Rewriting Twilight: First chapter on Figment

bwahaha

DO IT!! >:D	41.2%	[ 198 ]
You better update this when you start typing...	7.9%	[ 38 ]
Don't do it!! We love you!	4.0%	[ 19 ]
DON'T DO IT!! We love Twilight!	8.5%	[ 41 ]
...Why are you here?	5.0%	[ 24 ]
It's a free forum D:<	4.2%	[ 20 ]
No, I mean, you're surrounded by antis who are making sense of tripe... you sure you want to be here?	2.7%	[ 13 ]
...TEAM EDWARD!! *runs off*	8.1%	[ 39 ]
This poll has been whored before I clicked the button! D:	18.5%	[ 89 ]
Total Votes:			[ 481 ]

[Ninlynja]

Silvia Crow

Related to writing and Twilight.

(Pic is of Joss Whedon. Not sure about the glasses)

The glasses are a sign of dirty hipster wearing them. Dirty, Dirty, Hipsters....*seethe*

[Alexander J Luthor]

Ninlynja

Alexander J Luthor

Ninlynja

Eh, True 'nough. Oh, you know what you should you do? After you're done, you should e-mail the new twilight to Mark, from MarkReadsTwilight. I loved his reveiw of the Hunger Games.
Collins High-fived Jesus after writing that line and he most certainly high-fived back.

*GASP!!!* I could never do that! O/////O

I'd die if he read anything by me, even if he liked it. His joy is like a thousand suns and would scorch my soul into oblivion.

Again, true 'nough. I agree; if the guy read my novel (Probably won't, it's only in the 8th chapter.) I would most likely pee myself. Or do something akin to a fan girl freak out until someone threw me down the stairs. So, like, two or three seconds.

So, pretty much is review of HP:OOP? lol, That was beautiful.

[Ninlynja]

Alexander J Luthor

Ninlynja

Alexander J Luthor

Ninlynja

Eh, True 'nough. Oh, you know what you should you do? After you're done, you should e-mail the new twilight to Mark, from MarkReadsTwilight. I loved his reveiw of the Hunger Games.
Collins High-fived Jesus after writing that line and he most certainly high-fived back.

*GASP!!!* I could never do that! O/////O

I'd die if he read anything by me, even if he liked it. His joy is like a thousand suns and would scorch my soul into oblivion.

Again, true 'nough. I agree; if the guy read my novel (Probably won't, it's only in the 8th chapter.) I would most likely pee myself. Or do something akin to a fan girl freak out until someone threw me down the stairs. So, like, two or three seconds.

So, pretty much is review of HP:OOP? lol, That was beautiful.

Why, thank you. I try.

[Belethiel]

The nuber one thing I want to see Bella do once or if you get to Breakign Dawn, or whenever you decide to change her: Make her kill a human.

Also, I say go all Stephen King on this bullcrap, and make it more horror than romance. See what happens if the Cullens actually do eat people.

And please, take away the sparkles and replace it with sunlight weakness. Or for comedic effect: really, really bad sunburns. Or, you could make them creatures of the night, and Bella met Edward- wait....

NEVER MIND I AM USEING THAT FOR MY OWN RE-WRITE!

Yep. I had the same idea before I saw this thread. I'm going to stay out of here so I don't steal any of your ideas, or share to many of mine. ninja Feel free to borrow the ones in the first 2 parts of my post there. Especially the human eating part.

[Belethiel]

Alexander J Luthor

Ninlynja

Eh, True 'nough. Oh, you know what you should you do? After you're done, you should e-mail the new twilight to Mark, from MarkReadsTwilight. I loved his reveiw of the Hunger Games.
Collins High-fived Jesus after writing that line and he most certainly high-fived back.

*GASP!!!* I could never do that! O/////O

I'd die if he read anything by me, even if he liked it. His joy is like a thousand suns and would scorch my soul into oblivion.

So is his anger, and hatered.... his sadness is like a rainstorm... "WHY IS THIS BOOK SO FULL OF SAD? I NEED TO BE HELD. FOREVER."

