` white wings & double identities ⊰ ♔ ⊱ IC

[Caliginosity Wings]

Eating my food I nodded as Dallas said the rules were a joke. They clearly were. It was my job to be able to not only protect my team mates but the school if necessary. Guns were my speciality. Well many things were my speciality but it seemed rather natural to have one in my hand. So wouldn’t be stupid to not let me practise? On the other hand Derichs, well I personally didn’t think he was joke. Well some of his personality has much left to be desired, but that really had nothing to do with me. Derichs basically was doing his job and he was just making sure he didn’t get in trouble with the higher ups. But when Lily spoke I couldn’t help but gape. She had never touched a gun? Well she didn’t say that but it came across as that. Topaz weren’t allowed to even go near the guns? What sense did that make? If they were allowed near poison and what not why not guns? What if they didn’t have anything to protect themselves with but a gun? I’m really starting to debate the sanity of the teachers by this stage.

Perking up as Lily said she wouldn’t mind coming along next time I practised, I nodded. I probably would have to teach her how to use one properly but I would rather have her know how to handle one properly than have her randomly pick one out and end up injuring herself. She may use me as a scape goat, but I doubt she knows just how well I handle a gun. She isn’t on my team so she hasn’t even seen me out in the field. “We’ll see.” Going back to my food, I couldn’t help but be confused at the rest of Lily’s words. What was stopping at me? What was this migration thing? It must be an inside joke of some sort. Shrugging to myself I continued to eat as they talked what they would be doing today during their training. I wasn’t a Topaz so it didn’t really have much to do with me. Well nothing I couldn’t learn by going through the video archives.

And then suddenly somebody sat down between Dallas and I. that wasn’t what bothered me about the new person it was when they called me ‘Gups’ I turned and looked at the person. It was Rachel, the only person who gets away with calling me that. Well that may be because I one of the very few that gets away with calling a slut to her face and not end up with a gun in my face. Although that’s probably a mix of the fact I saved her on my first mission in Gamma and the fact I keep track of all the people she’s slept with. It’s not like I can forget the list either. She tells me and it’s all stored. I haven’t told her about my brain though, there’s no need to ruin all the fun. “Fish Market.” Yeah that was how I addressed Rachel but that’s nothing new. Glancing at Lily, I was only just just catch what she had muttered and smirked. Oh course some people didn’t like Rachel. Rachel dearest was the school’s bicycle after all.

The shouts and a fight popping out somewhere else yet not that far from where I was wouldn’t stop me from eating. I ended to eat so I could bulk up. Pish who am I kidding, I of much more value the way I am. Other than perhaps a few of the other male Asian students in the school and I really do mean a few I’m the only one that seems to be able to cross-dress successfully. Not that I’ve been doing that from missions since the stupid rumor about me being a girl came into being, but meh. I was drawn out of my thoughts as the table was bumped into and I had the evil chibi lying on the table in front of me. Um what the hell? That was my bowl of pickled radish she had just knocked over. Watching as she got up I had no time to dodge out of the way and found Rachael’s luncheon meat on my face. Really? And Delilah wonders why I treat her like a kid. Pealing the piece of meat off my face, I wasn’t expecting something else to hit the back of my head followed along with the words ‘food fight’.

This food fight thing, lets just say food fights and I don’t get along. I would rather not have to deal with it. With the yelling and screaming and the food going everywhere let’s just say my brain might go into shut down mode. It’s odd because on missions it doesn’t but food fights and things like sports festivals I don’t do well in. Getting up from my seat, which was rather hard by the way because before people started turning on each other all the food was being thrown in my direction. Evil little bastards, just wait until I gas your classrooms and make it so you can’t escape. So as I got pelted in food, which by the way is such a waste, I had the push my way out of the cafeteria. It took me a lot longer than it should have. I could also tell the teachers exactly who was throwing what, but that was not a fun thought. Pushing what I had seen to the back of my head as I exited the room. I doubt anybody would have noticed my disappearance. Well I hoped they hadn’t. I saw Garner as I tried to get to my locker to get my training clothes and ducked into the classroom on my right. The last thing I needed was garner to give me a detention. Derichs let me off for something much worse than being covered in food, so why waste that little piece of freedom? Waiting for about a minute, I peeked out to see that Garner was long gone. Good. Getting to my locker I grabbed my clothes and dashed to the change rooms. Hopefully I had time to have a shower before training.

Less than ten minutes later I was standing outside the training room, with a towel rubbing my hair vigorously. Once I was happy with my results, I placed the small towel into my bag and stepped into the class room. Well my hair was dry enough that I should hopefully not get a shock if the training system short circuits. Personally I’m not too fond of Emerald’s training system as I prefer hands on experience. I understand that the system can put you in any type of situation, but nothing bets blowing stuff up on the oval or learning the sew system layout of cities. What? I walked over to my seat and sat myself down. The other Emeralds would be showing up sooner or later. I couldn’t help but wonder what state they would show up in.


OoC: His clothing is linked in his picture.

[Orgasmiic M U F F ii N S]

A sigh left my lips as I played with the bottom hem of my cardigan while still wondering what had gotten into Tristan that could get him to practically beat the s**t out of Barnaby. It made no sense to me and I was supposed to be on the same team as him! Next time we’re on a mission, I’m going to have to make sure I make it as painful as possible if he gets injured and I have to help him. Wouldn’t that be amusing? Actually, that would be cruel and I’d more than likely get in trouble for doing that. Was he even getting in trouble right now? Hopefully the teachers were doing something and he wasn’t going to get away with this, not after everything. People might be unpredictable but none of the teachers here played around and seemed to love giving out punishments. Some not fun and some just dangerous.

