Post and I will hang you by your entrails. :B

[C 4 r t 0 0 n M u f f i n]

«x» ___ Sohma Kazuki ___ «x»

» b a s ii c s . o f . l ii f e «

→ a. k. a. ≠ Aunt Nami calls me Kazu-kun, and the girls at school call me "Prince"
You, however, can call me Kazuki

→ candles on a cake ≠ sixteen

→ surprise day ≠ May 18th

→ I am . . . ≠ Heterosexual...but I go along with it when my male friends 'flirt' with me to give my..fanclub a scare.

→ work, work, work ≠ first-year high school student

» d ii g ii n g . d e e p e r «

→ image in the mirror ≠ There is a reason I'm called 'Prince', so lets see if I can put my looks into words.

I almost reach a height of six feet; I am five-foot-eleven, and I'm lanky. My legs are long, and I have a rather laid-back manner of carrying myself. I have a discernable muscle mass, though I do not look bulky. On the contrary, I am a rather slender individual, with slight shoulders and the barest of feminine curve to my hips. There is something distinctly feline about my appearance that you notice all too well after you know what animal I transform into. I suppose it's my place as a tiger; I have lean muscles, a catlike form that makes me rather interesting to watch. Each move I make is always with graceful, almost feline precision. I am no pampered housecat, contrary to how I may behave; my easy movements belie the wild, reckless demeanor I sometimes long to set free. There is a certain aggressive edge to my movements, though it is subtle enough that most Outsiders do not notice it.

I am not of a typical Japanese appearance; I have blonde hair and blue eyes, for starters. It's an immediate sign that I am different..especially when combined with the rather Asian flair to my facial structure. My eyes are almond shaped, my nose is then, and I have a rather slim pair of lips as well. My looks could be described as 'pretty' rather easily, though I find it insulting to my pride as a man each time someone calls me that. I do not look agonizingly feminine, but there is no rugged handsomeness to my features. I can't even grow facial hair yet, strangely enough. My blond hair is always messy, whether I wish it to be or not. It tends to stick out in rather random spikes, making me look more carefree than I actually am.

When it comes to clothing, I prefer fitted things. My shirts are often made with a mandarin-style collar, though I can be coerced into wearing t-shirts at home easily enough. My pants are never baggy, and nothing I wear ever compromises my ability to make quick, easy movements. All clothing tends to flatter me though; I make my school uniform look exciting, simply by wearing it. I am not one for accessories, as extravagance is something I see as being grossly unnecessary. Nothing about my clothing style is 'odd'; it is the fact that there are no clothes that cannot flatter me in some way that makes my manner of dress seem strange to others.

→ sides of me ≠
I am calm, I am secretive. That sums me up rather well. However, I guess I need to explain myself more. I am an unnervingly calm individual, this much is true. It takes a good deal to get under my skin, unless you are important enough to me to be able to do so. I have no friends close enough to me to know what it takes, though Aunt Nami knows rather well which buttons to push. I have an outstanding amount of patience, even in the face of things and people I dislike. There's no point in losing my temper over anything. Most people say I'm cold, and I am. Being cold, holding people at arms length..it keeps me safe. It keeps those people from intruding in on my world. However, even if I am cold, I exude charisma. Even besides my looks, my presence draws strangers in. It's quite bothersome, though I can use it to my advantage. Being able to charm someone when a situation is about to turn ugly is quite a handy skill.

My mother and grandmother taught me my mannerisms from a young age. I am an outstandingly polite individual, and I am quite the gentleman when it comes to my behavior around girls..until they get too close. I guess I warrant the title 'Prince', though I don't really want it. I can speak kindly, be gentle when the need arises. Women, I have learned, are rather sensitive creatures, and I don't like upsetting them unless it's necessary. Aunt Nami is the exception, if for no other reason than I can relax around her. I care greatly about what other people think of me, even if I don't want them to get too close to me. I suppose that's one of my many oddities. I'm not quite sure if my noble, 'prince-like' demeanor is true. I tend to believe that it's a lie. It probably is, to be quite honest. Speaking of which. I lie rather often. It's easier to tell someone who doesn't know me well what I want them to think, rather than what's true.

When I am around people I am more content to be 'truthful', I am a rather sarcastic, blunt individual. I am truthful to a fault around people I feel I can be that way towards. My sarcasm if often subtle in public, not picked up by those who aren't looking for it. However, around 'friends' and my close family, I can be downright rude when the mood strikes me. I am not a volatile person by nature, so it's pretty hard to get me to raise my voice, but..it can happen sometimes. I have to be really frustrated with something for that to happen, though, and I am nothing without my unflappable patience.

→ retell the tale ≠ I'm sure there's many a person who would enjoy hearing about my past, and most of them will never get the chance to learn it. However, I suppose I can tell you.

My mother's name was Satsu. She was a Sohma, a high school teacher, and the older sister to Chinami, the firstborn of the cursed jyuunishi, the Eastern zodiac. My aunt. I believe my mother was afraid of me being born..afraid that I would be a part of the curse as well. However, she swore not to abandon me. A shame she didn't make my father make the same promise, didn't tell him about the risks of me being born.

It was a remarkably cold evening in May when I came into this world. I was two months early, and Mother knew the moment she went into labor, that I was going to be cursed as her younger sister was. But she had sworn not to leave me. Her only task was to get me safely into this world, and pray that my father would accept me for whatever I was. The delivery room was run by Sohma family members..the curse had become a secret, rather than a legend, but these people were the ones who knew of it nonetheless. And so, Mother didn't shoo anyone out of the room. She simply took me from my grandfather's arms, and the change happened..just as she had feared. I was no longer an infant child; I was a tiger cub, white in color, with eyes that weren't even open yet.

She and my grandfather tried to explain what had happened, but 'Father' would hear nothing of it. He walked out the door, and Mother never heard from him again until he had sent papers for her to sign for their divorce. I think his leaving broke something in her, and I always resented that person I'd never met for that. When he finally came back, I was four years old. We should have considered ourselves lucky that he never told anyone about the curse, but that didn't matter. When he returned, his memories of the curse were erased. And that truly was the last we saw of him.

My childhood was normal enough, with my mother raising me. She didn't resent me; she loved me as a mother should. I was happy there with her. My grandparents and my aunt were often there to look after me, and when Nami went to college and Grandfather died, it was Mother and Grandmother who took care of me. It was they who pushed me gently towards my goals, who made sure that someone was there to help me with my homework and teach me. I was the best student in my class all throughout middle school, and Grandmother taught me to be a very polite person to girls, even if I couldn't hug them. And, from the moment my body started growing used to the changes brought on by puberty, I was rather popular with the girls.

One rainy night, when I was fourteen, Mother was driving home from doing some extra work at the school when she was hit by an oncoming car. She was pronounced dead at the scene, and I was now an orphan. There was a lot of thought given to what would happen to me. Grandmother couldn't take care of me, so the Main House 'graciously' opened their doors to attempt to swallow me into that suffocating cage. However, they never got the chance. It was my aunt who stepped forward, who offered to take me in. No...'offered' isn't the right word. She flat-out told the head of the household that she was taking me in. It probably wasn't the smartest move on her part, and most people would have been concerned about doing that..especially when it had been the Head of the Household who had made sure that her house was paid for. But I can remember hearing her talking, sitting in Grandmother's kitchen with that person and my grandmother.

"If our God comes home and demands that we live at the Main House, then we'll go. Until then, you have no rights over myself or Tamaki."

I suppose it was part of her influence as the oldest of the zodiac. Or, maybe it was just because they didn't know how to act in the face of such blatant rebellion. It didn't matter one way or another, because she took me to live with her. I got rather used to her eccentricities, and I was simply happy that I got to stay with her. I still didn't completely understand what she'd meant by 'our God', as no one had explained the curse fully to me. I didn't learn much more about the curse than I already knew until after Nami came home one night from drinking, looking as if she suddenly was too old for everything. She told me that we'd been found out, by that weird actor friend of her. Yuji or Ryou or whatever I was supposed to call him. She told me that we had to keep it a secret from the Head of the Household that he knew, or else he would have to have his memories erased. I kept my mouth shut, because he was important to her somehow and I wasn't going to destroy something for her.

When I entered high school, I quickly found myself face to face with a ridiculous extreme to a situation I thought I had grown used to. It only took a few months before the girls called me 'Prince', for my demeanor as well as my looks, and..I found myself with a fanclub. Most annoying. I'm still trying to figure out a way to get rid of their ridiculous notion that if they obsessed over me, I would notice them. It made my school life more difficult, if nothing else; I had to turn down quite a few girls, and preventing them from hugging me was a whole new challenge in and of itself. I'm immensely grateful to get a break from that in the wake of New Year's.

I finally was told about the Jade God by Nami the fall after I entered high school. I think her natural instincts were kicking in, because something had her on edge during the fall. It must have been more taxing on her, but she explained it to me. And, recently, we were told that there would be a banquet. We were invited to attend, along with two other..'branches' of the curse, each with gods of their own. And, we were told that our own Jade God was coming home to take a place as the head of the family.

Nami's worried; she thinks that something is being schemed, and I know how she hates it when she doesn't know what's going on. I like to think that maybe it'll be all right, but I'm not sure. I've never been to the Main House for more than a few hours for a checkup, and I don't know if I'm ready to spend a few days there.

