Never gonna read Twilight.

[Chombi]

haunting heaven

Chombi

But yeah, you consider him making her get into a car and making her nurish her body abuse? Really? Do you also consider every parent in the world abusive? He acts like a father figure to her, hes much older after all

He's not her father. He's not her parent, and it is not his place to parent her. He's a guy who wants to date her, and in that kind of a relationship, equality is key. It is not his place to attempt to put himself into a position of authority over her.

Quote:

and hes from an age where women were treated that way.

Yeah, and my grandparents are from an age when racism was socially acceptable--that doesn't make it okay.

Quote:

But thats mild compaired to the spats that some couples have.

So? Does that make it not abuse in your book?

Quote:

My father actually yelled at my mother during stressed out times when she kept him up for 5 days and wouldnt take her medicine, forced her into a car to go to the hospital and strapped her down. They have been married for 30 something years. Is that abusive? No he was stressed out from being kept awake for five days and he forced her into a car because she was in danger and she needed medical help.

Assuming your mother actually had a medical condition and was a danger to herself and/or others, then that's an entirely different situation. However, you'll have to be more specific with what was wrong with her. If she had something that wasn't life-threatening or dangerous, then it really wasn't his place to force her to do anything she didn't want.

But in the Edward/Bella situation? She wasn't in danger. She wasn't incapacitated in any way. Edward simply decided to ignore her wishes and force her to do things she told him she didn't want to do. Like ride home with him or eat something. And he physically forced her to do the first. THAT IS ABUSIVE.

Your later claim that she was dizzy is bullshit. She had been dizzy, but she already felt better by the time he asked the nurse if he could drive her home. She even admits to pretending to feel badly just to get out of gym. Edward knew that, too, if you read Midnight Sun. He knew she was faking, and he didn't give a crap because he thought his desire to drive her home overrule her desire to not be treated like an invalid.

Also, even if his motivations were entirely good (they weren't), HE STILL DOESN'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO INHIBIT HER ABILITY TO MAKE HER OWN CHOICES.

MuffinTheOrphan

Buffy had awesome vampires. From what I see though, that vampire and Xander aren't the same person. I don't think Xander ever was a vampire.

He was in some alternate future thing. I can't really remember what happened, but both he and Willow had become vampires. And I think their eyes do change, but considering that vampires in the Buffy universe are demon-possessed corpses--and not the pseudo-scientific monstrosities Meyer attempted to create--it's much easier to suspend disbelief and assume that the change is due to the demon within them.

I still dont consider it abuse, a handful of incidence dont count as abuse to me. Maybe because im in a relationship with a much older person and im alot younger then him and he is the main house hold provider while im at home with the kids. I have to ask him to buy me things as if he were my parent and if he says no I just have to accept it. Some people are in that type of relationship where the guy in the relationship is like a father type figure. I dont think im being abused in any way though because its my choice entirely to be in that type of relationship just as its bella's choice entirely to be in that type of relationship. She could have left him at any time, she could have even chosen a different man at any time and he would have accepted it. Just like my mother lives down the street from me and i can just ask her to come get me and be done with the relationship just like that.

[[NPC] Waffles the Cat]

Chombi

haunting heaven

Chombi

But yeah, you consider him making her get into a car and making her nurish her body abuse? Really? Do you also consider every parent in the world abusive? He acts like a father figure to her, hes much older after all

He's not her father. He's not her parent, and it is not his place to parent her. He's a guy who wants to date her, and in that kind of a relationship, equality is key. It is not his place to attempt to put himself into a position of authority over her.

Quote:

and hes from an age where women were treated that way.

Yeah, and my grandparents are from an age when racism was socially acceptable--that doesn't make it okay.

Quote:

But thats mild compaired to the spats that some couples have.

So? Does that make it not abuse in your book?

Quote:

My father actually yelled at my mother during stressed out times when she kept him up for 5 days and wouldnt take her medicine, forced her into a car to go to the hospital and strapped her down. They have been married for 30 something years. Is that abusive? No he was stressed out from being kept awake for five days and he forced her into a car because she was in danger and she needed medical help.

Assuming your mother actually had a medical condition and was a danger to herself and/or others, then that's an entirely different situation. However, you'll have to be more specific with what was wrong with her. If she had something that wasn't life-threatening or dangerous, then it really wasn't his place to force her to do anything she didn't want.

But in the Edward/Bella situation? She wasn't in danger. She wasn't incapacitated in any way. Edward simply decided to ignore her wishes and force her to do things she told him she didn't want to do. Like ride home with him or eat something. And he physically forced her to do the first. THAT IS ABUSIVE.

