Need Help or Ideas? Come to the Think Tank and Idea Box!

[erikakaiser]

Quote:

I'm currently writing a (somewhat) short story. The setting is in a town similar to Venice in design, (except on land), but I have no idea what to call it. Any ideas? (Im posting a basic description below). I also could use some suggestions one what to call the Runaways, as I think that?s a really stupid name. (Im a new writer, don?t expect much in quality.)

_______ was located over two rivers, one from the North-West, the other from the North-East, that merged into one and went south, like a curvy Y. Canals were dug to bring water all around the city, and boats replaced cars. It had its own currency system, of quarter sized coins made of bronze, silver, and gold. Three miles of farm land provided food for it population. Most important, at least to 35% percent of those who lived there, was the widespread cave system below the 10 feat of soil. For those caves housed the Runaways, a group of children, teens and adults who had left their lives to find new ones.

Mind if I recommend a few sites?

Name Generators
Seventh Sanctum (This is the best place for name generators, and comes in handy quite often.)
Chris Pound's Name Generator
Elven Name Generator
Fantasy Name Generator

Baby Name Sites (Not just for babies, of course. whee )
20,000-names.com
Alphabet Zoope
babynames.com
behindthename.com
last-names.net

There. ^_^ That should give you plenty of material for the name of your place.

[Wynnn]

This exists in another thread...but I wanted it here more, I guess. And so I present: Plot Number Two!

Joe is a girl who grew up in a cruddy orphanage in some run-down skid row section of a city. When she's twelve the orphanage burns down and instead of sticking around with all the other escaped kids on the sidewalk, waiting for the firemen to show up and help them out, she runs away in a panic. She comes across Paul, an older man and owner of a cheesy diner who helps her out for a night and gives her some too-big clothes to wear instead of her pajamas. But other than giving a few free meals every now and again, Paul wants nothing to do with her because he's too old, too busy, and too poor to take care of a child. Joe ends up a homeless ragamuffin, adjusting to being a bum just enough to survive but not enough to ruin her childish personality. When she's sixteen, she meets Wes, an eighteen-year-old boy who is also homeless, but has a better idea of how to get along. Wes, unlike Joe, knows a little about his past, like the fact that he's the son of a whore who was killed when he was five. He sometimes relies on the other ladies of the house his mother worked in to give him food and such during especially rough times. But for the most part he gets on well by himself. He sort of takes Joe under his wing and they become wonderful friends. They start to dream of someday getting out of their life and making it in the real world, with a real house and real clothes and stuff. But then Wes does something that upsets a local gang and their dreams of moving up in life get put on hold really quickly. In the end, a gang member gets hold of Joe and sort of has his way with her, but Wes finds her again and they run away. But they end up running straight into an ambush and they're both caught up in a bloody fight. Wes pulls out a knife and distracts the members long enough to allow Joe and him some escape time. As they run off, guns are being shot and then police sirens are heard. Joe (I should note that the story takes place in her point of view) doesn't look back and soon she and Wes are huddled terrified in an alleyway. It's only then that Joe realizes Wes has been badly injured. The story ends as the two go to sleep there in the alley, both knowing that Wes won't be waking up in the morning. (And there's a moral buried in there somewhere...)

Comments?

[Bookie]

Write it! scream

Yes, definitly write it. The ending is a tad overly sentimental, but if you can pull it off, it will be great. The only thing I see that might trip you up is the fact that you haven't mentioned much character development. Without it, you might have trouble moving from one point in Joe's life to the next, and the story might become boring. If you can address that, or if you know how that's going to work and you just didn't mention it, then I think you'd have yourself an interesting story.

So, write, and see how it goes. I'd love the see the finished product.

[Lady Lately]

Quote:

*pops in and hands out icing-snowman covered strawberries*

Happy Winter-een-mas all!

smile

Please stay relevant.

[Ricardo.Gomes]

Quote:

Here is the story. It is the original version, and I hope that it doesn't have to be edited too much.

Lots of thanks for the info and for helping me out!! =)

Very well written; good construction of the individual's actions. But I am left in the dark with the entire piece. My query would be: who is it that is caged; how did he become so; what is point of the cage - political, religious, social? And what is the point of the piece itself. Are you telling a moral tale, etc?

Second query: the character seems to be acting quickly, since the pace of the piece is also fast. I question the validity of his "hunger" only because there is no lead in to it. He also seems coherent enough to know what he is doing and be both horrified and complacent about it. Why? What has made him this way? The answer is not hunger alone; there is something else driving him and it is neither stated nor developed. I'd like to know what is driving him; this is something best done in either historical background, or back-story plot development.

Do continue to work on this, as I think you have something good here. Not my cuppa tea mind, but there is potential in your story.

[sevemar]

well i think that some stories are fun some are lame but you can gather ideas from lame stories and great stories they both help.

[Kawaii Kendra]

I am handing out muses so message me bcause I dont want to duplicate them as I hand them out


Message me if you want one!

[Foxy_kitsunechan]

Oh, this would be an intersesting thing to check out when I'm in a writer's block. I'll have to keep this in mind. xd

[Mangartist25]

Quote:

This exists in another thread...but I wanted it here more, I guess. And so I present: Plot Number Two!

