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Hey guys!
I was wondering if you would be willing to give some comments/feedback to this blog. It's a new one which hasn't been fully developed but would appreciate the opinions!

www.hazyremembrances.wordpress.com

edit:
Thank you to everyone who gave me feedback!
I'll send out trades accordingly in the near future!
Going to bed, i'll check the thread in future, thank you in advance!
DarknessofHeavenandDreams's avatar

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So far it looks like its just beginning.

I can't say if it's interesting or not at I don't know the theme yet, but it is better organized than many other blogs that don't give you the beginning, a theme, or index their pages.
DarknessofHeavenandDreams
So far it looks like its just beginning.

I can't say if it's interesting or not at I don't know the theme yet, but it is better organized than many other blogs that don't give you the beginning, a theme, or index their pages.
Thanks for your feedback!
Do you have any opinion on the writing itself?
DarknessofHeavenandDreams's avatar

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sakura_16_16
DarknessofHeavenandDreams
So far it looks like its just beginning.

I can't say if it's interesting or not at I don't know the theme yet, but it is better organized than many other blogs that don't give you the beginning, a theme, or index their pages.
Thanks for your feedback!
Do you have any opinion on the writing itself?


A few punctuation error, but overall pretty good for slice of life blogging.
lacheyenne's avatar

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i don't need the 10k. emotion_awesome ...i admit that the person who would bribe at 10k a review lured me through the front door, though. that being said, i have a few suggestions:

- your formatting is pretty accessible... although that it took me a moment to realize that you had more than one post up. it could be the fact that i'm an lj'er at heart and look to see the meat and history of posts in the main column rather than on one side or the other... so you can take that as you will.

- your sentences tend to be lengthy when not all of them need to be. i personally recommend that bloggers stick to shorter sentences, as the quick-paced writing tends to get others' interests going. you have many more commas than ought to be floating around in prose-space.

- i love the graphics. i'm assuming that you have them... not illegally? if you want to be a big-name blogger, not citing graphics sources could come back to bite you.

my favorite post is "the beginning", as it leaves me with more questions than answers (with a sort of wistful, bittersweet feeling). i also enjoyed the drug store employee bit, because a) i can relate and b) it makes you- the blogger- personable. a short "about me" section might accomplish the same thing, if the post is eventually buried under a superfluence of others. as darkness says, it's hard to sense a theme this early in the game... if you have none in mind, coming up with one will make your blog more "marketable"- again, if that's what you're going for. smile best of luck!
Jacklyna's avatar

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Starry Lemonade's avatar

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I like it! It looks organized, and there's something about the way you title things that grabs my attention. However, I found some posts a bit hard to follow, just because your sentences were run on. That's pretty easy to fix, if you rephrase some things. Other than that, I don't see anything wrong with it, and as someone who is surrounded by blogger classmates, I'd say your blog is one of the more interesting ones.
lacheyenne
i don't need the 10k. emotion_awesome ...i admit that the person who would bribe at 10k a review lured me through the front door, though. that being said, i have a few suggestions:

- your formatting is pretty accessible... although that it took me a moment to realize that you had more than one post up. it could be the fact that i'm an lj'er at heart and look to see the meat and history of posts in the main column rather than on one side or the other... so you can take that as you will.

- your sentences tend to be lengthy when not all of them need to be. i personally recommend that bloggers stick to shorter sentences, as the quick-paced writing tends to get others' interests going. you have many more commas than ought to be floating around in prose-space.

- i love the graphics. i'm assuming that you have them... not illegally? if you want to be a big-name blogger, not citing graphics sources could come back to bite you.

my favorite post is "the beginning", as it leaves me with more questions than answers (with a sort of wistful, bittersweet feeling). i also enjoyed the drug store employee bit, because a) i can relate and b) it makes you- the blogger- personable. a short "about me" section might accomplish the same thing, if the post is eventually buried under a superfluence of others. as darkness says, it's hard to sense a theme this early in the game... if you have none in mind, coming up with one will make your blog more "marketable"- again, if that's what you're going for. smile best of luck!

