CAN YOU LOSE EVERYTHING, YOU EVER HAD PLANNED? CAN YOU SIT DOWN AGAIN, AND PLAY ANOTHER HAND?
COULD YOU RISK EVERYTHING FOR THE CHANCE OF BEING ALONE? UNDER PRESSURE FIND THE GRACE, OR WOULD YOU COME UNDONE?
THAT'S HOW LEGENDS ARE MADE AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT THEY. WE SAY GOODBYE, BUT NEVER LET GO
WE LIVE, WE DIE, 'CAUSE YOU CAN'T SAVE EVERY SOUL. GOTTA TAKE EVERY CHANCE TO, SHOW THAT YOU'RE THE KINDA MAN WHO
WILL NEVER LOOK BACK, NEVER LOOK DOWN AND NEVER LET GO
"Yeah, don't mention it." Kyle mumbled almost inaudibly whilst playing with his phone, lately he had been quite attached to it and would not let anyone see it and `I know texted him, then they would know that something was up. And would figure out where he went on Monday and Wednesday nights. And about his past. And everything would just go down in flames. And then he would die, a lonely, pitiful death. The end. Instinctively, he loosely returned Roary's hug, not really paying much mind to his surroundings. How could he? His mind was totally somewhere else, the only time where he was even mildly comfortable and his mind was at ease was while he was playing sports or some other physical activity (no, not that kind, Kyle was a pathetic loser, as exhibited at Derrick's party, no one wanted him); hence, why he had spending more and more time on the basketball court, shooting hoops by himself, at gym, in the pool, or going for a run. Anything physical activity to get his mind off what was going on at the moment. He just wanted to get out of the house. Playing sports is where he found a strange solace. Leaving the world of reality and entity behind, where he was in his own mind, and he finally force his insides to remain shut for a while instead of being a live wire. That surreal place was one that he was far more familiar with, comforting, and hell of a lot more eager to accept than the one he was living in right now. To some it might have seemed a little odd, but all he had faced was failures in the world of socializing. He was no Derrick Boone and obviously couldn't compete with a guy as charismatic and born for the limelight like he was. No wonder Taylor bailed on him for the drunken birthday boy and a threesome. Kyle just wasn't cool enough and that fact seemed to keep creeping up on him and haunting him to the point where he felt completely useless and he felt. . .alone. It was a scary feeling, one of abandonment, one that he had never been truly acquainted with until recently, and he didn't like it one bit.
Goddamn it, I'm so ******** spineless. Why am I irritated that I go cockblocked? The old Kyle would have just shrugged it off. Maybe it's for better? Or maybe the universe is against me? Nah, I'm probably repaying for my sins, recompense is the path to salvation. I need to be a better person and stop being so ******** selfish. However, before Kyle could go on his self - loathing rant of how selfish and what a douche bag he was and that he deserved the bad treatment, Roary ripped him away from his thoughts. It was a welcome change. Forcing a smile on his face, trying to be polite and not act fake. He was thankful for having Roary, but he couldn't talk to her about this. He couldn't even talk to the countless therapists or even his parents about it. The simple fact that he did have someone that had his back (for now, at least, he was almost a hundred person sure that she would leave him like seemingly everyone else had), was a nice feeling and made his day a little brighter. Contrary to popular opinion, Kyle genuinely enjoyed Roary's company, despite it not being that of the physical nature, which he was fine with. He was just sick of the loneliness coiled in the pit of his stomach, eating away at him with the godawful silence that overtook the room whenever he was alone.
He was scared that people would up and leave or forget about him. It seemed like a recurring theme now - a - days. While he was not about to relapse or go as crazy as someone like Matt, Kyle felt as though the people that he had started caring about weren't there anymore, and the absence of their presence was definitely felt. Unlike Matt, Kyle didn't blame other people, they had lives, they were changing, and clearly didn't want to change with Kyle. It was a simple fact of life. People got bored with him. Cory now had Theo, so Kyle was unneeded and seemingly left out in the dust, Kyle honestly didn't have a problem with it. In fact, he helped sway her decision about her boyfriend, naturally Kyle wanted to see his best friend happy, Theo made her happy, but he also made her pissed off and sad, a look that he couldn't bear see on his friend's face; however, the good outweighed the bad, he liked them together. Besides, before whenever Cory ditched him to go hang with Theo, Kyle could always go hang with his football friends because they were a family, when you spend most of your time with a group of guys, playing a sport that you all love, you got to know each other and see a different side of people that they normally masked from the world. For instance, on the football field, Kyle was clear - headed and confident, one of the leaders on the team that people looked up to, being one of the offensive co - captains, but that was all left on the gridiron and he couldn't replicate that persona off the field for the life of him. And it seemed like they were getting bored of him or just never cared at all in the first place. While he was a little irritated that Derrick would cockblock him, while having the knowledge that Kyle wasn't exactly the most sociable guy, he didn't hold it against him. It was his birthday and he was drunk he just wished. . .wished that he at least said sorry or seemed to demonstrate a little remorse for cockblocking his friend who had trouble 'getting some,' or even stopped the incessant bragging about having a threesome in front of him.
