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Oh lawd, did Pirate change her name? I recognized your style immediately, but the SN confuses me.
The idea's really cute, and she's got good body language. The costume's good so far, too. It looks like you're going to put a lot of detail into this.
A few things bother me. Do you still have the underdrawing for your current sketch? I'd like to see what you put down for the frame. It almost looks like you were relying really heavily on a reference that wasn't too accurate... the shape of the torso's good, and the arms have a realistic form to 'em, but this all falls apart at the waist. See, right now, she's a little too top-heavy... a girl with a bust that big needs some hips to match. Right now, her hips are kinda thin, and they melt into her torso like a shapeless blob. Women's hips-- especially those with more robust, hourglass figures that would match the top you gave her-- are rarely without definition. Everything about the lower half of a woman's torso reflects the hips in some way-- whether it's how the muscles sit on 'em or the curve of the hips themselves. Remember to have them fan out from where the navel should be, and that there aren't any bones in that area between the ribs and navel, so there should be a definite inward curve there.
Another thing is the placement of the crotch. It should be right on the centerline, but it seems to be skewed at a weird angle in relation to her torso.
Judging from your previous work, I'm guessing you want to make her as sexy as possible, so I'd suggest fixing up her butt, too-- making it a tad higher up, with a tighter, more rounded cheeks. You might accentuate this more by giving her a bit of a whale tail with that thong. ;{) While I'm looking at the backview, I think that the shoulderblade on our right should also be visible, since the shoulder on our right is pulling back a bit to hold up the dress.
I'm loving her body language. The tilt of her hips and shoulders are definitely sexy, and the way the head is turned is very pensive. The figure in the mirror seems a little unbalanced, but I think it is only because of the angle of the mirror in relation to the figure.
The hand also bothers me a bit...it seems like it's curled around something, but there's nothing there. Be careful with hand gestures-- they're just as expressive as faces. I'd suggest giving her something to hold onto (if you weren't going to already), or moving that hand onto her hip. I think moving it onto her hip would make some groovy space with the shape of her arm-- it'd offset all the action going on on the right side.
Sorry that there's no redline-- I'll try to draw one up later. I haven't slept in over 24 hours, so I'm not really thinking correctly at the moment. >_>;;
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