My test thread. No posting, please.

[Ultimate Cyclops]

I try to hold on to a time when nothing mattered.
I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done.

I [ t e a r ] my h e a r t open.
namexxB r i t t n e e L o g a n

I [ s e w ] myself s h u t.
doingxxF i g h t i n g t h e B r o t h e r h o o d, a n d t h a t f u c k i n g J e a n G r e y

My [ w e a k n e s s] is that I c a r e too much.
locationxxA l c a t r a z

And my [ s c a r s] remember me that the p a s t is real.
lovexxB r i e l l e D r a k e, b u t s t i l l n o t o v e r K r i s t e n

I [ t e a r ] my heart open just to f e e l.
aliasxxW o l v e r i n e

✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖

Text looks like this.
"Speech looks like this."
Thoughts look like this.

✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖

I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassion's in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[align=left][size=10][color=tomato]I [b]try[/b] to hold on to a [u]time[/u] when [strike]nothing[/strike] mattered.
I [b]can't[/b] explain what [u]happened[/u]
And I can't [b]erase[/b] the [u]things[/u] that I've [strike]done[/strike].[/color][/size][/align]
[imgleft]http://i959.photobucket.com/albums/ae71/GaiaMarvel/Wolvie1-2.jpg[/imgleft][align=left]

[color=black] I [/color][color=darkorange][[/color][color=black] t e a r [/color][color=darkorange]][/color][color=black] my[/color][color=darkorange][b] h e a r t [/b][/color][color=black]open.[/color]
[size=8][color=tomato]name[/color][color=white]xx[/color][/size][size=9][color=black]B r i t t n e e L o g a n[/color] [/size]

[color=black] I [/color][color=darkorange][[/color] [color=black] s e w [/color] [color=darkorange]][/color][color=black] myself[/color][color=darkorange][b] s h u t[b][/color][color=black].[/color]
[size=8][color=tomato]doing[/color][color=white]xx[/color][/size][size=9][color=black]F i g h t i n g t h e B r o t h e r h o o d [/size]

[color=black] My[/color] [color=darkorange][[/color][color=black] w e a k n e s s[/color][color=darkorange]][/color][color=black] is that I[/color] [color=darkorange][b] c a r e [/b][/color][color=black] too much.[/color]
[size=8][color=tomato]location[/color][color=white]xx[/color][/size][size=9][color=black]A l c a t r a z [/color][/size]

[color=black] And my [color=darkorange][[/color][color=black] s c a r s[/color][color=darkorange]][/color][color=black] remember me that the [/color] [color=darkorange][b]p a s t[/b][color=black] is real.[/color]
[size=8][color=tomato]love[/color][color=white]xx[/color][/size][size=9][color=black]B r i e l l e D r a k e, b u t s t i l l n o t o v e r K r i s t e n[/color][/size][/align]
[color=black] I [/color][color=darkorange][[/color][color=black] t e a r [/color][color=darkorange]][/color][color=black] my heart open just to[/color][color=darkorange][b] f e e l[/b][/color][color=black].[/color]
[size=8][color=tomato]alias[/color][color=white]xx[/color][/size][size=9][color=black]W o l v e r i n e[/color][/size]






[align=center][img]http://i959.photobucket.com/albums/ae71/GaiaMarvel/Wolverine.jpg[/img][/align]
[align=center][size=12][b][color=black]✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖[/color][/b][/size][/align]

[imgright]http://i959.photobucket.com/albums/ae71/GaiaMarvel/Wolvie2-2.jpg[/imgright][align=center][size=10][color=chocolate]
Text looks like this.[/color]
[color=orangered][b]"Speech looks like this."[/b][/color]
[color=orange][i]Thoughts look like this.[/i][/color][/align]



[align=center][size=12][b][color=black]✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖[/color][/b][/size][/align]
[align=center][img]http://i959.photobucket.com/albums/ae71/GaiaMarvel/Logan1.jpg[/img][img]http://i959.photobucket.com/albums/ae71/GaiaMarvel/Misunderstood.jpg[/img][img]http://i959.photobucket.com/albums/ae71/GaiaMarvel/ThePast.jpg[/img]

[size=10]I saw you going [u]down[/u]
But you never [i]realized[/i]
That you're [b]drowning[/b] in the [i]water[/i]
So I [u]offered[/u] you my hand
Compassion's in my [u]nature[/u]
[u]Tonight is our [b]last stand[/b][/u][/size][/align]

[Ultimate Cyclops]

I try to hold on to a time when nothing mattered.
I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done.

I [ t e a r ] my h e a r t open.
namexxB r i t t n e e L o g a n

I [ s e w ] myself s h u t.
doingxxF i g h t i n g t h e B r o t h e r h o o d

My [ w e a k n e s s] is that I c a r e too much.
locationxxA l c a t r a z

And my [ s c a r s] remember me that the p a s t is real.
lovexxB r i e l l e D r a k e, b u t s t i l l n o t o v e r K r i s t e n

I [ t e a r ] my heart open just to f e e l.
aliasxxW o l v e r i n e

✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖

For the past year, it had been Logan barking the orders and making sure the X-Men were prepared for anything and everything. It had been Logan that had scooped the X-Men up after Jean’s death, after Cyclops abandoned them with nothing but a speech and a tearful goodbye. She couldn’t say she blamed the woman; it had to have been tough losing someone that dangerously close to you. But losing a lover or not, Kristen was held in a high position and had betrayed them all when she up and left them to fend for themselves. It probably didn’t feel that way to the older ones; Orin, Kitty, Karin, Reine, Piotr. But to the younger mutants who didn’t quite understand what their leader was going through, it hurt them. It had taken months to get everything running as smooth as possible without the charismatic, fearless then-twenty-two year old. Sure, Xavier had managed to explain to some of them, even got help from the recruits, but it was still a tough job and a job that Logan wasn’t one hundred percent ready for. Her time as the leader of the X-Men had made her appreciate Kristen a hell of a lot more, though she wouldn’t admit it. Hell, she even held Jean in a higher respect because of it. There was nothing in the world that could make this job easy.

While the entire duty as a leader was exhausting, even frustrating at times, the hardest part was re-training ShadowCat after Cyclops reinitiated her into X-Men despite her disability. Wolverine was more than glad that Kitty had been able to join the team, that Kristen had taken the initiative to show the mutants that she had faith in the younger brunette despite her inability to see. It was obvious, at least to Brittnee Logan, that Sparks loved that kid. From the moment Katherine had come to the mansion, Kristen had taken her under her protective wing, showed her everything she needed to be shown, took special care with her in the Danger Room, and even proved to a best friend to the half-pint. And if anyone had been more devastated than Katherine Pryde—make that Alvers—when she first lost her sight, it had been Cyclops. As always, the optic blast-shooting mutant had blamed herself, and had punished herself both directly and indirectly for the accident. There were several times when Logan had wanted to step in and comfort her leader, but Jean was always there first. That’s how it always was.

Now, one year after Jean’s death, Logan was once again pushed to the back burner. However, not as far back this time as she had taken Jean’s place as the second in command of the X-Men. For Kristen’s sake, however, Wolverine wished that she was still at the bottom, fighting for the sunglass-wearing mutant’s attention beneath the redhead that was now the Phoenix. The clawed mutant always knew that Jean was a little unscrewed in the head, always knew that one day something would set her crazy a** off, but she never imagined that it would be like this. She had thought maybe a few cars would be thrown about, maybe a broken adamantium bone or two—despite that they were so called “indestructible”—but she never imagined that chaos that had ensued after Jean—no, Phoenix—emerged from Alkali Lake the day the Professor had requested that Kristen come back. The Professor had known, he had felt it, but he didn’t go himself. No, he sent Logan to find the younger brunette who had barricaded herself in a studio apartment in Paris, France and then proceeded to encourage Cyclops to go to Alkali Lake. And that was only the first in a series of several irreversible mistakes, some that were being made right before her eyes.

Kristen, what the hell are you doing?! Are you insane?! she mentally screamed at the leader of the X-Men who was stumbling over herself just to get within an arms length of the monster she was still stupid enough to call her fiancé. Sometimes Logan felt that Cyclops needed a good, adamantium fist to the side of her head, and this was one of those times. It was only a matter of moments then before the younger brunette was flying through the air, and in the next second there was another body behind her—a body that shattered into a million glassy pieces. The next thing she knew, Logan had to dive to the ground in order to avoid being hit by a familiar red blast that cut through the dark night and stuck out like a sore thumb. She jumped back to her feet, making a quick dash in the direction she’d seen the blast come from and as she approached she could hear voices, and one of them was angry. Miranda and Kristen were arguing, or rather Miranda was yelling and Kristen was letting it happen. She hadn’t ever known Kristen to take it like a b***h, she’d always known her to stand up for herself but she wasn’t doing it this time. She was practically pleading and it disgusted Wolverine. But before she could step in and separate the two, a gigantic lightshow of pinkish red light tore through the sky. She didn’t know if anyone else could tell the difference between the blasts—being that Logan had managed to log in her memory the shape and width of each blast so that she could easily decipher between an optic blast and Miranda’s energy blasts. She ducked under an overhung piece of concrete until the light dissipated, but then her attention was grabbed by three of Magneto’s bastards who were trying to sneak up on her. They hadn’t even come into her view yet and her keen senses had brought their presence to her attention. With an arrogant smirk, Logan stayed crouched and as if she didn’t notice them; she wasn’t afraid to play their game. When they advanced on her from behind Wolverine swung around and let her claws shoot out with a distinct shnkt, shoving them up into the abdomen of one of the mutants.

