Let me test some sh** out..NO looking

[Nanari Uchiha]

Word: [********]
Part of speech: adjective


Definition: To be unavoidably bangable


2nd Word: bangable
Part of speech: adjective


Definition: To be unavoidably [********]

Used in a sentence: This giant neon sign of sexy is the definition of a fine bangable b***h who‘s [********] in all the right ways.


3rd word phrase: Giant neon sign of sexy
Part of speech: noun


Definition: Two words….



♔ＴＨＥ «ჟ» ♔


See, now wasn’t that easy? Wasn’t that all peachy and great, and all around un-bitchably translatable for even the most senile of human beings who can’t differentiate their right from their left? He wasn’t sure what the problem was, what it inferred or how two worlds had the ability to crash in the most confusing of ways, but J had to hand it to Chunghee - practically had to tip his hat off to the man who was really playing a game J was plying till the very end. What that game was had most definitely labeled itself as some rendition of an ’alien vs. predator’ type of thing, as the weirdness of it all proved to be enough to simplify what uncertainties laid ahead. For no one could ever deny how weird it all seemed for him to live in a universe such as the bar he sat in - eyes wondering, causally glancing, lips pressed in an uncaring manner that confined him to the insanities that relayed in his untreated shlong that wanted and begged for the attention it deserved. When put into that context, why was his eyes even straying off in the first place when Chunghee was playing his favorite game of ‘hard to get’? Because seriously, how else was he going to engrave that evident ‘F U C K M E’ sign across his own damn forehead without tackling the oblivious hot stud of a man who really needed to get a reality check.

This was ‘The J’ Chunghee was dealing with after all.

Not some poser ready and willing to throw in the towel when all seemed lost and the world was coming to an end because his precious ‘bucket list’ would forever be alone. No, no, no. That wasn’t J’s style at all. It wasn’t his forte. It wasn’t how people referred to him as when the infamous party boy who ******** you once and never came back again outlined every inch of his body. Or at least, it was how it played out with that of the opposite sex who were so willing to jump his bones on command. But who gave a ******** about the opposite gender when the ravishing specimen before him enraptured his attention with the much needed humor manipulated his lips. For all he knew, the challenge inked upon the body he could practically envision through Chunghee’s clothes. The obscurity of it all seemingly wanting, needing and demanding for a kind of manipulation to crawl down J’s arm, control his fingers and push back the doubt that put on the mist of reluctance clouding his better judgment…or more like his better half.

This so called ‘better half’ was fairly approachable, fairly loud, fairly enjoyable to be with, fairly manipulative, fairly zealous, fairly non-judgmental, fairly loose, and, most importantly of all, fairly arrogant in his pursuit for a good ********. So he was fairly eager to get down to the point and say, ‘Quit ******** around with me and let me show you what your straight a** been missing for far too long.’ God, how careless would that be to have the rejection literally punch him right in the face like a train had hit him head on. He was wasted and as such, his lips were out of his control and, to put it bluntly, loose. Too loose to be exact, what with the alcohol seeping into his system like it usually did when the Jägerbomb burned sweetly down his throat. It stirred, the contents of his drink wavered, his senses dawdling a bit here and there, but it was nothing he couldn’t control, nothing remotely hazardous to be all worked up about because he kept his mouth shut for the most part. He was a tamable boy, sitting there patiently like he didn’t want to ******** the living daylights out of the man who kept on talking about some bullshit nonsense that merely raised his brow. It wasn’t because of mere interest, or that he thought the suggestion of bringing a blond into the nearest hotel was amusing. But the quirk of a brow insinuated the exasperation he held closely knitted behind lips that smiled with interest, that turned toward the said blond that was drop dead gorgeous, but held no significant impression on the man because J was already on a mission. He was on a covert operation to strip the foliage of Chunghee’s sexuality into something that would make him his for the remainder of the night. Be it bi-curious or gay-curious or…no, wait a minute…was gay-curious even a category? Was bi-curious a category? Could it even be referred to as a category? Hm, he was pretty sure bi-curious had its own definition, just as ******** and bangable had The J written all over it with his picture smack dab in the middle of the two adjective that embodied his soul.

But hold up just a goddamn minute! Did he even have a soul?

Was someone as scorching hot as himself, really able to attain such a thing that was prone to burning into a crisp the moment his sinful actions emanated moans and foul groans that were anything but innocent. Ha! Now that was a laugh. It was hilarious to say the least; for even thinking he had a soul seemed to have left his body wracked and feeble by the very thought of such senility. Because how could he be the promiscuous, dirty, and downright maddening man that he was if his body wasn’t as barren as the heart that had no use for love? What would come of the man who relied on sex and lived his life based on what two bodies could do when friction came into play?