-Also about The Hunger Games. I liked that review to, it was just as entertaining to read about a book he liked as it was to read about a book he hated. The Hunger Games is also my all-time favorite. 3nodding

Oh man... if Mark read my stuff, I would die from a combination of fear and happines. .... Will he read manga? o.o If he just read my unedited role-play (especially the early posts... I hate them, and I wrote them. O_o).... yeah, he would hate it. That's why I draw, and my RP buddy writes it... yeah, the manga is based off a role play. Bite me. -o-

Hm... my older posts are excellent though. I learned a lot. And since it's being rewritten and we're taking out all the crap.... yeah, it's going to be good. cool

[Alexander J Luthor]

Belethiel

So is his anger, and hatered.... his sadness is like a rainstorm... "WHY IS THIS BOOK SO FULL OF SAD? I NEED TO BE HELD. FOREVER."

-Also about The Hunger Games. I liked that review to, it was just as entertaining to read about a book he liked as it was to read about a book he hated. The Hunger Games is also my all-time favorite. 3nodding

Oh man... if Mark read my stuff, I would die from a combination of fear and happines. .... Will he read manga? o.o If he just read my unedited role-play (especially the early posts... I hate them, and I wrote them. O_o).... yeah, he would hate it. That's why I draw, and my RP buddy writes it... yeah, the manga is based off a role play. Bite me. -o-

Hm... my older posts are excellent though. I learned a lot. And since it's being rewritten and we're taking out all the crap.... yeah, it's going to be good. cool

I've thought of turning roleplays into stories, if only so I could re-read it without wondering if myself and the other players were secretly fed crack while we talked.

[Belethiel]

Alexander J Luthor

Belethiel

So is his anger, and hatered.... his sadness is like a rainstorm... "WHY IS THIS BOOK SO FULL OF SAD? I NEED TO BE HELD. FOREVER."

-Also about The Hunger Games. I liked that review to, it was just as entertaining to read about a book he liked as it was to read about a book he hated. The Hunger Games is also my all-time favorite. 3nodding

Oh man... if Mark read my stuff, I would die from a combination of fear and happines. .... Will he read manga? o.o If he just read my unedited role-play (especially the early posts... I hate them, and I wrote them. O_o).... yeah, he would hate it. That's why I draw, and my RP buddy writes it... yeah, the manga is based off a role play. Bite me. -o-

Hm... my older posts are excellent though. I learned a lot. And since it's being rewritten and we're taking out all the crap.... yeah, it's going to be good. cool

I've thought of turning roleplays into stories, if only so I could re-read it without wondering if myself and the other players were secretly fed crack while we talked.

Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. We finished the RP over the course of a year, and yes.... we did have some crackbrained ideas, but we had brilliant ones as well. Now that we can recognise our bad writing and pick through it, we'll be able to construct something palatable. Our older and present posts are much better than our early ones. Mine contained emoticons.... sweatdrop

[Alexander J Luthor]

Belethiel

Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. We finished the RP over the course of a year, and yes.... we did have some crackbrained ideas, but we had brilliant ones as well. Now that we can recognise our bad writing and pick through it, we'll be able to construct something palatable. Our older and present posts are much better than our early ones. Mine contained emoticons.... sweatdrop

I don't think I ever used emotes ic. My posting evolved fast when I made the mistake of joining several Ad Lits at once. burning_eyes

[Belethiel]

Alexander J Luthor

Belethiel

Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. We finished the RP over the course of a year, and yes.... we did have some crackbrained ideas, but we had brilliant ones as well. Now that we can recognise our bad writing and pick through it, we'll be able to construct something palatable. Our older and present posts are much better than our early ones. Mine contained emoticons.... sweatdrop

I don't think I ever used emotes ic. My posting evolved fast when I made the mistake of joining several Ad Lits at once. burning_eyes

Ah... I only do one RP at a time.

The big problem was that it was an advanced lit. There was just to many people posting at first, every one overlooked stuff like that. And, after about a week or so, I did not use emoticons. My character was still a lovestruck Mary Sue, but she isn't anymore. We're nothing alike, she has weaknesses, and not nearly as many powers as she used to . xD After the first chapter, my talent exploded, and I grew pretty quickly, since we got the plot moving. XP Finally.

My friends improved to, however one of them is, in her own words: "Hideously illogical."

That's being taken care of by the writer. My friend and I are just the editors and artists. xD And there's a reason for that. He's captureing our characters pretty well, accurately. That happens when you get close to somebody, and you read eachother's work every single day. I could probably immitate his writing style if I tried.... but that's easy, since we grew together and learned how to write together, our styles are similar. We've been writing together for the better part of 2 years (we have a continuation of the original), the RP's anniversary is coming up in October. We're still counting it's birthdays even though it's finished. xD

[Alexander J Luthor]

Belethiel

Ah... I only do one RP at a time.