I do, however, know that I am not ready to meet the only person who holds sway over that cursed part of my soul.

→ don’t tell a soul ≠ The curse, obviously..along with the fact that Ryou-san knows about it.
I'm a secretive person in general, about even the most minute things. There's far too much to list, and it all leads back to the curse in the end. So we'll leave it at that.

» p e r s o n a l . ii n f o r m a t ii o n «

→ i love ≠
Traditional food - Aunt Nami almost always cooks traditional food, so I suppose I should count myself lucky that I prefer it over more 'Western' food.

Onigiri
Melonpan
Sweets
Rain
Quiet Places
Drawing
Photography
Being around 'normal' people
Vinegar
Umezuke
Card games

→ get away ≠ Snakes
Birds
..Animals in general, actually.
Pizza
Spicy food
Clingy girls
The Curse
Nosy people
Overused jokes

→ shaking in my boots ≠
Dark places
Being discovered
The Main House
Guns
Dogs(..Well, except for Aunt Nami...)

→ getting power ≠
Calm
Intelligent
Charismatic
Polite

→ weak at the knees ≠
Kind girls

Cold
Sarcastic
Distant

→ dance to the music ≠
Superman (It's not Easy) -- -- Five for Fighting
TEAR -- -- Kirito
Meet me on the Equinox -- -- Death Cab for Cutie

→ be an oracle ≠
"It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed." -- Theodore Roosevelt
"Aunt Nami..why do you keep this weirdo around?"

» c u r s e d . f o r . l ii f e «

→ are there any animals in here ≠
The third animal to arrive at the banquet - The tiger.

→ fur, spots, stripes ≠
I dislike this form, as it's so..cute. Though I've been getting bigger lately, I am still a rather small, white tiger cub. It's a genetic mutation that results in certain tigers having white fur and blue eyes as opposed to orange fur and yellow eyes. I don't have an excessive amount of stripes; they're randomly placed across my head, sides, and tail, and the tip of my tail is black. I have rather large paws, and I am rather uncoordinated in this form, embarrassingly enough. I am also somewhat..playful in this form.

» t h e . b ii g . m a n «

→ behind the mask ≠ C 4 r t 0 0 n M u f f i n

→ skittles, taste the rainbow ≠
Place your bets on C H A N C E and A P A T H Y

[C 4 r t 0 0 n M u f f i n]

«x» ___ Chrystian Brewer ___ «x»

» b a s ii c s . o f . l ii f e «

→ a. k. a. ≠ I guess the 'rents though 'Dante' sounded like a nice enough middle name. That's what I always went by on the streets.
But unless I'm high, you can just call me Chrystian.

→ candles on a cake ≠ Nineteen- Amazing how young I am to have ******** up this much..

→ surprise day ≠ January 15th; I guess I'll be twenty soon enough.

→ I am . . . ≠ I'm only interested in girls if they're paying me for my company. ::homosexual::

→ work, work, work ≠ Tch; I make money by selling my body. It's enough for me to get a fix.

» d ii g ii n g . d e e p e r «

→ image in the mirror ≠ Once upon a time, I was pretty good looking. Once upon a time, I might have looked normal. Once upon a time..ah, enough of the fairytale bullshit.

Like I said. I was pretty good looking once. When I was sixteen, I reached my full height; I'm about 5'10. I had a decent enough muscle mass then .I wasn't ripped, but I wasn't some scrawny little b***h of a boy. Now, any muscle definition I have is hanging on by sheer force of will. I'm pretty bony, though I still have broad enough shoulders to prevent me from looking scrawny. I've got an almost girly curve to my hips..something that my 'clients' tend to like. I've got long legs and thin arms, My skin is just barely tan; a nod to some heritage of my Father's. I'm not pale, though I'm not as dark anymore as I was when I was younger. Now, I'm just kind of sick looking. If stretch out just right, you can see my skin stretching over my ribs. Body fat? Very, very little. You can see the balls of my shoulders, and my shoulder blades look really sharp too. Against the inside of my arm, you can still see the track marks. They're really easy to see; you'd have to be blind -not- to notice them, and you'd have to be stupid to mention them.

I guess, once you get over how thin I am, I'm still kind of good looking. I have a strong jawline, and rather..'noble' facial features. This is marred by the dark circles under my eyes, and the somewhat hollow look of my cheekbones. While mentioning my eyes..they're pretty neat; kind of teal in color, but they'll be looking bloodshot until I stop drinking and I get a good night's sleep. I have a really intense gaze though, especially when I'm glaring at you. Right beneath my left eye, I have '69' tattooed on my face. Don't -even- ask me why. I was high, and when I'm high, everything Jamie says sounds like it could be fun. There's some marks running down the left side of my face; scars from some accident or another. They don't take that much away from my appearance, so I usually forget about them. I have black hair, and I keep it short. It's usually messy, spiky, and it looks impossible to tame. It probably is; I wouldn't know. I never do more than comb it after I take a shower.

Now, I'll bet you'd be interested to know a few things that hide 'under' my clothing before we start talking about how I dress, wouldn't you? ******** pervs. Okay. I have quite a few piercings. Each ear is pierced no less than four times; my left is pierced about six, I think..yeah. Jamie got a little insane sometimes. My tongue is pierced as well, though I wouldn't let that woman anywhere -near- my tongue. Besides the tattoo on my face, I have black marks that look like claw marks tattooed against my hipbones, against my wrists, and against my ankles. They look wicked, though most people don't see any but the ones on my wrist. Well, not unless they're paying me to see more.

I don't have much of a care when it comes to clothing. If it doesn't smell totally rancid, I'll probably wear it. We left it to Jamie to get laundry done when she wasn't having an 'artistic moment', so I got used to wearing the same clothes two or three times before they got cleaned. I prefer hoodies, t-shirts, and baggy pants. Well, I don't really -intend- for my pants to be baggy, but it's hard to find something that'll stay up above my hipbones. I like the color black, and the color gray. I don't wear anything 'colorful' that often. I like chain jewelry, though I have a leather studded choker I wear that I took from Lucas's apartment. I don't take it off that often. I feel naked without it. I prefer wearing heavy boots, or dingy sneakers; 'stylish' shoes don't appeal to me, and neither do sandals.

Okay, that's enough about how I look. Go digging around so you can rip out some of my childhood memories from my skull or something!

→ sides of me ≠
I'm completely screwed up. Is that good enough for you? No? Well then.

For starters, I'm not a very 'polite' person. Manners have not been something I've needed in my lifetime, so I do not have them. I can be loud, coarse, and vulgar to boot. I'm the person who will complain about some sort of food smelling like s**t in the middle of a fancy restaurant. I wouldn't suggest taking me anywhere fancy unless you -want- me to make an a** out of myself and everyone around me. I'm good at that. Sitting still, sticking my pinkie out when I sip tea..it makes absolutely no sense to me. And I don't tend to bother with stuff unless I can make sense of them. Even if it's my own warped, twisted view of things, if I can understand something from my own point of view, then I won't bother with it.

It makes you wonder why I consider looking into this whole 'curse' business to be worth it.

By nature, I'm a really cynical person. Enough s**t has happened to me in my life for me to be somewhat jaded. To me, the glass is half-empty, not half-full. People suck, life sucks, the world in general blows big ones. I'm not interested in looking on the bright side of life. There's no such thing has happy endings, and if you think you can find the silver lining to any situation, then you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Why shouldn't I think this way? No one's ever showed me the bright side of anything. No one's ever showed me the silver ending, showed me a real 'happy ending'. I don't believe in that sort of s**t. My 'good things in life' are the vices that are going to ******** me over in the end.

I'm not much of a people person. When I want something, my first instinct is to try to seduce whichever person will be able to get that something for me. I've stayed alive by sleeping around, by having sex with the most vile of people just to get what I want out of them. When I'm done, when I get what I want, I leave. That's how it works. I don't know how to say 'please', or to work for what I want. If I give something up, I expect something better in return. Sure, it won't always work like that, but I can expect it. People always tell me I'm incredibly charismatic, even though I never put that to good use. Am I really? I don't suppose I'll ever know.

I'm screwed up, I really am. If I'm pushed too hard, I can get violent. It doesn't happen often, but it will happen. I ruin other people's lives, just by being around them. I killed my own mother just by being born, my best friend offed himself just because he stayed too close to me for too long. It's just..what happens. I hate it, but I can't change it. It's one of those things about life.

If you were smart, you'd stay away from me too. If you don't believe me, then maybe you should try to figure out more about what my life was like.

→ retell the tale ≠
It's not any of your ******** business, but I guess I'll tell you, since you asked nicely.

Angelica Langlois was a French woman who dreamed of being an actress. She moved to the City of the Angels when she was still pretty young, but she never quite made her big break. On the contrary; she was alternating between waitressing and whoring herself out just to stay alive. She never did get her big break. Instead, she met my father. Anthony Brewer was a rather accomplished doctor, about fifteen years older than her. I guess it was one of those "Pretty Woman" sort of life stories. They fell in love, they got married, and happily ever after..right?

Wrong. Happy endings don't exist, after all.

