Worst toy you ever had?

[Avaline Fitheach]

Note: Please don't use this thread to vent about toys you just don't like. That's plain rude, and even if you have a point, I will not allow it. Also, the toy you want to discuss does not have to be of bad quality; I've had plenty of decent quality toys that nonetheless made me want to throw them through a window because of how bad an idea it was generally.

Note numero dos: I made a goof. In my defense, It's been some twelve or thirteen years, so I honestly shouldn't be expected to easily remember the distinction, but... I managed to confuse Giga Pets with Tamagotchi. I've edited this post to reflect this new information, but if you read the thread, don't be alarmed by the first few posts referring to Tamagotchi instead. I've also shortened it to the relevant bits, to make the post less of a wall of text.

One particular toy that tends to top is a little thing I'd gotten for my birthday one year, a Giga Pet. If anyone needs help remembering Giga Pets, well, they were pretty similar to Tamagotchi. Both were released in around late 1996 and early 1997, although Giga Pets was more than likely created to cash in on the virtual pet craze Bandai had started. However, Giga Pets came with four buttons. What those buttons each did, exactly, I can never remember off the top of my head. One of them was a mute button, though, and I distinctly remember none of the toys in question coming with an on/off button.

However, one thing that made Giga Pets and virtual pet games in general both fun and interesting and somewhat tedious was the fact that the virtual pet needs almost constant care. Another thing about Giga Pets that made it kind of a poor toy choice on my parents' part is that like the aforementioned Tamagotchi, your Giga Pet would die if you stopped paying it attention.

Now, Tamagotchi came with one feature that made it fun to play with and thankfully merciful: it came with a tab you could insert to pause your game if you needed to, if you had to put it down for dinner or school. That's where the functional similarities end, aside from a Giga Pet never actually growing. Giga Pets had nothing you could use to actually pause the game as I remember, aside from letting your pet sleep for a few minutes. Meaning it was easier to kill a Giga Pet, because among other complications, it needed near-constant attention, even more than the Tamagotchis did.

Bear in mind, the target audience for games like this was a really young age group, around five to ten years old or so. Young children tend to be impressionable and prone to becoming attached emotionally to animals that make them happy even if they aren't real. I mean, really. Who decided it was a good idea to guilt trip a little kid into constantly playing with their toy by basically holding their virtual pet hostage?

Thankfully, it was possible to start over with another Giga Pet if the first one died, provided the battery was still good. Still, a toy that compels kids to play with it near constantly by taking advantage of their unwillingness to kill their pets by neglect comes off to me as uncharacteristically cruel for a toy designed for young kids, so I consider it to be the worst toy I ever had.

[A Purple Duckie]

I LOVED my tamagotchi, but it was a little mermaid one that allowed you to raise a fish. It had a pause button too, so I could pause it during school and such blaugh

But that is off topic. The toy I think I hated the most was Poo-chi:


I wanted one so bad because the commercials made it look cool ... but it was pretty lame once you got it. It was a dog that could sit and stand, it's eyes would light up, and if you pressed the button on it's head a certain number of times it would bark to the tune of beethoven's 5th. If you don't pet it (press the button) often then it makes angry eye emotes at you.

[Avaline Fitheach]

A Purple Duckie

I LOVED my tamagotchi, but it was a little mermaid one that allowed you to raise a fish. It had a pause button too, so I could pause it during school and such blaugh

But that is off topic. The toy I think I hated the most was Poo-chi:


I wanted one so bad because the commercials made it look cool ... but it was pretty lame once you got it. It was a dog that could sit and stand, it's eyes would light up, and if you pressed the button on it's head a certain number of times it would bark to the tune of beethoven's 5th. If you don't pet it (press the button) often then it makes angry eye emotes at you.

Yeah, I remember that. I had one too, a purple and green one. I ended up burying it in the Nameless Void of Unused Toys after about a month because I'd finally gotten too bored with it to keep myself entertained. I had since unearthed it briefly some three years later, but it's long gone. It also barked along to When The Saints Go Marching In and Wagner's Wedding March. (The makers must have had a thing for German composers.)

