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Quick response: Did you learn anything from Twilight?

Yes, I did. C: 0.23529411764706 23.5% [ 8 ]
Nah, not really. :| 0.17647058823529 17.6% [ 6 ]
Does it matter? Twilight's awesome! O:< 0.14705882352941 14.7% [ 5 ]
Pfft, as if, Twilight's horrible 0.44117647058824 44.1% [ 15 ]
Total Votes:[ 34 ]
< 1 2
Rogue Destiny's avatar

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What does one learn from Twilight?

Umm....well, I learned:

1) Whining your way through life isn't going to get you very fair; it'll only annoy people.
2) Immorality isn't the way to go; learn to love life and be happy with yourself.
3) Respect others, and please don't hate blondes--they're people too, ya know?
4) Just because a guy is ~totally hot~ doesn't mean always a nice guy, or even a respectful one at that.
5) If you want to treat a girl/guy right, respect and love for who they are, not what they are.


Wait...wrong book. Never mind!
TheQuietRiversRage's avatar

Fashionable Genius

Nah, other than though an idea is good on paper, it doesn't make a good book without a lot of planning... Unless it's a sappy YA supernatural novel. It must be very sappy and the lead must be as interesting as a block of wood. Or be more like a doll so as to mold her into something everyone is supposed to like. /sarcasm
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I learned that you should never abuse a thesaurus.
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Astra Ironwolf
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I'm just saying that one Trojan would have solved ALL of the problems in Breaking Dawn!
True, fewer problems would've been around if a condom was used but but no condom would've been needed seeing as logically he wasn't able to get it up.

Even if you suspend your disbelief and suppose that vampires can get erections, Edward had EVERY reason to wear a condom. I mean, a) If he doesn't, there's a chance that his venom will infect Bella. b) Condoms tend to desensitize guys, which is a good thing for Edward given his concerns about hurting Bella.
That's just the thing, I can't suspend my disbelief that he can get an erection. He has no heart beat or blood and even then, he has no heart beat to make the venom circulate.

A) His venom should have turned Bella. Venom doesn't carry DNA, it carries poison.
B) He hurt her anyway, and a condom would've just been melted by his.....pre venom anyway.

Accepting the basic premise of vampirism means accepting that a human being can die and then reanimate with an unquenchable bloodlust. What's the harm in stretching that a bit further and letting vampires have erections?
Also, couple of thoughts:
a) It's mentioned in Breaking Dawn that the venom takes some time to dissolve Bella's contact lenses, so, hypothetically, as long as Edward pulled off the condom really quickly post-climax, it wouldn't have melted.
b) CANNOT believe I'm giving this so much thought
c) Meyer REALLY should have stayed away from explaining vampire biology. All of this venom nonsense takes an already unbelievable situation and puts it solidly in the realm of ridiculousness.

The reason it takes so long to dissolve the contacts is because they're especially designed, triple thick, and meant only to change eye color. Also, the eyes would only have enough film to keep them moist. A regular contact would take minutes to dissolve, but these take about four hours.

However, just a pre-release of venom in a standard condom would be far more concentrated than a, say, 2-3 millimeter film on a surface wider than the melting object. That would be closer to 5-10 ml depending on the person. And going under the assumption that he didn't pull out, that condom would have been dissolved in seconds.

And I'm not going to assume that they manufacture special condoms for themselves. I already feel bad for being able to say this much.
It only taught me what not to do when writing a novel (stagnant romantic couples, endless purple prose about a handful of topics and little detail on others, some ideas you need to let go of for the sake of the ending).

But the story didn't teach me anything. It was just filler that was only fun half the time.
Avarice Clay's avatar

Tipsy Vampire

I've actually learned a few things:

1. It is okay to be incredibly racist and patronizing towards Native American tribes in your books, even ones who really exist, as long as you give at least one of them a sympathetic portrayal. If you have a religio-magical NA tribe who happily live and work entirely within the confines of the reservation, all well and good because that's all your target audience will imagine them to be like anyway.

2. It's okay for a man to instigate a controlling and emotionally draining relationship as long as he really loves his woman. The fact that the heroine puts up with it is just a sign of how strong and independent she is.

3. It's perfectly fine for a teenage girl to be attracted to someone just because of his good looks and obvious family wealth, because emotional chemistry is very clearly unimportant in a relationship. The only way this set up could possibly be better is if they're both White Anglo-Saxon Protestants.

4. Background details the readers might find important can for your purposes be considered unimportant.

5. Giving an otherwise perfect and uninspiring character a plot irrelevant character flaw, like being clumsy, will make her perfectness utterly forgivable and transform her into a likeable character with tons of depth.

6. There is absolutely a mass market out there for your own personal wish fulfillment stories. (I'm gonna have to remember that one, since I have a series in mind of my own that caters entirely to fulfilling my personal need for escapism.)

7. Superfluous and overly flowery word choices, even when they're absolutely wrong word choices, will make the story that much more credible and can be used to hide the book's essential superstructure. Phrases like "Alice whipped out a silver-colored cell phone as my eyes relocated her" can be used to hide the presence of the author without any problems.
Agent Sawbones
I've actually learned a few things:

4. Background details the readers might find important can for your purposes be considered unimportant.


The background details that 99% of the audience doesn't care about can be described in detail on your FAQ as part of your vengeance against blondes for getting all the boyfriends in high school.
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I learn through love and friendship it is possible to overcome our difficulties.
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hogun43
I learn through love and friendship it is possible to overcome our difficulties.