When my Mom got pregnant, I guess they were happy enough. There was no acting for her, but my old man could take care of her, and that was good enough. Well, it was good enough until I was born. I was two months early, but that didn't make it any easier on my mom to give birth to me. She was too small, too delicate. She had to have a c-section just so I could be born, but then, she was losing too much blood. Too many blood vessels burst from the pressure put on them. It was a condition that I'll explain later, something that would cause -me- trouble later on in life. In the end, my mom died from complications following the c-section. My old man always resented me for that, and he made sure that I, growing up, knew that.

I didn't care though. Even when I was still very young, I knew that I was special. I was meant to be somebody, to mean something. Although, with that man around, you'd never know it. He had enough affection for me not to throw me out on the street as a baby, and that was it. A nanny was hired to look after me, to deal with me and my frail, sick little body as a child. I don't remember much about that woman, because, even though she raised me, she just wasn't important. By the time I was ten, I was on my own. The old man and I lived in the same apartment without saying a word to each other for almost six years after that.

When we started speaking to one another, it was more arguing than anything. How could it be anything besides that? We hated each other, in a way that couldn't be expressed in words. Sure, he was my dad, but..he wasn't important enough to me either. He'd ignored me, he blamed me for what happened to mom. Like I had something to do with -her- genetics. Anyways. One day, when I was sixteen, he finally lost it. We yelled at each other, and eventually, we got into a scuffle before I quite realized -what- I was doing. I lost, of course, and he kicked me out of the apartment. Did he care where I went from there? Of course not; why would he? I didn't care either. I started walking, and I kept walking until my legs wouldn't carry me anymore. That was when Lucas found me.

..Ahem. Sorry. Just..give me a sec. It's hard to talk about Lucas. It's funny; I can rant and rave about my a*****e of a father, but I can't bring myself to say anything bad about the other man who abandoned me.

Lucas Rush was about twenty-one when he found me. He was working a bartender, and I guess he took pity on me when he found me. Even though it would be hard to support me too, he took me in. I was just this bratty, half-starved delinquent, but..he took it upon himself to look after me. I wanted to pay him back somehow. I didn't have anything to give him but myself. Okay, before you get that kind of look, Lucas wasn't some kind of creeper. He only went along with it because I pitched an unholy fit when he tried to tell me no. Besides. I was in love with him..I think. I had a lot of fun, when I was living with him. He had lots of stories to tell. He wasn't strict with me, he didn't try to tell me that I was worthless..minus the sex, he was kind of like an older brother, I guess. Yeah, that sounds ******** too, doesn't it?

He never told me about his issues though. Maybe if I'd listened, I wouldn't have been such a failure.

When I was seventeen, almost eighteen, I started experimenting. It wasn't anything major, to start with, and he went along with it, for a little while. AFter all, he had his own vices. Lucas kept it to himself as much as he could, but one day, he couldn't hide it anymore. He was high out of his mind, that first time he let me shoot up with him. That one hit, and I was hooked. And Lucas? When he realized -what- he'd done, it drove him out of his mind. He regretted it like nothing else he'd ever done in his life. And one day, he was gone. He found himself a tall building, he took a leap of faith, and a part of me died with him.

What right did he have to do that? To give up and leave me alone, a teenager with an addiction and no one to help him through it? I wanted to go with him, but I was scared. I was scared of what would happen if I killed myself without knowing why I had that empty feeling inside me. Why I felt that I was important when God knows I wasn't worth s**t. I blamed him..blamed him for leaving me alone.

It was hard to survive for a while. I found my way into homeless shelters, trying to figure out how to get money. To start out with, ******** strangers was something I did just to get food to eat. Soon though, it was something I did just to get a fix. I would stay with some of the people I slept around with for maybe a week tops. When I had my money, I was gone, onto the next person. I eventually found Jamie and Ethan, and I crashed with them for....oh jeez. Quite a while, I guess. They were just as ******** as I was; we managed to scrape enough money together to make rent every month, and as long as I got my smokes and my fix, I was good. Jamie was a tattoo artist; she made most of the money that paid the rent; she was the one who I let tattoo the 69 on my face, too. Ethan was a bartender at a real shithole of a bar. That place let me go in there and drink without ever asking for an id, though most teenagers were smart enough not to go to a seedy-looking place like that. Me? I was just somehow determined to off myself as soon as possible.

One winter, I started coughing up blood. I went to the hospital, they ran tests on me, and started asking me questions about my family history that I never knew how to answer. When I finally told them my father's name, he showed up to me one last time. I figured one or two things would happen. He would deny being my father, or he would man up and make sure I got the care I needed.

Instead, he told them what they'd found out about my mother shortly before she died, and then he left. They told me I had a rare genetic condition called Osler's syndrome. The capillaries in my veins were enlarged, which made me prone to nosebleeds, and could cause internal bleeding. They wanted to perform surgery on me, to try and get rid of the affected veins in my lungs so they wouldn't bleed. But it was expensive, and Dad sure as ******** wasn't going to pay for any sort of treatment for me..well, that's what I figured. So instead, I left. The doctors told me before I left though, that they were worried that if I pushed myself too hard, if I didn't take things more carefully, I could rupture blood vessels in my brain and cause permanent damage.

So, the first thing I did when I got out of the hospital was find some john on the street who would pay me for a quick ********, and I used the money to get high. What did I care? I was going to die soon enough, I might as well enjoy life before I went.

However, before I could give up and just die, someone found me. They told me about a curse, about the fact that I was 'god' of a special little freakshow full of people who transformed into animals when they were hugged by members of the opposite sex. Utter bullshit..I thought. At the same time, I couldn't help but wonder. What if this was that thing that was missing in me? That empty hole, the cause of nightmares that I tried to avoid by not sleeping? Maybe it was worth a shot.

I was given money for a plane ticket to go to Japan, and I was invited to remain at the 'Sohma Estates'. Japan? I was lucky when I was lucid enough to speak English. That money could have had me set up on smack for a good little while, but..I decided to go. I decided that maybe I would try to make a difference..not for anyone else, but for me.

The plane lands soon. It's been three days since I had a fix, and I am in complete agony. But maybe I'm kind of hoping that the pain will be worth it.

→ don’t tell a soul ≠
It's my fault that Lucas offed himself. That's just..what happens when people get close to me. They go insane.
I won't tell you about my addictions. I ache, I shiver, and I just want the pain to stop, but I won't tell you -why- I hurt that badly. Figure it out on your own, if you've got half a brain to do so.
Is the drinking, the smoking, and the drugs just a means for me to kill myself quicker? Now -that- is my own little secret.

» p e r s o n a l . ii n f o r m a t ii o n «

→ i love ≠ Smoking - I go through at -least- one pack a day. Maybe more if there isn't something else to occupy my mind.
Alcohol - It numbs the pain of withdrawal..briefly.
Toys - And I'm not talking teddy bears, folks..

Piercings
Sharp objects
Tattoos
Fire
Cigarettes
Sex
Coffee
Chains
B-movies

→ get away ≠
Heroin- I don't think that you can understand how much I despise this stuff without being in my position. I despise the fact that I have to rely on this to keep myself from hurting.
Withdrawal- I burn, I ache, and I just want the pain to stop. But it doesn't. The vomiting is annoying as ******** too.
Girls- Unless they're paying me, I'd prefer they just keep their filthy hands off of me.

Bleeding
Doctors
Ugly men
Sweets
Animals
Heights
Cell Phones
"Nice" people.

→ shaking in my boots ≠
Dying
Losing someone important.
Psychologists.
Being followed- Not stalked, necessarily, but people looking up to me. I don't need people following me down to rock bottom.
Small spaces
Dirty needles
Really -********- 'clients' - I have been paid to do some really kinky s**t. I'm not going into details, but seriously..you get much beyond trying to choke me during sex, and I'm going to have a problem.

→ getting power ≠ strengths

→ weak at the knees ≠
Pretty Faces- Hey, I'm only human. ..And I'm the only person who will see the humor in that statement.
Pain- I'm not really afraid of pain; I rather enjoy it actually. I'm quite the masochist, when it comes down to it..

Cynical
Foul-mouthed
Short-temper
Self-hating

→ dance to the music ≠
Fallen Leaves -- -- Billy Talent
I Will Not Bow -- -- Breaking Benjamin
Dead Promises -- -- The Rasmus

→ be an oracle ≠
"Three 'gods'?. Tch, what are we, the Holy ******** Trinity?"
"Ka-boom."
"Lucas, you sunuvabitch, who said you could take the easy way out?!"

» c u r s e d . f o r . l ii f e «

→ are there any animals in here ≠ My body, my mind, my everything is it's own curse. You should be afraid of me, for I am one of your Gods.

→ fur, spots, stripes ≠ animal appearance, one + paragraph

» t h e . b ii g . m a n «

→ behind the mask ≠ C 4 r t 0 0 n M u f f i n

→ skittles, taste the rainbow ≠ I will S h u t the W o r l d away...

