There Are No Fat Vampires In Twilight

[Belethiel]

I found this article, and it got me thinking about how being overweight and attractive is impossible in the Twi-verse.

Considering that many people still find fuller figures attractive.... why in the hell shouldn't there be fat vampires if they use their beauty to seduce victims?

Meyer was just too small-minded to think being fat was to be unattractive in everyone else's eyes and decided to bend with whatever the media told her. Thinness is not the basic setting for human attraction. (That's more about symmetry and health, really. :3 )

There is the stable excuse that if vampires have a metabolism similar to humans, yes, they should be thin because blood is not very nutritious. But, in Meyerpires, they don't have that excuse because their bodies are frozen in time. And come on, don't tell me a fat person has never been turned into a vampire! Statistically, that is unrealistic, especially if the vampires are from a country with a high obesity rate. Why would biology conform to societal norms? That's flat out impossible and stupid because norms change from time period to time period and place to place. Nature loves diversity, and different body types could help vampires adapt and survive. I think fat vampires wouldn't have a problem getting food, especially in a place where thinness is considered unatractive. I also think chubby chasersare numerous enough to be a good food source. emotion_awesome All the fat vampires would have to do is hang out in a chubby chaser bar, drive the person they picked up home, and then drink their blood.

[Mechromancer4Life]

Using logic to figure out something about Twilight is like stabbing yourself to prove you bleed Hawaiin Punch. The only truth you end up with is that you should have just bought the Hawaiin Punch. That also applies to Twilight. You should buy Hawaiin Punch instead of Twilight. It's gooood stuff.

[Belethiel]

CocaineFueledRants

Using logic to figure out something about Twilight is like stabbing yourself to prove you bleed Hawaiin Punch. The only truth you end up with is that you should have just bought the Hawaiin Punch. That also applies to Twilight. You should buy Hawaiin Punch instead of Twilight. It's gooood stuff.

What was I trying to "figure out"? I was bringing up a point of discussion, that Stephanie Meyer is too ignorant or stupid to think about anybody outside of "thin, white, wealthy". There has been plenty of discussion about the last two in the list, but I find the fact her vampires are always thin to be weird, considering how her vampirisim works in the Twi-verse. In case if I didn't make my points clear, I'll go back and edit my post tomorrow morning. Right now, I'm tired and I have a headache, so I probably just rambled instead of writing an intended mini-essay/discussion prompt.

And, because you're new here, you should know most of this forum's regs are antis. We hate Twilight and think its fun to pick apart poor literature. For me, as a young writer, this is a learning thing.

[Real Fake Doors]

[Belethiel]

Lineoleum

I was talking about the Twilight vampires. :3 I'm reading the comments in the article I found and I know that they exist.

[Real Fake Doors]

When I lived in Forks, there weren't exactly a lot of superthin people, especially white people. There's a candy shop, 2 Chinese restaurants right across from each other, a Mexican restaurant, a burger joint, and the gas station's fried chicken. All very close together on the main street. It's a small town. And rednecks love to eat.
So, unless they eat the caribou that wander around, those vampires must be eating quite a bit of cholesterol.



I don't know where I'm going with that. Point is, those hamburgers were yummy.
I'm not saying everyone in Forks is fat. Just the tourists.

[abby_lovely]

Lineoleum

When I lived in Forks, there weren't exactly a lot of superthin people, especially white people. There's a candy shop, 2 Chinese restaurants right across from each other, a Mexican restaurant, a burger joint, and the gas station's fried chicken. All very close together on the main street. It's a small town. And rednecks love to eat.
So, unless they eat the caribou that wander around, those vampires must be eating quite a bit of cholesterol.



I don't know where I'm going with that. Point is, those hamburgers were yummy.
I'm not saying everyone in Forks is fat. Just the tourists.

rofl rofl rofl

That is a good point, like vampires only freaking bite skinny people....... unless thy suck out fat as well as blood in the twilight series.

[Belethiel]

Lineoleum

When I lived in Forks, there weren't exactly a lot of superthin people, especially white people. There's a candy shop, 2 Chinese restaurants right across from each other, a Mexican restaurant, a burger joint, and the gas station's fried chicken. All very close together on the main street. It's a small town. And rednecks love to eat.
So, unless they eat the caribou that wander around, those vampires must be eating quite a bit of cholesterol.



I don't know where I'm going with that. Point is, those hamburgers were yummy.
I'm not saying everyone in Forks is fat. Just the tourists.

I knew you lived in a place called Forks, but I didn't know it was that Forks! So, in other words, it's nothing like book or movie!Forks?

