Dear Nicolae

[scullylam]

I don't know what to title this thread... But... can you please give me a hug Nicolae?

[NPC] Nicolae

I know this is an odd request and I am not going into oc and otp and such.. I am going to talk real life for a second.....

I am a fan of Nicolae. A non-existent human being. I like him because he is an ideal. How some have Mr. Darcy, I have Nicolae. Nicolae is who I think of to be comforted by.... *holds back tears* I feel as though my heart is broken again. All of the pieces of my heart are on the ground. I am unable to pick up every single piece so my heart is shaped like a really crappy one, with scotch tape in areas..... I give pieces of my heart to family, friends.. and a few hours ago I got a message that I hope wasn't real... It was all a bad dream.

I was told to not dwell or think about it but... I want to cry more. Everything is meaningful to me. And I don't let go easily. I don't want to lose friendships because I care a lot.... and who can I turn to if... I can't take this event seriously now. I can't even look at my pink avatar... I don't open up to everyone but here I am, showing myself...

I get up soon, if this was a normal night for me. But I been up since the the message. I tried to lay here and sleep and I am unable to. I don't know how I will get to my only class this morning but I know I will have to try very hard. I don't even know if I will cry more today... Just... once I start crying, I can't stop until my eyes are too tired to even tear up....

In regards of this... I might not be hanging around Gaia as much as I have the past few days... I can't say for certain but as a precaution... so......... I can only hope Nicolae can fulfill my request.. Life is hard and mine has so many deadlines... and... Gaia did ease up things for me. Gaia made me forget my worries but... I don't know how I can cope with what happened.... *holding back tears harder*



No need to reply everyone. I might not reply back... Um... I was planning to get online once class is over and I am back home.. so I will keep that promise. And I'll try to smile though deep down I'm not. I'm sorry...

[Squeak3rz]

I know how you feel , honestly .

[scullylam]

Sqw33kerzz

I know how you feel , honestly .

really? to some of it or all? *not in a festive mood so went for a sad avatar*

[Squeak3rz]

scullylam

Sqw33kerzz

I know how you feel , honestly .

really? to some of it or all? *not in a festive mood so went for a sad avatar*

You might not believe me , but yes all of it . It's gone so far as me making up stories of Nicolae and myself being together as friends and then as more. Ik it sounds weird but that is only way I stopped cutting, because Nicu gave me a sense of happiness in life. *hugs * :/ I'm sorry

[scullylam]

Sqw33kerzz

scullylam

Sqw33kerzz

I know how you feel , honestly .

really? to some of it or all? *not in a festive mood so went for a sad avatar*

You might not believe me , but yes all of it . It's gone so far as me making up stories of Nicolae and myself being together as friends and then as more. Ik it sounds weird but that is only way I stopped cutting, because Nicu gave me a sense of happiness in life. *hugs * :/ I'm sorry

emotion_hug

i used nicu in the same sort of way... until i realized i have feelings for rl people... nicolae took a back seat but now.... nicolae would seem like a crutch to an extent.. but he isn't.

*tries to not cry about stuff* sorry... i am still really emotional. and i can't really explain where my mind was when i was driving home... at least i am home in one piece.. sweatdrop

[Squeak3rz]

scullylam

Sqw33kerzz

scullylam

Sqw33kerzz

I know how you feel , honestly .

really? to some of it or all? *not in a festive mood so went for a sad avatar*

You might not believe me , but yes all of it . It's gone so far as me making up stories of Nicolae and myself being together as friends and then as more. Ik it sounds weird but that is only way I stopped cutting, because Nicu gave me a sense of happiness in life. *hugs * :/ I'm sorry

emotion_hug

i used nicu in the same sort of way... until i realized i have feelings for rl people... nicolae took a back seat but now.... nicolae would seem like a crutch to an extent.. but he isn't.

*tries to not cry about stuff* sorry... i am still really emotional. and i can't really explain where my mind was when i was driving home... at least i am home in one piece.. sweatdrop

Yeah , I hope everything gets better for you soon . I'm here for you . Not as a fellow fan girl but as a friend. It's ok to be emotional , hell I'm crying a little myself , just remember , you're not alone

[scullylam]

Sqw33kerzz

scullylam

Sqw33kerzz

scullylam

Sqw33kerzz

I know how you feel , honestly .

really? to some of it or all? *not in a festive mood so went for a sad avatar*

You might not believe me , but yes all of it . It's gone so far as me making up stories of Nicolae and myself being together as friends and then as more. Ik it sounds weird but that is only way I stopped cutting, because Nicu gave me a sense of happiness in life. *hugs * :/ I'm sorry

emotion_hug

i used nicu in the same sort of way... until i realized i have feelings for rl people... nicolae took a back seat but now.... nicolae would seem like a crutch to an extent.. but he isn't.

*tries to not cry about stuff* sorry... i am still really emotional. and i can't really explain where my mind was when i was driving home... at least i am home in one piece.. sweatdrop

Yeah , I hope everything gets better for you soon . I'm here for you . Not as a fellow fan girl but as a friend. It's ok to be emotional , hell I'm crying a little myself , just remember , you're not alone

crying emotion_hug

[Squeak3rz]

scullylam

Sqw33kerzz

scullylam

Sqw33kerzz

scullylam

Sqw33kerzz

I know how you feel , honestly .

really? to some of it or all? *not in a festive mood so went for a sad avatar*

You might not believe me , but yes all of it . It's gone so far as me making up stories of Nicolae and myself being together as friends and then as more. Ik it sounds weird but that is only way I stopped cutting, because Nicu gave me a sense of happiness in life. *hugs * :/ I'm sorry

emotion_hug

i used nicu in the same sort of way... until i realized i have feelings for rl people... nicolae took a back seat but now.... nicolae would seem like a crutch to an extent.. but he isn't.

*tries to not cry about stuff* sorry... i am still really emotional. and i can't really explain where my mind was when i was driving home... at least i am home in one piece.. sweatdrop

Yeah , I hope everything gets better for you soon . I'm here for you . Not as a fellow fan girl but as a friend. It's ok to be emotional , hell I'm crying a little myself , just remember , you're not alone

crying emotion_hug

emotion_hug

[scullylam]

[NPC] Nicolae

[Braze_Koal]

scullylam

I am sorry, sweetheart. I really do hope he replies to you.

[xXAzarielXx]

Shoot for the moon...

i hope you get your wish scully emotion_bigheart

Even if you miss you'll land among the stars...

[scullylam]

Braze_Koal

scullylam

I am sorry, sweetheart. I really do hope he replies to you.

xXAzarielXx

Shoot for the moon...

i hope you get your wish scully emotion_bigheart

Even if you miss you'll land among the stars...

thanks you two. it seems i missed nicu again but he only did the announcement. sweatdrop

[Braze_Koal]

scullylam

I am sorry. I believe the announcements are all Automated. I believe they are all scheduled to be out at a certain time even if the one posting them is actually online or not. He might be on later.

[scullylam]

Braze_Koal

scullylam

I am sorry. I believe the announcements are all Automated. I believe they are all scheduled to be out at a certain time even if the one posting them is actually online or not. He might be on later.

ah. that makes sense.

yeah, that would be good if he be on.

*goes makes lunch*


and... is it wrong to feel... empty... numb? i think i am in denial about the message.... like it was all a bad dream...

[Braze_Koal]

scullylam

I am sure he will be on sooner or later.

And no when something sad happens it is natural to feel like that. You are not in the wrong.