Desolation of Smaug was a joke; obvious spoilers

[satan pizza]

I honestly didn't mind the first movie, despite them having an over-usage of CGI and adding in the Pale Orc story.
But as it continues I just see it going downhill really fast.
It feels like Peter Jackson thought that making three in depth films would be a good way to satisfy the audience, but then went,
"s**t we can finish this in two movies."
"Alright guys lets add in a bunch of time consuming bullshit to make up for it."
The scenes with Smaug in it started out really good in my opinion. Smaug was calculating, intimidating, and played the role of the villain really well. I was tensed up in my seat watching Bilbo tiptoe his way around Smaug, literally and figuratively.
But then the rest of the movie happened.
By the time the Dwarves got there they basically reduced Smaug into your average, unintelligent TV Show villain. They tricked him into a cat and mouse chase on the bridges. They tricked him into turning on the furnaces. They ambushed him with water. They ambushed him with the flash bombs. They ambushed him with the Golden mold of the dwarf. And they managed to do all of this by taunting him with comments about him being a slow, fat slug.
I don't even want to talk about the seconds he wasted just standing there waiting for their plans to hit him.
And then there was the whole fiasco with Tauriel and Kili. I can't even think of a good reason to add that in except to kill more time. It's, again, your average female character story, she runs off to save some guy she barely knows.
And those CGI fight flips.
I will agree that some of the fight choreography was pretty cool, but when they started adding in cheesy fight moves it really ruined the fights for me. Like Legolas jumping from Dwarf head to Dwarf head, pausing, doing a 180, bouncing on more dwarf heads, ad infinitum.
emotion_facepalm
And then Gandalf confronting Sauron/Necromancer/Dementor.
Some of these scenes I didn't mind that much, but they overdid the whole Darkness vs Light Magic thing here imo. I really didn't want to sit there watching Gandalfs Light Sphere retract and expand 5 times, then watch him cast it again, rinse repeat etc whatever.

Overall it was like Percy Jackson took in plotline from Disney cliches and then slapped The Hobbit in next to it.

[crystuls]

i went to the midnight premiere last night, and every problem i had with it you had already said. i couldn't have described it better myself, and reading this "I really didn't want to sit there watching Gandalfs Light Sphere retract and expand 5 times, then watch him cast it again" made me laugh so much.
Anyways, that being said, other than what you had already pointed out I thought this movie was fantastic. The 3D was really intense for me, i near peed myself when it showed the spider for the first time (yuck!) I actually thought they did a really super amazing job with the movie, even though it had it's downfalls.

Thank you for writing this, I enjoyed reading this a lot.

[satan pizza]

crystuls

i went to the midnight premiere last night, and every problem i had with it you had already said. i couldn't have described it better myself, and reading this "I really didn't want to sit there watching Gandalfs Light Sphere retract and expand 5 times, then watch him cast it again" made me laugh so much.
Anyways, that being said, other than what you had already pointed out I thought this movie was fantastic. The 3D was really intense for me, i near peed myself when it showed the spider for the first time (yuck!) I actually thought they did a really super amazing job with the movie, even though it had it's downfalls.

Thank you for writing this, I enjoyed reading this a lot.

yeah I watched it in 2D, but even with those downfalls, I really enjoyed the Spider scenes and the beginning scenes with Smaug.

[reokoe]

On Tauriel...

I was apprehensive about Tauriel from the beginning, because of how female characters are handled in movies today.
And I was correct. I'm not really a fan of Evangaline Lilly to begin with, but they made her a "bad a**" Mary Sue.
Everyone automatically liked her, Kili, Legolas had feelings for her, Thranduil "favored" her.
I hated it.
She shouldn't have existed.
Not because she's female, not because she's non-canon, not because she was "expanded on from a partially mentioned elf" (Haldir was barely mentioned in the Fellowship, and his role in Helm's Deep was added in by Jackson, and it was amazing. I loved his story (not the ending such sadness no Haldir it's just a fleshwound stahp)...
But because she was FAR too young to be the Captain of Thranduil's guard.
She left Thranduil, HER KING'S, side after the orc invasion, with the added threat of the spiders and the forest's sickness, to go off on a tangent for a dwarf she should have NEVER had feelings for. Had she been raised by Thranduil's guidance, as Legolas' comments suggested, she'd have had such feelings as Legolas himself towards the Dwarven race.
Not run away from an esteemed and highly reguarded post as Captain of the Mirkwood Guard to chase after one because he was hurt.
Even Arwen's story being fleshed out was nice (though I'm sorry, Mortensen and Tyler have absolutely NO chemistry...)
And don't EVEN get me started on her hair.
The race of elves that had red hair were, by the third age, EXTINCT. AND, her hair was FAR too long. Length of hair in Elven culture is a type of status symbol. The lady Galadriel was supposed to have the longest, fairest hair of all elves, because she herself was among the wisest and oldest still alive by the time of the events of the Hobbit.