Barnaby’s voice made me snap out of my thoughts and I nodded my head lightly before grabbing everything I’d need to wrap it up, putting the rest away neatly and where it belonged. I was just about to start working when footsteps distracted me and I looked over, my eyes widening slightly to see a pissed off Willard. I wasn’t sure if any of her students were really involved but it seems like all the teachers were mad about the whole thing. “Mr. Monroe. You’ll need to come down to Dr. Kingston’s office immediately.” My eyes shifted to Barnaby, setting my hands on my lap as he spoke. I felt a bit bad that he couldn’t see still considering he wasn’t really looking anywhere near where Willard was but it seemed like she understood. “Yes, but make it quick Ms. Petrov. Mr. Monroe, I’m to escort you down to Dr. Kingston’s office. Someone else will be doing the same for Mr. Hillam.”

Right, back to work for me!

A quick salute in Willard’s direction with a smile, I turned back to Barnaby. “That was Willard by the way. She didn’t seem too happy either so I wonder if any of the Emerald kids got into it…” Grabbing the gauze wrap, I cut exactly what I needed and carefully worked it where I needed it on Barnaby’s nose, cutting the medical tape and making sure the layers were secure and there were enough on there. Biting my lip, I looked at my work and just stayed quiet. For any other person, I would have suggested going with the cast but with Barnaby’s asthma then I really wouldn’t have been able to no matter what. “Alright, you’re set. No sneezing and no running or anything that’s going to require you to breathe really hard through your nose…not that you’re going to anyway. Come in three days from now and I can take a look at it to see how the healing is going.”

Pushing back from the chair, I rolled it to where it belonged before going over to Barnaby and slipping my hand into his, guiding him toward the door whenever he was on his feet and steady. “Willard, you can take him now.” Nodding, I walked back into the infirmary where I grabbed more gauze and tape for Tristan in case he’d need it before I left and headed up to the dorms the back way. I was somewhat on my own mission. It took a while for me to get there (mostly thanks to having to stop and ask around to figure out where Barnaby’s room was) but once I did, it was pretty easy from there. Being a girl, hairpins are always on hand and unlocking the door wasn’t too hard. When I got into the room, I didn’t bother looking around, just grabbed the glasses and got out of there before I got caught.

I’m sure breaking into a room would land me in quite a bit of trouble.

With everything in my hands, I made my way back and realized that it was drawing close to that time that Tristan and Barnaby would probably be leaving Kingston’s office since training would begin soon enough. Sigh, I quickened my pace and made it to her office, knocking on the door before opening it and poking my head in. Kingston instantly met my glaze with a smile before waving me in. “What are you doing here Lily? I’ll be done in a minute to start training.” I nodded and walked over to Barnaby, handing him his glasses. “Just a delivery and figured I’d wrap up Tristan’s knuckles.” Her nod gave me the okay and I moved to stand next to my teammates chair, not looking at him as I took one of his hands and pulled the wrap out, working it around probably a bit tighter than needed. Once I had the first one secure, I worked on his other hand. “You’re great at what you do, a good teammate even though you don’t really open up much but you’re an a*****e outside of all that.”

Kingston clearing her throat made me straight up before I sighed and made my way out of the room, heading to where the classrooms were for the Topaz. When I got there, I sat down in a chair against the wall, leaning my head back as I stared up at the ceiling and just waited for things to go back to normal.

xxxxxxxxxx

[Purpleinator]

where; the hallway outside the sapphire housexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxwith; no onexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxfeeling; bored

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I couldn't really see. You know that kind of red haze that comes when you are so pissed off? Yah, that was what I was currently seeing right now. Someone got Barnaby off the ground and out of the cafeteria. I didn't see who, but I was grateful for that. The kid was bleeding and obviously in a lot of pain. Tristan, the b*****d, had probably been about to continue beating on him. Once Barnaby was out of there, the rest mist died a little and I could see. The girl who had punched Tristan in the face came back to punch him again, then got pulled back by Sarina. They have a little fight and then Paige comes and hauls the girl...Azure or something, away. Good thing, too. Tristan had been about to punch her, I could tell. Jeez, even I am above hitting women. This guy is really a grade-A b*****d.

By now Tristan is bending so that his arm isn't broken or worse. I growl under my breath, but before I could do anything about the older boy, I feel a sharp pain in my shin. This causes my grip to loosen slightly and Tristan twists out of it. I turn to see who had caused me to let go and see little Delilah, who now looked like she was in serious pain. Without paying her another thought, I turn back to Tristan. Fortunately,or maybe unfortunately, the food fight and the actual fight seems to have subsided. Teachers were in the cafeteria. Denver, the head of Sapphire house. He catches my eye and gives me a little glare, then goes back to Tristan. By no other teachers are coming in. I lean down and rub my shin. It hurt, but it would go away soon.

I take a couple steps forward to find a chair to sit in until this was all over. I walk a little and here a crunch beneath my feet. I lifted my foot to see Barnaby's glasses, now cracked and broken. They probably had been broken before I had stepped on them. I still feel bad though. I lean down and pick up the frames. The glass is pretty much all gone from the lenses, but the frames aren't too bad. I frown and carefully fold the glasses up, putting them in my pocket. Maybe I can give them to Barnaby later when I see him.

