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Punk Fox TH

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Post: 4803263_106 created on Sat, 18 Dec 2004 19:27:36 +0000
Posted: Sat, 18 Dec 2004 19:27:36 +0000

erikakaiser

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sorry dont have any ideas but ive got a friend whos writing a book but she cant think of an ending 4 it. could you please reply to do you think this is a gud idea 4 a book. bump. hehehe.

Dammit, I've tried to quote that ten times in a row. Gaia is effed up today. Anyway ...
First of all, please don't bump. Not only is that looked down upon in the Writer's Forum -- but this is a Sticky, which means that it's always at the top so bumping isn't nessecary at all.
Second ... Perhaps, if she truly needs help, she could come and give us the details regarding her book so that we could help her. What you've told us enables us to do nothing in matters of aid. I don't even know if it's fanfiction or original works.
... I just realized something. The acronym for 'original works' is 'ow'. xp
Ehe, I'm probably the only one who found that amusing.

I found it amusing, and would like to reiterate, there's nothing to help... perhaps a few details would be useful.

Wynnn

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Post: 4803263_107 created on Sun, 19 Dec 2004 07:32:33 +0000
Posted: Sun, 19 Dec 2004 07:32:33 +0000

I'm having trouble with a plot. I have a vague idea of what's going on, but it's mostly just a lot of back-story and character interactions so far. Here's what's going on:

It's a story set in a fantasy world. It's basically an adventure story, I guess, but nothing very adventurous happens...

A young man is abandoned casually by his parents at age five, however, this event doesn't traumatize him in any way (he's unique that way, in that he pretty much lets everything go by him without much brooding). He never hears from his parents again. The only thing they leave him is a bow staff (I can't find any relevance in that... Opinions?) Anyway, this young man survives by wandering around to different cities and scrubbing tavern floors for scraps and money, for the most part. When he's twelve, though, he finds a permanent job with a wealthy wine-maker. The boy is one of many servants in this lord's house. However, he's the only servant his master beats (often). The master of the house has another servant whom he treats more as a personal harlot. This woman, though, takes a keen interest in the boy and begins to "come on" to him fairly forcefully. This creates tension in the house. At sixteen, the young man leaves the house for good, fed up with his treatment.

He's now nineteen (he thinks...) and living as he did before, a homeless wanderer relying on the kindness of tavern owners. One day unexpectedly he meets his former master in a tavern. The master is now far worse off than he was when this young man worked for him. The master has lost his estate and his business has crumbled. The servants of his house rose up against him (having something to do with the departure of the boy) and smoked him out of his home before burning it to the ground. Also, he's murdered his girl servant in a rage because she betrayed him with another man. Now he's just as homeless as the boy is. Add to it that he's been "possessed" by the "god" of their world, a female spirit who controls all things. The spirit is inhabiting the man's head as punishment for his sins. The man (under orders of the spirit) asks the boy for help in redeeming him. The task is to go retrieve SOMETHING from the holy temple of the spirit. The boy agrees.

As the boy travels, he meets a girl his age who comes from a wealthy family. She is also travelling on her own, as a personal quest to find meaning in her life. She makes friends with the boy and they continue together. They eventually reach the temple and the boy learns from the spirit that SOMETHING regarding the fact that he, the girl, and the man are all the key parts of some grand scheme (game) the spirit is controlling in order to keep the world balanced. In the end, the boy gives to the man the item he requested the man dies a forgiven man, and the boy goes to live with the wealthy girl.

Another thing: the boy knows how to write but one word, and that is his name. Every time he leaves a place, as a sort of ritualistic tradition, he writes his name in the dirt outside the entrance/exit of the place he just left (referring only to major things, like a city). However, he failed to do this when he left his servant position at the man's house. Then, when the story is completed, he writes his name in the dirt as a symbol that he's left one stage of his life and is moving on to another.

Whew! I'm wordy... My questions are:
First if all, can you find any plot holes (besides the SOMETHING's)?
Second, can you think of any brilliant things to fill in the SOMETHING's?
Third, anything I should just get rid of?
Fourth, the story actually begins when the boy and master meet the second time. How should I go about revealing the rest of the history?
Fifth, any general suggestions?

(Mercy and many blessings to those who actually read this beast. sweatdrop )

downunderevil

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Post: 4803263_108 created on Mon, 20 Dec 2004 03:41:49 +0000
Posted: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 03:41:49 +0000

secret society that made up of councilars
the biggest enemy is the moon priest who has the power
of light and darkness
their the only one who can control the power
people want to get rid of the moon priest because they think their evil

Bookie

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Post: 4803263_109 created on Mon, 20 Dec 2004 04:33:05 +0000
Posted: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 04:33:05 +0000

ValidJack: The SOMETHING is not as important as exactly what each character means to the overall whole of his purpose. Why do you have an evil tavern owner, a homeless waif, and a rich girl as the three people who need to keep the balance. What aspect of this balance does each represent. I think that's the most important question to ask at the moment.

The way you answer this question will probably decide whether or not your plot becomes full of holes or has some meaning behind it.

When it comes to backtracking the plot, dialogue is always useful. The reader doesn't need to know all of the gory details of the past, which is something amateur writers sometimes forget. All you need to do is have some character mention what has happened, the other react to it, and let the reader realize what has gone on between the two.

