Real life conversation with a customer at work. I was ringing up their items, which included Halloween costumes and such for her children.
Customer (to her 5 year old son who was heading for the bathroom): Remember, if anyone in there tries anything with you, run out making as much noise as possible. (child leaves, she turns to me) Can't be too careful nowadays, you know?
Me: Uh-huh (continuing ringing)
Customer: Isn't that costume cute? My son just loves Halloween. Once we hit October, it's all he talks about.
Me: Kinda funny...
Customer: I know, he's so precious!
Me: I wasn't talking about that.
Customer: Oh?
Me: I just think it's funny that you gave your son instructions on what to do in case of a *****, but you're encouraging him to love Halloween. It's the one time of the year where children are encouraged to go up to complete strangers and ask for candy, usually at night, where it's harder for the parents to watch them. (still ringing as I'm saying this, yay multitasking!)
Customer: Um...
Me: Almost makes you paranoid, huh? (s**t-eating walmart grin)
Plus: She didn't report me to management
Minus: The kid is probably not going trick-or-treating this year.