[C 4 r t 0 0 n M u f f i n]

xxCHRYSTIANxxBREWERxx
xxxxAm I sick or AM I SANE?xxxx

I hitched a ride until the [ c o a s t ]
To leave behind all of my ghosts
Searching for something I couldn't FIND at home
Can't get no j o b, can you spare a d/i/m/e?
Just one more h/i/t and I'll be FINE
I swear to [ G o d ] this will be my o/n/e l/a/s/t t/i/m/e

In a CROOKED little town....

text text text text
text text text text
text text text text
text text text text
text text text text
text text text text
text text text text
text text text text

....They were LOST and never found.

I never once thought
I'd ever be caught
Staring at sidewalks
Hiding my track marks
I left my best friends....

or did they just leave ME?

[C 4 r t 0 0 n M u f f i n]

«x» ___ Sohma Chinami ___ «x»

» b a s ii c s . o f . l ii f e «

→ a. k. a. ≠ I like being called Nami by my friends, but..don't call me Chi. It reminds me too much of that manga..what was it..Chobits?
Oh, and if you call me Lassie, I will punch you in the teeth. No, seriously, ask Yuji. I've punched him before.

→ candles on a cake ≠ twenty-eight...w-wait..am I the oldest zodiac member?!

→ surprise day ≠ October 25th

→ I am . . . ≠ Bisexual. I'm not that picky; I've had girlfriends, but I get along well with guys too. The curse puts a damper on romantic relationships with men though.

→ work, work, work ≠ sushi chef;; It's rough sometimes, since people still aren't totally accepting of female sushi chefs, but..it's getting a lot better.

» d ii g ii n g . d e e p e r «

→ image in the mirror ≠
Seriously, there's a picture right there. I am the epitome of the classic good looks inherited by the Sohma family members. I'm slightly above average in height, about five foot six, and I'm slim. I don't have much in the way of curves..well, at the very least, I have rather slender hips. My chest is somewhat above average, coming close to being a C. I guess, when I wear clothes that fit a bit snugly, I look sort of top heavy. I have long legs, which some have said are one of my best features. I don't wear short skirts that often anymore though, so people don't see them too often. I'm in rather good shape too, so I guess I attract attention. I look younger than I am, too.

I've got classic, almost 'cute' looks. My hair is long, chestnut brown and not that remarkable. I keep it pulled back at work, and I keep my bangs clipped out of my way when I'm at work. My eyes are brown as well..well, actually, they're a kind of caramel color. They look more than just simple 'brown', so they're attractive enough. I have a slender nose, and a small mouth with rather delicately pouted lips. Yeah. I'm pretty. My skin is pale, with the barest of peach tones to prevent me from looking ghostly pale. It's also delightfully blemish-free, which makes it easier for me to simply avoid wearing makeup. This is helpful as I have no interest in wearing makeup at work; women are considered unclean when wearing makeup, so I make a point not to wear it or perfume except for special occasions. I'm lucky I don't need it, anyways.

When it comes to clothing, I prefer function over anything else. Jeans and button-down shirts. I can wear skirts and slinky dresses if I want, but I prefer comfort. I'm not an excessively feminine person by nature. I don't enjoy wearing jewelry, and I can make the most basic clothes work best for me. I don't accessorize at all. I'm simplistic. At the same time, I can wear kimonos, dress up, and look every ounce the elegant Japanese beauty that people imagine when they think of this country where I live. Since I dislike feeling stuffy though, it puts a damper on my willingness to wear those sorts of things. I'd rather wear a tank-top and blue jeans. Oh, you should cherish each instance you ever see me in high heels, because I don't wear them at all. I prefer sneakers, or the shoes I work in.

→ sides of me ≠
Now this I can put up with explaining to you.

For starters, I am a relatively laid-back person. It isn't easy to get me riled up about stupid things, unless you know me well enough to know exactly what buttons to push. I love having fun, love relaxing and simply enjoying time that I can use to unwind. With my friends, I'm pretty playful. It isn't hard for me to get along with others; I'm a rather sociable person by nature. I like talking to people, and I'm good at holding conversations. I'm charming, charismatic..people can be drawn to me without ever realizing why. Even though I'm laid-back by nature, I can be a bit of a pessimist. How could I not be, with what I've had to deal with through my entire life? Do I think the curse could be broken? I like to think so, but it's hard to contemplate that happening. Even if I'm sociable, I'm a grouch too. I can be just plain irritable at times, and my mood can swing from high to low pretty quickly. You just have to know how to anticipate those moodswings. Not many people can.

I enjoy being the fun one, the 'big sister' who can tease you to no end and still be the one to comfort you when you really need it. I will pick on my friends and family mercilessly, unless my respect for them is such that I wouldn't dare try to tease them. The list of people I respect that much is very short, though. I hate being reminded that I'm old, which is something people can tease me right back about. Karma, I guess. I'm a rather reliable person, which is something that tends to help me in every walk of my life. Much like my zodiac animal, I am an intensely loyal individual. If you befriend me, I will stick by you until the end. I will not leave someone I care about hanging in a bad situation, and I will bend over backwards to take care of those important to me. It's just..something I do. I am overprotective; I have to know that the people I care about are safe, will be safe even if I'm not there. It's probably annoying for them after a while, but I don't think I could stand something happening to someone important to me because I wasn't there to prevent it.

I am stubborn to a fault; I will not give in easily, and I don't crack under pressure. If I want something, I will keep going until I get it. I'm not afraid of a challenge, and I'm not one to submit easily. I wouldn't be where I am today if I couldn't take a little pressure, after all. I'm hard-working; I have to be. One little slip-up and I could ruin my career for good. Well, that's what I figure anyways. I'm the person who will stay at work until four in the morning, cleaning up, if that's what it takes to get the job done right. At work, I am obsessive about details, obsessive about making sure that everything's perfect. I've mastered the art of shutting out distractions. There's a reason that I'm good at what I do; even if I'm a woman, you can't deny that am one of the best at what I do. Why? Well, if nothing else, it's because I'm willing to work hard to reach the top, to be the best that I can be. Maybe that's why they thought I was a good investment.

If you can get under my skin, what will you find? I'm almost constantly on pins and needles, constantly trying to shut out the world around me while simultaneously trying to figure out what the opinion people have of me is. It gets pretty stressful after a while. It's why I cherish the moments when I can relax. When I'm at home and I can unwind, when I go drinking with Yuji or one of my other friends, I will let all of that tension just be washed away. It's back the next time I go to work or I go to visit the Main House, but it's a kind of mindlessly repeating pattern that I really don't mind. I don't worry about romance, because..come on. It's nice to have someone who cares about you that much, but the curse puts a damper on all of it. Maybe one day, I'll think about falling in love with someone. Maybe by then, it'll be too late. I don't think I'm too worried about it.

Well, that's who I am. You'll learn to love it.

→ retell the tale ≠ Weelll..what do you want to know?

My parents were pushing thirty-seven when I was born. Mom owned a flowershop, and dad was a sushi chef. Guess I got my love of it from him. Anyways! My older sister, Satsu, was sixteen years old when I was born. Yeah, I think my parents must have started really young. I guess when you're in love, that sort of thing happens. Anyways! When I was born, my father went to hug me and..poof. No more baby. Instead, I was a puppy. Now, this pretty much scared the hell out of both of my parents, but..Dad knew what it was. He hadn't expected it in any way, shape, or form, but he knew it. He was the Sohma, after all, and he had heard of the curse. But it hadn't come about for..a long, long time! Why now?

He didn't understand it, but he was determined that he wouldn't throw me away. Mama was a bit skeptical about it all, but I was her baby, and she wouldn't toss me away so easily either. So, I guess I was luckier than most; I had a loving family. Satsu, especially, adored me. I was like her favorite toy until she moved out of the house. Dad let me stay around him in the kitchen for a long time, growing up. I wanted so desperately to learn what he did, learn how to make sushi. Maybe he knew that I would grow to be a rather accomplished sushi chef when I was older. Maybe he just thought that humoring the baby of the family couldn't hurt anything. So, he taught me. He explained to me about how clean I had to be, because a girl making sushi was something that people were skeptical of.

I was Daddy's Girl all through my childhood. That's why it hit me the hardest when he died.

When I was ten, Satsu-the-Teacher fell in love with one of her fellow teachers. They were married before I turned twelve, and, a couple of months before I turned fourteen, Tamaki was born. I suppose, when he was born, Satsu knew that he was going to be like me. But she held him in the presence of her husband anyways, maybe hoping that he would accept Tama-kun like our parents had accepted me.

He didn't.

I don't think Satsu ever recovered from that. She never remarried, but she also never, ever abandoned Tamaki. Maybe that's why he's so much more innocent than many of the others. Anyways. I helped her look after him as much as I could. I was eighteen when I finally got into college, got into a culinary school. But before I get into that, let me tell you a little bit about my high school life.

The majority of my time in high school wasn't that remarkable, I wasn't unpopular or 'weird'; I'm a Sohma, after all, and we generally attract people rather easily..even if it's just because of our looks. I didn't date anybody, and I guess that was pretty weird, but I had other things to worry about. I spent a good portion of my weekends babysitting Tamaki, when I wasn't working at my part-time job. I didn't really -need- the money, but I liked having something I earned. The only thing interesting about High School, I guess, was meeting Yuji. He and I were in the same class. We never really spoke, until that one day. The class was talking about the future, where we saw ourselves ten years from now. I guess I surprised everyone when I told them that I saw myself as a sushi chef. It wasn't like I was going to lie though. Anyways. Yuji approached me during a break between classes and asked me why I wanted to become a sushi chef when I would be criticized for it, simply because I was a woman. That threw me off guard for a sec, just because I figured the answer was obvious. But, I told him anyways. It was because I wanted to do something I loved, even if I was criticized for it..because it was better than pretending I was happy with taking the easy way out.