Your later claim that she was dizzy is bullshit. She had been dizzy, but she already felt better by the time he asked the nurse if he could drive her home. She even admits to pretending to feel badly just to get out of gym. Edward knew that, too, if you read Midnight Sun. He knew she was faking, and he didn't give a crap because he thought his desire to drive her home overrule her desire to not be treated like an invalid.

Also, even if his motivations were entirely good (they weren't), HE STILL DOESN'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO INHIBIT HER ABILITY TO MAKE HER OWN CHOICES.

MuffinTheOrphan

Buffy had awesome vampires. From what I see though, that vampire and Xander aren't the same person. I don't think Xander ever was a vampire.

He was in some alternate future thing. I can't really remember what happened, but both he and Willow had become vampires. And I think their eyes do change, but considering that vampires in the Buffy universe are demon-possessed corpses--and not the pseudo-scientific monstrosities Meyer attempted to create--it's much easier to suspend disbelief and assume that the change is due to the demon within them.

I still dont consider it abuse, a handful of incidence dont count as abuse to me. Maybe because im in a relationship with a much older person and im alot younger then him and he is the main house hold provider while im at home with the kids. I have to ask him to buy me things as if he were my parent and if he says no I just have to accept it. Some people are in that type of relationship where the guy in the relationship is like a father type figure. I dont think im being abused in any way though because its my choice entirely to be in that type of relationship just as its bella's choice entirely to be in that type of relationship. She could have left him at any time, she could have even chosen a different man at any time and he would have accepted it. Just like my mother lives down the street from me and i can just ask her to come get me and be done with the relationship just like that.

cat_gonk *Waffles runs away*

[Scoot McCallMeMaybe]

Chombi

I still dont consider it abuse, a handful of incidence dont count as abuse to me. Maybe because im in a relationship with a much older person and im alot younger then him and he is the main house hold provider while im at home with the kids. I have to ask him to buy me things as if he were my parent and if he says no I just have to accept it. Some people are in that type of relationship where the guy in the relationship is like a father type figure. I dont think im being abused in any way though because its my choice entirely to be in that type of relationship just as its bella's choice entirely to be in that type of relationship. She could have left him at any time, she could have even chosen a different man at any time and he would have accepted it. Just like my mother lives down the street from me and i can just ask her to come get me and be done with the relationship just like that.

How does your situation relate to Bella's at all? She couldn't have left him though. Leaving him was never an option, especially when he would just stalk her again. Her relationship isn't one where she needs a father figure or where Edward is her 'daddy'. She has a father, she doesn't need another. How come you see their relationship as one where he's her father figure?

[Scoot McCallMeMaybe]

[NPC] Waffles the Cat

cat_gonk *Waffles runs away*

Stop running away! I just want to hug you! crying

[[NPC] Waffles the Cat]

MuffinTheOrphan

Chombi

I still dont consider it abuse, a handful of incidence dont count as abuse to me. Maybe because im in a relationship with a much older person and im alot younger then him and he is the main house hold provider while im at home with the kids. I have to ask him to buy me things as if he were my parent and if he says no I just have to accept it. Some people are in that type of relationship where the guy in the relationship is like a father type figure. I dont think im being abused in any way though because its my choice entirely to be in that type of relationship just as its bella's choice entirely to be in that type of relationship. She could have left him at any time, she could have even chosen a different man at any time and he would have accepted it. Just like my mother lives down the street from me and i can just ask her to come get me and be done with the relationship just like that.

How does your situation relate to Bella's at all? She couldn't have left him though. Leaving him was never an option, especially when he would just stalk her again. Her relationship isn't one where she needs a father figure or where Edward is her 'daddy'. She has a father, she doesn't need another. How come you see their relationship as one where he's her father figure?

cat_neutral *Waffles runs away*

[Chombi]

MuffinTheOrphan

Chombi

I still dont consider it abuse, a handful of incidence dont count as abuse to me. Maybe because im in a relationship with a much older person and im alot younger then him and he is the main house hold provider while im at home with the kids. I have to ask him to buy me things as if he were my parent and if he says no I just have to accept it. Some people are in that type of relationship where the guy in the relationship is like a father type figure. I dont think im being abused in any way though because its my choice entirely to be in that type of relationship just as its bella's choice entirely to be in that type of relationship. She could have left him at any time, she could have even chosen a different man at any time and he would have accepted it. Just like my mother lives down the street from me and i can just ask her to come get me and be done with the relationship just like that.

How does your situation relate to Bella's at all? She couldn't have left him though. Leaving him was never an option, especially when he would just stalk her again. Her relationship isn't one where she needs a father figure or where Edward is her 'daddy'. She has a father, she doesn't need another. How come you see their relationship as one where he's her father figure?