”Nice try. Better luck next time,” she grunted, throwing him off to the side and letting his body fall off her adamantium blades. The other two jumped on her at the same time and she twisted her body around in a full circle, tossing them off of her and into the debris scattered about her. One of the mutants charged at her, trying to catch her off guard only to find himself impaled chest-first on her claws that she’d so nicely stuck out for him. She balled her hand into a fist, slamming it against his face to get him off her blades and then turned to face the last guy. He had a grin on his face, completely unfazed that she’d just killed his two buddies. He threw his fist at her in one swift motion, almost catching her in the face but not quite. She grabbed his hand before he could and proceeded to tear her claws through his torso. His grin widened then, and her jaw dropped to the ground when he began to regenerate himself despite her would-be fatal attack.

”You’ve got to be kidding me,” Logan groaned, and without any time of fair warning her other hand shot up to his neck, impaling him through the throat before she ripped her arm to the side, beheading him, ”I hate when they do that.”

When she was able to look back up at her surroundings, she noticed that Cyclops was at it again. Even after being thrown halfway across the island, she was approaching the Phoenix. Again. When would this girl learn? Logan stepped over the dead bodies of the three Brotherhood members and made her way closer to Kristen. She wasn’t going to do this alone, she couldn’t. No matter how hard Kristen wanted to believe that she could, there was no way that one woman was going to bring the Phoenix down from her reign of terror alone. She made her way over to the leader of the X-Men, grabbing her by the area under her left arm, ”Get up.”

She pulled the other woman to her feet, ”I’m not letting you do this without me, bub.”

She would have continued her sentence, would have insulted the sunglass-wearing mutant about her stupidity, but her hypersensitive eardrums picked up on something. Something that she hadn’t really expected, and probably wouldn’t have believed she had heard if she hadn’t looked up just in time to see a crack in the Phoenix’s hard, cold expression. Kitten. Something bad must have happened to Kitty. Logan didn’t know what, and though she wanted to see if the younger mutant was okay, they were too close to Jean to turn around now. What she did know was that whatever had happened had put a temporary stop on the Phoenix, and that only meant one thing. If something happened to Kristen…maybe they could break the hold that Phoenix had on the Jean Grey that they knew. But first, she had to try something else. She needed to see if her words could get through to the other woman. But she wasn’t going to voice them, because she didn’t want Kristen to hear. Instead, she closed her eyes and focused her thoughts, hoping she could catch the Phoenix’s attention. Jean, if you can hear me, come out of this. Fight back. Kristen needs you. You’re the only person who’s ever made her happy, you’re the only one she’s ever needed or wanted and without you she’s dying out here. I know we aren’t on good terms, but don’t ignore Kristen because we hate each other’s guts. She needs you Jean.

And she prayed to the Gods that it worked, because her only other course of action would be devastating to everyone. This was Logan’s last stand.

✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖

I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassion's in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Ultimate Cyclops]

How could I say goodbye,
when all I could ever do was cry?
Did heaven really need another hero?

I still can't believe you're gone,
and I'm sure the view from heaven
beats the hell out of mine down here.

I woke from a dream last night...

Kristen watched her leather-clad comrade dart off after the massive mutant plowing through everything in his path. He was much bigger than Kitty—than Kristen, even—and probably a hell of a lot stronger, but she did not doubt the younger brunette in the least bit. Kitty had always been the most capable, no matter if she had slipped up every now and then. Before she had went blind, Kristen had to admit that she favored ShadowCat over the other students and trainees, and had spent a considerable amount of time helping the ghost girl out. That wasn’t to say she didn’t care about or think the other students were just as capable, it was that Katherine was like a sister to her. In fact, before Miranda had come to the mansion over two years ago, Kitty was the only “sister” she knew and to be completely honest, she still was. Havok was blood, her twin even, but that didn’t mean anything. The things that her identical sibling had done were awful, and Kristen wasn’t finding the idea of forgiving her easy. Kristen and Miranda Sparks took sibling rivalry to a whole new level, one that had resulted in Havok’s incapacitation.

Cyclops had a growing ache in her stomach, doubtlessly her guilt for sending Kitty off by herself on a job that she should have been doing herself—or at least, going in with her. Then again, if Kristen was going to one day pass leadership to the younger mutant, she had to make sure that ShadowCat was capable didn’t she? She hadn’t thought about that in a while. In years, really. Back before Kitty’s accident, despite how young the both of them were, it had always been in the back of Kristen’s mind that if something were to happen to her—or to Jean, as she would automatically become the leader if Cyclops were to fall—she would need a replacement. Of course, when she had resigned from the X-Men on what would have been she and Jean’s wedding day she had named Logan as the new leader of the X-Men but that had been because Kitty was in no shape to lead the team of unruly mutants. There was also Orin, who was more than capable, but it just didn’t sit with her. If someone had to take her place, it would definitely be Kitty. And if this didn’t work, if her attempts to lure Jean from the Phoenix failed, Kristen would officially disconnect herself from Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters and consequently leave the group of mutants that lived to protect the ones that feared and hated them. And this time, she wouldn’t be coming back.

Kristen took a few steps toward the body of her identical twin to finally check whether the other mutant was still breathing or not. She knelt down onto one knee, wincing as it seemed to pull every muscle in her body. She took the limp wrist into her hand, checking the pulse—and thankfully, she had one. It was weak, but she’d live. She bit her bottom lip as she straightened her body back up, letting out a pained grunt. The aftermath of the battle hurt more than the actual battle had, and she was starting to wish she kept those strong painkillers Jean used to give her packed away in her suit for occasions such as this. Never mind that, though, because she had a job to do—and again she felt the guilt. She had led Kitty to believe that she was finished trying, finished with her attempts to rouse her fiancé out of the darkness. There was no way she would be able to do that, no way she would be able to give up until she was dead. The sad part was that dying was the more likely option, but the youngest Sparks was known for her stubborn nature. This was no different.

She side-stepped over Miranda’s unconscious body, looked around the chaotic battlefield that had once been the island housing Alcatraz, the notorious prison. On the bright side, the Brotherhood’s forces seemed to be growing thinner. Not by much, but just that thought was encouraging to Cyclops. Her X-Men probably wouldn’t understand, might would even feel hopeless. But if there was one thing that her team had over Magneto’s, it was that the X-Men were trained to outlive and outlast, to survive in the worst conditions. They were fighters, and wouldn’t back down even in the worst case scenario. That was why that even when their leader was absent, they were still standing strong and fighting the good fight. Xavier would be proud. She was proud. Even when all odds were against them Storm, Beast, ShadowCat, Wolverine, Nightcrawler, Colossus, Ice Girl, Rogue, Gambit and all her other mutants were giving the Brotherhood a run for their money. And while they held off the forces of Magneto’s army, Kristen had someone else to tend to.

And like last time, it didn’t take the twenty-three year old very long to spot the twenty-four year old. She hadn’t moved that much, still standing high on her podium made of wreckage that she had been on before she’d tossed Cyclops into the wind. Sucking in a deep, painful breath into her aching lungs she took a step forward and then another and another until she could strut without too much pain in her athletic legs. Her back was stinging again and she assumed it was because she had scraped the wounds inflicted on her during her…run-in with the Phoenix in the mansion’s infirmary on the sharp rocks of the ground. It wasn’t an unbearable pain, but it was an annoyance amongst all the other stabbing, burning and prickling sensations taking over her body. She found herself seeking out the redhead once again, stumbling over debris and climbing over hills of scrap metal and concrete just to get within yelling distance of the destructive woman. Once she’d managed to overcome a rather large fort made of twisted barbed wire, chain link fence and blown up chunks of brick wall—not without several scrapes, scratches and more than a few stabs from the wire—she fell onto her knees and let out a long string of coughs, some of which contained blood.

”Get up,” she heard the familiar, husky voice come behind her as a hand slipped under her left arm and pulled her up. A shrill hiss of pain scraped out of her throat as she fell against the lean but semi-muscular body beside her, ”I’m not letting you do this without me, bub.”

