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Besulalea's avatar

Cheery Explorer

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What's the best Valentine's Day gift for a fictional character?

Anxiety about dating? Ask your doctor to put you under full general anesthesia for the duration of the date.

It made me lol! xd
Inchidou's avatar

Questionable Informer

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How do you get a date?

Figure out your best facial feature and accentuate it with lots of glittery lipstick.

....Diedrich.......
Passion Nova's avatar

Versatile Lover

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An example of true love?

Diedrich: Destruction derbies can be romantic. Point to two of the cars slamming together and liken it to your hearts, but change the subject when the cars start smoking.


...lol.
koromyst's avatar

Eloquent Gawker

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Can I do the spidey kiss?
"There is a popular rumor that you can do whatever crimes you want on Leap Day and the cops can't arrest you. It's not true. Just take your partner on a date. Attempt no crime sprees."

emotion_awesome

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Stitching Spider's avatar

Playful Phantom

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I asked (out of pure shitz 'n giggles)
"I don't know what 69 means, tell me?"
He said
"Preparing a romantic meal for your date is always a good gesture, but don't mess up your clothes and get all sweaty running around your neighborhood trying to tackle a goose. Just go to the store! (A policeman helped me out with this one.)"


He at least knew it had to do with eating lol
Mischievieous Takaton's avatar

Chatty Vampire

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My question to Diedrich:

You fat slob. Do you care about anyone besides yourself?

Diedrich's answer: Forgot to bring a gift? Your date's couch is probably full of change. Grab it when they leave the room and come up flush as an oil tycoon.


What? Seriously?

I guess I should expect nothing less from a creature the color of bio-hazardous waste. >_>
FaereMage's avatar

Sparkly Shapeshifter

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Question: Are you having a Happy Valentine's Day?

Answer: Even if it's early in your relationship, don't be afraid to get the name of your partner tattooed on your body. If they break your heart, you can always write "sucks" underneath it.
StrawberryWisp's avatar

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Question: What to do?

Diedrich: Loud, pulsing music naturally builds arousal, but if that's not available then rhythmic yelling works just as well.

emotion_jawdrop

Lmao.
Kamen rider skull 15's avatar

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forever alone
aryal_glorious's avatar

Smoker

Dominatrix LaDeaux
Do girls like cupcakes?

Quote:
If you feel your romantic partner is becoming distant, leave derogatory graffitti in public places to make sure they don't have any other options.


That sounds so abusive. stare

yes it does but it sounds fun too.
aryal_glorious's avatar

Smoker

0_o-kori
I asked "where should I go on a date?"
he answered: "Make your date the center of attention-- tell the waitstaff it's your date's birthday, then leave when everyone starts singing."

yeah. that is what caused my divorce from my 2nd husband. it was my birthday. 3 of my kids crawled under the table & cried while i sat red faced until they were done then i grabbed the one still in a carrier & the ones under the table & left. i filed for divorce the day after. so i don't think that is a good idea. BTW i also sued that douchebag for child support totaling more than $100,000. so yeah, making your date the center of attention is NOT a good idea.
Cookie on Fire's avatar

Dangerous Sex Symbol

Do you love me?

Answer: Everybody's favorite subject is themselves. Prepare a full surveillance dossier on your date!
IXI Kenichi IXI's avatar

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Mayor Gravity's avatar

Questionable Borg

aryal_glorious
0_o-kori
I asked "where should I go on a date?"
he answered: "Make your date the center of attention-- tell the waitstaff it's your date's birthday, then leave when everyone starts singing."

yeah. that is what caused my divorce from my 2nd husband. it was my birthday. 3 of my kids crawled under the table & cried while i sat red faced until they were done then i grabbed the one still in a carrier & the ones under the table & left. i filed for divorce the day after. so i don't think that is a good idea. BTW i also sued that douchebag for child support totaling more than $100,000. so yeah, making your date the center of attention is NOT a good idea.
It wasn't a date but me and x-boyfriend were at an anime convention and they had a Live Rocky Horror Picture Show at it, so we went, his mother tagged along because it her favorite film, but it was her 40th birthday at the time, I found some random usher and he had everyone sing Happy Birthday to her, she almost killed me, but it was well worth it.
heart emotion_bigheart heart I told Diedrich that I am in love with him, then asked if he would please be my Valentine. heart emotion_bigheart heart


He replied:
Quote:
Prior to a romantic ostrich ride together, consider having a crafty date night where you decorate each other's protective facemasks. (Ostriches can turn their heads around and are likely to peck at their rider's face and neck.)

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