baby girl saranghae
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i smile like this, always
even when the world makes it difficult,
i don't ever want to show you my tears.
even when the world makes it difficult,
i don't ever want to show you my tears.
- "Jan Di, I won't give up. Don't, not for a second, think I will." A hand reached to touch the young girl's face, carressing her soft skin. His hand made it's way to the back of her head, pulling her closer to his face. The couple's soft lips met... "G--Goo Jun Pyo...Jun Pyo." Jan Di's small whispers echoed throughout her empty room and she shifted her position before realizing that her small alarm clock was going off. She quickly sat up, her head spinning slightly and her eyes swollen from her lack of sleep. Jan Di pushed her hair behind her ears and turned towards the alarm clock, gasping. If it weren't for the terrible [ahem] dream she had that night, she might not have been so tired that she had slept in. She ran into the bathroom and squirted toothpaste on her toothbrush, not bothering to run water over it even though the substance would feel terrible inside her mouth. "Goo Jun Pyo!" Jan Di yelled into the mirror, her words a little muffled from the toothbrush. She pointed at herself in the glass, "It's your fault! You are definitely the worst!" The girl spit the fluid into the sink and then glared into the mirror again, "You have a serious death wish!"
Jan Di growled and trudged back to her room to her dresser where her school uniforms and clothes were placed. She rubbed her chilled, red nose and quickly dressed into her school clothes. The girl tied her black hair into pigtails, clipping two bunny clips onto one side of her head. After she was finished, her hands automatically dove for the bag that she no longer need to carry due to a shoulder injury she had aquired some time ago. A forced smile danced across her lips and she sighed, laughing a small bit. You'd think she had gotten used to not carrying the bag anymore. Because of her shoulder injury, or maybe because she hadn't gotten it treated after it happened, she could no longer swim. Well, it wasn't the feeling you get when you mother bans you from playing the xBox or the PlayStation. To Jan Di, swimming was so much more dear to her than every video game in the entire world. She figured that since she wasn't too pretty, smart, or had a lot of money, swimming was the next best thing. Not only was she good at it, but she was one of the few that actually liked it.
She supposed that she blamed Goo Jun Pyo a little bit. But, he was there to save her, even though he hadn't defended himself at all, he was there for her. Jan Di liked him very much for that. In almost every dilemma they had faced, Jun Pyo was always there for her and he believed her. He was certainly a juvenile punk, but if he were any different, Jan Di would not have liked him as much as she did. She laughed at the thought of the arrogant boy being a sweet, gentle man like Ji Hoo, another boy she had liked who happened to be one of his bestfriends.
It was a little complicated to describe to triangle they had. Jan Di preferred not to talk about it at all, whether it be with Ji Hoo, Jun Pyo, Ga Eul, or anyone else. She disliked to even think about it. When she first started her education at Shinhwa High School, Jan Di absolutely hated almost everything about it; the snooty girls, the egotistical guys, and most especially the F4. Everything about the F4 she disliked, also. Their perfect hairstyles, the way the could wear their own clothes and not get in trouble, the fangirls, the money, the fame, and the way they treated other people. The only good one she could spot out of all of them was Ji Hoo. Of course, like the rest of the F4, he wasn't kind to her and he wasn't too friendly, but he was more than anyone else. Actually, he was pretty dull but at the same time so interesting to Jan Di. Jun Pyo, on the other hand, was almost the exact opposite of his bestfriend. Jeez. At first, he tried to play little games with her. Not the friendly type, but the mean and annoying type, like trashing the pool and having the whole school throw things at her. Then, as they started to know each other more, he became...attracted to her. Jan Di herself didn't know why, but he was. Though his temper was pretty ridiculous and his obsession with himself was quite annoying, Jan Di eventually learned to like him back.
