Listen up, because I'm only going to say this once.
It's something I've never told anyone: not my family, not my friends. My partners, my Fujicakes, not even my pet rock Ezellohar (may his soul rest in peace), have any idea what I'm about to say. I don't think I need to tell you that this has been a secret--SHEE-EE-KU-REH-TOH--all my life.
And I'm in no big hurry to say it, either! This is not something I'm up in a huff about getting off of my chest, you dig? I've spent a lot of time--my good, valuable time, thank you, none of that 'waiting in the dentist's office' stuff--thinking about this. A lot of cigarettes and pots of coffee died to make this confession, so you'd better listen to me!
Okay... here goes:
I... *licks his lips* Uh, well, sometimes, no--dammit! Hold on a minute, let me start again.