GD i need help how do I deal with this kind of person

[fanclubwallet]

Like I'm trying not to be mean but this friend (more accurately an acquaintance) of mine is really good at overstaying his welcome. To accurately describe him, he's kind of the textbook definition of a "low-life". But my heart goes out to him.

Yes, he always has an excuse for things not going his way and doesn't take responsibility for s**t in his life.
Yes, he gets s**t hours at gamestop and is broke & can't afford his own place.
Yes, he thinks he's above working at places like Wal Mart or McDonald's because he refuses to pay his dues.
He's borderline homeless because he's exhausted every other person's generosity...so, once more, he comes to me for help.
(Yes, he's a repeat offender here. Last time he stayed on the couch with me he pissed off my roommate & I was forced to see him out.)

I have had to remind him to apply for jobs, look for an apartment, take simple hygienic measures so he doesn't look and smell homeless. He ends up eating a LOT of my food when I was only generous enough to give him just a meal. When I used to come home from work or school I would only find him still on the couch, not even lifting a finger to help clean up or s**t. Just watched anime & played videogames all day.

UGH. It's so ******** frustrating because I've tried every means to talk to him and turn his life around, but he's very stubborn in his ways. MONTHS later, and he's still at this same bullshit. So yesterday I let him crash the night, against my better judgment. While today I did see glimpses of hope due to him letting me help him with his résumé, it was understood that he would only be returning to stay with me & my roommate for ONE night. Now it's today, and he hasn't really made much progress at all on finding another job or apartment.

I'm not the kind of person to kick someone to the curb so I made some ads on reddit and craigslist for him to let another person take him for a while. I say realistically the way he is they'll give him 1 week TOPS if they're generous. He thinks he'll get a month or 2. lol I just don't know if I should dump him tonight. If I'm really doing the right thing by making him someone else's problem to deal with. I'm acting as his safety net, when the best thing for him to improve might really be to hit rock-bottom.

What do you think guys? discuss

[Deflesh]

Kill him.

[Sir Gjom]

Put him out.
The only thing that will fix this is tough love at this point.

[fanclubwallet]

Deflesh

Kill him.

I feel like I might if he doesn't get his s**t together.
I mean my roommate might have a point

if he doesn't survive on his own out there
well then

survival of the fittest, right?

[famicum]

wow, i would tell him to get out.
he needs to work enough to support himself.
tell him to have some humility.

[chordae tendineae]

You're a nice person to be a friend to him still despite his BS. But sometimes people need a real slap in the face to get anywhere. I say, if he doesn't fulfil his goals within the next two weeks (finding a job, paying his own meals, maintaining your place), he has to go.

I'd make a written contract and have him sign it. People take those more seriously.

[Areku no Kimi]

I feel you so hard on this. Reading this I'm like "you ******** IDIOT" but only because I've gone through a very similar situation and it obviously didn't end well (for my bank account). It's hard to turn people away knowing that no one else would be willing to help, but some people are losers and always will be no matter how much you help. Cut him off.

[yes i know im sexy]

Deflesh

Kill him.

[fanclubwallet]

Sir Gjom

Put him out.
The only thing that will fix this is tough love at this point.

I know man but the thing is, like I said, I just don't think it's gonna end well for the people that are foolishly kind enough to let him stay for the time he's asking for (2 months)

he's gonna be someone else's problem at least
but for how long until he shows up on my doorstep again?
******** s**t.

[Deflesh]

Marc Demaco

Deflesh

Kill him.

I feel like I might if he doesn't get his s**t together.
I mean my roommate might have a point

if he doesn't survive on his own out there
well then

survival of the fittest, right?

Totally.

Dump the body in the ocean with a bunch of rocks. They'll never know the difference.

[Omnia Mundis]

Just have a serious talk and/or kick him out. He's done this with lots of people apparently, and he's not going to learn anytime soon.

[Sir Gjom]

Marc Demaco

Sir Gjom

Put him out.
The only thing that will fix this is tough love at this point.

I know man but the thing is, like I said, I just don't think it's gonna end well for the people that are foolishly kind enough to let him stay for the time he's asking for (2 months)

he's gonna be someone else's problem at least
but for how long until he shows up on my doorstep again?
******** s**t.

Don't let him back in, bro.
It's not worth it. He needs some kick in the a**.

[Ghoul Bebe]

I'm ashamed to say this but for 5 months I dated a guy JUST like this friend of yours. He was also borderline homeless, narcissistic and quite frankly a leech. I would buy him groceries, I let him live with me for a few weeks, I did his laundry and so much more. I did so much to try and help him get his life together all for nothing. I found him a job that paid $400 a week; he quit it after a few weeks. He wasted all of the money on useless things.

So eventually I gave up trying to help him. And yes, he eventually became homeless. But that was the kick in the a** he needed. He hit ROCK BOTTOM and realized he had to take responsibility for his life. No more excuses. No more waiting for things to come to him.

He has a well paying job. A home. A car. He's doing perfectly fine now.

Basically what I'm saying is that you need to be firm and explain that your apartment is not just your home, it's your roommate's home. Think of your poor roommate. They just want to come home and relax. This is causing you a lot of stress in a place where you are supposed to feel at peace. He can't stay with you. He can't come back. This will be good for him! It feels awful, I know, and you will feel so guilty. But maybe this guy needs to hit rock bottom too. People like him just can't be babied. They need to learn that rent and groceries and all that they've been dreaming of won't just fall from the sky into their laps. Tough love, bro. Tough love.

You seriously can't be his mommy anymore.

[fanclubwallet]

diglet dig

wow, i would tell him to get out.
he needs to work enough to support himself.
tell him to have some humility.

wow you're the only person i know that likes oOoOO
wtf marry me

sorry unrelated but yeah he lacks the ability to be grateful
he blurts out the words "i'll pay you back" like nothing.

I don't think he understands what those words mean.

[vuimi]

He's like a really shitty pimple you just need to pop out of your life

Seriously though
Not worth your time