Kristen gave her new second in command a half smile, deeply appreciating the effort Wolverine was showing to help her out, despite how much she knew the clawed mutant hated Jean. Then again, she didn’t know for sure if that was truly how the other woman felt, seeing how she had acted at the telepath’s funeral. But that was an issue for another time. Right now, it was time to save her fiancé, the fiancé that should have been her wife right now. She nodded firmly, putting an injured arm around the shoulders of the older woman as Logan’s snaked around her waist and held her up so that they could continue onward.

...I dreamt that you were by my side.

The ache I feel inside
Is where the life has left your eyes
I'm alone for our last goodbye
But you're free

[Ultimate Cyclops]

How could I say goodbye,
when all I could ever do was cry?
Did heaven really need another hero?

I still can't believe you're gone,
and I'm sure the view from heaven
beats the hell out of mine down here.

Logan was so surprised to get an answer back—and from Jean for that matter—that it startled her. She stopped in her tracks for a brief moment, taking that short pause to look up at the red-clad woman before them and took notice to the expressions on her face. She had gotten through to Jean but it hadn’t been enough, she had managed to sense the change and knew that Phoenix was back in control now. Her lips, which had been pressed in a fine line before, now curled down into a frown; it was time for plan B. Her temporary stop had caught Kristen’s attention and Logan looked over at her just in time to catch the younger brunette’s eyebrows raising questioningly but Wolverine shook her head, ”It’s nothing. Come on.”

If only it really was “nothing”. If only she wasn’t about to commit the unthinkable. If only she wasn’t about to sacrifice the life of the woman who had stolen her heart many years ago and still held most of it captive despite Logan’s growing love for Ice Girl. If only Jean had been strong enough to take complete control back. It was a horrible thing, that it was going to take the ultimate sacrifice in order to stop the Phoenix’s reign of chaos—a sacrifice that would truly hit the X-Men hard. She wasn’t sure if the team would ever forgive her, and she wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t. Kristen Sparks, Cyclops, Leader of the X-Men, was a very important person to everyone fighting against the Brotherhood tonight and her death would impact every single one of them as a team, if not completely personally. But if it meant that she could stop the Phoenix, if it meant she could spare the lives of the mutants and—grudgingly—the people on this island, Wolverine was ready to take the heat for killing Cyclops.

As they stepped closer and closer to the telepathic monster standing at the top of the debris mound, Kristen could feel an invisible force pushing against her like the winds of a hurricane with thousands of razor blades whipping around in it. She could feel cuts tearing into the exposed flesh of her arms, her face, her neck but the pain caused by those tiny rips in her skin were nothing compared to the intense pounding that was beating the left side of her head senseless. She lost her footing, the violent throbbing immobilizing her for a few moments and Logan had to hold her tightly around her mid section to keep her on her feet. A few more steps and her eyes were starting to blur, her ability to distinguish between colors seeming to diminish with each hammering that her head took. She retracted her arm from around Logan’s shoulders, instead bringing her newly freed hand up to the side of her head that felt like it could explode at any second. Waves of nausea came crashing down on her, threatening to double her over but she took hold of Wolverine’s arm with her unoccupied hand in order to stabilize herself. What was happening to her? Why was her body seeming to lose its function? Walking was becoming a heavier task than it should have been, even thinking was becoming a hard process. And to top it all off, she could feel a deep pressure rising in her optics. That didn’t even make sense to her. Her sunglasses were on, the ruby quartz was holding back the devastating blast—so why was the pressure building, and why were her eyes beginning to glow despite the specialized accessory that rested on the bridge of her nose?

”Logan…wait. I…I don’t feel…what’s wrong with—“ she was cut off by a severe surge of nausea that knocked her down to one knee and sent her into a fit of dry heaves. Her body jerked forward with each heave, and even when the heaving stopped she continued to gag for another moment or two. The last gag shifted into a coughing frenzy that ended with several instances of blood coming up from somewhere in her body. It also didn’t help that with every cough came another slam to her head and it brought the nausea back each time. But she couldn’t stay down, she needed to get up, she needed to keep fighting. Somewhere, deep down, she knew that Jean was depending on her and she wasn’t going to get anywhere down on her knees. With the help of Logan, Kristen stood back up and steadied herself.

But it was then that she noticed that while she was only receiving minor cuts and gashes from the telepathic force that Phoenix was emitting, bits and pieces of Logan’s skin was flaking and disappearing into the air. Of course, it was quickly healing back only to be ripped off again and the cycle continued.

”Logan, your skin—“ she felt a shove on her lower back, forcing her to walk faster despite the fact that her legs felt like they were going to melt underneath the weight of her body at any second.

”Shut up and keep walking, don’t worry about me I’ll be fine. Jean needs you,” Logan demanded, giving the younger woman another shove before letting go of her completely. They were within a few feet distance now, and the time was coming. If she was going to attempt to reach out to the monstrous redhead, now was her chance. She closed the space between them with a quick stride, dropping down to her leather-covered knees in front of the raging telekinetic mutant, throwing her arms around the woman’s torso. She held onto her tightly, constricting her from moving as she pleaded quietly for the woman to stop, that what she wasn’t doing wasn’t worth it. Her arms seemed to tighten around the twenty-four year old’s body with each plea.

”I love you, Jean,” she cried, burying her face against the gut of the Phoenix, ”Come back to me, baby, please.”

Logan watched in silence as Kristen begged the monster to stop, to put an end to all of this because it wasn’t worth the outcome. But the entire time, Wolverine’s mind was elsewhere, prepping her for the inevitable. She didn’t have much longer, couldn’t let Kristen continue to degrade herself to the emotionless b***h for much longer—because sooner or later the Phoenix would put a stop to it and Logan couldn’t risk that happening. Too much was at stake, too many lives on the line. How ironic though, that she had to sacrifice one to save a dozen or so more. But she was an X-Men, and she had been taught to outlive and outlast, and if killing their leader was what ensured that policy, Logan had to do it. I gave you the chance, Red, and you didn’t take it. I guess it’s going to have to take something devastating to pull you out. Well here you go, here’s your chance.

The shnkt of her claws ripping out of her flesh and leather went unheard amongst the chaos. The pain throughout her body, the flaking skin and the burning, it didn’t faze her anymore. The only pain she felt was the one gripping her heart as she drew her hand back and thrust it forward—penetrating Kristen’s lower back and slicing all the way through until they ripped out of her abdomen.

Cyclops’ body lurched forward when the blades tore through her body, forcing out a strangled “no”, followed by a groan of immense pain. She convulsed, unable to stay perfectly still even as she moved her body back to see just exactly what had happened. And when she saw the adamantium claws that had made their way through her body and had barely missed stabbing into the Phoenix as well, she felt a deep sense of betrayal flood through her. Her teammate, her comrade, her second in command had stabbed her. She’d always thought it was a myth when people said your life flashed before your eyes right before you died, but she was learned right then that that wasn’t the case. But it wasn’t her entire life, it was just her life with Jean—a time in her life when everything was more or less perfect. A time she’d wished would have lasted forever. The first image was when she walked through the doors of Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, when the bald man introduced her to a beautiful, shy redhead. Then there was a fourteen year old Cyclops sitting on a bench in the yard of the institute, her head in her hands as she sobbed and Jean had her arms wrapped tightly around her, whispering quiet reassurances into her ears. The next, the locker rooms by the Danger Room when Jean had wedged herself between Kristen and the sink, where the brunette proceeded to ask the older mutant to be her girlfriend. The fourth, Jean’s fingers replaced her sunglasses, letting them linger on her face as Kristen pulled her into their very first kiss. Fifth, the series of spins and circles that the optic blast-shooting mutant put a stop to in order to confess her love, which was so readily returned. And the sixth, a tuxedo-clad leader of the X-Men holding herself up above a beautiful dress-wearing Jean Grey on Kristen’s bed, and then of the two of them waking up naked and snuggling. And then, a young Katherine Pryde coming to the mansion and greeted by Kristen and Jean, followed by Kristen starting up a Danger Room session with just herself and ShadowCat. Progressing to a few years down the road, a sobbing Cyclops standing by the window in Kitty’s hospital room, turning around and letting out a strangled, “I’m so sorry”. Then, Kristen down on one knee, proposing to the love of her life. Kitty’s wedding, calling Katherine her sister in front of everyone, and then the wave taking Jean’s life while Kristen struggled against her arm restraints that were Wolverine and Storm as she kicked as screamed for them to let go. Her tear-filled speech to the X-Men, her departure to France, and then her reunion with…Phoenix on Alkali Lake. And then now.

Logan turned her head away from the bleeding body, unable to look at Kristen nor the Phoenix. Her jaw clenched tightly, her eyes welling with tears as she squeezed them shut. And as much as she tried, as much as she struggled to hold it in, Wolverine couldn’t stop the sob that escaped her mouth as she pulled the three knifes from her leader’s back, ”I’m sorry, Kristen.”