The big problem was that it was an advanced lit. There was just to many people posting at first, every one overlooked stuff like that. And, after about a week or so, I did not use emoticons. My character was still a lovestruck Mary Sue, but she isn't anymore. We're nothing alike, she has weaknesses, and not nearly as many powers as she used to . xD After the first chapter, my talent exploded, and I grew pretty quickly, since we got the plot moving. XP Finally.

My friends improved to, however one of them is, in her own words: "Hideously illogical."

That's being taken care of by the writer. My friend and I are just the editors and artists. xD And there's a reason for that. He's captureing our characters pretty well, accurately. That happens when you get close to somebody, and you read eachother's work every single day. I could probably immitate his writing style if I tried.... but that's easy, since we grew together and learned how to write together, our styles are similar. We've been writing together for the better part of 2 years (we have a continuation of the original), the RP's anniversary is coming up in October. We're still counting it's birthdays even though it's finished. xD

I LOVE throwing Gary Stues into a role play!

Only if I'm genuinely interested will I make a serious character.

[supervamp78]

I'm writing a fanfiction, (gonna call it fanfiction since it's based off the book)


I'm just gonna change a few of the charaters


Bella will keep her plain persoanlity, but lose the clumsy.(if i kept that id have to make her into a moe charater)but she will have a slightly more abrassive undertone.


Edward will be an a*****e (inb4he's already an a*****e, yeah i know i don't mean the possive im gonna protect you kind i mean the bad boy kind)


Jessica(if i add her, will be one of those slutty girls who makes out alot but never puts out you know the ones that get date raped the most, lets face it shes one of those in the orginal anyways)she will be the popluar girl type.
the rest of those high school friends aren't even important.

The rest of the vampire family are ok,just a few changes( jasper he will be the quiet book worm type and with alice preppy personality itll be a great contrast relationship.rosy a more princess domme type)


Jacob will be the more silent type, which makes him bellas friend right off the bat also hell be in high school.

charlie will be more youngish,bella mom is fine as she is.

i haven't figured out what ill do for the other wolves and indians. or the vot.

The evil vampires apparences will be changed.


the setting will be in forks, debating on rather to keep the reflecting.
the story will obviously be changed to fit the changes i made.

anyways that's how its gonna be.

[Alexander J Luthor]

supervamp78

I'm writing a fanfiction, (gonna call it fanfiction since it's based off the book)


I'm just gonna change a few of the charaters


Bella will keep her plain persoanlity, but lose the clumsy.(if i kept that id have to make her into a moe charater)but she will have a slightly more abrassive undertone.


Edward will be an a*****e (inb4he's already an a*****e, yeah i know i don't mean the possive im gonna protect you kind i mean the bad boy kind)


Jessica(if i add her, will be one of those slutty girls who makes out alot but never puts out you know the ones that get date raped the most, lets face it shes one of those in the orginal anyways)she will be the popluar girl type.
the rest of those high school friends aren't even important.

The rest of the vampire family are ok,just a few changes( jasper he will be the quiet book worm type and with alice preppy personality itll be a great contrast relationship.rosy a more princess domme type)


Jacob will be the more silent type, which makes him bellas friend right off the bat also hell be in high school.

charlie will be more youngish,bella mom is fine as she is.

i haven't figured out what ill do for the other wolves and indians. or the vot.

The evil vampires apparences will be changed.


the setting will be in forks, debating on rather to keep the reflecting.
the story will obviously be changed to fit the changes i made.

anyways that's how its gonna be.

neutral Um, alright?

[The Girly-Wolf]

OH BOY. I love when people re-write Twilight. :3

Alexander J Luthor

Is there anything else you all would like me to do on this suicidal journey?

Kill people.
Not actual people, but characters. You have no idea how much it pained me to have a vampire story where no one died but the bad guys.

Quote:

Add scenes?

Have Bella see a vampire hunting and killing a human. Preferably Edward. Y'know, actually impress upon her the idea that dating a vampire is not the best life choice.

Quote:

Delete scenes?

That ******** meadow. Make it gone.

Quote:

Give certain characters depth?

Esme is a blank slate. Have fun with her. Alice could also use a little something. And Jasper. He's from the Civil War Era South. That should show in his character in some fashion.

Actually, just about all of the Cullens. Given their different backgrounds they all could have very striking indivduality.

Quote:

Kill off other characters?