The winter of my first year in college, Dad laid down to sleep and he never woke up. He had a quiet funeral, and I threw myself into my lessons as if they were the only thing that could keep me tied to him. As soon as I had graduated, I entered a school designed solely for the purpose of training sushi chefs. Girl or no, I made it through at the top of my classes. I was twenty-three, and a contemporary sushi bar called Sushi Toshi thought I would be a good investment and hired me.

I did my best. When I moved out of the house for college, I lived at the Main House instead. When I graduated, they helped pay for me a house outside of the Estates. I was living there when Satsu died in the accident. There was no getting Tamaki's father, and Mom was too old to raise the little tiger by herself. So, I offered to take my nephew in. He was a few weeks away from turning fourteen. I was nearly twenty-six. So, Tamaki came to live with me, in that place where we were as close to free as either of us dared to be. I guess he wasn't used to me, the crazy aunt, but he got used to living with me after a few months. I still have to tell him to call me Onee-chan, though. I am not old enough to be addressed as an 'aunt'.

One day, an old face walked back into my life. I was surprised to see Yuji, after all of those years. After exchanging our life stories from after graduation, we kept in touch. Talking, hanging out, going out for drinks...I guess I got too used to him being around. Not a bad thing, necessarily..until he found out about the curse. See, one night, we got into a little contest, to see who could drink the most. I could outdrink a sailor, so of course I won. I was making sure he got home all right when I guess he tripped. He fell right into me and..poof. Just to make it even better, he goes and passes out right after I transformed. So, I had to wait until I transformed back, get dressed, and drag his drunk a** somewhere. And, when he woke up, I told him about the curse. I didn't tell him that, if he couldn't keep it a secret, then he was going to have his memories erased. He never told anyone, and I guess he should consider him lucky that the proxy head of the household didn't see it fit to erase his memories. Well..so I say. In all honesty, I haven't told anyone that he knows. Tama-kun hasn't either, so I'm hoping that the ca..er..dog stays in the bag.

One day, I realized that everything was going to be different. Maybe it was my canine intuition. Maybe it was because I was the firstborn of the Eastern Zodiac. No matter what it was, I knew that something was going to change. I wonder if I was one of the first ones to know that the God was coming home. I like to think that I wasn't, but I probably was. After all, dogs are loyal creatures, and my bond to that person was probably strong because of that, even though I'd never met him.

There's to be a banquet this year. Two other branches of the curse are to be there as well. A group of Americans, and the twisted shadows of the original cursed zodiac. My only goal is to survive through the banquet, to make sure that Tamaki stays safe, and to not be trapped at the Main House.

I lived there for almost five years. That was long enough for me to realize that I couldn't stand the cage. And I don't want Tama-kun trapped in that cage either. And..God help me, I have the strangest feeling that there will be more members of the family, more distant relatives who will wind up living in one of the spare bedrooms in my too-large house.

And somehow, that thought comforts me.

→ don’t tell a soul ≠
I'm kind of worried about returning to the estates with the God there. I'm the oldest, so maybe they'll expect me to stay. I'm more afraid though that, once I meet the God, I won't have the strength to leave the cage that is the Main House.

I'm not much of a person for love and romance, but I'm still kind of worried that I'm never going to get married.

» p e r s o n a l . ii n f o r m a t ii o n «

→ i love ≠ sushi
sweets
fugu sashimi
cooking
knives
swimming
Tama-kun and Yuji - My nephew and best friend..why wouldn't I love them?
The beach
Drinking
Playing
photography
Clean places
cherries
Freedom

→ get away ≠
Food poisoning
The curse
vermin
cats
cages
fleas
bondage
carrots
getting older
soda
The Main House

→ shaking in my boots ≠
Being collared -Not literally, but..I'm afraid of being trapped, collared by the curse that has hovered over myself since the day my father held me in his arms.
Loud Noises
Getting fired
Being called 'old' - I'm not even thirty yet!

→ getting power ≠
Cooking - Sushi-making is my bread and butter; it wouldn't be good if I couldn't cook.

Charming
Sociable
Hard-working
Playful
Loyal

→ weak at the knees ≠
Booze - Am I an alcoholic? Nah, but I'll bet I could outdrink you.
Authoritative figures - What? I like a (wo)man who knows how to take charge.

Stubborn
Pessimistic
Grouchy
Overprotective
Easily insulted

→ dance to the music ≠
Alanis Morissette -- -- Not as We
Matchbox 20 -- -- Bent
Aqua Timez -- -- Ketsui no Asa Ni

→ be an oracle ≠
The unforgivable crime is soft hitting. Do not hit at all if it can be avoided; but never hit softly. -- -- Theodore Roosevelt
"Jeez, Tamaki, I told you! Call me Onee-san."
"Oh Yuji~ Are you having a mid-life crisis, old man~?"

» c u r s e d . f o r . l ii f e «

→ are there any animals in here ≠ I am the person cursed with the spirit of the Dog..non twisted.

→ fur, spots, stripes ≠ Well! In this form, I'm a collie. Yeah, yeah, just like Lassie. No wisecracks, all right? My belly and chest are white, and my back and the top of my head is a kind of tan color. I have a very long, silky coat. I'm very friendly in this form, perhaps moreso than in my human form. If you need someone to snuggle up to when you're upset about something, then I'm your wo..dog. Just..if you tug on my hair too hard, I may bite. I love having behind my ears scratched though.

» t h e . b ii g . m a n «

→ behind the mask ≠ C 4 r t 0 0 n M u f f i n

→ skittles, taste the rainbow ≠I started B L U R R I N G the lines because I didn't C A R E

[C 4 r t 0 0 n M u f f i n]

chinami sohma
m y apo log ies ;; what I've become is so bu rd en so me







text text text text
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Day one, day one
S/t/a/r/t o/v/e/r a/g/a/i/n
Step one, step one
I'm b.a.r.e.l.y making sense
Just yet I'm f a k i n g it
'Til I'm pseudo-making it
From s.c.r.a.t.c.h, begin again
If G/O/D is taking bets

IPRAYHEWANTSTOLOSE

[C 4 r t 0 0 n M u f f i n]

xxxxxxxxJAMESANDLEJAxxxxxxxx

She’s as d/a/r/k as the blood pulsing under her s.k.i.n,
Still afraid of the b o o g e y man under her bed

He's a s.t.r.a.n.g.e.r to some and a v/i/s/i/o/n to n o n e
On his face is a MAP of the world

TEXTTEXTTEXTTEXTTEXT
TEXTTEXTTEXTTEXTTEXT
TEXTTEXTTEXTTEXTTEXT
TEXTTEXTTEXTTEXTTEXT
TEXTTEXTTEXTTEXTTEXT
TEXTTEXTTEXTTEXTTEXT
TEXTTEXTTEXTTEXTTEXT
TEXTTEXTTEXTTEXTTEXT
TEXTTEXTTEXTTEXTTEXT





Y O U R S I N S I N T O M E

[C 4 r t 0 0 n M u f f i n]

XXFIRSTXXMIDDLEXXLASTXX
[[Insert a quote and any extra pictures you may have of your character here. Put the pictures in url form though, please..]]

>> i AM your SUGAR<<

i don't WANT to be a legend ---->.)
nicknames/titles please. If your character goes by a nickname more than their actual name, then please say so.



i'm older than you'll EVER be ---->.)
Age. Not necessary for the fey, as we kind of know they're ooold..

i've been DEAD a thousand years ---->.)
Role - The Prince, The Artist, etc.

i fall in LOVE for a night ---->.)
Sexuality? Or, is there someone they like?

>> i AM your CREAM<<

and candy SWEET faces ---->.)
Height-- How tall are they? You can use inches, centimeters, feet, meters..whichever you prefer
Weight-- How much do they weigh? Pounds or kilograms; whichever you perfer.
Hair-- Color and Style
Eye Color--
Other-- Scars/tattoos/piercings/birthmarks/etc go here.

>>.OBSESSION
Likes.
At least three.
Bullets please.

>>.REJECTION
Dislikes.
At least three.
Bullets please.

>>.QUAKING
Fears.
At least two.
Bullets please.

>> i AM your worst NIGHTMARE<<

everyone has BECOME my enemy ---->.)
Personality. Two paragraphs at least.

i'm gonna BLAME it on you ---->.)
History. At least two , please. Longer is welcomed.

>> NOW SCREAM<<

beauty in the PAIN ---->.)
Post colors. At least two, please.

sing LOUD and clear ---->.)
Theme song(s). Lyrics(a link) and the actual song(a link).

Username

[C 4 r t 0 0 n M u f f i n]

xxxxxxx S h a l l i t e l l y o u a Ѕтøяy?• • • •
A sтøяy in which I am the HERO/HEROINE_________Remove whichever gender your character isn't
[ x ] [ x ]



ℑt started with a N A M E . . .
xxxxi n s e r t n a m e h e r exxxx

Though Ѕømε called me__________
Their title. Which warrior they are, for the yin/yang army members, or their senshi/knight title for others.