Kristen’s body fell forward, collapsing completely against that of the Phoenix. The blood from her abdomen was gushing at a ridiculous pace, a puddle starting to form around her knees as a thin streak of the hot, red liquid found its way out of the corner of her mouth. She tried to speak but her words were strangled and wet, trapped in her throat by a weakening body and a gathering of blood in her mouth. She choked on it, coughing and spitting as much of it as she could before her eyes started to flutter closed and her tight embrace around the redhead became more and more lose until finally her arms fell limp at her sides and her body started to fall backwards.

I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassion's in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Ultimate Cyclops]

I try to hold on to a time when nothing mattered.
I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done.

I [ t e a r ] my h e a r t open.
namexxB r i t t n e e L o g a n

I [ s e w ] myself s h u t.
doingxxF i g h t i n g t h e B r o t h e r h o o d

My [ w e a k n e s s] is that I c a r e too much.
locationxxA l c a t r a z

And my [ s c a r s] remember me that the p a s t is real.
lovexxB r i e l l e D r a k e, b u t s t i l l n o t o v e r K r i s t e n

I [ t e a r ] my heart open just to f e e l.
aliasxxW o l v e r i n e

✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖

If there had ever been a day—an entire week-worse than this, Logan would have loved to see it. In one week, all hell had been let loose and that was damn near a literal statement. In seven days, the lives of the X-Men had drastically changed, be it permanent or only temporary. Logan had been forced to stab the woman who had held her heart in order to shatter the hold that the Phoenix had on Jean Grey, a hold that Jean was too pathetic and weak to break free from with devastating motivation. Kristen, if she ever emerged from the coma caused by Phoenix, would more than likely be forever scarred by the reign of chaos of the monster that had inhabited her fiancé’s body. Kitty had miscarried a child no one even knew about during the final part of the battle, as she was saving Leech from Juggernaut under Cyclops’ orders. Logan had half a mind to blame the leader of the X-Men, because in actuality it was her fault. She shouldn’t have sent Shadow Cat in to retrieve the kid, she should have done it herself. But she was so stubborn, so persistent and downright stupid that she chose to pursue the Phoenix instead.

Wolverine, despite everything, was partially content with the way everything had ended. Her betrayal of her leader, which she herself would be recovering from for a long time, had managed to do exactly what she had intended it to do. The hiccup that Phoenix had let pass at the moment of Kitty’s miscarriage gave Logan a very clear idea of what she needed to do. The unexpected attack had thrown Jean back in control, obliterating Magneto’s army into mere dust particles and managing to carefully piece Euphoria Solstice back together in a matter of seconds. The rest was mostly a blur; getting Jean’s unconscious body onto the jet while Euphoria fought desperately to revive Cyclops with Kitty by her side, her “injury” not yet known. They were able to bring Kristen back to life, but she was unstable and within moments she had gone completely comatose—the brain trauma had been too much. Everyone else had been able to make it make to the mansion, save for the professor, with wounds much deeper than they appeared to be on the surface. If there was anything she was sure about right now, it was that the X-Men would not recover from this for a long time. They were strong and capable, but they weren’t invincible, not untouchable, and they learned that in the hardest way possible.

After their return, Kitty had been rushed into testing for the bleeding she was experiencing. It took an hour or so, but with no one else around to be there, Logan stayed in the infirmary room while they awaited the results; and Wolverine couldn’t believe it. Their little Kitty, her half-pint, had been pregnant—and lost the baby. And even harder to believe was the sudden ache and sympathy that the clawed mutant had felt for the younger brunette. It was strange, as if she knew what it felt like to have something ripped from you like that. Of course, she’d had several things happen like that but this feeling was different, as if she knew what it was like to lose a kid. But she’d shrugged it off, blaming it on her natural “woman” instincts and stayed with the Pryde of the X-Men until the ghost girl decided she wanted to go see Kristen.

And here she was, standing in front of the door to Kristen’s room in the medical ward of the Xavier Mansion, arms crossed tightly over her chest. Kitty had gone in almost fifteen minutes before, and Logan had promised to wait outside. Unfortunately, she hadn’t realized she would be standing in the hallway with the woman who had caused all of this s**t in the first place—Jean. Every now and then, her brown gaze would drift over the redhead, watching her stare into the window of Kristen’s room as if just looking at her would bring her out of the coma. Logan couldn’t stand it, what right did this woman think she had anymore? She was the very reason that Kristen was stuck in a hospital bed connected to a dozen different machines and with a strip of duct-tape like material, specially made with ruby quartz to prevent accidents in the event that she woke up. But the older mutant chose to stay uncharacteristically passive, only because she knew it would stress Kitty out if she knew that Jean and she were fighting again, especially with what was going on.

But after several minutes of complete silence, Logan found it hard to keep her mouth shut when Jean turned away from the window and started approaching the door. There was no way in hell that she was going to let that b***h in the room with their leader. No. Way. In. Hell.

”What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she snapped, holding her ground in front of the electronic door, ”If you think you’re getting in there, bub, you’re horribly mistaken.”

She shoved her hand against the younger woman’s shoulder, pushing her back a few inches before she started a tirade that she had previously wanted to avoid. But now that she was confronted with the issue of Jean seeing the other mutant, she couldn’t contain her strong words, ”Do you really think I’m going to let you in there after what you’ve done? This is all your fault Jean, all your fault. It’s your fault she’s in there, your fault she can’t even ******** breathe on her own. It’s your fault that we don’t even know if she’ll make it through the night, much less if she’ll ever wake up from the coma if she does manage to make it through.”

She had to resist the urge to bring out her claws, to drive the woman away completely. But she figured that her words would be more than enough to drive her away, or at least make her feel the same hurt that everyone else was feeling, if not worse. She deserved it, that was for sure, and Logan was going to seal it with one last, harsh line, ”Does it hurt, Jean? Knowing you’ve probably killed your fiancé?”

✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖

I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassion's in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Ultimate Cyclops]

[__ L e a d e r__o f__ t h e__ X - M e n__]
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
T h e__n a m e__i s__K R I S T E N __S P A R K S__
B u t__y o u__c a n__c a l l__m e__C Y C L O P S__

[ I ' m__b y__y o u r__s i d e ,__I__w o n ' t__b a c k__d o w n.__]

Kristen waited until the door shut behind Jean before she turned around to go back to her own room. Her current choice in attire wasn’t exactly something someone should wear out with their best friend—much less the girl with a connection to her like Jean Grey. With that said, she marched right back into her assigned dormitory and shut—and locked—the door behind her. She stripped off the lounging clothes that she had put on after her shower and took the few steps forward to her closet. Her eyes scanned over all the articles hanging up on the bars, narrowing them behind her ruby quartz sunglasses. For some reason, she felt like dressing up in something feminine, but she didn’t have that many options. Most of her outfits were rather masculine, even if they were actual female clothing. Luckily, she had a few pieces of clothing that, put together, would suit just fine. So she plucked said items from the small space and tossed them out onto her bed. She pulled on a pair of socks before going over to the bed and putting on the outfit that she picked out. She walked into the bathroom, dumping her lounge cloths on top of the laundry bin to safe for when she got back. Instead of throwing her hair up into a ponytail like she generally did when going out this late, she took enough time to blow dry it into it’s natural, wavy style.


As she fixed herself up, she couldn’t keep her mind from wandering off to the accident. She hated that it had happened, hated that she screwed up once again. Of course, she hadn’t meant for it to happen, but she should have been more careful when she approached the male football player, she just hadn’t thought about the consequences. All that was going through her mind was stopping him from hurting the weird, pick pocketing teen—because that was her job. And while she was upset about the beam having hit the blond male, there was a little bit of guilty satisfaction coming into play. Duncan was always flirting with Jean. Sure, Kristen and Jean weren’t a couple, but they did have feelings for each other, and strong ones at that! The only reason they weren’t together was because of what their ignorant peers would say and both of them were in rather…popular positions at school with Jean being a soccer star and Kristen being the quarterback of the girl’s football team. But that didn’t mean that Kristen didn’t get jealous or protective over the redhead. When Duncan was involved, she was constantly getting that strong pang in her chest and she could never understand why, because she knew for a fact that Jean wasn’t attracted to Duncan. In fact, she was pretty sure that she was just as appalled by him as Kristen was. Maybe it was because Matthews was a guy, because he could openly flirt with the radiant, beautiful soccer player and not get either of them ridiculed for it. Yeah. That was definitely it.


