I've got an idea, I'd love some feedback.

What do you think?

yay	40.0%	[ 6 ]
nay	20.0%	[ 3 ]
meh	40.0%	[ 6 ]
Total Votes:			[ 15 ]

[Nutwin]

So, I've got this idea for a story... I'm just going to write (very, very briefly) about it in the spoiler below.

"Whatever is written by humans, although unbeknownst to them, becomes a world of it's own - a sort of alternate-reality.
But these worlds are unstable, unfinished, and fall apart after their story is finished. Their characters do what is written, and rarely have free will.

Anna and her long-time friend Nathaniel travel from world to world, fixing blemishes and ensuring stories go as they were intended until the end.
Along the way, Anna discovers that she's not from a created world but from the "original" one. She and Nathaniel begin looking for clues as to who she was, where she was from, and why she's now trapped in these fake worlds instead of living her life in the real one."

Please take a look at Anna and Nathaniel's profiles and this FAQ before carrying on. It'll make more sense that way.
(If you want, there are also some stories written here about them.)

So above is the little blurp I've got on my character page.
What I'm thinking is in beginning I would work through Anna and Nathaniel's relationship (and his initial reluctance in joining her) by writing about one story in particular where Nathaniel gets to spend more time with Anna than he has in other lives. Then after he sees how important this is to her (and how his lives have really amounted to nothing, that he can find real purpose in helping her) moving onto one or two of their "adventures" fixing blemishes and finding clues and then after that Anna meeting the one who created her (the first part of the story ending there.)

I've got a couple of questions, and just to boost motivation if you'd like I will offer you 20k for every question you answer for me!
Even if you have time to just answer the first question, that'd mean so much to me!

From what you understand:
1. In general, what do you think about this idea?
2. Is there anything that specifically stands out about the idea that you'd like to comment on?
3. What age group do you think would be best to target?
(There is only one, supporting-character romance that I'm planning. Everything else is going to be action/suspense/character development/etc...)
4. What type of ending would you expect/want this type of story to end with?
5. Anything else you'd like to comment on?


Thank you so much for taking the time to read all of this! It means the world to me. c:

[Lykashii]

Okay, firstly I LOVE this. Your writing is amazing, and I'm kind of unsure why you've posted this thread! I'm hooked!
1. I think it is very unique (well to me, I've never read anything like it!) I read the stories on this page :
http://annabananana.weebly.com/other.html
and I really enjoyed them! Admittedly it is a tad confusing, but I think that is perfect. I found by the bottom of the page I was starting to understand and wanted more!

2. Maybe because I'm a writer I am so drawn to this? The idea of writing causing these alternate realities is not new, but the idea of someone, like Anna, being there to 'fix' things is definitely something new and so interesting!
I also really love how you even include shopping lists and birthday cards. When reading about your idea at first, and reading you write that they do shopping lists I was at first a bit daunted, I didn't know how you could do it. But reading the cards one, you really do have a talent and a good idea here!
3. Age group... hmm.. Well I'm 23 and I'm fascinated. I would think though young adult would probably be the age to go for ( I like to read a lot of young adult). However, just write it and see what a publisher thinks, I mean a good story is suitable for any age: look at Harry Potter!

4. In terms of adding and changing, my main query is the difference between Anna and Nathaniel, but that becomes more apparent as the story reads on. So I'd assume as you write it, the more you'll learn about them?

5. End wise - I think it does look like it is building up to Anna finding out where she comes from. So for example, her burning desire to find out, Nathaniel gets worried that if she does she'll leave him, but helps her nontheless. I kind of see one of those endings where she's really happy she finds out the truth, and starts to leave, and only realises the implications as she leaves that she'll be leaving Nathaniel? Then the next book/story is her trying to get back or something.
Sorry if that is out of place but that's kinda of where I'd see it going ? XD Idk.

6. && 7. Both these characters are perfect. From the short excerpts I read they definitely had their own voice, and that is so important. So yeah, no problems there.

8. I think you could include some explicit scenes, they can be taken out after all if you decide against them. I could just see them being a bit abashed about it all. Realistically, if they go into worlds of shopping lists, surely they'd find their way into scenes of that nature? It can be done tastefully anyway : )

9. Uhmm I think I covered all I had to say! I'm very excited to read more of it so I hope you continue with this idea!
Just looked at your website some more and I saw that those stories are written by others? Either way, the two characters really do have a voice that even others can pick up on.

Hope this helps, and not just a ton of nonsense!

[Turnilk]

1. In general, what do you think about this idea?
> its okay I guess. Though, I would wonder what happens to the story universes/worlds once the story is done. Do they restart from the beginning? If they do, does that mean the two characters have to go back and do their job all over again? Do the universes just end once the story is over? Do they only exist when someone is reading the story? If that is so wouldn't that mean the characters are more likely jumping through readers' minds rather than the stories themselves?

