Females and "bad boys"

[DerFisch]

I don't know if this has been mentioned yet (and I apologize if it has). I've been lazy and didn't read the other pages. But I've also heard that girls will chase after "bad boys" with the intent of "fixing" him. They think they're the thing he really needs. Someone motherly to fawn after him and care about him. That maybe after all those years of anger and agression said bad boy will suddenly turn a new leaf and turn into Prince Charming. *scoff* But, that too never works. *knows from experience* stare

[greensugar]

DerFisch

I don't know if this has been mentioned yet (and I apologize if it has). I've been lazy and didn't read the other pages. But I've also heard that girls will chase after "bad boys" with the intent of "fixing" him. They think they're the thing he really needs. Someone motherly to fawn after him and care about him. That maybe after all those years of anger and agression said bad boy will suddenly turn a new leaf and turn into Prince Charming. *scoff* But, that too never works. *knows from experience* stare

i agree with that, i'm guilty of trying to do that...but i do agree, it doesn't work. (atleast most of the time it doesnt)

[Songlian]

Oh, for heaven's sake!

I find myself wondering how many people in this conversation have had any form of real relationship. Ah, well.

I've dated 'nice guys', and I've dated 'bad boys'. Both terms are sickening, but hey, I'm prepared to work with what you're giving me this once.

In my experience, a self-professed 'nice guy' is to be run from like the very plague, because he is extremely likely to be a passive-aggressive immature ******** whiner, who blames his own issues on others. "I can't get a girl because they all like jerks!" as opposed to "I can't get a girl because my behaviour around them is repellantly sappy".

Nobody wants to date soppy wet whiners who can't stand up for themselves - not against other guys, but against their girlfriend. Men who always let you have your own way are just as bad as ones who never let you have your way. men to whom you can do no wrong are a complete ******** nightmare. You can't have a relationship with that. You can push it over, maybe scream at it a bit in the hope of getting a reaction with some kind of spine in it, but you damn well can't find any passion for it, nor with it can any romance occur. Because it's like trying to care about a lump of damp, soggy cotton-wool. It's inherently faintly disgusting.

"Bad boys" on the other hand - it mays suprise you, nice guys out there, but just because a man acts one way in public or towards you, this doesn't mean that he is the same in private or towards his girlfriend. The guys I've dated who were proclaimed jerks by 'nice' people in the vicinity have as a rule been far and away better at treating me like an actual human being than any 'nice' man I've been with.

So here's my advice - try treating your girlfriend like an adult human being, and stop blaming the fact nobody wants to ******** you on them having bad taste.

[Mystery Ceres]

Dealing with aggresive guys, I have never had one as a boyfriend, but my dad is the very aggresive and dominant type. All I can say, is that my dad's personality, in combination with my stubborness, is the whole reason why we hate each other. I see the way that he's rude and obnoxious to my mom and others. It sickens me.

I always found the nice shy quiet guy to be the most attractive. Based on experience, they seem to be more loving and grateful for their girlfriends. To use my BF as an example, he (not to brag) treats me like a queen. He accepts me the way that I am and isn't trying to change me. I used to be 15 lbs heavier, but he still loved me then. He calls me stuff like "green-eyed goddess" and "celestial maiden." Then, when I offer the same kind of affection to him, he accepts it graciously.

I would much rather have that kind of a relationship that one where the guy doesn't care about us as a couple.

Also, just because a guy is shy and quiet in front of most people, if you really let him get to know you, you may find a much wilder side entirely dedicated to the girl he loves... mrgreen

[Sanddru]

Laenis

On another forum, there was a discussion about the whole idea that a lot of girls don't like nice guys, but "bad boys" - the type that only care about themselves, are agressive, dominant and subscribe to the philosophy of "Treat them mean, keep them keen"

I personally have no interest in girls who are like that - I would like to think I am a nice guy. I used to be more assertive and agressive, and it did get me more attention from females. However, I just wasn't as happy like that as I am being shy and reserved - it's not who I am. Anyway, I would be interested in knowing what other people think on a subject which also came up in the discussion - should females who pursue only what they regard as "real men" expect to be held at least a little accountable if they suffer from domestic violence?

I mean...is it a case of "If you play with matches, you'll get burned" or do you think that it's natural for the woman to be submissive and the man to be dominant, and therefore those who naturally prefer the more assertive types can't help it and shouldn't expect that they might get hurt?

Actually i like nice quiet whatever boys (cough*even feminine boys*cough)

..Like Shinya from Dir En Grey or Mana from Malice Mizer/Moi Dix Mois... don't ask who they are... but if you know who they are, your cool 4laugh

Anyway, it's just stupid to just fall for "bad boys" rolleyes

[La Veuve Zin]

Sneer

Just because you're an a*****e doesn't mean you're abusive.
I'd never. never strike a woman.

I know--and I've slept with--a few guys like that. They're sarcastic, they don't suffer fools, they stand up for themselves, but they'd never even pressure a woman into sex.
It's not that women don't like "nice guys," they don't like spineless, boring guys.

[La Veuve Zin]

DerFisch

I don't know if this has been mentioned yet (and I apologize if it has). I've been lazy and didn't read the other pages. But I've also heard that girls will chase after "bad boys" with the intent of "fixing" him. They think they're the thing he really needs. Someone motherly to fawn after him and care about him. That maybe after all those years of anger and agression said bad boy will suddenly turn a new leaf and turn into Prince Charming. *scoff* But, that too never works. *knows from experience* stare

I know better than to try to change people, but I've liked guys because they're nice to me despite being an a*****e to just about everyone else. You can't help but feel special...

