Cutsie Mootsie
GinnyEvan
Cutsie Mootsie
GinnyEvan
I have a funny experience of eating too much food when it's all there presented to me and looking so good, then I puke. Something similar is bulimics who also throw up their food.
I would do something similar. I would starve all day, and as soon as I ate a 300 calorie dinner, I would purge it. Did your family know about this? Or any friends? How did it effect them? Was it an addiction?
The first few times, no one really noticed it, but then it started happening in front of people. I would run to the bathroom and be sick when they were just right there. I don't like to eat until later in the day, around dinner time. If I have more than one meal a day, it seems like a lot of food.
When did it stop, or are you currently continuing to purge? My issues are still here, I never stopped. I honestly don't plan on getting serious help until I'm down to my goal weight. As terrible as it sounds.
And if, during the course of treatment, you started to gain weight? Would you go back to that behavior to reach it again?
Everyone is aware that such behaviors are unhealthy, but do you know
how they actually affect the body?
It may interest you to know that anorexia and bulimia deprive the body of nutrition, inducing a lasting state of starvation. In this state, body mass drops as the body compensates for what would normally be gained via food consumption by converting materials within itself into their base proteins; in other words, it begins to break itself down and cannibalize its own parts in order of increasing vitality to the overal system. First, fats are broken down and used to supply energy to sustain vital functions. Next, muscles throughout the body are destroyed for the same purpose. Bones become weak and brittle as their marrow is drained to supply its own energetic content. The flow of chemical energy and nutrients is restricted throughout the body, weakening and slowly deteriorating everything within, including all major and minor organs, even the heart and brain.
All the while, the digestive system enters a specialized state in which anything that enters it is digested more quickly and thoroughly than usual, so that once you do begin eating again, the body gets straight to work repairing all the damage it had to do to itself to perpetuate basic life functions (although in bad enough cases, some damage is legitimately irreparable).
The reason the above question is so important is because, due to the processes I've just described, once you start treatment, you
will start gaining weight. It's going to happen and it can't be avoided, so no matter what, you have to decide: which do you value more, meeting your weight goal or preventing damage to the brain and every other part of your body?
You say it sounds "terrible," but in my opinion, that's too easy to say without truly considering what it means. You are literally choosing to induce a state in which your body is, at this very moment, destroying itself in a desperate attempt to survive.
It
is your choice, so don't take this as me going out of my way to be a d**k. I just want you to understand the decision you're making here.