Never Compare Bella Swan to Anyone

[Destined Savior]

I have nothing to say....

*speechless and dumbfounded*

This is a sporking of an article written by some crazy professor/"analyst" person who is doing a comparison (at the end of the sporking) between Bella and someone. I'm not going to say anything on who it is, so yeah, just read it.

Enjoy.

Our facial expression at the moment is this:



Have a good day/night, everyone.

Oh, and please note: Bold is the sporker and crazy lady is the normal font.

Yeah...just helping out. Bye!

[Scoot McCallMeMaybe]

I have now just been given a valid reason to shoot myself in the face.

The world has gone to hell if someone is comparing Bella to Jesus.

[Destined Savior]

MuffinTheOrphan

I have now just been given a valid reason to shoot myself in the face.

The world has gone to hell if someone is comparing Bella to Jesus.

*still speechless*

Yep, I think it has. 3nodding

[The Girly-Wolf]

10,000 awesome points for Nathan Fillion gifs.

[Bunnochist]

There is no singular word or collection of words that exist in any spoken language that convey the .............................................. I mean.. I can't even put in a word to begin to describe this woman.

Except that, whatever university she attended along with the last professor that got sporked, and Stephenie Meyer, need to be burned to the ground for letting these people achieve degrees instead of shooting them and putting them out of all our miseries and thus ensuring they would never breed.

[C0smic-Sp0of]

I think I may be in love with this man redface

[Destined Savior]

C0smic-Sp0of

I think I may be in love with this man redface

Uh...man? Are you talking about the gif of the sporker? Or my creator? Both my creator and the sporker are chicas. confused I'M CONFUSED!

Bella...Jesus....what....

Yeah, they should never be used in the same sentence. We know. *pats her head*

[Guildzilla]

See the other day a friend and I went to get some breakfast at McDonalds. This nice woman in front of us had paid for our order and left us a nice note telling us it was a Christmas present from a total stranger. This gave my hope in humanity.................then I read this and lost it.

[Das Slenderman]

[Jen_Sue32]

IT SUCKS!!!

[personwholikescookiezX3]

Well, she could be compared pretty well with the scum that clogs a sink.

[Destined Savior]

Jen_Sue32

IT SUCKS!!!

What sucks? Fluffy pajamas? Oh, those things are the most comfortable things ever! I love them! They make my butt look smaller, believe it or not. Seriously! They do! Though, I have to admit they can be itchy from time to time, but I manage.

Oh...you're talking about Twilight? Yeah, it sucks. I totally agree. It sucks the happiness from you. Poor happiness, you can never get it back. sad

Yeah...scum....maybe...what...

THAT'S INSULTING SCUM! Comparing anything to Spechual Snowflake is a crime against humanity, cookie! A CRIME!

[Mage Luna]

Look at the bright side. Parts of the Bella=Jesus comparison are based on errors in reading (believing things that happen when people turn into vampires are exclusive to Bella- newborn, pain- and mixing up days- two instead of three).

However, she implies that Claire (a character whose sole purpose is to foreshadow Jacob and Renesme) and Reneseme (a creepy child who is fully aware of her relation with Jacob, to the point where she considers him hers and is happy when Seth is badly injured protecting her possession) are like Jesus by interpreting actual events in the books. Renesme=Jesus is what's truly screwed up in my opinion (then again, I hate that character).

[Belethiel]

Actually, I think she was compareing Smee to Jesus.

lol wut?

Renesmee is more like the antichrist, actually.

And I'm with Das Mervin on this, there are more holy babies out there, and instantly adoreing a baby... well, that's what happens. :/ When people see a baby, they want to say how cute it is, they want to hold it, and touch it, and protect it. Generally, humans just like babies. It's instinct, they can't fend for themselves, they're the next generation, the hope for the future and whatnot.

The comparison doesn't make much sense in my opinion.

[Destined Savior]

Mage Luna

Look at the bright side. Parts of the Bella=Jesus comparison are based on errors in reading (believing things that happen when people turn into vampires are exclusive to Bella- newborn, pain- and mixing up days- two instead of three).

However, she implies that Claire (a character whose sole purpose is to foreshadow Jacob and Renesme) and Reneseme (a creepy child who is fully aware of her relation with Jacob, to the point where she considers him hers and is happy when Seth is badly injured protecting her possession) are like Jesus by interpreting actual events in the books. Renesme=Jesus is what's truly screwed up in my opinion (then again, I hate that character).

*gasps* They are the children of Christ?! WHAT?! That's just...wrong.

Well, maybe she's saying that Bella is the Virgin Mary and....

OH DEAR GOD! SHE IS! *wants to die*

That's even worse. Just...no.