Dunno how far in the series you're going to go with this, but I'd probably not end up killing anyone good until we've had a good long time to get attached to them. I'm a b***h that way.

I would probably kill a couple from the wolf pack. Individually, they're not supposed to be a match for a vampire. They win by working as a unit, but in a fight like the one in Eclipse it would be easy for one or two of them to get caught on their own. And vamps' best weapon is their teeth, their first instinct is to bite anything that moves, yet somehow in that fight no one got bitten? C'mon. Fix that.
And then if you had a big ol' battle at the end of Breaking Dawn, Jasper should die. He's a great fighter when he's only looking out for himself, but when he's with Alice he wants to protect her and he's not as effective. We saw how he was the only one of the Cullens to be injured in Eclipse because he was distracted trying to take care of her, and that was against newborns who didn't know how to fight. Against the Volturi, he'd be in some serious trouble.

Quote:

Make this logic work?

The sparkling thing. I'm pretty sure the only way that you can make it work is to not do it.
Imprinting. I would actually keep this, but acknowledge the complete ******** that it is. Have everyone acutely aware of how seriously not okay it is to be raising the infant who will eventually be your wife.

Quote:

Current Changes:
Without looking at my handy-dandy notebook, I've decided to make chapter one 10 pages, chapter two 6-4 pages, combine chapters one and two, add a snowball fight of EPIC PROPORTIONS, quit referring to other characters by their stereotypes/as dogs every time they're talked about, ignore the s**t out of Edward for being a d**k then acting nice... while still being a d**k, giving these humans a decent chance for friendship, injecting EMOSHUNS, injecting the ability to COOK... All I really want is a bad-a** snowball fight! D:

I approve. :3

[Belethiel]

Oh hey, I noticed something. There are virtually no people of color in Twilight that are important.

Throw in a couple non-white vampires, stay away from stereotypes, and please.... no tokenisim. If there's one, there has to be more. :/ Like have a friend of Bella's be non-white.

Seriously. There's only like.... one black dude in Breaking Dawn, she speaks stereotypically and described as a 'shady character'. Also, in Meyerland, vampirisim turns you white. Kill that with fire. That pisses me off, and convinces me SMeyer is a racist.

Get rid of the impression all of the Quilliutes live and work on a reservation (which was pretty poor before Twilight boosted the tourisim in Forks.). It is a Native American stereotype. And why can't a few werewolves have white collar day jobs? It appears all they do is physical labor. l:

Make Edward nicer, and more respectful to Bella. I wish he was a softer person.... make him less controling.

And make Bella a little bit of a bad a**. You kind of have to be to love a vampire.


Get rid of the stupid love triangle, and replace that excuse of a conflict with something else... something more dangerous and dire.

[Belethiel]

Alexander J Luthor

Belethiel

Ah... I only do one RP at a time.

The big problem was that it was an advanced lit. There was just to many people posting at first, every one overlooked stuff like that. And, after about a week or so, I did not use emoticons. My character was still a lovestruck Mary Sue, but she isn't anymore. We're nothing alike, she has weaknesses, and not nearly as many powers as she used to . xD After the first chapter, my talent exploded, and I grew pretty quickly, since we got the plot moving. XP Finally.

My friends improved to, however one of them is, in her own words: "Hideously illogical."

That's being taken care of by the writer. My friend and I are just the editors and artists. xD And there's a reason for that. He's captureing our characters pretty well, accurately. That happens when you get close to somebody, and you read eachother's work every single day. I could probably immitate his writing style if I tried.... but that's easy, since we grew together and learned how to write together, our styles are similar. We've been writing together for the better part of 2 years (we have a continuation of the original), the RP's anniversary is coming up in October. We're still counting it's birthdays even though it's finished. xD

I LOVE throwing Gary Stues into a role play!

Only if I'm genuinely interested will I make a serious character.

Ah, I figured making one for entertainment would be fun. They do have thier place, Sues... a couple are actually well-written, like Jessica from Midnighters. The other characters were so well developed and awesome, yet she was boring as hell, but she solved everything in the end when all hope was lost. I enjoyed those books, I like Scott Westerfeld. 3nodding Uglies was excellent.

I absoulutely love characters with deep flaws, though. When writing, add a flaw on purpose, and more might come naturally. I like RPs when one is supposed to write a character flaw in the profiles.

Oh, and another thing OP, GIVE BELLA SOME REAL FLAWS. Or make that clumsyness serverely detrimental.