Your Tamagotchi must have been one of the newer ones, then. Mine didn't have a pause function, if I remember right. I had one of the originals, so I was about... five, I believe. Even if it did have a pause fuction, it was probably long forgotten two hours into playing with it or buried so deep in the instruction manual I couldn't be bothered with finding it.

[A Purple Duckie]

Agent Sawbones

Yeah, I remember that. I had one too, a purple and green one. I ended up burying it in the Nameless Void of Unused Toys after about a month because I'd finally gotten too bored with it to keep myself entertained. I ended up unearthing it briefly some three years later, but it's long gone. It also barked along to When The Saints Go Marching In and Wagner's Wedding March. (The makers must have had a thing for German composers.)

Your Tamagotchi must have been one of the newer ones, then. Mine didn't have a pause function, if I remember right. I had one of the originals, so I was about... five, I believe. Even if it did have a pause fuction, it was probably long forgotten two hours into playing with it or buried so deep in the instruction manual I couldn't be bothered with finding it.

Yes those were the other songs rofl Mine was pink.

I believe it was, I had some of the older generations (one year for my birthday half my gifts were tamagotchis lol fads) but they never lasted long because I liked to bring them everywhere and they eventually broke, ran out of battery or got wet. The one I talked about was my last one and lasted the longest rofl


glorious

[Mage The Red]

On the subject of horrible toys, does anyone remember the Furby? I mean, hell, the ones who you could teach to speak back to you in English? Yeah, the same ones that could also be taught to curse. I guess my story is that I had one when I was younger, around the 9-10 range when they first came out. I had gotten one for my Birthday, I believe, and boy was the little b*****d annoying.

One, the instructions were difficult as ******** to read. As in they were the most impossible things for a 9-10 year old child to understand. So to try and program a Furby to learn English and hold a conversation with you seems rather... beyond my level of caring.

Two. . . Eh, don't have much more than that.

[Avaline Fitheach]

A Purple Duckie

Agent Sawbones

Yeah, I remember that. I had one too, a purple and green one. I ended up burying it in the Nameless Void of Unused Toys after about a month because I'd finally gotten too bored with it to keep myself entertained. I ended up unearthing it briefly some three years later, but it's long gone. It also barked along to When The Saints Go Marching In and Wagner's Wedding March. (The makers must have had a thing for German composers.)

Your Tamagotchi must have been one of the newer ones, then. Mine didn't have a pause function, if I remember right. I had one of the originals, so I was about... five, I believe. Even if it did have a pause fuction, it was probably long forgotten two hours into playing with it or buried so deep in the instruction manual I couldn't be bothered with finding it.

Yes those were the other songs rofl Mine was pink.

I believe it was, I had some of the older generations (one year for my birthday half my gifts were tamagotchis lol fads) but they never lasted long because I liked to bring them everywhere and they eventually broke, ran out of battery or got wet. The one I talked about was my last one and lasted the longest rofl

Good Christ, I should start scouring E-bay for those, and Furby, while I'm at it. Now I wanna open up a Gen X toy museum, so that when I'm fifty years old I can explain how in my day, we didn't have all this confounded e-book nonsense or i-whatsits; we didn't need these expensive fold-up lap-top Macintosh contraptions with their fancy do-dads and whatchamacallits, and everyone had to have these classics and hrrrmmmm GET AWFFF MAH LAWN YOU HOODLUM WHIPPERSNAPPERS! *shakes cane threateningly*

[A Purple Duckie]

Brooklyn Rage Mage

On the subject of horrible toys, does anyone remember the Furby? I mean, hell, the ones who you could teach to speak back to you in English? Yeah, the same ones that could also be taught to curse. I guess my story is that I had one when I was younger, around the 9-10 range when they first came out. I had gotten one for my Birthday, I believe, and boy was the little b*****d annoying.

One, the instructions were difficult as ******** to read. As in they were the most impossible things for a 9-10 year old child to understand. So to try and program a Furby to learn English and hold a conversation with you seems rather... beyond my level of caring.

Two. . . Eh, don't have much more than that.