_______i'm øℓdεя than you'll ever know
Affiliation. The Moon Kingdom? Nehelenia's Kingdom? Or are they unaffiliated?

xxxxxxxx Cøℓøя my нεaя†
If applicable, who did your character have feelings for?

they would bøw døwn and stare in wøndεя xxxxxx
What element is your character attuned with? The Yin/Yang warriors each have their own elements they correspond to, but I encourage creative thinking with any fanmade senshi.

øncε upøn a timε. . . .

my lifε was no faiяytalε_______
Your character's history. This doesn't have to be long, but I encourage you to be creative in your schemings for your characters. This especially true in the case of your original senshi.

xxxxxxxThey had many talεnts

_____count your last blεssings
Weapon. I encourage you to be creative! There's nothing quite so not-fun as a boring weapon.

xxxxxthe cuяsεs lurking in my head
Attacks!
The Yin and Yang warriors each have a certain amount of prowess for manipulating their respective aspects of nature(within reason), but they all have specific attacks as well.
Please list at -least- two attacks, but no more than four. Do not get too ridiculous with these attacks; there will be no kamikaze attacks, so don't even go there.

xxxxxxit is a talε før thε agεs . . . .

sing me that hεaяtfεlt søngxxxxxxx
Your character's theme song(s). I'll allow more than one but if you seriously have more than four songs then please just make a playlist for free on playlist.com so we can go there to look.


Cøℓøя the sky
Posting colors. At least two, but no more than four..please?

so how does the story end?
Well...
that's up tø Yøu . . . . .


U S E R N A M E H E R E

[C 4 r t 0 0 n M u f f i n]

Gimme an A - W - E - S - O - M - E ▐▌▐ ██
w h a t 's t h a t sᴘeᴌᴌ~ ~ ?
[Kiyoshi Ishiyama] ! ! !
[x][x]

▪▫▪▪▫ I ' ᴍ n o . 1 !
favorite food 1 ■■ favorite drink 1 ■■ favorite animal 1

y o u ' r e sɑʏiɴɢ i t w r o n g!xxxxxxxxxx
nicknames.

m a k e a wisн!
birthday

t h a t ' s n o t a wʀinᴋlᴇ . . . i s i t ?
age.

a s e c t i o n o f t h e ᴩɑᴩᴇʀ!xxxxx
western zodiac.

xxxxxxxxa r e w e a ᴍɑᴛcн ?
blood type.

i t ' s a liviɴɢ!
occupation.

m y fεεliɴɢs . . . w - w h a t ? ! ?xxxxxxxx
sexuality.

P i c т u ʀ e s o f м e □□□●□□□
favorite food 2 ■■ favorite drink 2 ■■ favorite animal 2

I ' m j u s t fuɴ - sizɛd!xxxx
height.
n o m o r e sweeτsxxxxxx f o r m e!
weight.
i t ' s t h e xxx sтʏle!
hair color/style.
n o сoɴтɑcτs h e r e f o l k s !xxxxxxx
eye color.
мɑʀᴋ i t u p !
tattoos/piercings/scars/etc.

c u z i ' m oɴe - o f - a - kiɴd!xxxxx
personality

xxxxxxl i f e i s s o uɴfɑiʀ!
history.

o ᴍ ɢ s т ɑ l k e ʀ ! ! ! ■ ▫ ■ ■
favorite food 3 ■■ favorite drink 3 ■■ favorite animal 3

c a n i h a v e ᴍoʀexxxxx? ! ?
likes

t h a t ' s s o . . . ɛwwww~!xxxx
dislikes.

o m g k e e p i t ɑwɑʏxxxxxxx !
fears.


i d o n ' t l i k e ʀɑiɴbows!xxxxx
post colors.

s e e y o u o n t h e dɑɴcɛflooʀ!
song(s).

l e t s b e Fʀiɘɴds, ' k a y ? ?

U S E R N A M E

[C 4 r t 0 0 n M u f f i n]

«x» ___ Roxanne Devaureaux ___ «x»

» b a s ii c s . o f . l ii f e «

→ a. k. a. ≠
Roxy: It's how most people shorten my name, I'm used to it, so if you wanna call me Roxy, go for it.
Minx: My stage name. I'm not innocent enough for a name like 'Kitten' or 'Candy', but Minx? Minx I like.

Roxanne isn't my real name. If you want to know my real name, you'll have to get to know me a little better~

→ candles on a cake ≠ twenty-two

→ surprise day ≠ October 30th

→ I am . . . ≠ Girls, boys, chicks with dicks..I'm only interested in the ride.

→ work, work, work ≠ I'm a stripper. Yes, a stripper. Some of you more dirty-minded guys may have seen me in a lesbian porno or two, but I sure as hell ain't a big name porn star. But you ask around New York and I'll guarantee you someone can tell you who I am.

» d ii g ii n g . d e e p e r «

→ image in the mirror ≠
Sex Goddess, suicide girl....I guess I channel a little of both.

I'm kind of arrogant about this, but the first thing people notice about me is my rockin' bod. I was always really big about running around and getting my exercise as a kid, and when I hit puberty and got blessed with a nice a** and a nicer rack, I kept on working out. I am toned, without being hideously buff. When I stretch out just right, you can see the definition of my abs. I'm like..a 34C, cup-wise. Yeah, my girlfriends have said they're pretty nice to hang onto. However, it's my hips and my legs that people are more entranced by when I'm on the stage..and when I'm walking around in public. I'm about five foot ten, and my legs go on for forever. They just look that much longer when I'm wearing high heels, and if you follow my legs from my ankles up, eventually you'll reach my hips. I've perfected the art of swinging my hips in just the right way, to make people wonder what else those hips can do, what else I can do. It's how I make my way in the world.

I am tan. I don't tan, but I was born with that sun-kissed skin that so many women want. Lucky me, right? My hair is black, and cut short. In the front, where my bangs cover my left eye, my hair has been dyed bright purple. It makes my eyes pop out that much more though, because they're purple too. No, not violet, not blue-that-looks-purple-under-certain-light. They are flat-out, no-holds-barred, royal purple. I tell people they're contacts if they don't know better. Purple tends to define me, it seems. My makeup is often purple, the barbell in my tongue is usually purple, and the jewel in my navel piercing is purple as well. It's my color, I guess. I've got a pretty 'cute' face, I guess. Wide eyes, a small nose, and pouted lips...it works for me. People say I have bedroom eyes; I have a pretty intense gaze, so maybe I do.

Now then, aside from my navel and my tongue, my ears are each pierced twice. I've considered getting more..daring piercings, but I'm not really into those sorts of things. I don't have many tattoos either. A dagger between my shoulder blades, and one more that people have tried to look really closely to say. I have a four-leaf clover, way up high on the inside of my left thigh. You have to be paying really close attention to see it when I'm dancing, as I have to spread my legs wiiide for you to be able to see it. Booze is the story behind both of those tattoos, but I love them anyways.

→ sides of me ≠ personality, three + paragraphs

→ retell the tale ≠ history, four + paragraphs

→ don’t tell a soul ≠ secrets (if any)

» p e r s o n a l . ii n f o r m a t ii o n «

→ i love ≠
Cigarettes - they cement my tough girl image, and..they keep me calm.
Beer - I've tried the fancy s**t, the expensive liquor, but I'll always prefer beer.
High heels - You want to see something impressive? Watch me move in a pair of eight inch heels. Ballerinas ain't got s**t on me; I can do things they wouldn't dream of in shoes way more uncomfortable than pointe shoes
Stripping - I am tits and a** and muscle. I've been stripping since I was seventeen, and I've been working at Hard Candy since I was eighteen. Poledancing is what I'm best at, but I've given my share of stripteases and lapdances.
Flirting - It's something I do. I love leaving people on their knees, begging me for more.
Dancing - I love all kinds of dancing. When I hear the right kind of music, I can't help but move to the beat. Take me to a club and watch me go.
Acting- It's a shame I've only ever been in front of a camera for a couple of pornos, because I used to be pretty good at acting. Maybe I still am..wouldn't know.

→ get away ≠ dislikes

→ shaking in my boots ≠ fears

→ getting power ≠ strengths

→ weak at the knees ≠ weaknesses

→ dance to the music ≠ Metric - Torture Me
Rilo Kiley - Portions for Foxes
Lillix - Dirty Sunshine

→ be an oracle ≠ Sex without love is just healthy exercise.
"Sorry, babe."
"Yeah, that ain't gonna fly with me."
"You think what I do is easy? Then try it; your entire body will be begging for mercy in about two minutes."

» c u r s e d . f o r . l ii f e «

→ are there any animals in here ≠ cursed form

→ fur, spots, stripes ≠ animal appearance, one + paragraph

» t h e . b ii g . m a n «

→ behind the mask ≠ C 4 r t 0 0 n M u f f i n

→ skittles, taste the rainbow ≠
B A B Y I'm B A D news..