Joe is a girl who grew up in a cruddy orphanage in some run-down skid row section of a city. When she's twelve the orphanage burns down and instead of sticking around with all the other escaped kids on the sidewalk, waiting for the firemen to show up and help them out, she runs away in a panic. She comes across Paul, an older man and owner of a cheesy diner who helps her out for a night and gives her some too-big clothes to wear instead of her pajamas. But other than giving a few free meals every now and again, Paul wants nothing to do with her because he's too old, too busy, and too poor to take care of a child. Joe ends up a homeless ragamuffin, adjusting to being a bum just enough to survive but not enough to ruin her childish personality. When she's sixteen, she meets Wes, an eighteen-year-old boy who is also homeless, but has a better idea of how to get along. Wes, unlike Joe, knows a little about his past, like the fact that he's the son of a whore who was killed when he was five. He sometimes relies on the other ladies of the house his mother worked in to give him food and such during especially rough times. But for the most part he gets on well by himself. He sort of takes Joe under his wing and they become wonderful friends. They start to dream of someday getting out of their life and making it in the real world, with a real house and real clothes and stuff. But then Wes does something that upsets a local gang and their dreams of moving up in life get put on hold really quickly. In the end, a gang member gets hold of Joe and sort of has his way with her, but Wes finds her again and they run away. But they end up running straight into an ambush and they're both caught up in a bloody fight. Wes pulls out a knife and distracts the members long enough to allow Joe and him some escape time. As they run off, guns are being shot and then police sirens are heard. Joe (I should note that the story takes place in her point of view) doesn't look back and soon she and Wes are huddled terrified in an alleyway. It's only then that Joe realizes Wes has been badly injured. The story ends as the two go to sleep there in the alley, both knowing that Wes won't be waking up in the morning. (And there's a moral buried in there somewhere...)

Comments?

WOW! eek It sounds wonderful... dont change anything... I would love to read it one day! 3nodding

[Mangartist25]

Name Generators
Seventh Sanctum (This is the best place for name generators, and comes in handy quite often.)
Chris Pound's Name Generator
Elven Name Generator
Fantasy Name Generator

Baby Name Sites (Not just for babies, of course. whee )
20,000-names.com
Alphabet Zoope
babynames.com
behindthename.com
last-names.net

There. ^_^ That should give you plenty of material for the name of your place.

OOH!! I heart heart heart the name generator!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! biggrin

[hlmtwin]

Um... this is the first time I've done something like this (I usually bounce ideas off my sister) but here goes:

I'm writing a semi-fanfic about the younger brother of Souh Takamura (from CLAMP School Detectives, if you don't know the manga that's fine because those characters are only in the opening scene.) The premise is this: Akeji (the main character) is a young ninja who's duty is to protect a budding musician named Kay. Since she's significantly older than him (she's 16, he's only 9) she basically hates having him around. (Understandable, what teenager wants to hang around with a little kid?)

I have two questions:
1) How do I write Kay so that she's not... witchy. She's not meant to be a mean person but she seems to come off as mean when I write her.
and 2) She has a bodyguard for a reason (basically I was thinking... either kidnapper or stalker) but since her bodyguard is a kid, he's got to prove himself. The question is how?

The first part of the story is in my Gaia journal here http://www.gaiaonline.com/journal/index.php?mode=view&p=498339 , if you want to read it. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated... thanks.

[Noah Narcolepsy]

wow this is cool!

[MrsMica]

hlltwin

I have two questions:
1) How do I write Kay so that she's not... witchy. She's not meant to be a mean person but she seems to come off as mean when I write her.

It might help to have to dodge him in subtle ways-- basically, to trick him. If she uses a lot of irony then even when she seems mean to the reader it might at least be funny. It's understandable that a teenager would not want her body gaurd to be a nine year old kid. Perhaps you could have in overhear her say something about that. She might even say that she likes him, just not as a bodyguard.

hlltwin

and 2) She has a bodyguard for a reason (basically I was thinking... either kidnapper or stalker) but since her bodyguard is a kid, he's got to prove himself. The question is how?

Well, that's easy, but you don't always want to go the easy route. I imagine that eventually in the story he has to prove himself by saving her. Before that, he can show her that he is observant, since that is very important to being a body guard. If you don't see the stalker coming, what good are your massively cool fighting moves? wink

kiandrae

The brother feels this is the time to strike, so he tries to lead revolts against the Prince. This whole story, though, is not told by the Prince, but by a female slave he buys at auction to replace his current stock. His brother tries to use her as a spy (this is how she gets wind of his plotting), but I'm not sure what else I can do with her. I want her to play a big role with the conflict between the brother and Prince.
.................
Oh, and part of the story I really want to include both cultures.. the Prince's race and the slave's race, and how the oppression of their culture and her bondage effects her.

First of all, this sounds wonderfully indepth. Usually with a story like this the hardest part is figuring how to start it, which you've already done, and I think the choice you've made for that is certainly workable. It is good that you want their cultures to clash, because that clash will automatically give the slave a higher importance in the story as a sort of main character. Second, since she is being used as a spy, she is in a position of power and knowledge, but at the same time she is in a tight spot where any attempt to exercise her new power over the brother (by lying to him) could get her killed. I suggest you involve her in the story more simply by giving her new friends at her new place of residence. That way when another slave hears something strange, she learns it to, or when a slave needs advice, she's there to give it and influence the story further. This can serve to hold you until (or, if) the Prince starts figuring out that she is a spy, or even that his brother asked her to be one. Then, no matter what the Prince's relationship was with her before, he must decide if she is a threat and what to do with her.

kiandrae

I'm not sure how to end this.. and I feel like I have alot of loose ends I haven't tied up here and there. Does anybody have suggestions for this? And I don't know if I want this to end with the cliche of the slave being set free. I can't make up my mind.

I wouldn't want to end it that way either, and I wouldn't want there to be romance between her and the Prince. I think you can tighten the already tight spot she was in until she is forced into a true crisis, where there are only two possible outcomes-- death/other freedom from the conflict (even a new master) OR a resolution of the conflict itself, for instance if the Prince were to kill his brother.

I hope that helped!

[hlmtwin]

Penden:
Thanks for the help. I was in a bit of a block there about how to carry on. Thanks again.