I look down at my shirt and see that I am covered in food. With a loo of disgust, I leave the cafeteria. Once again. ******** immature idiots. A food fight? I shake my head at their stupidity and make my way to the Sapphire house. Once inside, I got to my room and quickly take off my sweater. My t shirt is clean, as are my pants, so those are okay. I just put on a new sweater an leave the room. I wait outside the Sapphire house, leaning against the wall. I sigh, running a hand through my hair. I pick out some food with disgust.

ooc; I had him get the glasses :3 outfit in first icon, music in third.
MADE BY PURPLEINATOR


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SAPPHIRE
xxxxxxxxxxTeam Delta

[ShadowbornLynn]

WEEP FOR HERSELF, MY MAN
xxxxxxxxxYOU'LL NEVER BE WHAT IS IN YOUR H E A R T
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxWEEP LITTLE LION MAN
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxYOU'RE NOT AS BRAVE AS YOU WERE AT THE START
xxxxx「° - RATE YOURSELF AND RAKE YOURSELF, TAKE ALL THE COURAGE YOU HAVE LEFT
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WASTED ON FIXING ALL THE PROBLEMS YOU MADE IN YOUR OWN HEAD
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxBUT IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT BUT MINE
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxx「° - AND IT WAS YOUR {]HEART[} ON THE LINE



xxI REALLY [********] IT UP THIS TIME...
I take the paper towels that Leonard handed to me and started wiping my face with them. A let out a short sigh and look up in the mirror, staring at myself. I had rubbed off the makeup that took so long to put on this morning; Mama Monster taught me how to put makeup on so I could look pretty during missions and with that thought Len brought up the mission. I look over at him and nod quickly in reply. “I hope team Delta will be able to obtain said mission.” I try to smile again, this one was probably was more weird looking then the first so I gave up once again. Maybe I should ask Mama to teach me how to smile too; she has a very charming smile.

I think for a moment to change into my training clothes but then Leonard comments on leaving the restroom and my eyebrows knit together. He was probably right; people would be rushing here to clean off. People… a ton of boys. My face turns slightly redder in color and I turn around to make a dash for the door, following Leonard and made a squeaking sound, backing away when he opened it and I saw one of the professors and Tristan. A stand behind Leonard and stay silent, which isn’t that hard for me, Mama once told me that she thought I hadn’t been breathing when I was standing near her. I peek out the door for a moment to see the hall was clear, aside from people leaving the cafeteria.

“Goodbye, Leonard, have a good day.” I mumble to him and quickly rush out of the bathroom, running past him. I walk through the halls and do my best to avoid other professors and just try to get to the training room for Emeralds, I did need to change into my clothes though. I look around for a minute and sigh in relief when I see a bathroom for females this time. I step in and go into a stall to change my clothes quickly, before I was late. I stuff my other clothing into my bag then step out of the bathroom, watching all the girls enter the bathroom to clean off.

I walk through the halls, picking at the end of my training shirt to avoid looking up at people, because the fabric was far more interesting then socializing. I don’t think I actually had to worry about people trying to socialize with me, I sunk into the background, most people didn’t realize I was there. I enter the training room and see Ryunosuke waiting there, ah, top notch but bad news for me, Suki wasn’t like Leonard or Zu-Zu, I had trouble speaking with him and… looking at him.

I set my bag down in an out of the way place and try to be as far away from him as possible, without letting on that I’m trying to stay away as far as possible, I could possibly fail at doing this though. I glance at him quickly, nod my head then look back at the floor. His hair was slightly wet, which would explain why he was so clean, he must have had the chance to take a shower before getting here, I was only able to clean off a little bit, so I smelled like tomato. I did not like tomato. “Guten Tag.” Ahh, it appeared as though I was still stuck in German when I was around Suki, there were rare moments when I could speak English though.

Translation: Good day / Hello
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xxDIDN'T I MY DEAR...

[Ouji_no_Ai]

xxx xxx
xxxxxxxxxx ∂◊ς₮◊Я ﾚ∑◊и∆Я∂ ∂◊ㄚﾚ∑xxx

I felt Blake come to a halt behind me and I glanced back at her. "Oddly enough, so do I,” I replied. There was always the hope of a good mission though it was impractical to assume that they would not mess it up. Blake was not stupid and would let the teacher and his hostage walk by before darting away. I rummaged through my pocket, eyes on the hall, and pulled out my cellphone to check the time. It was almost time for class, not surprising, and so I stepped aside when Garner had made it to the staircase with Tristan in tow. My teammate took the opportunity to poke her head around the corner then wished me a good day as she scurried past. "You too,” I said before heading up to my locker amidst the starting crowd. It was amusing that Blake did not want to be glimpsed around the men's bathroom; I would not have hesitated to use the woman's bathroom if it was empty as this one had been.

With my shirt slung over my shoulder and no rush to change into any training gear, I merely went to my locker as precaution in case I had forgotten anything. Drill days with two houses in the same situations were the more active and exciting, and we had not had one of those in a while and I was not sure when the next one would be. I secretly hoped that it was with Ruby next, because although Rachel would be there, so would Alex. The guy was straighter than a needle, but the did not really help my case since I had not trained myself to not think of him as a cute, charismatic guy who might just look at me with a nice word. It was mind over matter, and the matter was winning. My mind had one once, and now he was my best friend, but I still did not know why I had these crushes on random people. Perhaps I thought they would be more trustful if I got to know them, maybe just a hope of that and my mind being. . . well, messed up. Though, notably, I was not as messed up and a few of these other Haven students.

I tapped my locker door a couple times before blinking, sighing and sauntering off in the direction of my Topaz classroom, my shirt still slung over over my shoulder. I had not ever gone back to get a quick snack from the cafeteria, though I doubt I had the time or that the staff there would be very accommodating after that fiasco. This left me wondering whether there would be a break in this class or if I would suffer through the last part with a rumbling stomach and no adrenaline rush. The adrenaline rushes usually helped a lot in the tough situations where you knew you would not be able to do more than stand, listen and breathe.