2. Is there anything that specifically stands out about the idea that you'd like to comment on?
> Not in particular. Though it does remind me a bit of two other works (see #9).

3. What age group do you think would be best to target?
(There is only one, supporting-character romance that I'm planning. Everything else is going to be action/suspense/character development/etc...)
> The content should determine this. For example, the movie Gladiator would not be a good thing to share with five year olds, and Dora the explorer would probably bore older people.

4. Anything you think I could change/add to what I've got so far to make it better?
> I'm sorry, but I do not have time at the moment to go through the links. Perhaps later I can answer this.

5. What type of ending would you expect/want this type of story to end with?
> I would expect the protagonists to end up happy in the end. That is what usually happens. Reguardless of how the ending turned out though, I would not want everything to be predictable along the course of the story. In the series "Avatar: the Last Airbender" I knew how the story would end, but along the way I was sometimes surprised by what happened in the episodes.

6. What do you think of Anna? Does she suit the story?
7. What do you think of Nathaniel? Does he suit the story?
> I'm sorry, but I do not have time at the moment to go through the links. Perhaps later I can answer these two.

8. What level of subject matter do you think would be appropriate? (In asking this I mean do you think Should I include very explicit scenes (not sexual) or do you think the writing should be softer and more closed off in this way?)
> Whatever you put in the story is up to you. Just keep in mind what audience you are going for while writing and what would be appropriate for them. An example is in my answer to #3.

9. Anything else you'd like to comment on?
> It reminds me a little bit of Ink Heart and Sliders.

[I_Write_Ivre]

I feel wary about these questions. It seems very much like your want us to plan the whole thing and the most popular answers determine the story.

It would be best if you asked these questions according to what you want, as the entire story hinges not on our decisions, but on you actively writing. Without passion for the story, you're not likely to finish the story--at least well. You won't bother to edit or analyze the story, or at least barely for the former.

The questions should be about whether you think Anna fits the story an how to make her fit or how to solve problems if she's absent and whether you think the ending works and how to make sure.

[Ella_Espestice]

Nutwin

So, I've got this idea for a story... I'm just going to write (very, very briefly) about it in the spoiler below.

"Whatever is written by humans, although unbeknownst to them, becomes a world of it's own - a sort of alternate-reality.
But these worlds are unstable, unfinished, and fall apart after their story is finished. Their characters do what is written, and rarely have free will.

Anna and her long-time friend Nathaniel travel from world to world, fixing blemishes and ensuring stories go as they were intended until the end.
Along the way, Anna discovers that she's not from a created world but from the "original" one. She and Nathaniel begin looking for clues as to who she was, where she was from, and why she's now trapped in these fake worlds instead of living her life in the real one."

Please take a look at Anna and Nathaniel's profiles and this FAQ before carrying on. It'll make more sense that way.
(If you want, there are also some stories written here about them.)

So above is the little blurp I've got on my character page.
What I'm thinking is in beginning I would work through Anna and Nathaniel's relationship (and his initial reluctance in joining her) by writing about one story in particular where Nathaniel gets to spend more time with Anna than he has in other lives. Then after he sees how important this is to her (and how his lives have really amounted to nothing, that he can find real purpose in helping her) moving onto one or two of their "adventures" fixing blemishes and finding clues and then after that Anna meeting the one who created her (the first part of the story ending there.)

I've got a couple of questions, and just to boost motivation if you'd like I will offer you 20k for every question you answer for me!
Even if you have time to just answer the first question, that'd mean so much to me!

From what you understand:
1. In general, what do you think about this idea?
2. Is there anything that specifically stands out about the idea that you'd like to comment on?
3. What age group do you think would be best to target?
(There is only one, supporting-character romance that I'm planning. Everything else is going to be action/suspense/character development/etc...)
4. Anything you think I could change/add to what I've got so far to make it better?
5. What type of ending would you expect/want this type of story to end with?
6. What do you think of Anna? Does she suit the story?
7. What do you think of Nathaniel? Does he suit the story?
8. What level of subject matter do you think would be appropriate? (In asking this I mean do you think Should I include very explicit scenes (not sexual) or do you think the writing should be softer and more closed off in this way?)
9. Anything else you'd like to comment on?


Thank you so much for taking the time to read all of this! It means the world to me. c:

Overall, I think your idea has a healthy balance of simplicity and complexity. It's simple enough to follow though you have plenty of wiggle room to keep things interesting by adding layers of depth with each story world.

I'm going to give you a generalized response to the rest of your questions though- here it goes:

If you know your audience, target them and keep things written for their level. If you can't decide on the audience then write the novel, give it a read through and then pick the audience after. As for your characters- if a character is written for a story then they should automatically fit the story as long as you maintain consistency with the your material. You also have to realize that your characters are going to grow with the story, if they don't then it allows some readers to raise the question on whether or not your characters were realistic and/or written well.