[Nero Wolf]

females go on and on about respect, but they only want some guy to man handle them around.

[Gravediggerjon22]

Nero Wolf

females go on and on about respect, but they only want some guy to man handle them around.

When I was in High School I was a regular Billy Badass and the ladies were all up ons! But, as time went on, and I grew up, and they grew up, superficial images took a back seat to geuine intrest. In other words, I'm still a macho jerk it just doesn't impress the ladies!

[Mystery Ceres]

La Veuve Zin

Sneer

Just because you're an a*****e doesn't mean you're abusive.
I'd never. never strike a woman.

I know--and I've slept with--a few guys like that. They're sarcastic, they don't suffer fools, they stand up for themselves, but they'd never even pressure a woman into sex.
It's not that women don't like "nice guys," they don't like spineless, boring guys.

Not to argue or anything, but nice guys arent always spineless or boring. My boyfriend was very shy around me at first and I know that when he asked me out it was it was not easy for him to do. Courage is not a lack of fear, it is the overcoming of it.

[aguyuno]

Songlian

Oh, for heaven's sake!

I find myself wondering how many people in this conversation have had any form of real relationship. Ah, well.

I've dated 'nice guys', and I've dated 'bad boys'. Both terms are sickening, but hey, I'm prepared to work with what you're giving me this once.

In my experience, a self-professed 'nice guy' is to be run from like the very plague, because he is extremely likely to be a passive-aggressive immature ******** whiner, who blames his own issues on others. "I can't get a girl because they all like jerks!" as opposed to "I can't get a girl because my behaviour around them is repellantly sappy".

Nobody wants to date soppy wet whiners who can't stand up for themselves - not against other guys, but against their girlfriend. Men who always let you have your own way are just as bad as ones who never let you have your way. men to whom you can do no wrong are a complete ******** nightmare. You can't have a relationship with that. You can push it over, maybe scream at it a bit in the hope of getting a reaction with some kind of spine in it, but you damn well can't find any passion for it, nor with it can any romance occur. Because it's like trying to care about a lump of damp, soggy cotton-wool. It's inherently faintly disgusting.

"Bad boys" on the other hand - it mays suprise you, nice guys out there, but just because a man acts one way in public or towards you, this doesn't mean that he is the same in private or towards his girlfriend. The guys I've dated who were proclaimed jerks by 'nice' people in the vicinity have as a rule been far and away better at treating me like an actual human being than any 'nice' man I've been with.

So here's my advice - try treating your girlfriend like an adult human being, and stop blaming the fact nobody wants to ******** you on them having bad taste.

So, let me see if I understand. We're immature because we don't treat you like items, yet you're totally mature because you date bad boys just cause of seeking adventure.

Nah, I'm just kidding; I understand what you mean. However, "nice" guys aren't always overly sensitive, pussies like the ones you mentioned.

Edit: To clarify, I've been called sweet numerous times, but I'm a total asshat in public namely because I'm a VERY spiteful man. Towards those I care about I'm totally caring and all that s**t, but those who cross me I send away in tears.

[Poshlust]

I don't like jerks, but I don't like wimps either. How about a nice balance of both?

I like guys who can open up to me and tell me their most embarrassing secrets, but I also like guys who'll stand up for themselves and can protect me, if need be. Most people feel this way, I'm sure. 3nodding

I'm sure there are 'bad boys' out there who are complete and total sweethearts and softies once you get to know them, and THAT'S why girls like them, not because they have a nice shiny motorcycle and beat guys up on a regular basis.

[aguyuno]

Chibi Ao

I don't like jerks, but I don't like wimps either. How about a nice balance of both?

I like guys who can open up to me and tell me their most embarrassing secrets, but I also like guys who'll stand up for themselves and can protect me, if need be. Most people feel this way, I'm sure. 3nodding

I'm sure there are 'bad boys' out there who are complete and total sweethearts and softies once you get to know them, and THAT'S why girls like them, not because they have a nice shiny motorcycle and beat guys up on a regular basis.

I'm both of those, yet I still don't get anywhere in life because girls tend to prefer the "OMG HAWT GUI WITH AN UUZIE". I think that's what the OP is refering to.

[Amphex]

Nero Wolf

females go on and on about respect, but they only want some guy to man handle them around.

I guess it goes back to women just not knowing what the hell they want.

Instead of going to the extremes of the whole "nice guy/bad guy" stereotype, find some balance in the man you want.

[DerFisch]

La Veuve Zin

DerFisch

I don't know if this has been mentioned yet (and I apologize if it has). I've been lazy and didn't read the other pages. But I've also heard that girls will chase after "bad boys" with the intent of "fixing" him. They think they're the thing he really needs. Someone motherly to fawn after him and care about him. That maybe after all those years of anger and agression said bad boy will suddenly turn a new leaf and turn into Prince Charming. *scoff* But, that too never works. *knows from experience* stare

I know better than to try to change people, but I've liked guys because they're nice to me despite being an a*****e to just about everyone else. You can't help but feel special...

Yeh, I know what you mean. My best guy friend is like that. Total douchebag to the majority of the population, yet when I'm in the vicinity it's nothing but decent conversation and clever humor.