Upon getting to the classroom and pushing open the door, I saw only one of my housemates in there and no teacher. Where was Kingston? She was usually the one here before any of us, like Willard was, though that woman was paranoid to the point that it made me feel sane. Ah Willard. . . I'm glad she has only caught me out of my dorm room only a couple of times, though the near misses counted as some as well in my books. Liliya was there, sitting back against the wall in a chair, the dummies off to one side and the ceiling being particularly fascinating to her for some reason. I walked over, grabbing up and chair and dropping down into it after putting it down beside her, then I stared. It was not like I was staring to be creepy, but staring because she looked like she was deep in thought and I did not want to disturb her.

After a while she noticed me, and then when I caught her blue, blue eyes, I spoke up. "There was a food fight in the caf.” Not the most intelligent thing to say but after seeing her for almost everyday of my life, outside of the missions I went on with my team, there was not much to say other than the most random of things that popped into one's head. I had to admit I probably could have said something better, but I was a bit sad that I did not join in when I had the chance. Once again, I was stuck blaming my inability to start most conflicts when I had lost the battles before hand. I really had to teach myself to dive in! Liliya did not look as if she had gotten ruffled in the fray, so she probably had not been in the middle of the food fight at all. "You did hear about it, right?”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxx tєαríng dσwn αnd pαtchíng up
xxx xxx

[dominus temporis]

I'm really glad that she let Lily fix my nose, because I know that once the medicine wears off it will still hurt like hell, and having her wrap it up would definitely help. So, it was Willard. I am glad that Lily told me. That way when I'm escorted to Dr. Kingston's office I'll know who is taking me there. It's a little bit disconcerting, not being able to see who or what is around me. As if I hadn't been helpless enough before my glasses came off. I stay as still as I can while Lily is wrapping up my nose. The gauze is a bit uncomfortable at first, but it needs to be if I want my nose to heal. There are a couple times when even the painkillers can't mask the pain but I bite my tongue and bear it. It doesn't take Lily too long to finish up, she really is the best. I listen to her instructions. I wasn't planning on doing any of the things that she told me not to do, so I think I should be safe...as long as Tristan doesn't go off on me again, which was an entirely possible occurrence. "Thank you, Lily. Really..." I'm really bad at things like this. "Tristan probably would have killed me if you hadn't come in..." I hope that's a good enough thank you because I don't really know what else to say.

Before I can try and think of more to say to Lily, Willard takes me and drags me out the door. She's not wasting any time. I'm not being escorted, I'm being dragged. It's just as well though because I can't see a freaking thing. Well, I can see blurred blobs which I can vaguely make out to be people or inanimate objects. After a few minutes she stops dragging me and pushes me forwards as though I'm supposed to know where to go from there. "Right through the door, Mr. Monroe." I turn behind me to where I think Willard is. "Uh...I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I don't know where the door is. I still can't see much of anything..." I mutter. But apparently she heard me because she walks around me and opens the door, pushing me through it. I know that I'm in Kingston's office because the next person who speaks is her. "Barnaby, nice to see you. Please, take a seat." I know that there's a chair to my right, and there doesn't appear to be anyone sitting in it, so I take it. I can see that Tristan is in the couch to my left, and Kingston is across from us. At least, I assume that it's the two of them. I'm rather nervous, being in the same room as Tristan again. I'm afraid that he'll get angry and just start hitting me again.

"Barnaby, Tristan. I assume that the two of you know why you're here?" I glance at the blur that I assume is Tristan. I turn back to Kingston and give a small nod. "Would either of you like to tell me what happened today in the cafeteria?" Silence. "Barnaby?" Wonderful. I have to be really careful here. I take a breath and speak, quietly.

"I was eating lunch and I got up to throw out my garbage and I ran into Tristan. It was my fault, I should have been watching where I was going. I spilled his water on him. It was an accident." Silence again, I hate that, especially since I'm already one sense short.

"But that's not everything, now is it? What happened next?" I don't want to say what happened next, not with Tristan right there. Why can't she have him tell her? A knock comes at the door and I'm saved for the moment. "What are you doing here, Lily? I'll be done in a minute to start training." Once again Lily swoops in to save my a**. I really need to thank her properly later. I thank her quietly when she hands me my glasses. I'm not too sure I want to put them on though. They do, after all, have to rest on my nose...which is broken. It might hurt quite a bit. Soon, Lily is gone and Kingston is staring at me again. I can feel her eyes on me. I place my glasses on my face and I can see that I was right. I glance at Tristan next to me, and a new fear manifests itself in my gut. Being able to see him there is different than just thinking that he's there. "Then, perhaps Tristan could tell us what happened next." She shifts her gaze over to him and I take a breath, I'm relieved. I look down and then realize that I haven't changed my shirt. It's still covered in blood...oh, god. I can feel myself fainting. And everything goes black. Stupid hemophobia.

[[ outfit in middle icon below ]]

[Semi Aquatic Mammal]

dallas - #FF003F others - #002E63
Delilah didn't seem to be particularly pleased to be in my care, she had a look of defiance deep set in her eyes, although I speculated that was probably from being trampled on by the other kids. She voiced a minor protest, proclaiming, "It's fine." I raised an eyebrow at her, as she winced in pain again. I made my way to the back of the cafeteria, where the flying food had yet to touch some of the lone tables. I put her down, and said, "Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll be done in a second." I pulled the boot off the foot I had seen her clutching, and handed her the boot. It was covered in food. I rolled down her sock, and frowned already. There were multiple bruises already beginning to appear on the top of her foot. I reached into my pocket, and found the sturdy medical tape that I had stuffed in there earlier. It never hurt to be prepared. With a few, quick motions, I wrapped the bandage around her foot, and then put on a metal clasp to hold it in place. I finished, and then handed Delilah her sock, and said, "All done. You rolled it pretty badly, and there's some bruising on the bone, but you'll be fine in a couple days." I offered her a friendly smile, as some spaghetti splattered the back of my neck. God, food fights really were the worst.