For example, the tavern owner could accuse the boy of sleeping with his girl at one point, and rant that he always knew she was a slut and he did right in killing her. The boy could then swear that nothing happened, but note that she was being overly friendly with him. Depending on your POV and narrative voice, things will be different, but my example is the basic idea of what could happen.

Hwii

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Post: 4803263_110 created on Mon, 20 Dec 2004 21:34:07 +0000
Posted: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 21:34:07 +0000

I'd like to point out that the wealthy girl seems slightly...Mary-Sue. I'd like to think that she'd be more developed so this doesn't turn out into one of those 'the hero gets the girl' stories. I love the plot and characters...so I encourage more developement. As for the 'somethings' ...well...I'm thinking about it...and I've come up deciding that these 'somethings' are pretty important. Thus said, I'd like to encourage you to come up with them yourself. I also think that Bookie presents a valid point. Going further on it...perhaps you could tie all of the 'somethings' together?

Note about some previous posts: First I apologize for going off on a tangent with fanfiction.

Secondly, my Christmas fic has already been edited...and is being printed as I speak. Apparently '5' pages turned into '45'. xp

Mangartist25

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Post: 4803263_111 created on Mon, 20 Dec 2004 23:04:48 +0000
Posted: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 23:04:48 +0000

Well, i'm writing this story about this girl who are warped into another world (explaining the whole thing would take a long time) any way i need ideas for thier adventures...help?

Tristitia

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Post: 4803263_112 created on Mon, 20 Dec 2004 23:16:36 +0000
Posted: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 23:16:36 +0000

Mangartist25

Well, i'm writing this story about this girl who are warped into another world (explaining the whole thing would take a long time) any way i need ideas for thier adventures...help?

You should probably explain the type of world it is so we'd have an idea what kind of adventures would take place in it.

And knowing how/why she got there WOULD help.

Annybel

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Post: 4803263_113 created on Tue, 21 Dec 2004 00:24:56 +0000
Posted: Tue, 21 Dec 2004 00:24:56 +0000

um... I'm at a bit of a writers block. I was wondering if anyone might be able to give me some ideas. In the book: I get into a car accedent and end up with amneisia, and my memory comes back in dreams. The dreams lead me to this guy that I used to date-micheal-but the thing is, he disappeared after the wreck. the guy i curently date is starting to wonder how dedicated I am, the guy i used to date haunts my dreams, and to top it all off, my best friend disappears... i still have to figure out how though. the thing is... I have the begining, and I have the end... but I can't connect the two. I don't know how to write anything good in it... I need something good to happen to balance out the bad-oh... and the twist is that the x is a vampire(i'm obsessed with vamps) soo.... if you have any suggestions... please tell me.. I could really use the help.

Seele des Drachen

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Post: 4803263_114 created on Tue, 21 Dec 2004 03:32:32 +0000
Posted: Tue, 21 Dec 2004 03:32:32 +0000

Tristitia

Mangartist25

Well, i'm writing this story about this girl who are warped into another world (explaining the whole thing would take a long time) any way i need ideas for thier adventures...help?

You should probably explain the type of world it is so we'd have an idea what kind of adventures would take place in it. And knowing how/why she got there WOULD help.

Books like that usually end up with the girl being the worlds savior but first has to find items/power/teachings to be able to save it. If ur looking for her to be the heroine u probably want to go that way or u can have it be she just ends up to prefer this world over her own orshe has to survive to get back to her world, but as Tristitia said i dont know what kind of story it is ur going towards the setting and genre.

Kirroki

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Post: 4803263_115 created on Tue, 21 Dec 2004 06:12:50 +0000
Posted: Tue, 21 Dec 2004 06:12:50 +0000

I don't know how to write battle scenes. Most of my stories involve them. I've read many stories and watched lots of movies and shows with battle scenes but to no avail.
One story in particular has been the most difficult. It is a space venture with a kind of Star Wars feel. I have no idea how to go about writing a major battle scene. I'm not talking about one-on-one battles but army against army.

MarikOnyx

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Post: 4803263_116 created on Tue, 21 Dec 2004 12:52:14 +0000
Posted: Tue, 21 Dec 2004 12:52:14 +0000

Oh cripes, run . . . you mentioned Star Wars type stuff. Best person to go to for SciFi battles IMHO is PunkFoxTH. I've read his stuff, and his battle scenes are usually very well done.

As for the vampire-amnesia story - a thought. Suppose the ex-boyfriend (the vamp) disappeared because some of the more powerful vampires (a council perhaps) thought it was dangerous for him to be so intimately involved with a human without munching on her. They arranged the car accident to get rid of her, and took the ex. Unfortunately, the car accident didn't work. Now you have a quest to play with : ) Have fun.

Bookie

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Post: 4803263_117 created on Tue, 21 Dec 2004 18:23:56 +0000
Posted: Tue, 21 Dec 2004 18:23:56 +0000

Kirroki

The Basil Broketail series has some good battle scenes. In them the basic movement of regiments are noted, and then the particular valors of specific people are presented in detail.

If you are really talking about army against army, study major historical battles. Waterloo, WWII, The Revolutionary War, the Campaign of Alexander the Great, etc... Then you'll get a basic idea of how regiments move (which I think is of major importance). The Illiad is another good source.

Also, concentrate on your point of view. Will you be writing the story with a focus on individual fighters, or will you be recording a major battle without any particular details to them? I hope I've given you some ideas.