Thanks so much for your comments! This is all very helpful and I'll work on the things you pointed out!
I cited the photo source at the bottom of each post, I'm not really sure if there's a better way to go about that to be honest haha
I'm writing primarily for myself, but obviously having readers would be nice as well, the goal isn't necessarily driven by being marketable but i do understand/ wouldn't mind if that's where this went.
I liked the description of a "slice of life" blog, seems fitting as it's really whatever hits me as important or inspires some sort of writing. I'll work on having a more solid theme as the blog grows!

Are you sure about the 10k? I really don't mind!
Starry Lemonade
I like it! It looks organized, and there's something about the way you title things that grabs my attention. However, I found some posts a bit hard to follow, just because your sentences were run on. That's pretty easy to fix, if you rephrase some things. Other than that, I don't see anything wrong with it, and as someone who is surrounded by blogger classmates, I'd say your blog is one of the more interesting ones.

I'm getting a couple of the same things that people are pointing out, which is good because it makes it a priority to work on! I hadn't realized i tended to run on my sentences though I did know they always tended on the longer side. I'll work on being more concise!

And, thank you, it's a huge compliment that you found it interesting!
Jacklyna
Pending...

can't wait to hear your opinion!
I'll still be sending you out 10k once your opinion is complete! smile Just in case you were concerned.
Thanks in advance!
GreenInkling's avatar

Quotable Lunatic

It's quite professional looking, and I like the photos you chose. Are they stock photos? Just make sure you have permission to use them, or you could end up in a sticky situation.

It's good to use images to accompany your posts. Your writing style is short, clear, and uses lists and bolded subtitles, which is good for readers with shorter attention spans.

I would suggest for improvement: having an about page so readers know what exactly they can expect from your blog in the future, or give them reason to stay; a change of title, if you can--it doesn't stand out that much to me. You'll want something clever, something that ties into the theme of the blog, so people can remember it without having to log on to their feeder.

Hope that helps. c:
lacheyenne's avatar

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sakura_16_16
Thanks so much for your comments! This is all very helpful and I'll work on the things you pointed out!
I cited the photo source at the bottom of each post, I'm not really sure if there's a better way to go about that to be honest haha
I'm writing primarily for myself, but obviously having readers would be nice as well, the goal isn't necessarily driven by being marketable but i do understand/ wouldn't mind if that's where this went.
I liked the description of a "slice of life" blog, seems fitting as it's really whatever hits me as important or inspires some sort of writing. I'll work on having a more solid theme as the blog grows!

Are you sure about the 10k? I really don't mind!
wink 200% sure.

hmm... okay, knowing where to look, i see the photo credits. ...again, there is something streamlined and clean about the way you've set up the blog and i don't want to alter too much about it, but the reason why folks may not see the photo credit is because it's at the bottom of a post, right above an advertisement. it "blends in", you could say. even if a reader gets down to the end of the post, have you noticed that you tend not to see the text nearest an ad? especially when the text is a highlighted "press me" or something or another? the only places i might relocate credits at that point may be a single, separate "credits" page (like an "about me" page), a link as you've got it but at the very beginning of the post (under tags, before the prose), or the link as text on the image itself. my personal vote is with the second, as it seems least intrusive.

haha- well, if the blog is more for pleasure than profit, you don't necessarily need a "theme", but a theme will make any blog extremely cohesive. i'm of the opinion that there are two types of marketable blogs: the content blog and the blogger's blog. either the blogger's content is the focus (wherein you have a theme- like cakewrecks, cat GIFs, or politics)... or the blogger him-/herself is the focus (the "slice of life" journal, where the blogger is an interesting person whose life we want to learn more about). i've read the latter in the form of bloggers learning to overcome some life obstacle or another (e.g.: being single, being depressed/ill, being ____ and misunderstood by the world, etc.), which could also be read as a theme, although the blogger is given greater leeway to diverge from the "theme", in this case.

if you like "slice of life", i'd suggest going the personal/personable route. use specific anecdotes from your daily life to drive home a point. they will sure engage the reader's interest. smile

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