She smiled once she was satisfied with how it looked and set the blow dryer and the hairbrush down. She switched off all the lights and went back out into the bedroom. She figured she ought to give Jean a few more minutes to get ready, seeing as how she always took twice or triple the amount of time that it took Kristen to get ready. In an odd way, that was one of the things that she found adorable about her fellow mutant. She was so neat and picky with a lot of stuff, and Cyclops thought it was one of the cutest things, especially when it came to projects. She and Jean had most of the same classes so they partnered up on a lot of their projects and group assignments and when they could, they avoided having others in their group simply so that they could work at the institute instead of in a public place. Jean was always so picky with the placement of the letters and other objects of the poster boards and such, and she was always so neat that she never let Kristen do anything involving glitter or glue, seeing as how Cyclops managed to get it everywhere. Not to mention it was always in Jean’s room, and apparently the telepath didn’t like her floor sparkling.


After a few more minutes Kristen finally got off of her bed and fixed her jacket. She went over to her chest of drawers and opened one of the drawers to pluck out her wallet. She checked to make sure she had enough money to last them through anything and everything they decided to do—after all, it was a Friday night and as far as she knew, the professor didn’t have anything planned for them to do. She stuffed the money holder into the back pocket of her jeans and then grabbed her car keys before leaving her room. She walked down the hall to Jean’s room, who still had yet to come out of her room. Cyclops let out a soft laugh, knocking her left hand against the wooden door and shouted, ”Hey, hurry up! Don’t make me blast this door down!”

[__ T h e y__k n o c k__y o u__d o w n ,__I ' l l__p i c k__y o u__u p .__T h e y__l a u g h__a t__y o u ,__I ' l l__s h u t__t h e m__u p.__]

[Ultimate Cyclops]

How could I say goodbye,
when all I could ever do was cry?
Did heaven really need another hero?

I still can't believe you're gone,
and I'm sure the view from heaven
beats the hell out of mine down here.

I woke from a dream last night...

Kristen was definitely not somewhere she wanted to be. She could feel the cold ice surrounding her body, biting at her newly-exposed arms and hands. Her legs were near about freezing, lying in the water that was dangerously low in temperature. She couldn’t feel her visor on her eyes, which was expected seeing as how she’d carelessly tossed it away when she had shot the massive tidal wave to get it away from her wife-to-be. It had worked; she had managed to get both herself and her fiancé out of the path of absolute destruction and had prevented the sacrifice of the other woman. Though, her valiant efforts had proved to be too much for the brunette—the duration and the raw power of her optic blast had knocked her out. No matter how much she trained it, no matter how much she had fought to stay conscious, after a blast like that it wasn’t possible. She didn’t do it often because of that reason, but sometimes it was absolutely necessary. Thankfully though, both the professor and Jean had trained her when she was still a teenager how to endure a longer blast before it exhausted her too much. When her abilities had first surfaced, a blast lasting longer than six seconds was sure to have her out like a light for at least a half hour. She could still hear the concern in the professor’s voice when he instructed her that while she needed to look out for her teammates, she couldn’t ignore herself. He had stressed to her that if she was incapacitated, how was she supposed to help her team? But she figured this time was appropriate. She wasn’t saving a team, she was saving a woman—the woman of her dreams, the love of her life—and that energy-zapping blast had been more than worth it.

In the distance, Kristen could hear her name being called. But her head was so foggy that she didn’t know if it was really in the distance or if she was still coming into consciousness to the point where she sounded like she was meters away when really, she was right by her side. But that question was answered when she heard the footsteps quickly approached her and then the sudden thud that sent several flecks of snow raining into her face. The sudden movement of the top part of her body, and Jean’s soft pleas for her to “come on” and to “open her eyes” was enough to break the last bits of unconsciousness into tiny pieces, allowing her to finally take control of her body. Her eyes moved beneath her eyelids right before she squeezed them tightly, her body shifting a bit in the other woman’s lap before she finally opened her would-be fatal optics. Just like her dream self had told her, the dream world was still holding the light show at bay, the reddish pink light was glowing around her eyes and obstructing any kind of view anyone had of the blue orbs behind it. A smile spread over her beaten, young features as all the previous flaws of her body—the scrapes, cuts, and other miscellaneous wounds—reformed on her skin, but she didn’t much care. Jean was alive, and that was all that mattered.

”Hey gorgeous,” she said, her voice strained as if she had an extremely dry—or extremely sore—throat. She had done it. It worked. She’d saved her.

She spent the next few moments staring up at the telepath, admiring what she had missed for so long. Those beautiful hazel eyes, the thin pink lips, the recently-cut, short red hair. At first, Kristen had missed the length of her fiancé’s hair when she first got it styled, but she had warmed up to it rather quickly. And she had shown that by constantly playing with it and running her tanned fingers through it—and that’s exactly what she did now. She reached up painlessly despite the wounds on her arm that should have made that impossible, her digits brushing some of the red strands from her lover’s face and pushing them behind her ear. She pressed her free hand against the snowy ground; lifting her body up as much as she could before her other one gently cupped Jean’s cheek as she raised her lips to those of her better half. The positioning was slightly awkward, but interesting to say the least. She’d never kissed her upside down before—or at least this was close to upside down. Her full lips caressed and massaged over the thin ones of the older mutant, moving against them in the most tender and loving way as she could manage in her condition. When the kiss finally ended, Kristen had to fight back the tears as she pulled away and rolled onto her side, back into the snow and off Jean’s lap. She pushed herself off the ground with her arms, unable to stop a coughing fit tickling the back of her throat as she tried to get back on her feet. The following string of coughs saw several small splatter of warm blood falling into the soft, white blanket covering the ground. She grit her teeth, sucking in a deep breath as she stood up and pulled the redhead with her. She gave her a don’t-worry-about-me look as she slipped an arm around the other woman’s shoulders, and then gave her a weak smile, ”Let’s get out of here.”

She made her way towards the X-Jet that was waiting for them a few meters away. But as they made their way up the ramp, the interior of the jet distorted and morphed back into the jungle-like area she had been in before she was let back onto Alkali Lake. She made a face, her eyebrows knitting together as she glanced around the vast amount of trees and other things. How the hell did they end up back here? She’d already saved Jean, wasn’t it time to go home now?

”You saved her,” the voice of her dream self spoke as if on cue, her form fading in in front of them with a smile across her lips, ”I guess we can send you back now. Your job here is done; we’ve got no reason to keep you.”

The mostly-transparent version of her slightly younger self then turned her attention to Jean, a sort of sadness playing in her features even though she still had the smile on her face, ”Take care of her this time, Jean.”

And before Kristen could even begin to reply, to even thank her other self for giving her that chance, the area around them dissolved and her body began to ache so badly that it pushed her down to her knees, as if all the cuts, bruises and other things she’d gotten were suddenly hitting her with their best shot. And then it was over.

Cyclops’ eyes shot open, but were once again blinded by a specialized blindfold-like object. She immediately felt frustrated—she couldn’t believe this. She was stuck again, but this time she could feel pain and it hurt like a b***h. It took a moment, but when everything registered—everything that had just happened, she panicked. Why wasn’t Jean with her? She’d just saved her, so where the hell was she? The machine covering her mouth was quickly removed by her aching hand, the mask easily tossed to the ground, ”Where’s Jean?! Get this thing off my eyes, I can’t see anything! Where the hell is my fiancé?!”

...I dreamt that you were by my side.

The ache I feel inside
Is where the life has left your eyes
I'm alone for our last goodbye
But you're free

[Ultimate Cyclops]

You're in my head,
You are the one.
I need you in my life.

You are my light in the dark
You are the beating in my heart
We were always meant to be.

Baby you're all that I want...

Kristen’s heart rate started falling back into a normal pace as soon as Jean spoke. Even before the second word left the love of her life’s mouth, she knew it was who she wanted—needed—by her side. She let out a soft, relieved sigh when the hand was placed on her cheek, and a smile grew over her lips after she felt Jean’s on her own. It felt like forever since she had that kind of soft, gentle connection with the other mutant when of course it had only be a few days. When “Jean” had first come back on the bank of Alkali Lake, it felt exactly as it had before the telepath sacrificed herself for her team—for their team. There had been no desire, no lust, just the same love that they had shared for the nearly 8 years they had been together. It was like the monster hadn’t taken over her yet, as if Jean had held it at bay for that time being just so they’d have that brief time together before the chaos began.

The chaos. Kristen’s body tensed then as Jean questioned her about what had happened. It sounded like her fiancé, sounded like the woman she had fallen in love with, but was it really? Her muscles tightened noticeably under the telekinetic mutant’s touch as her mind raced through everything that had happened since the Phoenix’s rise at the lake. They’d kissed—made out, even—on the bank of the very body of water that her lover had perished in a year ago. She’d made her take off her glasses, though she’d had no idea of the corrective surgery that had taken place a month or so before her death. How she had gotten from the lake to the infirmary had been a complete blur, but she’d woken up without the woman of her dreams by herself and she’d panicked. She went searching the medical ward only to be stopped by the Professor who was going in to see Jean. He’d insisted that she stay out, and had proceeded to lock her out once she proved difficult for him to convince. But as soon as he had left, Kristen snuck into her room as the professor more than likely anticipated she would. But what she found laying on the medical table was not her fiancé—though, she hadn’t realized that at first. They had talked briefly before Phoenix decided it was time for a quick [******** she did not throw that term around lightly—before destroying the damn city. And after that, Kristen spent the next few hours out cold on the floor of the infirmary with Kitty watching over her. How embarrassing that had been, waking up to find that she’d been left naked in the room and she didn’t doubt more than a few students had seen her that way. She had no choice but to suck up the humiliation, and had proceeded to brief her X-Men on what she knew was going on. Of course, she hadn’t known the extent of it yet.