The answer: Not a single goddamn thing would be meaningful in life when boredom took control of every dull fiber he might as well have no use for. Make him handicap for all he cared because the moment he needed the aid of Viagra was the point in time all was lost and life wasn’t worth living! Very dramatic one would quickly proclaim his thoughts to be, but really, how far was his ideals from the cycling facts of life? Sex made the world go round after all. It allowed that evolution bullcrap to shape in full form as one generation after another developed through his favorite recreational activity. So ******** theorist, ******** scientist, ******** who ever thought anything other than sex was important because if he were to put his money on it, he’d bet that everyone who opposed his life were people who couldn’t get some fine good, authentic piece of a** like the one who sat beside him….

So wait…what the ******** was he thinking about?

Why were such idiocies rummaging through his head when he had a ‘problem’ to solve? Why was it so hard to focus now? Why the hell were questions flying through his head when it should’ve been the least of his concerns? J blinked a few times as his thoughts drew back to that godforsaken hand that had grabbed onto his shoulder in that casual manner that pissed him right the ******** off. Okay, so he wasn’t totally pissed, but he was reaching that point of irritability where ‘not’ controlling himself would be the biggest mistake in his life. Or at least, for his career if he decided on dry humping Chunghee right then and there. So, in a sense, he had to applaud himself for thinking that far ahead when consequences were something to never be taken for granted. But really, who the hell cared about all that bullshit when ‘********’ and ‘hard’ were both used in the same sentence. Did Chunghee just asked him a question of what his body yearned for? Did he just verbally confirmed that, indeed, J needed a good ********? Well…

NO s**t SHERLOCK!!!

Of course he needed a good ********, and a hard one at that. Because by just simply feeling those long, hard fingers ensnaring his shoulders, J was absolutely and positively convinced Chunghee would be the right candidate to give such a ‘good, hard ********’ if he wasn’t going on and on, and [********] on about times and rescheduling like J even gave a damn. Sure, his tattoo was important, but it wasn’t like he couldn’t read between the lines. Y’know, the lines that blew off his advances when J’s fingers had crawled and indulged itself upon the thigh he had felt up before Eunji came along with her femininity, the woman tapping her heels like she owned the wood beneath her feet. Oh, no sirree, why put it in that ways when she owned jack squat. It didn’t work that way because when it came to owning property, J was all over that s**t like bread on rye because when J proclaimed something or, in this case, someone as his territory…well, let’s just say nothing will stand in his way of claiming what was practically his, especially when it was already his for the taking.

For at least a night that is. Much emphasis on that, thank you very much!

The thought was amusing, what he envisioned in his head was pretty damn erotic with the hormones kicked into overdrive, and when pinned with a question he wasn’t quite mentally willing to comprehend, J could only smile - smile like someone who was completely high on life but, nevertheless, always had a way of holding its charm when eyes would scan the inquiring male with all the interest such dark, smoldering irises could possibly conjure up. “Hold that thought.” He raised an index finger whilst tipping his head way back for parch lips to savor the taste of water smoothly cascading down his throat. A clear head was in order and the buzz was really killing his efforts in putting his wild musing to rest. And oh how it needed to stay six feet under because actions had to reign supreme amongst the lips that lightly smiled for the prowl. He stood up, his grip upon the table and the backrest of the chair firm as it kept his entire body steady; for posture itself was of the utmost importance for a kickass ambiance filled with what many would call a debonair charm. Not that he knew what the hell made a ‘charm’ he possessed so ‘debonair’ when he was simply doing what he usually did to catch the attention of those who just couldn‘t get their freshly painted eyes off of him. Who could blame them after all, J was getting his act together faster than any man could, considering how much toxins threatened the livelihood of his liver. But why concern himself with that kind of s**t when the said ‘easy ********’ batted her lashes when J made one smooth, and controlled motion toward her with a confident stride in his step.

He wasn’t a lady’s man, not really someone who would consider himself as something of a ‘smooth talker’ per say, but J was in ‘the business’ long enough to know what to do and what to say to get a woman to smile. It wasn’t hard, especially since the blond was supposed to be an easy catch. So lay down the French he thought would come in handy for American’s who had a way of taking languages as some sort of aphrodisiac. Sometimes, he wondered why he learned the language to begin with, and in moments like these, he thought he always acquired the answer to such a question when his tongue enchantingly rolled out the words no one usually understood. Sexy would be the first word that would come to mind when describing his entire persona. His lips drew into a smooth interpretable line that invited the advances that stood still at the moment. He’d casually smile and his eyes, shaded by the darkened presence of silk forelocks, managed to always work hand in hand when portraying an enticing atmosphere was in order. But the truth always had a way of scratching at the back of his throat. He’d speak, say those ‘frenchable’ words that made women swoon and expect what was soon to come. However, something must’ve clicked, like some fine line of incomprehensibility snapped in two because by the look on her face, it seemed as if she understood every word he said.

