Shattered ((open//full))

[LadyLiliT]

ll J a c q u e l i n e xx H e l e n a xx M o r t ll

so I'll waste these nights for a while
but I'll be holding onto you forever.

Finally, Elena wasn't shaking, and her sniffling was soft and coming further and further apart. "The first time...I was scared at the though of spending the rest of my life with him..." She shook violently, it only lasted for a second. "After we got back together... It was like he was just always waiting for it... I couldn't do that to him anymore..." She sniffed. "It hurt so bad, every time I told him I needed to talk he'd get that look in his eyes..." She shivered, remembering those eyes. "I had to stop it..." She sat up, hugging Nattie from under his comforter. "What do I do?" she whispered, everything inside of her breaking, shattered.

just open your eyes
and see that life is beautiful.

[Xx_Pandavik_xX]

Nathan Aiden Silver

Hearing her reasons he couldn't help but feel shocked. Why did she feel like she couldn't imagine herself with Ian for the rest of her life? If she loved him then being with him forever should've been normal. Hearing then the rest of the reason why she broke up with Ian made things harder for him, she was sacrificing her happiness and her time to be with Ian just because she hated that when she uttered those words the other kept thinking she was going to break up with him. He knew that communication was all they needed and those two would've been together yet again. Given the choice he couldn't help but feel torn, because he could say she did the right thing and allow himself to possible get with her. If he did that his sister might have a chance with Ian but until then Ian would be miserable. If he took the other choice of telling her that all she truly needed with Ian was communication and that those two shouldn't break up over that...then he was sacrificing the happiness of his twin and himself. Oh this was difficult, it really was. After contimplating silently, his free hand going to touch the wolf necklace charm on his neck he sighed and decided to yet again put his happiness on the line. "I think, that Ian and you needed more communication. Explain to him why you broke up with him the first time and then explain how you felt when his eyes would show that...emotion, when you would tell him 'I need to talk.' That...that was the reason why you broke up with him because you hated seeing him with that fear and doubt everytime you said that. Hating that you seeded that fear in him when you just wanted him happy." he gave her a smile then, "I think that he would get back with you, but it's all up to you if you accept or simply say that you wish to remain good friends instead. You always have choices in everything you do, you will also have me to support you and talk to. You aren't alone." he whispered wiping the last tears from her face that he still loved despite how 'messed up' it seemed with it red-puffy eyes and it's pink cheeks.

Theme of the moment

[x-AegyoPanda-x]

【S】tarling 【S】ara【S】ilver

【S】tar 【S】tar-sky.

Thinking about: .
Hearing him say that it was nothing then, as she was leaning behind the door, shyly. But what she never expected was that the door was pulled from her and she lost her balance, falling forward, but she grabbed onto the sill, before standing up straight and casting a glare straight to her brother, while her cheeks blushed lightly, even though cold wind kissed them ever so softly. Suddenly, he asked if Elena was here and she heard her run past, but what she couldn't stand was that pain in his eyes, and it crushed her to millions of pieces inside. She knew that deep down inside, she never would have a single chance with someone like him and it felt like she was dying as soon as she realized it..Dead inside. Suddenly, he said he had to go and then disappeared and it made her want to break into tears. But she saw her brother push her forward and heard what he said, so giving a quick hug, she walked rather quickly out the door, one arm wrapped around her stomach. The cold bites of wind leaving pink patches of skin, and it lightly stung but she didn't care. Number one priority: Finding Ian. Jogging at a fast pace, she ran past multiple tree's and countless houses, before she came across a bunch of bricks, that were pretty loose, and looking over them, she couldn't see anything and tried to climb up further before they collapsed underneath her. Sliding down the hill, she felt more rips and dirt go on her jeans..Yay. It kinda hurt though, "Ah."She winced lightly, before standing up, ignoring the bruises that will be there by tomorrow morning. As she kept walking, dusting herself as best as she could, she found a road path and walked along it, until she found an old deserted alley way..She seemed to have gone the long way, but anyway, atleast she was there. Walking into the old alley way, it took her around about thirty seconds of entering to see a figure crouching in the corner, face in palms..It hurt her enough as it was to see him like that at the house, but to see him in this much pain. Well it felt like her heart was crushed my a truck, thrown into a wood chipper then cut up into the smallest pieces and put into a blender that was on turbo speed. The razors cutting them to puree. Then someone sucking it up in their smoothie and chewing it over and over.
Thats how much it hurt.
Kneeling down infront of him, she put a soft hand on his shoulder, the lightest touch, before she spoke lightly. "Ian...You shouldn't have to feel this pain..Especially what you and Elena both are doing to yourselves...It hurts yourselves physically and mentally..Plus..It hurts the people around you that care about you guys too." Sitting down next to him, she removed her hand off his shoulder, before taking the risk and putting her arm around him, hugging him..Trying to comfort him or make him feel better. Anything then the pain.

