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I am writing a story, and I'm pretty new to writing and would love some critique from good writers. It'd be much appreciated!

Here it is: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=99300




3nodding
kimaaaaaayx3's avatar

Interesting Browser

The Spoon Himself
I am writing a story, and I'm pretty new to writing and would love some critique from good writers. It'd be much appreciated!

Here it is: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=99300




3nodding


Tis good my Spoon.


emotion_bigheart
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY heart heart heart
Firlodge_3's avatar

Invisible Codger

It seems like it could be really good....with a little improvement. Just hit the enter button a couple of times between paragraphs for net-reading.
Kao Cereal's avatar

Partying Fatcat

SPOON. Geud jawb, I didn't know you wrote schtuff. c:
*high five

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