Yes. I can't always keep myself in my little field of green grass on a hill sitting on a rock with my laptop drinking in peace while the fighting is going on elsewhere. There are times when I have to come down to the dark and dirty and frightening by getting into the minds of my darker, evil or woe-begotten, suffering characters, such as the victim of a murder or of circumstances which if I faced in reality I would certainly lose my mind (particularly those of a sexual nature).
(Yush, you've gotten a rare peek at the silver strands of the web in my head.)
A part of me, a small part, is securely grounded in reality (or rather believes there's no such thing as anything supernatural including god, the devil, demons, ghosts, monsters, vampires, etc...) and knowing that whatever happens in my head, though it might be real to me because I perceive it, cannot (or for the time being isn't going to) happen to me and I'm safe outside of my head (which makes it really, really hard for me to get scared (which is why I respect Stephen King so much because he scares the crap out of me) during scary movies and books or even walking around outside at night (which is probably a bad thing). That or my I-should-be-concerned Button is broken.
Usually I'm not bothered by my own plots or events. I've accepted my role as narrator and while I may feel bad for certain characters or situations, I try to avoid meddling. Things that would upset me I tend to get a perverse sort of glee out of the hopes of upsetting someone else with, when they read it. (Sick, I know.)
All that said, there are one or two exceptions. One in particular is a prince I had to kill off, which I felt terrible about. I went so far as to try and see if I could work his ghost or long-lost twin in, as some silly form of substitute. I settled for letting my displeasure over his passing be expressed through another character, instead. His death wasn't necessary for the plot perse, but to establish the rules of its world.
Yeah.. I was writing a scene with some many injures.. i started to feel my body ache and I even though that I was actually bleeding... I actually had to stop writing a scene where I feel my something cut through my my stomach...
I never get this when writing, but certainly when I read back some of my stuff I get disturbed, especially with my more graphic rape/torture scenes. I then sit in a corner and wonder what the hell is wrong with my brain that it manages to come up with this stuff.
It seems I'm not alone in being disturbed by my own writing.
As that did cause physical problems with me, I find myself asking "If that occurs again, how will I handle it? (As the case in Project Ignition that triggered this is "only the tip of the iceberg"wink"-- so I've started coming up with some solutions. In my case, I'm going to spam watch/read a certain scene in one of the components of my crossover fic until that becomes NOTHING to me, in short, immunity through "Crosses the line twice". (In case you're wondering, the scene in the component I'm referring to is none other than the Infamous Marimo HeadCHOMP scene from Muv Luv Alternative... when that no longer disturbs me, I know I've accomplished my mission.) (Although, I'm not going to stop writing just to gain this immunity).
So, for those who do encounter this issue, I've got another question for you:
Just how do you cope?
Do you seek immunity, like me, or do you find some other solution?