Who am I, you ask? I am:Miss Bubbly..

Shark necklace

Wolf and eagle feathers with an opal.

[Morgan Charlene]

Ian Dimitri Xavier


Ian felt a hand gently on his shoulder and looked up.Star? why had she followed him. His chest felt like it was a football players chest pad in a major league game. His heart, like the ice in the snow cone machine. He leaned into her as she put her arm around him. Silent tears fell down his face. "Everything I do causes her pain." he said quietly. "She broke up with me and i still cause her so much pain. "I can't keep doing this Star. Everywhere i go it follows. the pain goes with me everywhere. Even in my house the pain crawls from the floorboards." he said his voice quivering. "I can't take this anymore." he whispered.

[x-AegyoPanda-x]

【S】tarling 【S】ara【S】ilver

【S】tar 【S】tar-sky.

Thinking about: .
Feeling him look up to her before, it caused her sadness as well, icy blue eyes full of pain and hers that reflected hurt of seeing him like that. But once she put her arm around him, he leaned into her, how she could tell? The warmth of his skin; not matter how cold it was. As well as his scent. He always had a sweet type of smell, but his touch was soft as well. Yet as he leaned into her, she could feel the shuddering of his body and warm tears fall onto her shoulder. Her heart ached in agony. For his pain, and hers. Yet even though, she pushed it aside and focused on being the good friend she should be. Just like she had told Nattie. But upon raising a hand to his cheek, she used the back oh her hand to lightly wipe away the tears that flowed unwanted from the boy. They felt warm, yet cold on her hands, and her soft skin lightly brushed his cheeks as she collected them from his face to try and dry them. Hearing his story, it indeed was sad and heart breaking. But what he said next was worse. "I can't keep doing this Star. Everywhere i go it follows. the pain goes with me everywhere. Even in my house the pain crawls from the floorboards." he had told her which was so surprising for her, and if you could listen you could hear a snap of her heart for him. But she heard his voice quivering with pain from the memory. "I can't take this anymore." he whispered to Star. Taking a deep breath, she put her free hand on his head and smoothed it softly. "I know..It hurts, like there is no other escape and that sometimes you think that if you just disappeared from the earths surface, everyone would be happier and wouldn't care. But it's not that. You can't just give up..You gotta keep trying and if it fails, then maybe it wasn't meant to be..Just never think it's the end, and remember..I'm always here for you. So is Nate.." She said, her voice cracked lightly, but she coughed lightly and continued. But she finally got it out, even if she felt run over by the process. But something made her think of something even more important as she remembered how red his face was.."Ian..The mark on your face..It wasn't nothing was it..."



[[[[EDDDITTEDD]]]]]
Who am I, you ask? I am:Miss Bubbly..

Shark necklace

Wolf and eagle feathers with an opal.

[LadyLiliT]

ll J a c q u e l i n e xx H e l e n a xx M o r t ll

so I'll waste these nights for a while
but I'll be holding onto you forever.

She shook her head. "I can't. I'll just hurt him again. I always do or say something to hurt him. I can't live like that, in fear to hurt him. I can't." She looked up at Nattie. "Haven't you ever given up your happiness so that others could be happy? Sure, it's a martyr thing to do, but...if it has to be done..." She looked down at her hands. "I don't want to be with him anymore. I love him, and it hurts...but I don't want to be with him..."

just open your eyes
and see that life is beautiful.