My Furby terrified me. I put it in my closet and had it turned "off" and one night it just started talking in the closet over and over again. That is absolutely traumatizing to a kid who watched both goosebumps and are you afraid of the dark?! I don't remember what I did to resolve the issue but I remember not wanting to check the closet because either the furby was haunted or something was in there with it gonk

[Avaline Fitheach]

Brooklyn Rage Mage

On the subject of horrible toys, does anyone remember the Furby? I mean, hell, the ones who you could teach to speak back to you in English? Yeah, the same ones that could also be taught to curse. I guess my story is that I had one when I was younger, around the 9-10 range when they first came out. I had gotten one for my Birthday, I believe, and boy was the little b*****d annoying.

One, the instructions were difficult as ******** to read. As in they were the most impossible things for a 9-10 year old child to understand. So to try and program a Furby to learn English and hold a conversation with you seems rather... beyond my level of caring.

Two. . . Eh, don't have much more than that.

I remember those too, come to think. I just wanted one because they were both very cute and indescribably creepy. Never did get one, though. But I do remember getting something similar: Roarin' Snorin' Norbert, this robotic Norbert robot toy, which I had asked for because I was a massive Harry Potter fan when I was a kid, and still love the books. It was this thing that looked kind of like it could have been something out of a Jim Henson adaptation of Harry Potter. It was also the most unbelievably ugly-cute toy I've ever had, and I still hate being forced to give it away because of how much it defines one of the best parts of my childhood.

[scary crayons]

I actually had an original Tamagotchi, and I loved it!
I remember some very notable things about it though that makes the Tamagotchi in the first post sound like it was either broken, or a bootleg D:

- Tamagotchis went to bed at 8pm every night, and woke up at 8am. Between those times, you couldn't even interact with them, because they were sleeping. I mainly remember this because I used to watch a cartoon channel that went off-air at 8pm, and the channel played an animation of the lights turning off on the channel logo... and when the lights went off on the TV, my Tamagotchi went to bed too. : D

- Tamagotchis had a mute button, which was important for school stuff! You didnt give to take super-constant-attention to them, they just 'evolved' into different forms as they grew up if you took better or worse care of them. They didn't die unless you didn't feed or clean them for three days straight.

- Tamagotchis used a 'plastic tag' thing to turn them off. You'd put the plastic insert into the side, and they would switch off.

- When Tamagotchis died, either from not giving them any attention, or them living out their whole life (30 days), you could just get a new one by resetting the Tamagotchi (putting the plastic tag in the side, then removing it, and starting anew)

Soooo~ Tamagotchis weren't really as bad as that first post made them sound. x3 It does seem like yours was either a bootleg thing, or had its clock set incorrectly, and no instructions to tell you how to mute or reset it. D:

(Though, I do remember someone 'permanently killing' their Tamagotchi by giving it a bath... by putting the electronic thing in soapy water x.x)

[Avaline Fitheach]

scary crayons

I actually had an original Tamagotchi, and I loved it!
I remember some very notable things about it though that makes the Tamagotchi in the first post sound like it was either broken, or a bootleg D:

- Tamagotchis went to bed at 8pm every night, and woke up at 8am. Between those times, you couldn't even interact with them, because they were sleeping. I mainly remember this because I used to watch a cartoon channel that went off-air at 8pm, and the channel played an animation of the lights turning off on the channel logo... and when the lights went off on the TV, my Tamagotchi went to bed too. : D

- Tamagotchis had a mute button, which was important for school stuff! You didnt give to take super-constant-attention to them, they just 'evolved' into different forms as they grew up if you took better or worse care of them. They didn't die unless you didn't feed or clean them for three days straight.

- Tamagotchis used a 'plastic tag' thing to turn them off. You'd put the plastic insert into the side, and they would switch off.

- When Tamagotchis died, either from not giving them any attention, or them living out their whole life (30 days), you could just get a new one by resetting the Tamagotchi (putting the plastic tag in the side, then removing it, and starting anew)

Soooo~ Tamagotchis weren't really as bad as that first post made them sound. x3 It does seem like yours was either a bootleg thing, or had its clock set incorrectly, and no instructions to tell you how to mute or reset it. D:

(Though, I do remember someone 'permanently killing' their Tamagotchi by giving it a bath... by putting the electronic thing in soapy water x.x)

Sorry for the late quote, but I had to take a bit of time to think about it and do some Google research.