I just see him as the dominant one in the relationship, i just call it that. Anyways he left her a few times and told her to live a normal life (but i dont get that since she was still in danger) so she could have been with jacob at any time during that time.

[Scoot McCallMeMaybe]

[NPC] Waffles the Cat

MuffinTheOrphan

Chombi

I still dont consider it abuse, a handful of incidence dont count as abuse to me. Maybe because im in a relationship with a much older person and im alot younger then him and he is the main house hold provider while im at home with the kids. I have to ask him to buy me things as if he were my parent and if he says no I just have to accept it. Some people are in that type of relationship where the guy in the relationship is like a father type figure. I dont think im being abused in any way though because its my choice entirely to be in that type of relationship just as its bella's choice entirely to be in that type of relationship. She could have left him at any time, she could have even chosen a different man at any time and he would have accepted it. Just like my mother lives down the street from me and i can just ask her to come get me and be done with the relationship just like that.

How does your situation relate to Bella's at all? She couldn't have left him though. Leaving him was never an option, especially when he would just stalk her again. Her relationship isn't one where she needs a father figure or where Edward is her 'daddy'. She has a father, she doesn't need another. How come you see their relationship as one where he's her father figure?

cat_neutral *Waffles runs away*

I have fish! Come back! Do my arms scare you? I'm sorry!

[[NPC] Waffles the Cat]

Chombi

MuffinTheOrphan

Chombi

I still dont consider it abuse, a handful of incidence dont count as abuse to me. Maybe because im in a relationship with a much older person and im alot younger then him and he is the main house hold provider while im at home with the kids. I have to ask him to buy me things as if he were my parent and if he says no I just have to accept it. Some people are in that type of relationship where the guy in the relationship is like a father type figure. I dont think im being abused in any way though because its my choice entirely to be in that type of relationship just as its bella's choice entirely to be in that type of relationship. She could have left him at any time, she could have even chosen a different man at any time and he would have accepted it. Just like my mother lives down the street from me and i can just ask her to come get me and be done with the relationship just like that.

How does your situation relate to Bella's at all? She couldn't have left him though. Leaving him was never an option, especially when he would just stalk her again. Her relationship isn't one where she needs a father figure or where Edward is her 'daddy'. She has a father, she doesn't need another. How come you see their relationship as one where he's her father figure?

I just see him as the dominant one in the relationship, i just call it that. Anyways he left her a few times and told her to live a normal life (but i dont get that since she was still in danger) so she could have been with jacob at any time during that time.

cat_rolleyes *Waffles runs away*

[Scoot McCallMeMaybe]

Chombi

MuffinTheOrphan

Chombi

I still dont consider it abuse, a handful of incidence dont count as abuse to me. Maybe because im in a relationship with a much older person and im alot younger then him and he is the main house hold provider while im at home with the kids. I have to ask him to buy me things as if he were my parent and if he says no I just have to accept it. Some people are in that type of relationship where the guy in the relationship is like a father type figure. I dont think im being abused in any way though because its my choice entirely to be in that type of relationship just as its bella's choice entirely to be in that type of relationship. She could have left him at any time, she could have even chosen a different man at any time and he would have accepted it. Just like my mother lives down the street from me and i can just ask her to come get me and be done with the relationship just like that.

How does your situation relate to Bella's at all? She couldn't have left him though. Leaving him was never an option, especially when he would just stalk her again. Her relationship isn't one where she needs a father figure or where Edward is her 'daddy'. She has a father, she doesn't need another. How come you see their relationship as one where he's her father figure?

I just see him as the dominant one in the relationship, i just call it that. Anyways he left her a few times and told her to live a normal life (but i dont get that since she was still in danger) so she could have been with jacob at any time during that time.

She never would have because she always wanted to be with Edward. Being with Jacob was never an option. Why do you see him as that and thus his actions are justified? How can you justify his stalking, him purposely letting her get lost in the forest so that he could break and enter her house and steal her things? How can you justify him doing things she didn't want him to do? Why is he good in your eyes? Why do you think Bella needed him, needed a Dom?

[Chombi]

MuffinTheOrphan

Chombi

MuffinTheOrphan

Chombi

I still dont consider it abuse, a handful of incidence dont count as abuse to me. Maybe because im in a relationship with a much older person and im alot younger then him and he is the main house hold provider while im at home with the kids. I have to ask him to buy me things as if he were my parent and if he says no I just have to accept it. Some people are in that type of relationship where the guy in the relationship is like a father type figure. I dont think im being abused in any way though because its my choice entirely to be in that type of relationship just as its bella's choice entirely to be in that type of relationship. She could have left him at any time, she could have even chosen a different man at any time and he would have accepted it. Just like my mother lives down the street from me and i can just ask her to come get me and be done with the relationship just like that.