[C 4 r t 0 0 n M u f f i n]

«x» ___ Elaine Brewer ___ «x»

» b a s ii c s . o f . l ii f e «

→ a. k. a. ≠ Please, I prefer to be called Ella. Elaine just sounds like such a dreadful name..and it is.

→ candles on a cake ≠ twenty

→ surprise day ≠ February 12th

→ I am . . . ≠ You know what? I'm not really sure. I've dated boys before, but now that I've thrown myself out of the nest, I almost want to..experiment.

→ work, work, work ≠ I'm a ballerina. I'm taking a year off 'for my health', but I still have to practice as much as possible so I don't get out of shape..or else I'll hurt myself when I go back to performing..

» d ii g ii n g . d e e p e r «

→ image in the mirror ≠ I often wonder where my looks came from. My mother and sister are tall, blonds with blue eyes and sleek looks. My father is taller, with brown hair and brown eyes. And then..there's me.

I am a distinctly petite individual. With my feet flat, I am 5'3, which always feels extremely short to me. I am generally at least two inches shorter than the other ballerinas I surround myself with..sometimes more. Obviously, I am taller when performing in a ballet en pointe, but..I'm still short. I'm extremely light too, only about 103lbs. I am skinny and slender as one might think out of a ballerina, with one cardinal difference. Though I have yet to figure out how I have kept my breasts with how little I eat, and how much I exercise..I did. I'm no more than a B, maybe a C, but I have to secure myself very carefully into costumes. A lot of them have to be custom-made specifically for my body too, which is...rather annoying at times. I have rather slender arms and legs, but you can tell that my legs are little more than muscle. I don't guess my legs are ugly though..

Where my mother and father were blond and brunette respectively, my hair is a shade of red. I think it rather looks like rust, but Aunt Felicity insists it's much prettier than rust. I keep my hair long, about waist-length, and it's rather wavy. My hair is always soft, and I like it when people run their fingers through it. I have clear, mossy green eyes, framed by thick eyelashes. My eyes are rather large, which gives me a pretty..cute appearance. I have a small nose and mouth as well. I think I inherited that from Aunt Felicity; I look more like her than my parents, though she's blond too.. I only have my ears pierced once, and usually wear nothing more in regards to earrings than simple studs or small hoops. Gaudy earrings get in the way.

When it comes to clothing, I enjoy ruffles and lace. My clothing always has a victorian twist to it, simply because I like the style. I look like I belong somewhere in the past, not the present. I am the only girl I know who wears corsets as a standard part of her wardrobe. Pants and jeans don't appeal to me at all; I have always worn skirts. Now that I'm older, I wear longer skirts, unless I want to make a statement. When I'm feeling oddly coy, I tend to wear pencil skirts that cling tightly to my hips and legs. They never go below my knee, and I like the somewhat slinky feeling they have. I wear gloves a lot, and my manner of dress, I suppose, could be considered vaguely conservative. At the same time, my frilly clothes do tend to make a statement in public. I don't enjoy showing much skin though; if my skirt only reaches my knees, I will have pantyhose on under that, without exception.

I guess I am a bit out-of-place in the world..

→ sides of me ≠
I'm a bit of an aquired taste. I can be charming, I can be incredibly haughty, and I can be downright neurotic. There's different sides to me, and who you are depends on which side you see.

I was raised to be a prim, proper young woman. I am exceedingly well-mannered, though my demure nature doesn't mean I am shy by any means. I am very expressive; I want people to know what I'm thinking, though most people don't actually care what I think about something. I'm not content to be feminine decoration; I want people to appreciate the fact that I can think for myself. I am intelligent; I didn't go to a traditional college because I chose not to; perhaps, when I can no longer dance professionaly, I'll go to school for..something. I don't appreciate it when people think I'm stupid, or God forbid, that I'm helpless. I am not helpless, I am not some porcelain doll meant to sit on a shelf until she gets old and dusty. It's just..one of those things that bothers me. I'm a pretty stubborn person by nature, and it's hard for me to hold my thoughts and opinions in.

I suppose it's no wonder that I'm so neurotic.

I am constantly on edge. I'm like a spring, coiled too tightly. Too much tension, and I will snap. I'm prone to panic attacks when I am pushed too hard. Don't get me wrong, I push myself to the absolute limit. But when people push me and I just can't live up to their expectations, it upsets me like nothing else. I suppose that's why I never can get along with my parents. I push and push, and I can never live up to their expectations anyways. It's rare for me to relax. The closest I ever come to relaxing is when I am practicing. When I have to focus on holding myself up, on keeping myself at enough of a distance from my partner during a pas de duex so that I won't transform..when I have to focus on my steps in ballet, I don't have to deal with the jumble of thoughts that usually hound me. I am good at pushing all of those thoughts of way in the face of something I find truly worthwhile.

When the opportunity arises, and I can feel comfortable around someone, my playful side comes out. I like to express myself, I like to tease and play. I can seem cold to most people, but deep-down, I'm not. I wouldn't necessarily call myself a 'nice' person, but..I have an empathetic side to me. If I think I can help someone, then I will try. Most of the time, I am not the best of helpers. But..I'm willing to try, and I tend to hope that's good enough. I'm not the most optimistic of people, but I don't automatically see the glass as half empty either. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm just wandering kind of aimlessly through life, even though I know I have more direction than quite a few people. I have something I love doing, I have something I am good at doing...

So why do I feel so lost?

→ retell the tale ≠
I am the second child of Amelia Rousseau and Nathaniel Brewer. Second-born, second-best, Teresa used to say.

Mama was a socialite, and a model. She was twenty-six when she married my father, budding businessman Nathan Brewer. She kept modeling until she was twenty-nine, and then she became pregnant. By the time my older sister Emma was born, Papa had reached his place at the top in the business world. His company had flourished, and they could lavish attention on my older sister like nothing else. She was a rather spoiled brat as such. Mama retired, and spend her days milling about society like the grand lady she was.

She became pregnant again when my sister was five, and a few months after she turned six, there I was, two months early. It was very..stressful for my parents, the time of my birth. They were concerned when I was born, because I was so small..but that wasn't the worst of it. The moment my father could hold me, I transformed, and their world turned upside down. I wasn't normal, I never would be, and..they couldn't stand it. I was thrust into the care of a nurse when I was just a baby, and that was the only world I ever knew. Complete isolation from my father, and nothing more than the occasional touch from my mother, the occasional delicately manicured hand brushing through rust-colored curls. I don't remember anything about my father during my childhood, and the only thing I remember about my mother is her hands.

I remember Teresa though.

My big sister was the one to taught me to talk. Her name was the first word I ever said, according to my aunt. She was also the one who delighted in telling me, from the time I was very small, what a freak I was. I turned into a bird when a boy hugged me. No one would ever love me. I was given whatever I wanted as a child, except my parents' love. They rejected what I was, and all of their love, their genuine affection, went to my older sister. I was isolated from them. Teresa teased me, insulted me, all because our parents told her what a strange creature I was. When I was at school, I stayed away from all the other children. I played by myself, away from the little girls who were spoiled by their parents' love. I wanted some kind of escape, something that I could excel in so that maybe, Mama and Papa would pay attention to me too.

I found my escape in ballet.

Mother put me into lessons as an afterthought, and I thought that perhaps this was something she wanted for me, something she thought I could be talented in. So, I worked hard. I worked and worked, I advanced faster than any of the other girls in class, I practiced more than any of them, all in the hopes that I could get approval. By the time I was eleven, I had already started having periods, and my feet had stopped growing. I was still ridiculously tiny, but my teacher said that would only help me. She started me into pointe a few months before I turned twelve, long before any of the other girls. I was thrilled. Surely my parents would be proud of me for going so much farther so much faster than anyone else.

I suppose they were, because they had an announcement for me on my thirteenth birthday. Mother and Father decided to send me to France as soon as I graduated from middle school, to live with my aunt in Paris. I was going to attend a ballet school. Aunt Felicity was a ballerina herself, and she had connections. I remember, when I heard that announcement, that I thought they were trying to get rid of me. They probably were. However, when I tried to question it, Mother simply asked me "Don't you want to make your Father and I happy?"

I moved to Paris that June.

Along with my ballet, I started studying various languages, all under my aunt's patient tutelage. It was she who took the time aside to teach me more advanced techniques. "French Ballet is about elegance and precision," she would often tell me, when my movements were not graceful enough for her liking. It was she who had to teach me how to balance myself when I was lifted off the ground, because if I fell into my male counterpart when lifted, my secret would be exposed. It worked far better than she had hoped, because no one ever found out about my curse. I was never fond of the pas de deux, though. Throughout my five years in France, I was consumed by the thoughts of practice more, work harder, succeed succeed succeed. My mind was a tightly coiled spring, ready to snap at the slightest pressure.

I had just turned twenty when I was given an important role in a ballet. Swan Lake..it was a risk, they knew, to have me dance as Odette and Odile, but Aunt Felicity insisted that I could do it. I barely ate during that time; if I was not sleeping, I was practicing. I was probably one of the youngest they had wanted to dance in the lead, and I was determined to succeed. The time before the first performance was stressful, and my nerves were wearing thin. I made it though. I made it through my first performance. And at the end, I had a surprise for me. My parents were there. I had only heard from them once, to tell me that my sister had married a fabulously wealthy businessman who was seven years older than her.