A lot more had went down, including Kristen following the Phoenix out into the woods with Magneto. She had been horrified at what the over-powered telepath could do, and had tried to slip away unnoticed. Like everything else, though, it didn’t go to plan and she’d gotten throw around a bit by Magneto—not that she wasn’t used to that by now. Afterwards, she’d found out what had happened to the professor, a fact that had hit her like a ton of bricks. Her teacher, her father, dead, and she hadn’t been there to protect him—just like she hadn’t been there for Kitty, for Jean, for Euphoria. Everything seemed to go in fast forward from there, all the way until they landed on Alcatraz Island in the battle began. They had left the mansion with as much confidence as such a shattered team could, only to end up devastated within minutes of the fight. Kristen’s attempts at luring Jean from the Phoenix had failed and thus resulted in the death of one of Cyclops’ closest friends and the reversal of the surgery they had worked so hard on. She’d fought with Miranda, a fight she wished she had never had to participate in and almost killed her twin sister. And then there was Kitty, the girl she’d trained from the moment she stepped foot in the mansion. She had utilized everything Kristen had ever taught her, she’d made the leader of the X-Men proud. Her little sister had grown up, that was for sure. And then there was the final steps of the battle, at least that she could remember; she had approached the Phoenix again but to no avail. Lastly, there was the reason for the bandages that she could feel wrapped around her stomach. She couldn’t understand for the life of her why Wolverine had stabbed her, at least not then…but now it was slowly coming to light. Before she’d gotten impaled on the adamantium claws, the Phoenix had gotten a softer look, had turned her attention away from them and off towards the building she’d sent Kitty into. She’d muttered something that Kristen couldn’t hear, but Wolverine undoubtedly could. Maybe Logan had stabbed her to save Jean? It made since, and it was probably why her fiancé was by her bedside and not dead or destroying things.

That said, she finally let her muscles relax and let out a soft breath through her nose. She bit her bottom lip, suddenly glad that she couldn’t actually see the love of her life as she tilted her head in her direction. That way, it was easier for her lie and get away with it. She couldn’t tell the redhead what really happened, she couldn’t. It would devastate her, and she didn’t want her better half to go through that kind of pain. All the options of what she could say ran through her mind rather quickly but she was able to piece together what she thought would be a pretty decent lie, or at least one that would satisfy the question for now until she could think of something better. She was thankful for that quick excuse, too, because she could feel her body becoming exhausted again and she felt woozy and disoriented, as if she was going to pass out, ”Yeah…there was…a big fight between us and the Brotherhood, and the humans…found a cure from another mutant and tried to use it against us. It pissed Magneto off and he flew off his handle. Obviously it didn’t go to well, but…well, we did our best.

She shifted her weight over onto her shoulder so that she could turned to completely face the older woman despite the fact that she couldn’t see her because of the tape on her eyes. She was pretty sure the next thing she would be asked was how she got all her wounds, why she had a specialized tape over her eyes instead of sunglasses or a visor. She wasn’t all that sure, but she had a feeling it had something to do with the newfound pressure that had been building in her optics before she had been stabbed, probably had to do with what was making her eyes glow and threaten to release despite the sunglasses. Maybe the damage that the Phoenix had done to her and somehow altered her blasts? She didn’t know, but she did need an excuse, because if she was silent any longer, the other woman would undoubtedly become suspicious. She forced a small smile, a smile that could have easily carried a hint of guilt as she spoke, her hand motioning to her body, ”And I got all this from Miranda. There was a fight between us, and it got really messy.”

Her head rolled to the side a little, losing partial control over it as her body once again threatened her with unconsciousness. But this time, the threat wasn’t empty and she couldn’t hold it at bay any longer. Even as she opened her mouth and started talking again, trying to put some reinforcement on her lie she’d just spilled, her words trailed off as the droning and steady beeps and chimes of the hospital equipment lulled her into a dreamless sleep, her body moving slightly toward Jean as her muscles relaxed.

...when you're lying here in my arms.

Even if I don't know where to start,
even if my love is tearing me apart,
I just know that you and me,
we were always meant to be.

[Ultimate Cyclops]

Text Looks Like This.
"Speech Looks Like This"
Thoughts Look Like This.

I walk a lonely road.
The only one that I have ever known.
Don't know where it goes,
but it's home to me and I walk alone.

I walk this empty street,
on the Boulevard of broken dreams.
Where the city sleeps,
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

Read between the lines of what's
******** up and everything's all right.
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive,
and I walk alone.

[img]http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e213/sohma_estate/Icons/NameWol.jpg[/img] [img]http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e213/sohma_estate/Icons/xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.jpg[/img] [img]http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e213/sohma_estate/Icons/xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.jpg[/img] [img]http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e213/sohma_estate/Icons/xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.jpg[/img] [img]http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e213/sohma_estate/Icons/xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.jpg[/img] [img]http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e213/sohma_estate/Icons/xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.jpg[/img] [img]http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e213/sohma_estate/Icons/xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.jpg[/img]
[img]http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e213/sohma_estate/Icons/linebr.png[/img][img]http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e213/sohma_estate/Icons/linebr.png[/img]


[imgleft]http://i959.photobucket.com/albums/ae71/GaiaMarvel/Logan.jpg[/imgleft][size=10][color=black]Text Looks Like This.[/color]
[color=darkred][b]"Speech Looks Like This"[/b][/color]
[color=chocolate][i]Thoughts Look Like This.[/i][/color][align=center] [/align][/size]




[align=center][img]http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e213/sohma_estate/Icons/xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.jpg[/img][img]http://i959.photobucket.com/albums/ae71/GaiaMarvel/shanem8.png[/img][img]http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e213/sohma_estate/Icons/xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.jpg[/img][img]http://i959.photobucket.com/albums/ae71/GaiaMarvel/icon-4.jpg[/img][img]http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e213/sohma_estate/Icons/xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.jpg[/img][img]http://i959.photobucket.com/albums/ae71/GaiaMarvel/01ew4.png[/img][img]http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e213/sohma_estate/Icons/xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.jpg[/img][/align]

[align=left][size=10][b]I[/b] walk a [i]lonely[/i] road.
The only one that [b]I[/b] have ever known.
Don't know where it goes,
but it's home to [b]me[/b] and [b]I[/b] walk [i]alone[/i].[/size][/align][center][size=10][b]I[/b] walk this [i]empty[/i] street,
on the Boulevard of [i]broken[/i] dreams.
Where the city sleeps,
and [b]I'm[/b] the only one and [b]I[/b] walk [i]alone[/i][/size][/center][align=right][size=10]Read between the lines of what's
******** up and everything's all right.
Check [b]my[/b] vital signs to know [b]I'm[/b] still alive,
and [b]I[/b] walk [i]alone[/i].[/size][/align]

[Ultimate Cyclops]

Logan held onto the handle bars of her silver and red motorcycle, casting her gaze down from the road and onto the few dials resting directly behind the headlight. Her tank was nearing empty already and she could have sworn that she had just filled it up a few hours before. She let out a long, irritated groan through the matching helmet, deciding it would probably be best to pull over and fill up before she found herself stranded in the damn country side. It wasn’t like being in this neck of the woods bothered her or anything, she just preferred to have her bike in a condition that she could get it out safely. She’d already had to replace her method of transportation twice—she wasn’t about to make that three times. Just her luck, she knew there was a small market store a few minutes away and they had a working gas pump.

So, after that minute or two and the store came into sight, Wolverine grudgingly exited off her chosen path and dropped into the very small lot of the cabin building so conveniently named “Market”. She pulled up to the pump, switching off the bike and throwing her leg over it, climbing off. Pulling off her helmet and setting it down on the seat, she fixed the cowboy hat she had been wearing under it and straightened it on her head. She opened the gas tank, doing the necessary things to the machine before putting the nozzle into her bike. She filled it up with the appropriate amount and put everything away, shutting the tank before she stuffed the keys into her pocket and made her way up to the store. All that riding on the thin, dirt road had made her throat dry and she was in serious need of a drink—though, be assumed that downing an entire bottle of beer and then getting back on her bike would draw suspicion. With a roll of her eyes she opened the glass doors of the small convenience store and stalked inside.