[Morgan Charlene]

Ian Dimitri Xavier


Ian winced slightly as her hand touched his face. But he tried to hide it. He felt her hand on his head and a few more tears fell from his face. why did he have to hurt everyone he went near. "No it wasn't" he said quietly. Even Elena didn't know his dad abused him and his mom. she knew he yelled and screamed. But she didn't know all of it. It hurt to keep it from her. He felt like he was deceiving her. Like he was lying to her. It felt to him like he couldn't actually love her if he kept it from her. But if he didn't love her would he feel this pain. Would his heart hurt so bad he contemplated suicide if he didn't love her. He was shaking now. His head was aching from trying to figure this all out. he wanted to go home but he didn't have a home.He had a house but no home. No place he felt truly safe in, where people loved him for him. Star's place was the closest he had.

[x-AegyoPanda-x]

【S】tarling 【S】ara【S】ilver

【S】tar 【S】tar-sky.

Thinking about: .
Feeling his black hair on the bottom of her hand as she continued soothing his hair out and felt it run through her fingers, soft and smooth. But, she felt more trickles of warm wet tears slide down his cheeks and she frowned softly. One arm still around him, she rubbed his arm lightly, but when she heard him say, not really, she knew something was up. Sighing lightly, she looked to him, and lightly pressed on it with her pinkie finger, feeling the heat radiating under the skin come up and she could feel how burning it really was. "Was it your dad?" She asked, tilting her head lightly so it laid on his softly. She didn't want anything like that to happen to him..."Did you wanna come back to my house..You can have a shower, get into something warm and I'll make you a coffee or a cup of tea...If you want that is.."

[[Gah! Short]]
Who am I, you ask? I am:Miss Bubbly..

Shark necklace

Wolf and eagle feathers with an opal.

[Xx_Pandavik_xX]

Nathan Aiden Silver

"I had only suggested, it is your choice. If it hurts to live in fear of hurting him then I understand why you did what you did. Honest I do. Just know that living in fear will eventually stop your for enjoying life, kay?" he moved a tiny bit so that they were both more comfortable once she looked at him. Fixing a few strays of hair from her face, the face he always loved despite the condition it was in, he listened. He always listened, always understood but he never showed how everything affected him. He had to be the strong one, the kind one, the understanding one. But hearing her question made him slow and then stop fixing her hair, a guarded look appearing on his face before that of quiet surrender. Looking her back in the eyes, making sure that the hurt was covered up because then she'd feel like what happened with Ian was happening with him, he nodded. "Yeah, I do it quite often. If Star, Ian or you are happy then I'd give up my own. I can't count the many times I offered my happiness just to make those dear to me smile, laugh, enjoy their life. But, it is what I do. I'll be happy if you guys are happy, not fully because I sometimes gave up something for it, but happy to know I could help you guys have that joy. So yes...I know how it is like." he knew he had ranted the same thing over and over but her question had slightly shaken him. "You're brave believe it or not. People, not all, would rather have their own happiness rather than those of others. I see that by you breaking up with Ian you are trying to offering freedom. The chance to be in a relationship where he doesn't have to second guess...You're strong for putting him over yourself." he whispered, letting her know that he understood her sacrifice and wasn't upset or disappointed with her choice. He knew he would've done the same thing, he had done the same thing. He had let Ian take Elena and never said anything, had cheered them on and helped them out whenever they needed assistance. Never did he suggest those two didn't deserve to be or that he didn't want it to be.

Theme of the moment

[Morgan Charlene]

sorry that last post was weird i must have pushed insert rather than delete please forgive my stupidity

[LadyLiliT]

ll J a c q u e l i n e xx H e l e n a xx M o r t ll

so I'll waste these nights for a while
but I'll be holding onto you forever.

Elena held herself tight. "Nattie... Is it weird that I can love him so much, but still not want to be with him anymore?" It just didn't sound right to her, or was she really just that messed up. "I want him to be happy, and I'm scared that if he catches me at the right time I'll go back to him just to make him stop hurting..." She gently pulled Nattie into a hug as silent tears rolled softly down her red and puffy cheeks. "Don't let me do that. You can't let me go back to him, Nattie." Elena pulled away, her mind in overdrive. "Promise me you'll stop it. Please. I hate to ask you this, I know Ian's your friend..." She held onto Nattie's arms, staring into his eyes. "I can't be with him...don't let me... Whatever it takes. Slap me, I don't care."

just open your eyes
and see that life is beautiful.