I didn't hear the words I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear congratulations, I wanted a pat on the shoulder from my father, a warm embrace from my mother. I had practiced, I had pushed myself to the brink, and I had succeeded. Instead, Mother asked me if I was ready to make a debut in society, back in New York. The ballet company there would surely take me, was what I thought. Mother's idea was an old-fashioned ball, in the hopes I could meet some wealthy man and marry him. I didn't immediately catch onto the fact that she didn't care if I never danced again. I was simply happy that my parents hadn't abandoned me in Paris.

I came back to New York City, and everything was at once a whirlwind of planning. A party, a ball, something I thought was completely old-fashioned. My sister had made a debut into society when she graduated from college, but since I had no desire to go to college, they started planning early. If nothing else, I would make a marvelous trophy wife..until I transformed. Those weeks were stressful, and I had no control over what was happening.

I realized just what my parents thought of what I truly enjoyed doing that night. It was an endless menagerie of snobby young women and arrogant young men, and I figured out exactly what my parents had planned for me. They didn't want me to go back to studying ballet, in New York or Paris. They wanted me to find security, a wealthy husband who I assumed would throw me away as soon as he realized what I really was. I told them I was going back to Paris, back to live with Aunt Felicity. They told me that if I expected not to be disinherited, I would do no such thing.

Disinherited? They had thrown me away when I was thirteen years old. They had given Aunt Felicity no money to help with my upbringing. They had given me no words of support, they had written me no letters even though I had wrote to them constantly. And just when I thought I could force myself off the ledge, Mama gave me an exasperated question. "Why can't you be like Teresa?"

Teresa? Teresa?! My perfect, tall, beautiful sister who had married into a cage? It was the mere mention of my older sister that made me snap for the first time in my life. I had held in all of the frustration, all of the pain, all to keep the guise of a well-mannered young woman..just in the hopes that my parents would accept me. I started screaming at my mother, screaming at my father, and when I was done, I ran up to my room, away from that stupid party where I had so thoroughly embarrassed my parents.

The next day, I was approached by someone who knew what I was. Cursed, a freak...but I wasn't alone. There were other people on my father's side of the family who were cursed as well. I was invited to Japan to attend a banquet. I was too worn out to question it; I merely agreed, and then I got on my plane back to Paris.

Now that I had finally broken down, I was having trouble concentrating. My nerves were worn far too thin, and the stress that was a performance was simply too much. So, when the ticket came to Aunt Felicity, she insisted that I go to Japan. I could take a year off, try to relax. She knew that I would keep myself in shape anyways; ballet was all I had, after all. She didn't want me to completely ruin my career by breaking down in the midst of a performance. I didn't want to go; I wanted to tell her that I could handle it, that I was strong enough to get by.

She forced me on the plane anyways.

→ don’t tell a soul ≠
Please don't tell anyone why I'm taking a break. Telling people you had a mental breakdown isn't exactly the most charming thing in the world.
People think I'm strange when they hear that I've never tried things that are normal to them. I'd never even had instant hot cocoa until very recently. So..please don't tell? Though, it isn't hard to figure out if you watch me closely enough..

» p e r s o n a l . ii n f o r m a t ii o n «

→ i love ≠
Ballet - It's what I've lived for since I was small. I have been practicing ballet since I was six years old...and I won't quit until my body forces me to.
Sweets - I don't let myself eat them often, but I especially love cupcakes and pastries..
Speaking other languages - I learned to speak French, Russian, and Japanese, and I am hoping I can learn German. I never actually expected Japanese to be useful, but French most definitely is for me..
Music - I like sitting in a quiet place and listening to music. I'm not fond of loud rock or anything like that..I suppose I'm accustomed to classical, so it's what I prefer.
Heights -I guess it's the bird side of me, but I love heights. I love the idea of flying.

→ get away ≠
Food - I am not a hearty eater. I'm just..not. I eat like a bird, which should be expected.
Misbehaving children - I do like children, but I was raised to be a distinctly well-mannered child. So children whose parents don't try to teach them manners just..get on my nerves a bit.
Teresa - I'm so tired of her shadow. My accomplishments mean nothing beside hers, even though she's done nothing worth mentioning besides being a floozy and landing herself in the position of 'trophy wife'.
Society - I was born and bred in high society. Sure, I enjoy being spoiled, but I don't want the balls, the rich, beautiful people..sometimes, I'd rather go be normal.
Crowds - I'm always worried about someone bowling me over in a crowded place.

→ shaking in my boots ≠
Breaking down - I'm always on edge. Sometimes, the coils in my mind will break if put under too much stress, and I'll just..snap. People don't know how to deal with me like this..even -I- don't know how to deal with me like this..it scares me.
Being injured dancing- Try telling a neurotic ballerina to break a leg as a way to wish me 'good luck'. I freak out like nothing else.
Dogs - They are big and mean, and I am tiny.
Drowning - I like the water sometimes, but I'm always afraid of drowning. I was that child with like three pairs of floaties on at the public pool..or I would have been if I'd ever gone to a public pool..
Tall people - This is completely irrational and I'm aware of that, but when you're barely five foot two, and you meet someone who's like..6'4, it's a little intimidating. I tend to just..deal with it though.

→ getting power ≠
ballet - What? It's what I do. You won't find many women my age who have worked that much harder than I have. I had to hit the top as fast as I could, in the hopes that I could get the attention I so desperately wanted.
problem-solving - I used to like doing crosswords, sudoku puzzles, and other such things. I don't play them as much anymore, but I'm pretty good at them.

→ weak at the knees ≠
Affection - I will melt at pats on the head, hugs, and other such simple displays of affection. I'm not used to such things, but I enjoy them thoroughly.
Mistakes - I hate when I make mistakes. I am a bit of a perfectionist so when I mess up, it's..very stressful for me.

→ dance to the music ≠
Debussy - Claire de Lune
Florence + The Machine - Cosmic Love
Queen - The Show Must Go On

→ be an oracle ≠ "You know, after everything, I'm still the ugly duckling."
"Huh? I'm sorry, I've never had that before..."
"I'm a bit sick of sugar plum fairies.."

» c u r s e d . f o r . l ii f e «

→ are there any animals in here ≠ Aquarius, which means I'm a pretty little s p a r r o w.

→ fur, spots, stripes ≠ I'm really small, and I'm kind of cute..for a bird. I'm a type of sparrow called a cinnamon sparrow. It's primarily found in Asian countries, which..kind of makes you wonder how I wound up being such a creature. I look out of place in New York and in France. I am really small; I only weigh a few ounces. The top half of my body is a kind of cinnamon brown color, while the underside of my body is ecru. The big difference between me and a cinnamon sparrow is that my eyes are the same moss green as they are in my human for. I really like hiding in trees in this form..until I transform, anyways.

» t h e . b ii g . m a n «

→ behind the mask ≠ C 4 r t 0 0 n M u f f i n

→ skittles, taste the rainbow ≠
The little S P A R R O W wanted to be a S W A N

[C 4 r t 0 0 n M u f f i n]

››› • LAST NAME, MIDDLE NAME, FIRST NAME • ‹‹‹

⇢⋅⋅ • It All Boils Down To This... • ⋅⋅⇠

››› • A.K.A. ₪ (Nicknames Here)

››› • Year By Year ₪ (Age)

››› • Blow Out The Candles! ₪ (Birthday)

››› • What's Down There? ₪ (Gender)

››› • Oo la la! ₪ (Sexuality)

››› • Wasting The Day ₪ (Occupation.)

››› • Home Sweet Home ₪ (Where do they live?)

⇢⋅⋅ • I Want To Know More • ⋅⋅⇠

››› • Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall... ₪ (Appearance. 3+ Paragraphs)

››› • Who Am I? ₪ (Personality. 3+ Paragraphs)

››› • This Is My Story ₪ (History. 4+ Paragraphs)

⇢⋅⋅ • My Little Tidbits • ⋅⋅⇠

››› • Awesome! ₪ (Likes, List Format.)

››› • Ewww~! Gross! ₪ (Dislikes, List Format.)

››› • N-No More! ₪ (Fears, List Format.)

››› • I Rock! ‡ (Strengths, List Format.)

››› • Can't Do It... ₪ (Weaknesses, List Format.)

››› • Please Don't Tell! ₪ (Secrets, if any.)

››› • Rock It Out ₪ (Theme Song(s).)

››› • One Last Thing! ₪ (Anything Else. [Optional])

⇢⋅⋅ • Pull My Strings • ⋅⋅⇠

››› • Rainbows ₪(Posting Colors)

››› • My Master ₪ (Your Username)

[C 4 r t 0 0 n M u f f i n]

S h e n L i a n
Experience is the name we give to our past mistakes..

And I will d/i/e all alone
xxxxxxAnd when I arrive I won’t know anyone
xxxxxxxxxxxDo I d i v i d e and fall apart
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxCause my b.r.i.g.h.t is too slight
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x TO HOLD BACK ALL MY DARK
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxThis ship went down in s i g h t of land
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxAnd at the g/a/t/e/s does Thomas

ASK TO SEE MY HANDS?

[ [ [ I f e e l EMOTION ] ] ]

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