Almost immediately, the main headline on the city newspaper caught her attention in its stand near the front counter. She raised an eyebrow, walking over to where the paper was kept and the clerk looked up at her, watching her carefully as if she was some kind of hood rat looking for trouble. She smirked underneath the cover her hat provided, reaching out and nabbing one of the newspapers. Her eyes scanned over the big, bolded black letters again: Explosion At High School—Students escape serious injuries in freak accident.

Her eyebrows knitting together and her eyes narrowing she let out a sound similar to a mix between a low groan and a sigh before muttering, ”Trouble at home.”

”You want that paper?” the elderly man behind the counter asked, looking up from his book that he hadn’t really seemed all that interested in. She wrinkled the thin, grey sheets in her hand as she approached the counter.

”That’s why I’m holding it, bub,” she replied huskily, opening the paper in front of her as she tilted her hat up to better see the man with her brown orbs, ”Bottle of water, too. Cold.”

”This is some warm weather we’re havin’ for this time a’year,” the old man spoke with a slight southern drawl. Logan didn’t much care for the small talk, so she didn’t reply to him. Instead, she dug a twenty and a ten dollar bill from her pocket and laid them down on the counter. That was more than enough to pay for the bottle of water, the paper and the gas she’d just put in her bike. When she heard the glass bottle being sat down before her she was quick to snatch it up and before the old man could figure out what was going on she had managed to swipe out her claws, cut the top clean off of the bottle, and was already chugging it down even as the discarded top fell before the white-haired man’s face. The cool liquid felt really nice slipping down her throat as she was somewhat glad she’d chosen water over beer. Sure, she liked the stuff but this was hitting the spot better than alcohol could at that moment.

She sat the bottle down on the table and tipped her hat towards the man without a smile, ”Recycle that, will ya?”

And before the man had time to respond, Logan had turned around and was already walking out the door. She went up to her bike, pulling the helmet back over her head before she climbed back on it and started it up—and drove away. She needed to get back to the mansion and find out just what exactly had happened, she was sure they knew.

I walk a lonely road.
The only one that I have ever known.
Don't know where it goes,
but it's home to me and I walk alone.

I walk this empty street,
on the Boulevard of broken dreams.
Where the city sleeps,
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

Read between the lines of what's
******** up and everything's all right.
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive,
and I walk alone.

[Ultimate Cyclops]

[K][R][I][S][T][E][N]
[S][P][A][R][K][S]

L e a d e r__o f__T h e__X - M e n__________________I__a m__C Y C L O P S

[ ”S t a y__a w a y__f r o m__m y__g i r l” ]

What Kristen felt when she heard those three, powerful words was indescribable. Her breath caught in her throat, her heart skipped a beat—though she could have sworn she felt more than one beat missed—and an unstoppable smile took over her mouth seconds before Jean conquered the smile for control of her lips. She tilted her head the opposite way as her hands fell from that beautiful face and onto her trim waist. One muscular arm wrapped around the telepath almost completely as the other trailed up her jacket-covered back and rested on the back of her neck. Her fingers found themselves gently playing in the deep red locks as she used her other arm to pull the older teenager closer to her. She let her lips caress those of the other mutant deeply and much more passionately than she felt she ever had before. Her tongue played in between the redhead’s parted lips but didn’t trespass as it usually did, instead choosing to tease and lure the other pink muscle out of its own cave and into her territory.

Jean Grey loved her, Logan be damned. All those nights that Kristen spent huddled in her room with the covers over her head, silently cursing herself were all for nothing. All the s**t Logan had ever said to her, telling her that Jean wasn’t ever going to fall for her, that she was simply an experiment for the telepath and that she would more than likely be left for one of the male mutants—all of it had just been a ploy to get her to break up with her second in command. Not that she hadn’t expected that was all it would be; at the time it was just pretty upsetting and unnerving. She had started falling for Jean a month or two after they had gotten together and the mere idea of being left for something else—especially a guy—had her in a depression. She had even stepped up in her masculinity just to try to prevent what Logan said was coming. But all her insecurities and doubts of anything even slightly involving herself and Jean melted away when those three words were returned. And that wasn’t all; she could feel people looking at them and not once did the thought of flipping them off cross her mind. It didn’t even break her smile that had stayed on her face even as she pulled away from the kiss.

She slipped both of her arms around her fellow mutant then, the strong limbs wrapping themselves just underneath her breasts. Her leg slid between Jean’s, careful not to knock either of them off of their feet as she moved their bodies closer to one another. There were so many things running through her head right then, so much that she wanted to say, to express to the girl standing against her. She felt that any further words would ruin the moment that they had both shared, as if even the slightest whisper could shatter those three words into a million pieces. She preferred the comfortable silence lingering between them, free of loud-mouthed children screaming about two girl’s kissing and jocky males pulling a move on her girl. Cyclops was perfectly content feeling her girlfriend’s chest push against and away from her as she breathed, perfectly content feeling the hot breath against her skin, perfectly content holding the sixteen year old in her arms. At that moment, there was nothing more that the leader of the X-Men could possibly ask for; she had it all. There was no one that meant more to her than Jean Grey, the girl who had always been there for her when she was upset, had always boosted her back up when her self-esteem was feeling particularly low, who always had her back, the one that never let her down. Everything was perfect.

Or it will be when you do what you came here to do! her internal voice reminded her, forcefully making her realize that she was still in New York City and not in the Land of Jean and Kristen. She had originally taken the opportunity for this date for a specific reason. Of course, it was still a month or two away but she had absolutely no way of knowing whether or not she would have been allowed to take Jean out again before that point in time. So, she had decided that tonight would be the perfect night to spring it on her, that way one, no one else had the chance to do it before she did and two, it was much nicer asking while out a date than it was sitting in her bedroom watching a movie or making out. But she was painfully away that asking this question meant more than what it seemed. Because if the answer was what she was hoping it was, it also meant that they would be outing themselves to the entire student body at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. Kristen had thought long and hard about it, and had decided that if Jean was ready to do it, then so was she.

That said, Kristen untangled her arms from around the redhead and took her hands again instead. She carefully maneuvered the two of them backwards on the ice until the brunette felt the railing against her lower back. With a grin, Cyclops lifted the telekinetic mutant’s hands up towards her face, pressing the two pale appendages together so that they formed a small, oddly shaped ball before she gently pressed her lips against the cloth that was covering them.

”Miss Grey,” her smile widened as she guided her older girlfriend’s hands down to her own waist, persuading the other mutant’s arms to wrap around her as she leaned in and gave her fellow mutant another soft kiss on the lips, ”Will you do me the honor of allowing me to take you to the prom?"

[Ultimate Cyclops]

You're in my head,
You are the one.
I need you in my life.

You are my light in the dark
You are the beating in my heart
We were always meant to be.

Baby you're all that I want...

Kristen could not understand for the life of her how she ended up back in the heavy jungle. This time there was a dense fog lying over the floor of the forest, tinted red by the ruby quartz sunglasses that had somehow found their way back on her face. She was alone again, her redheaded companion no longer at her side. She twisted her body around in a few complete circles, her eyes searching desperately for a sign of anyone, only to be disappointed with her fingers—or rather, lack thereof. The only sounds around her were the rocks shifting and grinding beneath her leather boots, and to be honest it was a little unnerving. It wasn’t that she was scared or that she couldn’t handle herself, she was just injured and did not want to be left alone. She needed Jean to be embracing her, not a thick layer of low-lying clouds. She was tired of this, of wondering aimlessly through randomly generated areas projected by some unknown source. Whoever was behind it probably thought they had a great sense of humor. Well, she would love to tell them otherwise. She much preferred lying in her hospital bed with her fiancé by her side over this.

Luckily, her wish seemed to be coming true as the world around her began to dissolve. Something was disrupting the force that insisted on drawing up strange terrains that definitely were not geographically correct. She was supposed to be in New York, not the ******** Amazon! Once the jungle had faded away, she stood in nothing but pitch blackness. The fog got heavier by the second, damn near suffocating her before her surroundings began to shift and change. But this time, she wasn’t placed in one location. It was like she was being dragged through every single place she had been the past week without any way to break free from the invisible hand that was pulling her. It was as if someone was tampering with whatever was causing the illusions that she was trapped in. Kristen didn’t know how long her journey lasted, but it was much longer than she would have liked. It left her exhausted, leaving her sprawled out on the ground with a body that did not want to move. She lied there, staring up at an empty sky until her eyes finally fluttered closed beneath their protective shades.

When they opened again, she was once again in darkness. At least, though, she could hear the humming and tweeting of various medical equipment that assured her that she was once again in her hospital bed, safely in New York. A small sigh of relief escaped her lips, her head relaxing against the rather uncomfortable pillow resting at its side. She let her body fall backwards, her back pressing into the infirmary’s mattress. It was then that she noticed her hand was free—and she didn’t feel Jean near her at all. Pushing her body up into a sitting position, her head turned as if she could actually see what she was looking at. Where was Jean?