How does your situation relate to Bella's at all? She couldn't have left him though. Leaving him was never an option, especially when he would just stalk her again. Her relationship isn't one where she needs a father figure or where Edward is her 'daddy'. She has a father, she doesn't need another. How come you see their relationship as one where he's her father figure?

I just see him as the dominant one in the relationship, i just call it that. Anyways he left her a few times and told her to live a normal life (but i dont get that since she was still in danger) so she could have been with jacob at any time during that time.

She never would have because she always wanted to be with Edward. Being with Jacob was never an option. Why do you see him as that and thus his actions are justified? How can you justify his stalking, him purposely letting her get lose in the forest so that he could break and enter her house and steal her things? How can you justify him doing things she didn't want him to do? Why is he good in your eyes? Why do you think Bella needed him, needed a Dom?

I never said she needed him, I just said it was like that, some people are in that type of relationship. You dont think she could have been with jacob all that time that edward was gone? He wasnt in her life he didnt have contact with her at all. It doesnt matter if she never would have, the point is she had a choice and she chose edward in the end. I also never said he was good in my eyes, but I dont believe that he is bad either. Obsessed yes, but a bad person? No. She didnt need him, but she is the type of person that needs someone, considering the amount of danger that lurks around her.

[[NPC] Waffles the Cat]

Chombi

MuffinTheOrphan

Chombi

MuffinTheOrphan

Chombi

I still dont consider it abuse, a handful of incidence dont count as abuse to me. Maybe because im in a relationship with a much older person and im alot younger then him and he is the main house hold provider while im at home with the kids. I have to ask him to buy me things as if he were my parent and if he says no I just have to accept it. Some people are in that type of relationship where the guy in the relationship is like a father type figure. I dont think im being abused in any way though because its my choice entirely to be in that type of relationship just as its bella's choice entirely to be in that type of relationship. She could have left him at any time, she could have even chosen a different man at any time and he would have accepted it. Just like my mother lives down the street from me and i can just ask her to come get me and be done with the relationship just like that.

How does your situation relate to Bella's at all? She couldn't have left him though. Leaving him was never an option, especially when he would just stalk her again. Her relationship isn't one where she needs a father figure or where Edward is her 'daddy'. She has a father, she doesn't need another. How come you see their relationship as one where he's her father figure?

I just see him as the dominant one in the relationship, i just call it that. Anyways he left her a few times and told her to live a normal life (but i dont get that since she was still in danger) so she could have been with jacob at any time during that time.

She never would have because she always wanted to be with Edward. Being with Jacob was never an option. Why do you see him as that and thus his actions are justified? How can you justify his stalking, him purposely letting her get lose in the forest so that he could break and enter her house and steal her things? How can you justify him doing things she didn't want him to do? Why is he good in your eyes? Why do you think Bella needed him, needed a Dom?

I never said she needed him, I just said it was like that, some people are in that type of relationship. You dont think she could have been with jacob all that time that edward was gone? He wasnt in her life he didnt have contact with her at all. It doesnt matter if she never would have, the point is she had a choice and she chose edward in the end. I also never said he was good in my eyes, but I dont believe that he is bad either. Obsessed yes, but a bad person? No. She didnt need him, but she is the type of person that needs someone, considering the amount of danger that lurks around her.

cat_crying *Waffles runs away*

[Scoot McCallMeMaybe]

Chombi

I never said she needed him, I just said it was like that, some people are in that type of relationship. You dont think she could have been with jacob all that time that edward was gone? He wasnt in her life he didnt have contact with her at all. It doesnt matter if she never would have, the point is she had a choice and she chose edward in the end. I also never said he was good in my eyes, but I dont believe that he is bad either. Obsessed yes, but a bad person? No. She didnt need him, but she is the type of person that needs someone, considering the amount of danger that lurks around her.

I don't think, I know she couldn't have. She wasn't with him all the time that Edward was gone. Where were you when Bella was doing suicidal stunts so she could hear Edward's voice? She didn't need Edward, she didn't need Jacob, she needed a psychiatric evaluation and to go home to her mom.

I didn't see it as a choice because it was always Edward, Jacob was friend zoned before he even appeared in the series because Meyer loves Edward.

You obviously see some good in him if you don't think ANYTHING he did was wrong.

How is he not a bad person?

Are you ever going to respond to my other posts to you?