Oh well. Life goes on. Glancing over at Roary, who seemed a little out of it and for a fleeting moment, she looked sort of sick, but that was quickly washed away and replaced with her normal demeanor. Glancing down at his phone at the latest `I know message, he immediately felt uncomfortable and nervous. "Y- yeah, w-why don't we, u-uh, g-go to the mall. . .or, uh, something. . .W-we don't have to if you d-d-don't want to, or if you're, uh, s-sick." So much for being comfortable around someone, the only person that he had broken down his walls for was Cory, the only person that he could talk to without feeling like he was being constantly scrutinized, aside from her normal judgmental attitude towards football players, but that was one of the things he loved about her, she didn't care about his stature in the local school hierarchy, she accepted him for himself. Where as with literally everyone else, there was always an uneasy, lingering feeling that he was doing something horribly incorrect and he would get reprimanded for his actions. With Cory, he didn't have to try. And he liked that. A lot. Glancing back at Roary once she commented on his state of being. Do I look like I'm not okay? Holy s**t, what if she knows something is up? What if it is her? ******** ******** ********. s**t. ******** my life. What if she finds out and tells everyone? Then what happens? A simple nod was all she received, not really trusting his voice at the moment. "Yeah, let's go. You're driving."
RIDERIDERIDERIDE.
The ride there was relatively relaxing, not much talking, thank God for the radio. He wasn't in the mood for talking, he had way too much on his find, about someone jerk finding about his secret and then telling the entire school, which would most likely get him kicked off the various athletic teams he had participated in and was looking forward to his senior year. Sports was literally the only thing he had, it was the essence of his nature, the only thing he was good at. As mentioned before, he wasn't Derrick, he couldn't use his charm or good looks, primarily due to the fact that he had neither of those, nor was he all that intelligent. Sure, he wasn't as stupid as Theo, but he wasn't nearly anywhere near the likes of Cory, Tyler, or Taylor, he was average in that department. Just the thought of the thing that he loved the most being ripped away from him, made his skin crawl, that was something he couldn't handle with now. As long as he followed `I know's instructions, then Kyle would be safe. Hopefully he wouldn't tell Kyle to do anything too ridiculous that would force him to jeopardize his position anyways. For now, he didn't want to think of that. All he wanted was to calm the ******** down, relax, and start acting like a normal human being. "So, what do you want to do? I'm up for anything?" He inquired feigning interest, as his eyes absentmindedly scanned the premises.
His eyes finally settled on the visual of a bunch of guys on the team. . .fighting? [********. What the ********] He grumbled quietly to himself, a confused expression overtook his features as he was staring wide - eyed at the guys fighting. First it was just Matt and Tyler, then Theo came running through, and taking a cheap shot at Chili, which seemed to rile up Derrick, who had decided to join in, along with John who was just looking at an excuse to get a few good shots at the wide receiver. "s**t, sorry, Roary. I think these ******** are praying on a Saint." He said, falling back into his on the field persona, where he spoke with confidence and held his head high, despite the adversity he had to face. 'Praying on a Saint' used to be one of his catch phrases whenever the team was down, since his nickname was the Saint, due to the fact that he was essentially a 'gift from God' for the football team, at his old school. Now the nickname was dying down, but occasionally a few people referred to him as it because he was a nice guy. Admittedly, whenever he heard his old nickname, he was filled was a copious amount of unnecessary pride, to know that he meant something and wasn't just a useless piece of s**t. "I'm gonna go break it up, or try to anyways. I'll be back." Urgency was evident in his tone and echoed by his demeanor as he lightly jogged passed Riley and Cory, who's pleas were drowned out. Forcefully gripping Matt's shoulders and basically throwing him towards one of the empty booths. "You. Stay. Don't you dare move." He commanded in an authoritative tone, hopefully the idiot would listen, or at least get frustrated that wasn't getting anywhere in the fight, as Kyle seemed to momentarily force him to stop. John and Derrick were going at it, as Derrick was about to punch John, Kyle grabbed his arm with both hands, before releasing one of them and forcing himself between the two to create space by pushing them away. "Settle the ******** down. Alright? Do this somewhere else, not a public place, do you dipshits want to get arrested?" He spoke up in a perturbed tone, successfully, stopping the fight between Derrick, Matt, and John momentarily. "s**t." Kyle groaned while looking towards Tyler and Theo, coming up behind Tyler and restraining his arms while pulling him back. "Dude, dude, easy. Calm down. It's me. Cool it." However, Theo seemed to take this as Kyle being on his side and decided to charge against Tyler. Kyle let go and rushed in front of Tyler, putting his hands up and successfully blocking one punch to the face, however it hurt his hand like a ******** and Theo's jab was followed by an elbow that hit Kyle in the mouth. Wincing a little, keeping his eyes narrowed, masking the amount of pain he was actually in. "Nice hit, dude." He said while feeling like he just bit on a car door due to the iron infiltrating his mouth. "No worries, I'm good," He said to Chili, extending his arm out to stop the tight end from advancing and killing Theo for hitting one of his best friends. "You guys have some serious s**t to talk about. Come on, we're all on the same team here, we shouldn't have all this bad blood between us. Why can't we all just get along?"
Wishful thinking.
ooc; John post to start the fight back up! Then Kyle, and Derrick/Tyler