Help? Getting started with a project

[brvan]

I've started writing on my free time , and lately I've had ALOT of time on my hands,. I started a book which I want to continue since my last laptop got destroyed, I lost all data and half a book manuscript was erased and now I decided to continue/ change it a bit. So far it's just a couple of notes on my phone as of some of the circumstances throughout the story and what I want to make of it. I want it to touch topics that aspects of the readers life in a sense that one could say "this is so me" or "I know exactly what this feels like" I want the reader to have a connection. My only flaw in this is that, It sounds like I'm writing a diary which I don't want to do. Since I have it in first person narrative, I need advise on how to make it sound more like a story with chronological orders but at the same time not sound like a diary.. The book I've been reading which I've been trying to mimic the style(in a way) would be "room" by Emma Donaghue. Thank you in advance xp

[Sir Icehawk]

How does it sound like a diary? Are you referring to often starting sentences with I? If so, change it up. Don't say "I saw Billy eat a rock." Say "Billy ate a rock." Don't say "I felt the door, and it was rough and poked my thumb." Say "The rough door poked my thumb."

Those were quick examples and naturally bad.

[brvan]

Sir Icehawk

How does it sound like a diary? Are you referring to often starting sentences with I? If so, change it up. Don't say "I saw Billy eat a rock." Say "Billy ate a rock." Don't say "I felt the door, and it was rough and poked my thumb." Say "The rough door poked my thumb."

Those were quick examples and naturally bad.

ive started using time and dates in which it sounds a bit like a diary; "While walking to the store i stumbled upon an old friend, Charles, I walked towards him with . . ." to me it sounds wrong when i re-read and try to revise.

[Sir Icehawk]

Do you normally write in first person? That could be playing its part.

You might put it any number of different ways.
On the way to the store, I bumped into Charles in the park.
I was heading to the store, but the milk would have to wait. There was just something I had to tell Charles.
Charles waved me over putting my trip to the store on hold.

My brain wants to nap, so I won't ramble on more examples.

You can include dates, days, and times if you want. It frames the scene. I've used it a little in some stories when I needed to stress the passage of time.

[brvan]

Sir Icehawk

Do you normally write in first person? That could be playing its part.

You might put it any number of different ways.
On the way to the store, I bumped into Charles in the park.
I was heading to the store, but the milk would have to wait. There was just something I had to tell Charles.
Charles waved me over putting my trip to the store on hold.

My brain wants to nap, so I won't ramble on more examples.

You can include dates, days, and times if you want. It frames the scene. I've used it a little in some stories when I needed to stress the passage of time.

Not exactly, I feel as if this book will be great (in my head) if its in first person.
but thank you for your help i see where you're coming from . . mrgreen

[Sir Icehawk]

You're working on the first draft. You're might get the "God this sucks!" and "this doesn't sound right" feelings from time to time, especially with longer projects. Just have to push through and get the story down. These bumps with lines just not feeling right you'll work out as you edit it. For now, enjoy the writing. smile