I gave her a chance.
She was terrible.
The love triangle, the healing scene (OH the awkward)...just...no.
Jackson, BOYENS....just no.

On Azog

I didn't mind Azog as much.
Technically in Tolkien's writings, Azog was already dead, it does add a little bit more to the story to flesh it to 3 installations. I would have liked Azog a LOT more if he'd been a real effect rather than so much CGI. If you saw the Azog display on Weta's site from Comicon, you'd know how legitimately terrifying he looks as a real effect.
I would have liked it better that way. Same with Bolg, his son.

On Smaug

I actually liked that Thorin was able to flush Smaug the way he was. There was a lot of venom between the two, and while he should never have known Thorin as "Oakenshield", since that was the name he aquired when they tried to reclaim Moria during the battle of Azanulbizar after sack of Smaug, so that was kind of a thing for me... but they flustered the prideful Smaug, which is how they were able to coax him into the chase scenes. I loved it. They, especially Thorin, made a fool of him after he spent so much time basking in Bilbo's praises.
The main thing that bothered me with Smaug, were his last two lines in the movie.
"I am fire....I am DEATH!"
Forced.
So forced.
Why for you force lines?

On the CGI scenes...

Remember, the Hobbit was written as a children's book.
It's supposed to have more whimsical feelings and scenes to it, as compared to the LoTR trilogy. Plus, elves are far more lithe and physically super-human as compared to the race of man, orcs, goblins, etc. And the dwarves in the barrels, I felt, was more for comedic humor. (Bombur knows what scene I'm talking about. I laughed so hard...)

and finally...

On Gandalf/ Necromancer, etc...

Where they discover that the tombs of the Wraiths were broken free, and that the Nine were loose, that was amazing. It adds to the Fellowship. It added to the oppressing threat that Sauron was returning.
The whole Necromancer thing, unless they can salvage it in There and Back Again, I'll be confused and a bit disappointed.
Flesh it out Jackson, and be quick about it... you're losing people on this one.
I feel like it'll add to the whole "Breeding an army" thing mentioned in the Fellowship, but right now, I'm still in "WAT" mode.

I will say, however, that if Gandalf has to call the Eagles, again, I'll be furious.
We get it, Jackson.
They're neat. They're huge. They're one of Gandalf's allies (sort of...)... don't ruin it.

[III_of_Wands]

So don't see it? I was apprehensive before as every female character in Disney gets the princess treatment, but I really only did see the first for the party and Smaug.

[Challenger Smurf]

I saw it today and was a little disappointed. I think maybe it was because I was hyping myself up about it for a year but idk.

I really liked the beginning of the movie, it was interesting, but I thought that it got boring reallllyy fast. I just kept thinking, "when is the good stuff gonna happen is there any fights or something??"

The forest bit was fun and I enjoyed it. Whenever the elves popped up I was like "ok i didnt expect that gj". I liked the whole elf part EXCEPT when Thorin is sassing Thranduil and the girl elf. Whenever Thranduil is listening to Thorin rant he looked like..really concerned and hurt and I thought it was OOC because I wasn't expecting a reaction like that.
The girl elf (already forgot her name) ...uhm..she shouldn't have been there. One of the main reasons I liked the 1st movie so much was because there was like 0 romance, but now there is. I don't see why there had to be any, there's nothing wrong with a movie that's solely about adventure.

I hated everything about dol guldur and it was really boring. It felt like there was 5 different things happening at the same time in the movie and I didn't like that.

I loved the Smaug scenes though. They were really fun and I was on the edge of my seat the whole time.

[MasturChef]

You've said pretty much everything that needs to be said. I felt okay about the first movie; not too thrilled, but not disappointed. But this one... Eh... After the first film, I knew they were gonna try to insert as much filler as possible to make it a three-part film, because I thought this could have been done in two. And this second film only cemented those thoughts. That COMPLETELY shoehorned romance, man... And THAT ENDING. I thought the ending for the first film was a bit forced... This was a terrible ending. I've heard people call it a cliffhanger.. Cliffhanger for what? We know EXACTLY what's going to happen next. This is more like you decided to close the book before reading the next sentence.

[Quank]

I'm still trying to figure out whether Legolas was a different actor or just a chubby Orlando Bloom.

Edit: also, THORIN. Wtf kind of king is he? Bilbo keeps saving him.
"Oh the key doesn't work? I guess we should all leave now..."
"Go find the stone Bilbo. I'm not letting you leave until you find it."

He keeps going back and forth between King/wuss/bad-guy. That scene where he tells Kili to stay behind could have been so much better. It should have been "Take care of your wound" not "You'll slow us down." Good on his brother for staying behind with him. I would hate to have a king like Thorin.

