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Does this actually interest you, or are you here because you're bored out of your mind?

Interesting, yes 0.64523209495163 64.5% [ 7937 ]
Not at all...I'm bored out of my mind 0.35476790504837 35.5% [ 4364 ]
Total Votes:[ 12301 ]
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I have no problem with god.It's his fan clubs that bother me.
Sleepingwghosts
Eagles may soar, but weasels are never sucked into jet engines

I swear I've heard that from somewhere else.

I don't even know what your tallking about, you seem to be telling me something about how you scared a grand total of two crows today and I'm not sure what significance this has at all; but I'm listening and I always will.

I just made that up, but I had to contribute something. blaugh
All seemed to have returned to its normal, pastoral, happy state.... but then, they noticed that the cheesecake had blood on it.
"In retrospect, we probably should have turned off the lawnmower before we put the cats in the pool."

"Nobody move! I dropped my elephant!"

"Look, just give Brian the brains and slip through the wall back to China. Kate can find the purple thing."

"I'm sorry. You seem to have missed the parked Jeep between us and our sugary goal. Also, I have no money."
He checked the door but the clown was still there.

Excuse me, but I have to fight that penguin.

Sometimes I wonder about you, cow.

to go into a musical arrow The moon'll come out, tomorrow!
Ok this is random but I use it alot:
"HOORAY INSANITY!"
When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand oranges. Show life who's boss.
Well This Sucks
"Cause of death: Gravel."


((Funny story. In third grade, I was hanging upside down over pea gravel. I fell. My mom had to postpone Christmas pictures for a month. It was ugly.))

Real conversations:

Me: Do you know...the muffin man?
My best friend (with a shifty look on her face): Uh...maybe.
Me: Does [her boyfriend] know that you know...the muffin man?
Best friend (still shifty): Uh...maybe not.
((Whatever. It was funny at the time.))

(Remember, Boyfriend's last name is Hicks.)
Me: Well, you could just look up his number in the phone book.
Her: You kidding? Do you know how many Hicks there are in [mid-sized town in Georgia]?

THAT was funny. Read it again if you didn't get it.

And my personal favorite for melodrama:

"Fate...don't mess with fate, son. Because if you mess with fate, it'll mess back."
"My roommate thinks that heaven must have loudspeakers: St. Peter, please call 239... St. Peter, 239"
I've got a two line thing that I can't think of anything else to add to them.

I can't stand all this stress
This growing pressure on my chest
I have none! wink
I had this line stuck in my head for ages:

"To which the proper reply is 'What's for dinner?'."

It came from when I was reading and my dad asked me, "How was your day?". I wasn't paying attention, and so I replied "What's for dinner?". Ta-da.
"No, stop. Where are six teenagers going to take a charter bus at three in the morning?" -A chaperone actually said this once.

"I have candy!" (Beat while she hands some out.)
"What the hell? These are asprin!" -Ditto.

"Fear the fork! For with it I shall stab you in the butt!" - Yeah, someone actually said this one to.

"Alright, you're freshmen, so we will explain this to you. We are seniors- therefore we out rank you. You are not allowed to be rude or to contradict us- you aren't allowed to breath our air, you unicellular subclasses of barely evolved plankton-like sludge." -I said this one.
I have one and then I will leave for I have a previous engagement. But it is very weird. I want to make a story with it, but I can't think of anything. Here it is:

"No... no, I won't stop! You can't make me!"
Ah, i said this last night....

"Wouldn't y' know it. We excavate him from the sink and the lil bugger has the gall to show up in the bathtub!"

I was talking about a spider, but just imagine how funny that would be in a story....

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