Now it's pretty obvious how it all went wrong, right? Best friends liking the same girl, the girl liking both boys but tending to give the other more attention at times? Not only was it frustrating for Jun Pyo and Ji Hoo, but Jan Di was stressed a lot, also. Jan Di smiled again to herself when remembering back when it was easier than her current situation. She looked up, feeling her eyes burn a tad bit and then grabbed her bag, exiting the small room. When she entered the main room, she saw her family sitting around the table like they usually did, her brother was almost ready to go to school. Jan Di stuttered a little, "Am I not late?" Kang San shook his head and pointed to the clock on the bare wall. The girl blinked for a few seconds before laughing a little softly and then sitting down across from her mother. Both of her parents looked a little grave and depressed, which worried Jan Di like it would any other daughter who was sane. Before Jan Di could ask what was wrong her mother pouted;
"Honey! Our daughter has certainly failed us, loosing to that rich woman. Goo Jun Pyo will no longer have our daughter as his wife. And not even a few weeks ago he was already speaking of her as if they were already married. Jan Di is just no good." Her mother sobbed, making the wierdest face as if she were the hybrid baby of a duck and a little cocker spaniel. Then the woman's face lit up, "What about that one boy...ah, ah...Ji hoo! Jun Pyo, of course, is the heir of Shinhwa and Ji Hoo might not be as rich, but he is good looking and--" Jan Di stood up and grabbed her bag, "Umma! Stop it..." She half-understood her mother's concern with she and Goo Jun Pyo's relationship. She understood that her mother had a right to be concerned about money and the welfare of her family, but to go so far as to compare Ji Hoo and Jun Pyo made Jan Di quiver. Her mother huffed and mumbled things under her breath that the girl couldn't quite understand, but she knew that she was still carrying on the conversation with herself.
Jan Di left her house, still giving both her mother and father a goodbye and a small hit on the shoulder for her brother. The morning hadn't started off the best, but it was okay. Unfortunately, she had completely forgotten to eat breakfast because of her mother's surprising comments. Jan Di wondered if that was she was left to do; fall in love with Ji Hoo even though she still had a gut feeling that he was not yet over his first love. But, how could she go back to Jun Pyo? He was marrying Jae Kyung and leaving her behind. There was just no way she could equal to a beautiful, fun, and not to mention very wealthy girl. There was also Goo Jun Pyo's mother she had to worry about. The foul woman had no intention of having Jan Di as her daughter-in-law. For all Jan Di knew, his mother could have the power to send her out of Korea. Jan Di pedalled a little faster on her bike just at the idea of confronting that awful person again. Awful, awful, awful. Everything had turned out awful since she admitted that stupid, prestigious school. Sometimes she wished she were still with Ga Eul at public school. At least there she wouldn't have to put up with all the snooty girls and the Chanel bags and the pretty high-heels that Jan Di felt she would never be able to afford. When the girl was snapped out of her trance, she found herself already at the school and recieving icy glares, just like the previous day. After she locked her bike up, she made her way to the school and let out a long sigh. Of course this day, too, would be gloomy and depressing.
She pushed her dark black hair behind her ears as she walked on past the groups of people who all seemed to be ignoring anyone and everyone outside of their little cliques. Jan Di wasn't sure who she was with; F4 or by her lonesome self. It seemed that the only person ignoring her from the ridiculous boy-group was Jun Pyo. But she was still so greatful towards Ji Hoo who had been very kind to her over the past few weeks, no, months. It made her smile just thinking about him. "Oh, my God." Jan Di's path was stopped by the trio that made her want to gag. She slowly looked up from her feet to see Sunny looking at her with the most boisterous glare she had ever recieved, "Aha. So how does it feel? Goo Jun Pyo has finally come to realize that you are nothing but a weed growing amongst a whole garden full of beautiful flowers." Jan Di pushed out her lips and took in a deep breath as if she were going to say something but it all quickly fleed from her lungs when she saw Goo Jun Pyo standing right across the courtyard waiting for something or someone. Instead of saying anything back, she just whispered, "Goo Jun Pyo..."
even though you don't know my heart yet
i can still keep your smile , even from afar,
it's a relief.
Take one step towards me.
i can still keep your smile , even from afar,
it's a relief.
Take one step towards me.