You sure that isn't Yugioh you learned that from kiddo?
hogun43's avatar

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hogun43
I learn through love and friendship it is possible to overcome our difficulties.

You sure that isn't Yugioh you learned that from kiddo?


Excuse me dude but I dont know who you are but until you learn my real life age, which I wont say to you or on this forum please do not refer to me as kiddo.
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hogun43
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hogun43
I learn through love and friendship it is possible to overcome our difficulties.

You sure that isn't Yugioh you learned that from kiddo?


Excuse me dude but I dont know who you are but until you learn my real life age, which I wont say to you or on this forum please do not refer to me as kiddo.

Wow, just offended by one word. I call even people my age that, what's the big deal?
hogun43
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hogun43
I learn through love and friendship it is possible to overcome our difficulties.

You sure that isn't Yugioh you learned that from kiddo?


Excuse me dude but I dont know who you are but until you learn my real life age, which I wont say to you or on this forum please do not refer to me as kiddo.
Irrelevant post is irrelevant. It indeed does sound like that is better fit for YU-GI-OH than Twilight.
What I learn from Twilight?

Love
Beginning a Relationship
Don't be afraid of sending mixed signals, or being too creepy. People like it when you act like you hate them for a second and then act nice, and then tell them you can't speak again. After all, that's how Edward got Bella. Girls find behavior like this "intriguing."

Guys: How to Treat a Girl
1.) Watching a girl while she sleeps, without her knowledge or consent, is in no way stalkerish or creepy. No, it is a sign of obsession devotion. Even if your girlfriend does serve you with a restraining order, she is really hiding her deep, deep love of having her privacy invaded.
2.) If you find you have feelings for a prepubescent child or baby, it is sick and wrong perfectly ok! You have a chance of winning your love, by buying her presents and acting like an uncle or brother to her *coughChildGroomingcough*. To paraphrase Stephenie Meyer, no girl can resist that level of devotion! Hot loli sex!
3.) Guys, remember that a girl must always be constantly protected. Her other male friends are merely looking to rape her. If they're puny mortals, it's better to cut your true love off from all of those boring humans. If her guy friends is one of them Injuns, hand him a blanket covered in smallpox, or the U.S. Army circa 1875. No wait, that's not what a good, ethical person like you would do! Pawn off your daughter to him and pick up your father of the year award!
Wear glitter. This does not make you seem like you're an in-the-closet gay guy at all! It makes you more pleasent because girls love sparkly things. So stop making fun of the gay kid in your class who wears glitter- he's gonna end up with more babes than you (even though he won't want them)!
4.) All the people you like are superior to all the people you don't.
Use cliché phrases like "You are my life now" and compare her to anything cheesy and romantic, like heroin. Remember, girls want to think they're your only reason to live.
5.) If she denied you, scratch up her face! That kind of abuse devotion is ir-res-sitable! She's bound to give into you out of fear true love! Make sure it's so bad that she has to lie and say a bear did it.
6.) After she's in "love" with you, dissapear for an extended period of time for no reason. If she doesn't cry and mope around like a robot the whole time and do suicidal stunts to see hallucinations of you, then she's not the one for you!

Girls: How to Treat a Guy
1.)Guys love dating cardboard stick figures with no personalities, opinions, or goals in life. If you find you have any of these, I'm afraid you will be unmarried and therefore a worthless woman. Cleanse yourself of them as soon as possible.
2.) Have emotional affairs and set up love triangles. The more complicated the situation, the better things will turn out.
3.) Whine and b***h constantly, even when things aren't that bad. Guys love hearing a girl complain!
4.) Use suicide or the threat of it to manipulate your partner. No, it's not wrong. Guys love unstable chicks.
5.) Don't be independant or strong. Guys have to be the strong one in the relationship or they get bitchy about it. If you are independent or strong rid yourself of these traits so you may find an UHMAZING BF like Eddykinz.
6.) Remember, college is for girls who want to be eternally single and totally not special. Skip it. Who needs an education when your speshul?
7.) Girls, if theres a third wheel in your relationship, have a child and set your daughter up with him. It's the only logical thing to do.
8.) If he dumps you, mope around and cry like you're dying. Also, ignore your family and "friends" and do really dangerous thing to see hallucinations of him. You have no reason to live other than to serve love your sire boyfriend.
9.) Give your demon spawn child a horrible name that will get them teased endlessly in school. Oh, wait, it won't have to go to school because it's too speshul for that.
10.) Be selfish and shallow. It doesn't matter as speshul people are loved by everybody anyway, and guys love selfish, shallow girls.
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MuffinTheOrphan
hogun43
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hogun43
I learn through love and friendship it is possible to overcome our difficulties.

You sure that isn't Yugioh you learned that from kiddo?


Excuse me dude but I dont know who you are but until you learn my real life age, which I wont say to you or on this forum please do not refer to me as kiddo.
Irrelevant post is irrelevant. It indeed does sound like that is better fit for YU-GI-OH than Twilight.

Lol, he's so upset, he never replied to us.
hogun43
I learn through love and friendship it is possible to overcome our difficulties.
There's no such thing as love and friendship in Twilight. You must be confused with the series with something else or you're stupid to understand what Twilight is really is.

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