Another reg will probably quote you with a bunch of questions about Forks now. xD

[Crazy Valentine]

There should be fat vampires by those standards, also going by what Lineoleum says, most of the vamps in Eclipse should have been fatties.

[Destined Savior]

Here's the main question: What if Bella was fat?

Just throwing it out there.

Okay, back to the topic, do you really think Meyer would ever do such a thing like thrown in a bunch of fat vampires into the Twilight series? That would ruin her view of perfection, happiness, and whatever she believes in.
Not that I care because I'm not exactly a skinny-mini either and I'm not interested in caring at the moment.

[Belethiel]

NightfallDuet

Here's the main question: What if Bella was fat?

Just throwing it out there.

Okay, back to the topic, do you really think Meyer would ever do such a thing like thrown in a bunch of fat vampires into the Twilight series? That would ruin her view of perfection, happiness, and whatever she believes in.
Not that I care because I'm not exactly a skinny-mini either and I'm not interested in caring at the moment.

Actually, that would've been kind of awesome, and it would've given her a reason to have low self esteem... not that if you're fat you should have low self esteem. Maybe Edward could've came along and made her feel beautiful, just the way she is, and actually helped build her up instead of talking down to her all the time.

Nope, I'm just saying there should have been, by the (flimsy) logic her vampires operate on.

[Crazy Valentine]

NightfallDuet

Here's the main question: What if Bella was fat?

Just throwing it out there.

Okay, back to the topic, do you really think Meyer would ever do such a thing like thrown in a bunch of fat vampires into the Twilight series? That would ruin her view of perfection, happiness, and whatever she believes in.
Not that I care because I'm not exactly a skinny-mini either and I'm not interested in caring at the moment.

Bella is fat if you go by the the fact that Bella is Meyer. But of course Meyer couldn't have fat vamps, after all, Meyerpires are the absolute pinnacle of godhood on earth, and even if Meyerpires have a tint of pigment other than completely white, they're evil, more on the line of devils and demons.

[Belethiel]

Doc MFN

NightfallDuet

Here's the main question: What if Bella was fat?

Just throwing it out there.

Okay, back to the topic, do you really think Meyer would ever do such a thing like thrown in a bunch of fat vampires into the Twilight series? That would ruin her view of perfection, happiness, and whatever she believes in.
Not that I care because I'm not exactly a skinny-mini either and I'm not interested in caring at the moment.

Bella is fat if you go by the the fact that Bella is Meyer. But of course Meyer couldn't have fat vamps, after all, Meyerpires are the absolute pinnacle of godhood on earth, and even if Meyerpires have a tint of pigment other than completely white, they're evil, more on the line of devils and demons.

I'll bet she wishes she was skinny and hates her body. -o- But, I find it hard to feel bad for her at this point. If it was anybody else, I would pity her.

[Destined Savior]

Doc MFN

NightfallDuet

Here's the main question: What if Bella was fat?

Just throwing it out there.

Okay, back to the topic, do you really think Meyer would ever do such a thing like thrown in a bunch of fat vampires into the Twilight series? That would ruin her view of perfection, happiness, and whatever she believes in.
Not that I care because I'm not exactly a skinny-mini either and I'm not interested in caring at the moment.

Bella is fat if you go by the the fact that Bella is Meyer. But of course Meyer couldn't have fat vamps, after all, Meyerpires are the absolute pinnacle of godhood on earth, and even if Meyerpires have a tint of pigment other than completely white, they're evil, more on the line of devils and demons.

The absolute most perfect vampires, or supermodels, to ever grace this Earth with their presence. Bleh.

[Crazy Valentine]

Belethiel

Doc MFN

NightfallDuet

Here's the main question: What if Bella was fat?

Just throwing it out there.

Okay, back to the topic, do you really think Meyer would ever do such a thing like thrown in a bunch of fat vampires into the Twilight series? That would ruin her view of perfection, happiness, and whatever she believes in.
Not that I care because I'm not exactly a skinny-mini either and I'm not interested in caring at the moment.

Bella is fat if you go by the the fact that Bella is Meyer. But of course Meyer couldn't have fat vamps, after all, Meyerpires are the absolute pinnacle of godhood on earth, and even if Meyerpires have a tint of pigment other than completely white, they're evil, more on the line of devils and demons.

I'll bet she wishes she was skinny and hates her body. -o- But, I find it hard to feel bad for her at this point. If it was anybody else, I would pity her.

Yeah, Meyer and James, I could not pity them any less. James has no excuse for her sorry porn series either, she's supposedly a TV writer, it does not excuse her lack of research or poor grammar.