A few moments passed, and I turned back to observe the on-goings surrounding the shitbag that was Tristan. Garner had appeared, and his commanding voice slowed, and then stopped the chaos that had overtaken the cafeteria. Tristan was marched off, to be punished. The notion of him missing a mission entertained me, quite a bit. The food had finally stopped flying, and other teachers started setting the food-throwers to work, cleaning up the giant mess. I raised an eyebrow, and then turned back to Delilah, who still had her boot and sock in hand.

I said to her, "I'm gonna get out of here and head to class before they make me clean up this shitstorm. Might wanna do the same." I winked at my friend, and then pushed through the doors of the cafeteria. I headed down the hallway, to get to my dorm and change into some clean clothes before training. It would be no fun to sit in class for three hours covered in salty, sticky, and dried food. A few minutes passed, as I changed into a new set of pants, and a v-neck. I splashed some water on my face, and scraped what I could from my hair and the back of my neck. It was another ten minutes before I made my way into the Topaz classrooms. I entered one, and smiled a little when I saw Lily. I took a seat next to her, and said, "Hey Lily." I rubbed my forehead a little, a headache forming, and then said, "Lunch was a mess."

[ooc;; outfit in image]

[fire beats roses]

xx● hello world, { I hope you're listening
FADEDPAINTINGSFORGIVE ME IF I'M YOUNG FOR SPEAKING OUT OF TURN
x♔there's someone I've ♥!been x missing
xxxxxxx▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬i think that they could be
xxx↷I THINK THAT THEY COULD BE
trendiiefadedxxxthe better half of me they're in the wrong place trying to make it right
xx ▼❷_____! but I'm tired of justifying
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxI GET LOST IN THE BEAUTY
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxOF EVERYTHING I SEE
xxx ░xx░xx░xx░xx░xx░xx░xx░xx░xx░xx
xxxThe world ain't half as bad as they paint it to bexxxHopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin
xxxxW E L Lxx M A Y B E xxI ' M xxJ U S Txx D R E A M I N G xx O U T xxL O U D

Well that wasn't very fun, was it? I pouted as Dallas had to carry me like a little kid. I hate being treated like a child. I can damn well walk on my own. But before I could protest, he had already put me on the table and attended to my foot. I had the urge to kick his nose, but since he was helping me, I thought that would be ungrateful. Okay, honestly, my foot was killing me. But the people around here are already thinking I just bought my way in my team. I don't want to add more fuel to the fire, and I didn't want Dallas to, either. I didn't want to look like a pathetic weakling who gets carried by some big guy just because she got her foot stepped on a couple of times. Everyone here has had worse injuries in the past. I grudgingly took the socks and shoe from Dallas, wincing. "No big deal, honest." I said, but then yelped as he touched it again. I mentally noted that if Lily had done it, I wouldn't have felt anything. Thinking that made me glad that Dallas wasn't in Onyx.

He was a nice guy, but I know his passion is something that wasn't part of this world. And he didn't have a choice, I guess he just doesn't like the stress of being a spy. Sometimes, I wonder if he's the smartest person in this school. When he was done, I smiled sheepishly at him. "Thanks, Dally." I said as I put my shoe back on. I turned back as Garner began yelling at people and at Tristan. Stupid idiot, sometimes even I didn't understand why he was always so angry. And I'm a very understanding person, so that's saying a lot. When Garner began telling people to clean up, my jaw dropped.

I'm sorry, but I'm not cleaning s**t up. I've got a maid to put my old files in the recycle bin on my laptop, for god's sake! I slid off the table and tried to balance myself on my newly-bandaged foot. "Oh, yeah. Let's go." I said to him. Well, there was still a few more minutes to class. So I ran back to my room to change into a new outfit. I even managed to dry my hair with a towel and went down back to the training room. Since most of our training happen with virtual reality, I wasn't worried about dressing wrong. Besides, I like my dress. And I will not take any s**t about wearing heels when I just got an injury because a.) they're wedges and b.) I. Can. Manage dammit. When I arrived, the first person I saw was Suki.

Really? Suki? Why God, why?! I looked at him, debating whether I should be nice or be mean. But I will not stoop down to his level. I'll be so sweet, that it'd annoy him even more. "Hey, Suki. I'm so sorry about throwing food at you earlier. I got caught in the moment. Anyway, good luck with training later. I really do hope that this time, you beat my score." Okay, so I may have put too much bitter emphasis on the last three words but it was true: He may be older, he can gloat about me not deserving to be in Alpha all he wants, he still has only beaten my score twice. I saw Blake being awkward and invisible in the back of the classroom again and I approached her, skipping just to annoy Suki even more.

I really do hope she doesn't talk to me in German, I've never really learned the language and I never want to. "Hello, Blake." I said, approaching her and then stopping myself. She smelled of tomato and mayonnaise.

I hated mayonnaise, it's white and lumpy. I sat down on a seat next to her, and just in time as Willard came in the classroom, of course, fuming. "What is wrong with all of you?! Where is Mathias?!" she snapped, "It's Matheus, ma'am." I corrected her, "What's that?! What are you wearing?! You never wear a dress. Never! You kids, you think showing your 'individuality' is the most important thing in the world. You never realize that if you wear those stupid pink clothes that the enemy will find you easier, and that you can't move in them. What did I say? Always be prepared!..." I looked down as she criticized my clothes.

Suki must be loving this. I kind of stopped listening to Willard because I know it's all paranoid talk from her, and a bit of yelling at us about something we didn't even start. Admittedly, I kind of indirectly did start the food fight. But Willard doesn't know that, now does she? I'll just let her yell as I looked around at anywhere but Willard's face.


