"Even if it's early in your relationship, don't be afraid to get the name of your partner tattooed on your body. If they break your heart, you can always write "sucks" underneath it"
"why do you have so many children?"
"Sex pheromones are your #1 tool for attracting the opposite sex. Load up by rubbing against unwashed animals. (Hint: you can find them at the pet store)."
"why can't I have a body like you?"
"Compliment your date on his or her laughter by comparing it to the beautiful cry of the duck."
"Louie...where is Louie?"
"Oysters are an aphrodisiac. Always have a few in your pockets."
"I love you"
"Preparing a romantic meal for your date is always a good gesture, but don't mess up your clothes and get all sweaty running around your neighborhood trying to tackle a goose. Just go to the store! (A policeman helped me out with this one.)"
"Diedirch, are you there?"
"Showering washes away your natural pheromones, which are vital to attracting mates. I prefer a nice dust bath!"
whee oh Diedrich, thank you for the advice!!! emotion_bigheart I loves you