortured. (She hesitated and now blames herself). She is called in to consult on a case that an old lover of hers is being held hostage on. I know that no matter what she will go in and try to rescue the person, but what I'm currently stuck on is how she's going to get in to rescue the person if her boss is there... Should she be allowed to go in? (I personally think not). Should she be told to go home and pretend to, so that she can sneak in? Does she go in anyway, saying "who cares about the job?" How do I get her in there? If you can't help me with that, it's okay... Thanks much...
Umm... hello! I have an odd question for you(s). I've figured out the whole basic plot of my story and everything, I just need a location for one part. So, the question is: Where is the most unlikely place to get ambushed?

Now, my story is a quirky mix of cliched characters in absolutely bizarre situations. It takes place on Earth, except the Past, Present and Future all got smooshed together in a tragic physics accident. So basically it's a mush of sci-fi, present day and medieval/fantasy where a doctor could live next door to a centaur and a flying green alien from Alpha Centauri. So that said, where is the most unlikely place to get ambushed? My first thought was a Wal-Mart or something, but it would be best if it were outdoors, so the bad guys can bolt with y'know space ships and stuff. I've already had a large fight scene in a parking lot outside a Lotions, Potions and Linens store, which was my second thought. And in this story anything goes really, but my brain doesn't want to think right now. So... if someone has any ideas, I'd love you forever!

...Well, maybe not forever, but till next tuesday at least. 3nodding

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