I was sitting there, wreaking of different kids of sauces and there Kingston was, just...staring at me. Writing now and then at that annoying therapist's pad of hers. Okay, I know how the deal goes here. I have to choose my words properly or I'd never be able to get to another mission in at least six months. I looked down at my hands, or around the room, as the silence in the room positively buzzed in my ears.

Getting impatient, my knees started bouncing and Kingston immediately began writing again, and I forced myself to stop. What, I can't be bored now, too? What the ******** did she want me to do?! Just then, the door opened and I managed to hide the amusement on my face as Barnaby came in, all bloody. What a pathetic loser, he can't even walk properly. When he was sat down, I did most of the grunting and the not-talking part. I was giving Barnaby a "say-anything-that-can-ruin-my-chances-of-getting-on-a-mission-and-you-will-die" look, but apparently he wasn't feeling it. Stupid git, running his mouth.

I mostly rolled my eyes while he talked, until the door opened and Lily came in. I just stared at her as she handed Barnaby his glasses and began tending to my knuckles. You know, I'd always thought that my team will always be behind my back, regardless of how bad I act. But they're all too moral to stay loyal, now. I smirked as Lily said something about me being an a*****e. I've heard that a lot of times, was that the best she could do? Oh, she tightened the gauge. Being a little rough there, I see?

I didn't care. She went out, maybe I checked her a** out on the way. Hey, she had a nice a**. I couldn't deny that. But then Kingston addressed me. i didn't know what she asked exactly, all I heard was my name. I tried, though. "I pushed him. I got annoyed and I pushed him. And then some idiot yelled 'food fight' and next thing I knew I got trampled. I was trying to get away from the crowd but his face got in the way of my fist." I smirked. Oh, now I wish Barnaby wasn't stupid enough to say otherwise.

But he didn't say anything at all, the next thing I knew, the guy was passing out and dropping his head in my lap. "What the hell?!" I yelped as I stood up from the couch and his head rested on the arm rest. I looked down at his pitiful, and now unconscious, body, and then I turned back to Kingston as she got up from her place and checked on Barnaby, stating the obvious as she did. "He's passed out. His body couldn't have handled the stress. We'll talk later, Tristan. For now, please take him to the infirmary." I looked at her with my mouth hanging open, "Seriously?!" but the look she gave me made me slump and pick his body up and Kingston opened the door for me, "Gently, Tristan, gently." she said. I made a face as she closed the door and I stomped towards the infirmary and let the nurse take care of his body from then.

ooc; Actually, Delilah was wearing slip-ons but...Okay...& ay for new lay-out!

[Realitys Illusion]

Shizuka Xing Mizuno
Ϯħε Sapphire Gamma

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It was morning. Or maybe afternoon. And this girl was laying on my bed. Though…. She seemed to be in pain. Sweat rolled down her taut muscles and progressed down to her lower back. She shivered and rolled over. Just what was this foreign thing doing? Laying on HER bed? Shizuka traveled into the body and could see the images and feel the feelings of the girl… I felt like I was dying. Was this really how death felt like? The despair, the darkness that surrounded people,….. and the eyes. What was that cheesy quote? That the eyes were the windows into people’s souls? Yeah…Maybe it was true. You could see the insanity in their eyes, and how they didn’t want to die. The dark holes that took place for eyes and the will to live beating wildly yet slowly diminishing. My muscles convulsed again as my body shook from fear. I clenched my head as it throbbed in pain. I wouldn’t be able to stand it anymore. Their insanity would drive me mad too. Then again, I might’ve already been mad, after what – And then the girl jolted upward and awoke from her dream. ….. Just WHO was she? It was me. It was another one of those nightmares. It always ended up like that. I can no longer remember this incident from the past, but these…..dreams, just keep haunting me and shredding my soul into pieces. Somewhere… inside, not my heart, but between my top ribs, there was something there…….. Something that felt like a ball of unease. Of pain. Of death. I could visually see a girl with her head thrown back and her tongue hanging out from the side, with craze-driven eyes. Was that how I’d become? I don’t want that….. I DON’T WANT THAT!

I cornered myself. I shivered and cowered to the fear that I received everytime I thought about this. I hugged my knees tightly against me and clutched my shoulders, trying to shake off this fear. But it wouldn’t go away. I felt wave after wave of fear and tried to stop my muscles, or fat, from tightening. I was hunched over like a ball and was in the corner of my bed. After what seemed like eternity, the spasms finally stopped. And the ball finally went away. This was not how I had expected my morning to be. I tried to get out of bed, but even forcing myself to let go of my body parts was hard. I had been clinging on to myself too hard and my body protested to the change in posture. I tried to step off the bed, but my calves couldn’t find the will to support the rest of the dead weight because of all the strain it had been through earlier. I collapsed on the floor next to my bed as I let the cold wood seep into my skin. I looked around, and thankfully, no one was around. If what’s her name was around… I’d end up having to make up some lie about what had happened. Ah~, yes, Trinity. I don’t really like lying to people, but I don’t want people to go around asking me what I had experienced when I was little; if they’d care at all… then again, I think they would. Knowing this school….they definitely would. Some little rumor would spread and it’d end up all over. Not that I mind having people stare… it wouldn’t be much different from any other day.