I can't think on what else to say... The rest of your questions seem a bit irrelevant. I also just signed up for Gaia today so that might be why I'm drawing a blank. I hope what I said helped!

[plasterbrain]

1. In general, what do you think about this idea?
I could see it working as a webcomic or a graphic novel series more than as standard prose. I think this is something that would benefit from more than one medium (i.e. verbal as well as visual)

3. What age group do you think would be best to target?
Adolescents. Seems like it'd be good fodder for escapist fiction, and adolescents love escapism!!

5. What type of ending would you expect/want this type of story to end with?
Classic Ghibli.

8. What level of subject matter do you think would be appropriate?
With this approach, softer material, definitely. By no means not sophisticated, but if you want to broach "mature" subjects then the whole thing has got to have that adult tone or it'll come off as heavy-handed and 2edgy.

[AurinJade]

I'm pretty sure I've seen this idea before. I mean, your specific idea. The character names even sound familiar. Did you use this for a former NaNo or something? I'm positive I've come across that synopsis in the past. I just can't remember where. Did you happen to post it somewhere else?

[Nutwin]

Lykashii

Thanks for answering the question! <3
I haven't publicly posted anything I've written yet, though I've got a couple short stories in the works at the moment. :) But thanks for reading what others have wrote, it makes me happy that you like it!

And hehe.. The ending I have planned is a little different than that, but yeah. c:

[Nutwin]

Turnilk

Thanks for the feedback! It's really appreciated. :)
The first question you answered raises some valid points though.
Normal humans just read the stories as normal. The world's aren't accessible to them, they just are.
When Anna and Nat reach the end of a story (it's explain in the FAQ link I provided) the world goes dark (it just.. ends). At this point Nat goes something he describes as "going to sleep" and then awakes an unknown amount of time later as someone else in another story.
Anna, however, has never stayed in a story long enough to watch it "end". As soon as they resolve the problem she immediately goes back into her safe haven (which is a journal she has on her at all times).

I hope that makes sense!

[Nutwin]

I_Write_Ivre

Ah! Please forgive me for coming off that way. I'm in no way giving the answers to these questions that much weight. For me they just stimulate thought and allow me to re-examine the plot I have and make sure there are none of the faults these lovely people are pointing out in them. I won't make any drastic change because of them.
When I finish class tonight I will probably come back and edit the questions, since it was quite early in the morning/late at night when I wrote them. Because it was so late I didn't get a chance to explain the whole story down, and thus the ending. I'll try to edit those in too when I come back later.

Thanks for responding to the thread though, the feedback is really appreciated.
I also took a look at your novel - It looks cool! :)
Did you self-publish?

[Lykashii]

Nutwin

Lykashii

Thanks for answering the question! <3
I haven't publicly posted anything I've written yet, though I've got a couple short stories in the works at the moment. :) But thanks for reading what others have wrote, it makes me happy that you like it!

And hehe.. The ending I have planned is a little different than that, but yeah. c:

Ah I know my post was a bit of a mess, I didn't realise until the end that others had wrote the story, but I really loved it!

[Nutwin]

plasterbrain

Thanks for the response!
It's funny that you mentioned verbal and visual, because I was thinking of making it more into a podcast/audio novel with a few art pieces to accompany it. (Instead of, as you said, just standard prose.) Do you think that would work?



But yeah! Super thanks for responding. c:

[Nutwin]

Ella_Espestice

Wow! Thank was really helpful!
Yeah, I've been having a difficult time picking an audience... So I might so just that - write it and see where it goes from there. Thanks for the character advise as well!

But yeah, thank you so much! And welcome to gaia. I hope you have fun.

[Nutwin]

AurinJade

Hmmm.... I don't think I've posted it anywhere other than gaia(I have several threads about it here). I mean, it's on my website and I have sent it to a few artist but that might be it?
I also talked to pukaberries on tumblr about it awhile ago. Those are the only places I could think it would be found.
Though if you remember where you might have heard it before, and it's not one of those, please let me know! haha.

(And I was going to do it for NaNo, but then at the last minute decided I wasn't ready to write it yet. So it wouldn't be there.)

[AurinJade]

Nutwin

AurinJade

Hmmm.... I don't think I've posted it anywhere other than gaia(I have several threads about it here). I mean, it's on my website and I have sent it to a few artist but that might be it?
I also talked to pukaberries on tumblr about it awhile ago. Those are the only places I could think it would be found.
Though if you remember where you might have heard it before, and it's not one of those, please let me know! haha.

(And I was going to do it for NaNo, but then at the last minute decided I wasn't ready to write it yet. So it wouldn't be there.)

No, wait, I think I remember now. Did you have a thread up about it in the writing shops forum? I think that's where I came across it.