[Tobi Kaito]

The movie isn't as bad as what it could have been in today's world, I think we can all agree on that. :3

Need an example of terrible movie look at Smurfs 2. >_<

[Zachravel]

Jack_Spadez

The movie isn't as bad as what it could have been in today's world, I think we can all agree on that. :3

Need an example of terrible movie look at Smurfs 2. >_<

Agreed. I enjoyed it too. Maybe because I didn't read the books I have no complaints. The light vs darkness thing was cheesy and forgettable. I didn't remember it until I read the comments above XD

[ShadyoFayx]

Overall, I was very disappointed in this Hobbit movie. I thought that the first one was done well, despite the Pale Orc story. The Desolation of Smaug, I felt, was very rushed. It felt like Peter Jackson was just trying to make a quick buck and didn't take the time to study the book and to make it go in order.

The one scene I liked was the barrel scene, but only because it had some interesting moments. Legolas didn't seem at all cool though, with jumping from dwarf head to dwarf head. I felt like throughout the entire movie, they were trying to get the audience to laugh. Yes, I understand that when Tolkien wrote it; it was for his children, but that doesn't mean that it has to be funny. I honestly felt that the LOTR movies were WAY, WAY, WAY better than the Hobbit, which is kind of sad considering that Hobbit has a freaking Dragon in it.

Anyways.

I also agree that the movie had a lot of time killers in it. The whole scene with Beorn could've been done better as well, since in the book, they have to go in two by two, since the skinshifter doesn't like dwarves. Instead, they rushed through that whole scene. I felt like they rushed through the Mirkwoods too. They don't really portray the intensity of the darkness and having hardly any breathable air. Oh, and they should've shown Bombur falling into the water and falling asleep.

What I DID like about the movie was how they portrayed Bilbo starting to get possessed by the ring. They showed how he wanted the ring for himself.

All-in-all, I was disappointed and really hoping that they do a better job on the third movie.

[Erailea]

Honestly, I liked how the Dwarves played with Smaug. It made good note of his vain and arrogant nature, which (evil) dragons are rather known for. Yeah, Samug fell for some of their stunts, but they never actually hurt him. Slowed him down a bit and made him angry, but that's it, so the real joke was on the dwarves who thought they were winning.

[lilmissladeh]

Its come to the point where i have to separate myself from viewing this as a fan of the book, to viewing it as a movie.
As a movie i thought it was wonderful (aside from Smaug suddenly becoming a slow unintelligent dragon) I thought that was a little rushed, but made a good point, the scene transpired as a way to redeem Thorin.
As for the "love triangle" thing, I thought it played out alright. Tauriel(sp) had issues with Thurandil(sp??) being so wrapped up in never doing anything about anything/anyone. She was already feeling itchy to leave and do something about the outside world and Kili gave her a reason too. It wasn't "love" it was flirtation. a Cute story that was indeed added into the movie for a "romance" and while yes kind of forced, did have depth.

I did find the light vs dark kind of cheesy, just how it was played out.

But overall I enjoyed it. I really did, I like everything i would go see it again.
as a movie.
But as an adaptation to The Hobbit book, without knowing what was added in from Tolkien's other manuscripts and what was a Peter Jackson fanfiction, it was...disappointing? Still worthy of seeing.

I just think we work ourselves up to much about movie/book adaptations when they are very different forms of entertainment. That require very different things to be successful.

Don't see the movie if you're going to be upset about storylines and having as close as possible outcome is a big deal for you.

If you can enjoy it for a great movie on its own then i high recommend it.

[Edelaen]

You know, I liked the movie. The movie was okay, I was watching it with high interest, on one breath.
Now, about romantic scenes between dwarf and elf:
Some of the Tauriel/Kili moments... This is just... emotion_puke
I understand, that PJ needed balance for males and females, and also, the creation of a storyline.
But srsly. Dwarves love only dwarves, also, dwarves rarely fall inlove at all, ESPECIALLY with elves.
But that's just my opinion.
I just believed that PJ is more talented to create the story line,
a normal story line, not something like this.

[satan pizza]

Quank

I'm still trying to figure out whether Legolas was a different actor or just a chubby Orlando Bloom.

Edit: also, THORIN. Wtf kind of king is he? Bilbo keeps saving him.
"Oh the key doesn't work? I guess we should all leave now..."
"Go find the stone Bilbo. I'm not letting you leave until you find it."

He keeps going back and forth between King/wuss/bad-guy. That scene where he tells Kili to stay behind could have been so much better. It should have been "Take care of your wound" not "You'll slow us down." Good on his brother for staying behind with him. I would hate to have a king like Thorin.

Yeah, Thorin's such a douchebag, I really hated him in the films. lol