”Jean?” she called, her voice low and ragged like some invisible force was strangling her. Her eyebrows knitted together, annoyed, as she cleared her throat and tried again, ”Baby, where are you?”

And that was when she heard it, the soft crying from somewhere off to her side. She didn’t know the layout of this particular room, so she wasn’t able to figure out if it was just the leftover wooziness making the sobs sound distant, or if they were actually coming from a little ways away from her. Either way, she recognized that distressed sound anywhere—somewhere in the room, Jean was crying. Without thinking, Kristen tore the loose sheet off of her body and practically jumped—as best as someone in her condition could—and stumbled over to where the sounds were coming from. She winced and sucked in a sharp breath at the tearing underneath the skin where her IVs were stuck into her as they ripped out of her body. She ignored as the several, newly-opened wounds began to create trails of blood down her tanned arms and legs, dropping onto her knees in front of her lover, or at least what she assumed was in front. Her hands reached out, groping around to find figure out what exactly she was looking at. As she felt around with no result, she began to get visibly frustrated with herself, with the stupid material covering her eyes. Finally her fingers brushed against something which she quickly identified as Jean’s shins. Further investigation of her fiancé’s legs let her know that she wasn’t in front of the telepath but beside her, and Kristen took no time leaning in and wrapping her sore, wounded limbs around the slender body of the love of her life. She buried her face in the long, deep red locks and held onto the other woman tightly.

It didn’t take Cyclops very long to piece together why the other woman was crying. She had been asleep, her mind was going through all her memories, all her thoughts of the past week and now that she was awake and her brain was functioning for the real world, she knew exactly what had been happening. The one time that Kristen didn’t want the other mutant to look into her mind, she actually went through and did it. And now the brunette had no doubt that she was looking at the aftermath of what those thoughts had brought onto the telekinetic mutant. The younger girl drew her bottom lip into her mouth, chewing on it lightly as she tried to think of the right thing to say. What could she say? All those time she had been there for Jean in the past, it all came naturally…but now…now was different. This was worse than anything that had happened in the past, and Kristen wasn’t sure what to do. The leader of the X-Men was stumped, but she couldn’t just sit there and listen—feel—her wife-to-be crying and not do anything about it.

”Shh, baby,” she whispered into her ear softly, embracing the older woman tighter and not even caring that she, herself, was in pain. She kissed the side, the top and the back of the telepath’s head before nuzzling her face against her fellow mutant’s neck, ”It’s over now...everything is going to be okay Jean. Everything will be okay, I promise. Please don’t cry baby, please.”

...when you're lying here in my arms.

Even if I don't know where to start,
even if my love is tearing me apart,
I just know that you and me,
we were always meant to be.

[Ultimate Cyclops]

You're in my head,
You are the one.
I need you in my life.

You are my light in the dark
You are the beating in my heart
We were always meant to be.

Baby you're all that I want...

Her body involuntarily tensed up when Jean shoved her away and stood up, and the leader of the X-Men wanted to slap herself. That was her future wife, not Phoenix, so why was she still tensing, still afraid that something was going to happen every time the older woman touched her? Kristen was taken aback when she was told to get back into bed, that Jean needed to think. Part of her understood; the telepath had just read her thoughts, memories, and thus witnessed everything that had happened during the time she was gone. It was a lot to reflect on, to take in and understand especially with the things that she—no, not her; Phoenix—had done. But then again, the other part of her didn’t understand. It was over and done, it couldn’t be fixed. They had already been separated long enough, so why was Jean insisting on making that longer by leaving her alone in the infirmary? Either way, Cyclops was not about to have that, oh no. She didn’t want to leave Jean alone, especially not to reflect. There was no telling what the telepath would do, and Kristen didn’t want her beating herself up over something that wasn’t even her fault. So, the brunette disobeyed the order that she go back to bed. That was definitely not about to happen, her injuries be damned.

Cyclops pushed herself up off the ground and stabilized herself against the wall that Jean had been leaning on. A hiss of pain scraped out of her throat, the wounds on her abdomen not very fond of her movements as she tried to straighten herself up completely. She put her tanned hand over the bandages that covered them, feeling a warm stickiness touch her hand that was undoubtedly fresh blood, more than likely caused by her abrupt exit of the hospital bed. But she sucked it up, like always. She was an X-Man, the leader at that, and she couldn’t let a couple blades through her body stop her from chasing after the woman she loved. She took an uneasy step forward, her arms outstretched in front of her, trying to feel around so that she didn’t hit anything as she made her way out the door. However, so much for that. Her arms completely ignored her unspoken pleas to help her find her way, and let her forehead collide with the doorframe. A noise sounding much like a mix between a sigh, groan and a swear word escaped her lips as she put her hands against it and forced her body away. Now she knew how Kitty had felt, unable see and unable to move without being afraid of bumping into something. She turned her body slightly to the left, reaching out and waving her hand to make sure she had found the opening, and once assured she stepped through it and into the hallway. And then she felt the rough, heavy hand touch her bare shoulder and cringed.

”Where do you think you’re going? You’re not supposed to be up. Look at you,” the husky, that somewhat feminine voice spoke. She knew just by the touch who it was, but the voice confirmed any smidgen of doubt she might have had.

”None of your ******** business, Logan, get out of my way,” Yeah, it was irrational, but she was in a hurry and she was frustrated. She couldn’t see, her body ached, and she just wanted to be with Jean. Could Logan honestly blame her?

”Euphoria’s upstairs, and she didn’t say you could leave. Get back in there, bub,”

”Euphoria’s not in charge of me, and neither are you. I can leave if I want,” Cyclops grabbed Wolverine’s hand and threw it off her shoulder, pushing passed the older mutant and half-limping down the hallway.

”Are you really going to chase after her after all she’s done? “

The words made Kristen stop in her tracks, and if she had known where exact Logan was at that very moment she would have punched her clean across the face. She turned around, clenching her hands into tight fists, her words narrowly escaping through grit teeth, ”You know damn well that wasn’t her. The woman I love would have never been able to do something like that.”

”Maybe the woman you love isn’t the woman you think she is.”

”Shut up Logan! I know Jean better than I know my own ******** self. If you want to blame someone, blame the God damn professor! This is his fault, not Jean’s!” and with that, the leader of the X-Men swung her fist as hard as she could in hopes that she would actually hit something—and it did. She wasn’t sure what, but the fact that her knuckles hit something hard and the grunt that came from her fellow mutant let her know that she’d at least gotten somewhere. She didn’t wait for the older brunette to speak again, or to retaliate before she turned back on her heels and marched forward. Though her journey was cut short when the front of her body slammed right into the cold, tile wall of the infirmary’s hallway, enticing an angered shout from the younger mutant.

”God dammit!” she screamed, her fingers immediately finding their way up to the duct tape-like material covering her eyes, the strip that was rendering her blind. Logan shouted a protest from behind her, and before she knew it she felt those adamantium arms wrapping around her torso and holding her arms in place at her sides. Kristen thrashed around despite the pain in all of her limbs, in her abdomen, and spouted off several obscenities at the clawed mutant who was not letting go. Why couldn’t she just leave her alone? Why couldn’t she see that all Cyclops wanted was to be near her fiancé and to be out of this ******** medical ward?!

”You can’t take that off, Kristen. It’s dangerous,” Logan warned, but Kristen wasn’t buying it. If it was dangerous, a stupid piece of tape was not going to stop anything. Nothing could stop “dangerous” but her sunglasses and her visor.

”Get the ******** off of me!” she slammed her elbow against the gut of the woman behind her, forcing her to let go and knocking her backwards. She took that brief amount of time to dig her nails underneath the adhesive strip, tearing it off of her eyes with a sharp breath of pain. But when she opened her eyes, she immediately found what Wolverine had said to be true. A large sack of bricks slammed into the side of her head as the massive and powerful red beam of energy tore from her eyes and ripping through the air, knocking her sunglasses that had been underneath the tape right off her face. She heard tile, stone and some other unnamed things being destroyed, even heard a few small explosions all before she was able to shut her eyes. But by the time her eyelids closed and her psionic barrier fell over her optic blast, it had already exhausted her body in just those few seconds. She fell onto her knees, screaming from the intense stabbing inside her skull. Why hadn’t her shades stopped that? Why had it drained her so quickly? And why the hell was her head hurting just like the migraines she had had before her optometrist discovered that ruby quartz stopped them? It was like she had uncovered her mutant ability all over again, only much worse this time. She bent over, straining her wounds as her forehead pressed against the cold floor, her hands holding onto the sides of her head as if they were the only things keeping it in place.

”What’s wrong with me?” she cried to no one in particular as bright blue, glowing tears streamed from the corners of her eyes and down her cheeks, splattering one by one on the white tile.

...when you're lying here in my arms.

Even if I don't know where to start,
even if my love is tearing me apart,
I just know that you and me,
we were always meant to be.