[Xx_Pandavik_xX]

Nathan Aiden Silver

"Weird?" He repeated, but from the tone he used you could tell he was thinking the question over. "No, I do not think it is weird. I think that you love him so much you do not wish to be with him so that you do not hurt him. That means a lot and I think it's pretty reasonable." he wondered if he would ever do that, give up on her if it meant her happiness if her next lover wasn't him, if he was never her lover. Before putting much thought into this really good question her pleads snapped him quickly into the now, yet again, but this was not what he had expected. "Elena...I..." he stopped himself before saying anything else, looking into her eyes he knew without a doubt that he couldn't say no to her. "I will do what I have to, I promise I'll do what is in my power to stop you from going back to him. I hurt for him since I don't want him to think I purposely am doing this against him...but I know, I can see, that you might not be able to do this alone. That is ok since you aren't alone, I'll help you stay strong. I promise you." he hugged her back, cradaling her head softly against his chest as he shielded her, metaphorically, from everything that'd bring her pain. "Now, I know now is not the time. But I need to know...what happened today? When...when Star found you? I know you were with Ian but...what happened from there to now?" he asked, worried that she might be starving herself or forcing her body to function without rest or something of that sort.

Theme of the moment

[LadyLiliT]

ll J a c q u e l i n e xx H e l e n a xx M o r t ll

so I'll waste these nights for a while
but I'll be holding onto you forever.

Elena leaned into Nattie, letting him be her wall. "I don''t know what I did to deserve a friend like you, Nathan, but I'm glad I did it. I'll never be able to repay you for all that you've helped me with." At his next question, she knew she had to reveal the only secrets she'd ever kept from him. "I haven't been eating for a while...and..." Rot with guilt and shame, she lifted her left sleeve up from her wrist, pushing it back to her elbow. Tons of cuts, not exactly shallow, old and new, were finally brought to light. Her tears started to fall again. "I haven't exactly been..." Her words died as she buried her face into Nattie's neck.

just open your eyes
and see that life is beautiful.

[Xx_Pandavik_xX]

Nathan Aiden Silver

Simply smiling at her words he shrugged, "I don't either, sometimes things happen and sometimes those things end up becoming our great choices. I'm glad we've met and are what we are, I'm glad you are happy with having me as a friend." Unsaid words left in the dark, unsaid wishes hanging on his tongue just waiting to be said. When she pulled away he knew she was about to share with him the reason why she needed to be helped by Star to get here. Why Star was obviously freaked and have so many questions answered. Her words little knives to his chest since he could've guessed that but he hadn't been enforcing his thoughts like he should have. He should've cooked or taken them all out for a meal to make sure she ate but he hadn't, hoping and trusting her to do that much for her well being. But he forgot that when you were hurting you lost your appetite and you couldn't force yourself to eat. But what came next was even worse, looking at her scarred and still slightly bloody arm he felt himself go into protective overdrive. Grabbing her hand and lacing their fingers from behind he drew her arm closer to where he could see the cuts better. "Oh Elena...you should've come to me sooner...to help you through this. I really should've known, I'm sorry for not intervening sooner." he whispered before silently and gently kissing each cut, old and new, fresh or old. Remembering how his mother would said love would heal your wounds, how she'd kiss his scrapes when he'd fall and feel all warm when she'd do that. He wanted Elena to feel that happy, fuzzy feeling. To feel like it'll be alright, that she was loved and would heal. He was here, he always had been and always would, if only she'd see that.

Theme of the moment

[LadyLiliT]

ll J a c q u e l i n e xx H e l e n a xx M o r t ll

so I'll waste these nights for a while
but I'll be holding onto you forever.

Elena shook her head. "Please don't blame yourself for not knowing," she muttered. She didn't want Nattie to hurt like that over her. "No one saw it..." Then Nattie did the most fantastic thing. He pulled her arm to his lips. Strange feelings clenched Elena's heart as Nattie began to kiss her cuts, some still drying. She pulled her arm away, suddenly shy for no reason. She made Nattie look at her. "Eww," she smiled gently, wiping Nattie's bottom lip with her thumb. "That was gross." She chuckled slightly, still shaken by that feeling she had gotten. She let her hand cup Nattie's face. "Sweet, but oh so gross."

just open your eyes
and see that life is beautiful.

[[EDITED]]