She doesn't need anyone. As I said, she needs to go home to her mother. The only reason danger lurks around her is because of Edward. If he denied her suspicions then nothing ever would have happened. It is majorly if not entirely his fault.

[Chombi]

MuffinTheOrphan

Chombi

I never said she needed him, I just said it was like that, some people are in that type of relationship. You dont think she could have been with jacob all that time that edward was gone? He wasnt in her life he didnt have contact with her at all. It doesnt matter if she never would have, the point is she had a choice and she chose edward in the end. I also never said he was good in my eyes, but I dont believe that he is bad either. Obsessed yes, but a bad person? No. She didnt need him, but she is the type of person that needs someone, considering the amount of danger that lurks around her.

I don't think, I know she couldn't have. She wasn't with him all the time that Edward was gone. Where were you when Bella was doing suicidal stunts so she could hear Edward's voice? She didn't need Edward, she didn't need Jacob, she needed a psychiatric evaluation and to go home to her mom.

I didn't see it as a choice because it was always Edward, Jacob was friend zoned before he even appeared in the series because Meyer loves Edward.

You obviously see some good in him if you don't think ANYTHING he did was wrong.

How is he not a bad person?

Are you ever going to respond to my other posts to you?

She doesn't need anyone. As I said, she needs to go home to her mother. The only reason danger lurks around her is because of Edward. If he denied her suspicions then nothing ever would have happened. It is majorly if not entirely his fault.

firstly i dont know what your other posts are because sometimes i accidentally miss posts, and im sorry about that.

When did he steal something from her btw? Also just looking at someone or rather what you say "stalking" doesnt get you life in prison and its not bad unless the person being stalked files a restraining order and doesnt like it.

Also yeah i agree she was a mental case for that one part of the book, but before that she was perfectly fine and she had a choice. Infact he tried his best to avoid her threw most of the first chapter, but she made it clear that she wanted to be with him and advanced onto him.

Like i said before, its her choice to go back to her mother and im sure if she had of said she wanted to leave and go to live with her mother he would have got her first class tickets and sent her there.

[haunting heaven]

Chombi

I still dont consider it abuse, a handful of incidence dont count as abuse to me. Maybe because im in a relationship with a much older person and im alot younger then him and he is the main house hold provider while im at home with the kids. I have to ask him to buy me things as if he were my parent and if he says no I just have to accept it. Some people are in that type of relationship where the guy in the relationship is like a father type figure. I dont think im being abused in any way though because its my choice entirely to be in that type of relationship just as its bella's choice entirely to be in that type of relationship. She could have left him at any time, she could have even chosen a different man at any time and he would have accepted it. Just like my mother lives down the street from me and i can just ask her to come get me and be done with the relationship just like that.

In the end, it doesn't matter what you consider to be abuse or not. It IS abuse and it will never stop BEING abuse just because you think it's all fine and dandy.

Also, ever hear of women who stay in relationships that are obviously abusive? As in, black eyes and broken bones abusive? The fact that women stay with abusive men is NOT proof those men aren't abusive.

Also, also, seeing your significant other as a parental figure is NOT healthy.

[Chombi]

haunting heaven

Chombi

I still dont consider it abuse, a handful of incidence dont count as abuse to me. Maybe because im in a relationship with a much older person and im alot younger then him and he is the main house hold provider while im at home with the kids. I have to ask him to buy me things as if he were my parent and if he says no I just have to accept it. Some people are in that type of relationship where the guy in the relationship is like a father type figure. I dont think im being abused in any way though because its my choice entirely to be in that type of relationship just as its bella's choice entirely to be in that type of relationship. She could have left him at any time, she could have even chosen a different man at any time and he would have accepted it. Just like my mother lives down the street from me and i can just ask her to come get me and be done with the relationship just like that.

In the end, it doesn't matter what you consider to be abuse or not. It IS abuse and it will never stop BEING abuse just because you think it's all fine and dandy.

Also, ever hear of women who stay in relationships that are obviously abusive? As in, black eyes and broken bones abusive? The fact that women stay with abusive women is NOT proof those men aren't abusive.

Also, also, seeing your significant other as a parental figure is NOT healthy.

I only described it like that because hes older and takes care of her.


Uhm...

"The fact that women stay with abusive women is NOT proof those men arent abusive." ....Women stay with women?

Anyways she isnt being harmed so i dont see the reason you bring up broken bones and bruises in the first place and think its relevant to the situation and relationship at all. You think that if she refused to get into the car that he would have beat her? No he would have picked her up and sent her to her fathers. Thats not abuse its called making sure you get home safely in a town filled with vampires and wearwolves.