As I remember, the very first ones may not have had those features. However, it's been ages, and I don't always remember stuff from 13 odd years ago. And come to think of it, mine probably was just some knock-off product manufactured in China or something. I remembered it being explicitly labeled on the packaging as a Tamagotchi, but it doesn't really seem all that weird in retrospect that some enterprising bootleggers would be ballsy enough to actually claim their junk is the real thing.

If it wasn't a knock-off, though, I'd be pissed at Bandai for stuffing an incomplete game into the box and passing it off as the whole package.

Edit: I feel dumb now. I ran a Google search for Tamagotchi knock offs and, after using a *slightly* different search term, I ended up realizing that what my parents had bought me was not an actual Tamagotchi, but a Giga Pet, a legitimate and fairly similar product released by some company named Tiger Electronics or something like that, which appears to have been bought by Hasbro. All references to Tamagotchi in the original post will be changed accordingly shortly.

[BrittleBone]

Worst toy any child can get is a collectible where the adult tells u to never take it out of the box and that u can never play with it.
How do i know its in there? Plus u cant tell a kid no without the kid thinking DO IT!!!! xd

[scary crayons]

Agent Sawbones

I ran a Google search for Tamagotchi knock offs and, after using a *slightly* different search term, I ended up realizing that what my parents had bought me was not an actual Tamagotchi, but a Giga Pet, a legitimate and fairly similar product released by some company named Tiger Electronics or something like that, which appears to have been bought by Hasbro. All references to Tamagotchi in the original post will be changed accordingly shortly.

No problem, I think a lot of people were scammed by similar Tamagotchi knockoffs. D: I think I remember a friend having some weird 'Dinosaur' themed one that was really loud, constantly beeping all the time, had almost nothing you could do with it other than feed/clean, and had no off button too. D:

I'm trying to think of toys I was disappointed with now... I can't think of many! I tended to like anything. : D I had a superexcitable imagination when I was little so I'd fawn over almost any toy!

I always thought Snakes & Ladders was incredibly boring though... I never really understood why so many people liked it! You just roll the dice, move the spaces, and then someone eventually wins... and there's nothing interesting about it.

Every other board game had some kind of interesting element to it (like Mouse Trap, or the Game of Life, or Clue, or whatever)... but Snakes and Ladders was just moving along the board, and occasionally going up or down. So boring. D:

[Avaline Fitheach]

scary crayons

Agent Sawbones

I ran a Google search for Tamagotchi knock offs and, after using a *slightly* different search term, I ended up realizing that what my parents had bought me was not an actual Tamagotchi, but a Giga Pet, a legitimate and fairly similar product released by some company named Tiger Electronics or something like that, which appears to have been bought by Hasbro. All references to Tamagotchi in the original post will be changed accordingly shortly.

No problem, I think a lot of people were scammed by similar Tamagotchi knockoffs. D: I think I remember a friend having some weird 'Dinosaur' themed one that was really loud, constantly beeping all the time, had almost nothing you could do with it other than feed/clean, and had no off button too. D:

I'm trying to think of toys I was disappointed with now... I can't think of many! I tended to like anything. : D I had a superexcitable imagination when I was little so I'd fawn over almost any toy!

I always thought Snakes & Ladders was incredibly boring though... I never really understood why so many people liked it! You just roll the dice, move the spaces, and then someone eventually wins... and there's nothing interesting about it.

Every other board game had some kind of interesting element to it (like Mouse Trap, or the Game of Life, or Clue, or whatever)... but Snakes and Ladders was just moving along the board, and occasionally going up or down. So boring. D:

I suppose it was fun because we got to laugh at someone else's misfortune, or something like that. Candyland was pretty much boring after you hit the age of five for the same reasons; I mean, all there ever is to the game is rolling the dice and hoping you get lucky. Random chance games aren't interesting by themselves.

[Gundamu]

I remember going to an anime convention and picking up a MSIA Gundam Epyon toy. It was awful! Every single joint was crap. Any time I would try to pose it things would just fall off.

[Chewbecca The Brave]

A toy kitchen -_- wtf were they preparing me for?