I tried to stand up as a placed a hand on the floor. I pushed myself up slowly, but I could feel the tremors in my arms. I could do this. It was only a nightmare. That was it. There was nothing to think about. I told the girl to breathe in and breathe out. And to breathe in….and breathe out again. Slowly, the girl started to calm down. But she didn’t cease to wrap one arm around another. At last I was able to become totally calm. I wobbled to the shower and then let the water wash away the remains of the dream. Of that horrid nightmare that would never be visited again. I was completely oblivious to whatever was going on in the cafeteria at this point, but then again, it wouldn’t have mattered much. I wouldn’t have headed to the café until I thought that Blake would be there, which…today, I had a good feeling she was. Who was Blake? My baby duck. Yes, that’s her. She follows me around like a duck when they’ve seen their momma. It’s pretty fun actually, but I can never let her see this side of me. No one can every find out. Not even Len. That ditching son of a …. This man had forgotten my existance. Everything. Anything. He couldn’t remember a single thing. It was like my past was not important to him at all. But to me, he had been my saviour. The feeling of betrayel was a bitter one. I cannot even begin to describe the hatred that formed in my heart when I found out he had forgotten me. It was like I was a new person; one of hate and vengence. My heart became something that squeezed and released, and that was it. And my soul was just…..a blank sheet. At first, I couldn’t believe he had forgotten about me……and now? Ha, I think I’ve gotten bitter. It’s only been a few months since I’ve turned this way, and the funny thing is,….. that now that I don’t see him often, I feel like I’ve grown to be indifferent to him. Maybe it’s because of Blake, and the people I now have around me… or maybe it’s due to the fact that I don’t need him anymore. Whichever it is…. As long as I don’t see him, I’m good. And hopefully I don’t. Otherwise I don’t know what terrible memories will occur because of that. And I don’t want to know either…

After I finished showering, I put on a pair of jeans and found a blue tank top thing, whatever you want to call it. Maybe not a tanktop a camisole? Sure… that worked too. I put on a necklace that had two rings that interlocked and was ready to head out. Oh wait, I forgot about the shoes. Meh… Scavanging around for shoes was not my thing. I paced around the room slowly, so I wouldn’t fall at any point and found a pair of flipflops. Why not. I wore those out and walked to the cafeteria. Blake would definitely cheer me up. Abusing my little duck always would. Though…by the time I got to the cafeteria… People were cleaning up food. Just what in the world did I miss while I was having my beauty sleep? I looked around and didn’t see Blake, and so that meant that it was time to go to class. Even though I didn’t eat, I wasn’t that hungry, not after that ….. I didn’t have much of an apetite. It wasn’t worth staying in the cafeteria and wasting another minute here if Blake wasn’t here also. I traveled quickly to the emerald training room. She couldn’t have gone far. I’ve almost gotten to depend on her like she has with me. It’s like a feeling of family …. The one I never had. Maybe I still crave it, since they deprived me of it. I can’t really say, because I clung to Len like this when I was younger too. I try to change my thinking and think of the old days as good memories, but they end up bringing hate along with them; so now, I just stop trying. It’ll happen some other day.

I turned into the emerald training room and peeked in. Oh heyyyyy, look who I found. I immediately went over to Blake and hugged her from behind. After I was done molesting her for the morning, I looked up and saw Suki. “Good morning Blake and Suki. You guys are up early. What did I miss?” I asked as I stiffled a yawn and stretched. Me and Suki were the same height, and Blake was slightly taller. Though with all the slouching and hiding she did, she almost seemed a lot smaller than the two of them. Oh right, Suki was her respectable teammate; his skills are impressive and his personality’s not that bad, and so i end up being pretty buddy buddy with him. Err… to phrase it that way is bad. Maybe to say that I’m nice is better. Then again, I’m nice to everyone… at least I try to be, until something goes wrong, or I just don’t like them. I feel so artificial when I say it this way, but it’s not a crime to be nice most of the time….. is it?

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OOC.// sorry D; i took longer to post because i was fixing the format >w< + i think the format works on mozilla but not on chrome nor internet <w<

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[Orgasmiic M U F F ii N S]

My mind had a tendency to wander when I’m stressed out or unsure about something. As to which I’m feeling right now, I’m not quite sure. There isn’t anything for me to be stressed about. Barnaby is all done up and cleaned besides his clothes, Tristan is hopefully getting his a** handed to him, and everything else has been pretty calm since then. And it’s not like I’m questioning anything. Yet, my mind is still wandering, that urge to go off somewhere collecting and making it hard for me to focus. Paris is lovely at this time of year and so is Italy. Even going to New York City would be something to jump at. Don’t get me wrong, I love and adore Haven like it’s my home, which it mostly is other than my home in Russia, but sometimes you just want to fly away. To go somewhere. What I needed was to go on a mission. Tristan probably screwed that up now though so thanks a lot to him. Alright, time to get my thoughts back together and in one place before it’s too late. I didn’t need someone to walk in and then start questioning my sanity if it looked like I was insane. Randomly staring up at the ceiling with a dazed expression and practically unmoving? Yep, that’s not good.

I suddenly became very aware of eyes on me and I wasn’t quite sure how long the person had been staring at me. Thankfully when I looked down, it wasn’t anyone I hated. Leonard is one of those that I could get along with pretty well. His words brought a smile to my lips and I laughed rather loudly, not able to stop myself from doing so. If I came off rude, I really didn’t mean it but I couldn’t help it. Oh goodness, did I hear about it? Of course, I was the one who saved poor little Barnaby while the other were trying to get Tristan to stop. “I think you were the one who’s a bit late, Leo. I was right there when Tristan started beating up Barnaby and I had to get in there and get him away. Barnaby is all fixed up now though. So yes, I do know about all that though I got out of there right in the beginning of the food fight.” I smiled lightly at him, wondering if he had even been aware that Barnaby had gotten hurt and that Tristan had been at fault. There had been some people that hadn’t been in the cafeteria and I don’t recall seeing Leonard in there at all. “Probably a good thing I wasn’t in there most of the food fight. If someone would have gotten something in my hair, I would have been pretty pissed off.” I laughed, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

Footsteps coming into the room took my attention right away and I smiled widely to see Dallas. I’d been talking with him during lunch but when everything went down, I’d lost sight of him. I looked him over when he sat at my other side, seeing that he was pretty much clean so he must have clean off since the last look I’d gotten at him was one full of food. “Hey Dally! Pretty sure everyone can agree with you on that. I was just talking to Leo about that.” I’m pretty sure that whoever is left in the cafeteria is going to be pretty pissed off. It’ll more than likely be their job to clean the whole place up and of course there are going to be people who’ll try to escape that. I think it’s nearly impossible to actually get away with anything here. I leaned back and stretched my tired arms up, the muscles still sore from the swimming I did this morning. Kingston picked that moment to come into the classroom and I looked around to find Suri but she didn’t seem to be coming through the doors. “Well, Suri might end up being late…” I told the other before shrugging lightly. I could have sworn I’d seen her coming earlier when I’d been coming in but I could have been wrong. I walked over to where Kingston was and waited for her to explain what today’s training lesson was going to be.

