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It seems like there's some insinuation in this thread that if someone has a different opinion about age gaps in relationships, then that someone is a prig. But I disagree: what's wrong with having a differing opinion, as long as that opinion was subject to contemplation by the person who has it? If one isn't willing to accept and consider an opinion that is different than their own, then one is just as bad as a prig. Not everyone has the same thought process after all. We're human, and those of us who think about what we believe don't always think alike. If we want to be taken seriously, we need to learn how to respect and accept that reality.
Saying that, I've always thought of prigs as people who are zealous towards their own concept of propriety without questioning it. Perhaps they don't question it because they feel like it's too perfect to critique; maybe they don't because while they fight to express it so much, they rarely think about what it actually means to them and to others. Those kinds of people are prigs.
As for your friends, OP, they don't really sound like prigs to me. They just sound like they haven't had a real chance to question why they think your pairing is acceptable or not. Perhaps, in that case, you could write your pairing in a way that causes your readers to really consider how well they work together (emphasize more on their personalities and interactions maybe). Put your readers in a position that gives them the chance to contemplate and consider their own ideas of love and relationships.
I like large age gaps in relationships when reading a story, but only when it's realistic. I have this big issue where I see some writers not consider the flaws of two lovers with substantially different ages. There's going to be conflict, one way or another, where there's a big difference in age. It always happens at some level. So in my opinion, age is sometimes just a number, but most of the time, it really isn't.
Another thing: it's important to remember the kind of readers we have today. A lot of them have a different concept of childhood in comparison to people in the past. Most people's concepts of childhood now of days is that a child matures slower than they used to years and years ago. Our childhood lasts longer today, and as a result, a lot of people wouldn't find it appropriate for people under legal age (or even just around legal age) to be lovers to people who are much older. It doesn't fit into general concepts of what's acceptable in many modern societies. Not saying anything is wrong with the standards we have today, but I'm just making a point.
But that's how society works: ideas of values change over time. They even oscillate. But as writers, we have to learn how to be critical and objective so we don't allow ourselves to fall victim to propriety within our writing, be it fiction or non-fiction. If we do that, then we can encourage our readers to critically think outside of the box, too. It's not about trying to change people's minds; leave that decision to them. It's about inspiring people to think beyond what they've known, to help them create opinions. If you can do that, then I'd say you've accomplished what a lot of writers struggle with. So write about your pairing if it's what you want, but always keep in mind your potential readers. You don't always have to please them, but if you want readers, you have to be somewhat adaptable.
tl:dr
Don't judge your readers so hastily. Give them a chance to form their own opinion through your story, even if it still disagrees with your own; not everyone is going to agree with you, and as a writer, you'll have to get used to that a lot and accept it for what it is. Keep in mind modern concepts of childhood and maturity, and always work to inspire your readers to think outside of the box.
PS: have a link to your story? ♥ I don't know if you've posted or anything in this thread (I looked but couldn't find anything, though I could've missed it). I'd like to read it when I get the chance.
Took me awhile to read the whole comment. It's nearly midnight here and my brain and eyes are fried.
Having a different opinion is not a problem. It's how you go around it. They scream, "EW! GROSS! YUCK!" without even bothering to listen to my reasoning behind it,
I mean it's not like I'm writing a story along the lines of "Lolita." and being a bit self righteous with the way they phrase their rants.
Most of the conflicts are in part two of the story since in the first part they were in honeymoon mode.
And yeah, there's definitely a lot of difference between present and past in view of whether a woman is mature enough for marriage or relationship or not. In the first story, her aunt is constantly trying to get her married because she's 17 and still unattached. But when I use present day settings, there's rarely any pressure for it unless the girl is desperate for a boyfriend.
And the link is in my siggie. Look for Esmeralda; Beginnings. It's not that great. Really. I put up this version on Wattpad but I'm doing an entire rewrite for the iBookstore.
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Wow, I really do suck at self promotion.
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