-- time skip-o-roo --

Training had been just what I thought it was, boring and somewhat of a waste. Maybe not for the others, I wouldn’t be sure but for me it had turned out to be so. For now, I was busying myself by putting away everything and cleaning down my area. It was always important to clean up and I think that’s something Kingston is always stressing. Of course, out in the field you probably won’t find a place that’s a hundred percent sterile but it’s always important to find an area that’s somewhat clean. After everything was away, I hopped up on one of the beds and just sat there, watching the other’s until Kingston dismissed us. When she did, I practically ran out of the classroom, happy to be out of there and free. Being a bit childish, I spun around in a circle once I was in the hallway and nearly ran into Dallas, catching myself on him before I sent both of us down. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” I laughed out, shaking my head lightly and as moved back and pushed my blond hair out from my face. Just as I was about to start walking up toward the common room for Topaz, I stopped and turned to Dallas. “Hey Dally, wanna go out to the garden? I can show you something amazing that I saw the other day!”

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[ShadowbornLynn]

WEEP FOR HERSELF, MY MAN
xxxxxxxxxYOU'LL NEVER BE WHAT IS IN YOUR H E A R T
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xxxxx「° - RATE YOURSELF AND RAKE YOURSELF, TAKE ALL THE COURAGE YOU HAVE LEFT
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WASTED ON FIXING ALL THE PROBLEMS YOU MADE IN YOUR OWN HEAD
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xxxxx「° - AND IT WAS YOUR {]HEART[} ON THE LINE



xxI REALLY [********] IT UP THIS TIME...
It seemed as though almost everyone in my House I was pretty scared to speak near, and when I could manage something it was in German. I stared at the floor as Suki and I stood in the Emerald training room, waiting for our teacher and other housemates. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and started dragging my teeth across my bottom lip, another habit of mine I did when I was nervous. I gently tapped my foot on the ground, staring up at the ceiling while waiting for other people to arrive. Whenever I was around someone I was scared to speak with, alone, every second seemed so painful. Suki must have been fine, he probably didn’t even notice how uncomfortable I was, and he was probably just bored.

I tilt my head to the side and stare at everything around the room, it was rather plain actually but I suppose it was like that because our training was a virtual reality, as our teacher said and we didn’t need anything to get in our way while we’re training, I wasn’t quite sure how good virtual training was though, it’s not like it gave us the real deal of handling situations, then again it gave us the idea what we’re supposed to do. I pull at the end of my training shirt until a hear someone enter the training room and wrap their arms around me, I didn’t know anyone else who would do that besides my Mama Monster. “Shizu…” My comfort level goes up by ten and I feel more relaxed just by her presence. Sometimes she tricked me into going to parties and what not to try and make me socialize but no matter where we were I felt better when she was beside me. I suppose that’s what a best friend is.

I slowly creep behind her to hide from Suki as she made small talk with him. I stare at the clock on the wall, counting down until Shizu had to leave before our teacher got here and yelled at her. As she announced that she would be leaving right then give her a hug, a little less awkward then normal for me, just because it was Mama Monster and then let her go so she can get to her training.

I wave goodbye while she leaves the classroom, everything going back to how awkward it was before but this time I felt a little bit better. I hadn’t seen her all day so I didn’t feel tat well but when I see Shizuka then I tend to be a little less… oh, what did Rachel call me that one time… oh yes, freaky.

I look over and see Delilah enter the room. The small girl looked like a rabbit to me, maybe it didn’t help that she was always nice and I towered over her? It didn’t help that I was most often taller then a lot of people but I imagine it wasn’t easy being so small. I froze when she looked over at me and said hello. “I… ah…” My hand rises without me being completely aware and I manage a wave to her then she sits and our teacher enters the class room, being as angry as always and yelling at us.

[SKIP ZEE TRAINING]

I walk out of our class, sighing and rubbing my forehead in exhaustion. Most people thought that Emeralds training wasn’t very tough but with a teacher like ours it could be rather difficult. She of course found out about my missing class and I got a good talking to, or maybe, a good yelling at but the good thing about re-learning emotions was that sometimes when I wasn’t sure how to handle someone scary I sort of just blanked out, so it didn’t bother me too much. I still felt rather guilty about missing my lessons but I would make up for them.

I walk around the school until I see Niko nearby and stop walking; I stare at him with a blank face while in my mind I ponder on speaking with him. Nikolai was my teammate , and I wouldn’t lie and say he was the nicest person, he had yelled at me before when I happened to mess up but I knew he had could reason to, it was my fault for messing up our test missions after all. I could have gone back to our dorms and taken a shower but instead I decided on trying to have a chat with my teammate. “Nikolai,” I wave while walking to him, my eyebrows knitting together at seeing the annoyed look on his face whilst he ran a hand through his hair. “Are you okay?” I say, hoping he can understand what I said, most people struggled to.

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xxDIDN'T I MY DEAR...