What he was saying? J wasn’t quite sure himself but he had a way of mumbling such inappropriate things, it was but a miracle she withstood the talk any minute longer. Freshly glossed lips tightened in disbelief as a scowl came about; And it wasn’t long until one fluid motion sent a cup full of beer right into his face. It didn’t totally surprised him. It happened once or twice in his lifetime (which probably made this the third), and he just stood there as she begrudgingly turned on her heels and stormed into the other direction. Any guy would’ve been ******** pissed off his rocker by what would be considered an embarrassment of a lifetime, but to J, it was all fun and games.

He smiled and thank the gods themselves for blessing him with a wit to always and forever rid himself of eyeliner right after work. His own personal rule after every gig saved him from looking like a hot mess as he dragged his hand slowly down his freshly damped face. The smell of booze and all kinds of liquor spanning across the globe seeped into his tank and ran down each and every imperceptible nook and cranny that made up his fine physique. He slicked his hair back with the excess drops of liquid dripping from the tips of his fingers, his smile no more refined than the calmness that filtered the air.

Each thread that made up his assemble clung to him like it was his second skin, but luckily enough his jeans and orange cardigan was in tack with not a drop in its wake. J inspected the damage when he decided to tread back from whence he came, his eyes merely lingering down at the thin layer of fabric that would’ve worked to his advantage if it was the right color. ‘Damn, I knew I should’ve wore that white shirt’ It would’ve done a hell of a lot better than the navy blue that still worked in concealing everything Chunghee was missing out with his straight a** always dodging his advances. But, whatever. What could he do when the dude loved feminine tits and the slits that came with it? J was known for being the lazy a** that he was and after encountering a chick who wanted to ******** him for the second time that month, and an American who dissed him with a splash of beer to the face, J was already feeling all the energy drained from his system. It wasn’t in a sense that it meant he gave up. Oh no, that was never who The J was and he surely wasn’t going to let Chunghee off that easy. The lethargy only called for a change in plans. It wasn’t entirely different or something that could be considered something of a life changing event of sorts, but merely required a ‘straightforward’ persona he held back for far too long.

Upon approaching the booth Chunghee sat in, J met his gaze with a humorous air to him that accentuated his light, carefree smile. “Dude, no offense or anything, but you’re the shittest informant I’ve ever met. If that was your definition of ‘easy’, I’d hate to feel your definition of a ‘good, hard ********] He let out an air of a chuckle before gathering the wet hems of his tank top. He pulled the pesky material up and over his head as the toned planes of his chest and the well-defined contours of his limbs moved into the notions of showing off what exactly Chunghee could claim if he put his planner down and face the facts that the ‘straight’ life wasn’t the life for him. Of course, J was innocent. It wasn’t like he planned the whole thing just so he could have a good excuse to strip himself down in public. Oh no; J was just concerned for his own well-being because he could recall mothers always saying wearing wet clothing had a way of inflicting people with the flu; And with his line of work, he couldn’t risk such a thing, now could he? That would be bad, that would be wrong, that would just be irresponsible of him if he didn’t take off his wet clothes and, by doing so, put his well-kempt body under the limelight. Not that showcasing his best ‘assets’ were his intention to begin with when every move portrayed a calmness that wouldn‘t be questioned unless…well…unless there was a reason to put the ever so ‘innocent‘ J under scrutiny.

Now what could that be?

Why would anyone every be so cruel as to dub his actions and his ways of living as a kind of ulterior motive that was only Chunghee’s to blame? The man came waltzing into the bar with him, and prior to their arrival he showboated his car like he was asking to be hit on as if the lustful glint in J’s eyes was all the reasons in the world to lead him on, and what more could he say about Chunghee’s reactions to his ever move. Molesting his thigh, the evident signals of a hard-on ready to happen, and everything else in between: they were actions - actions that would’ve sent J a message to back the ******** off if Chunghee had so much as pointed out the blatant displays with a swat, or rather, a punch to the face. He could have said something but, in J’s perspective, Chunghee ignored it, went ahead and played it off as if it was no big deal when it was a major deal to the boy whose hormone addled mind controlled lips that quickly recovered his outgoing grin; Not that it faltered to begin with. “Take me to your place.” He began to untie the orange cardigan from around his waist and used it as a rag to wipe off whatever glistening drops of alcohol his shirt couldn’t manage to pick up. It was obvious the statement hadn’t phase J in the slightest - that he wasn’t really worried what the other may think what his request implied because why worry about those little things when he was still kind of drunk.

‘Kind of’ being the word…

“If you don’t mind that is.” But, of course, might as well be courteous while he was at it. He may have been ‘out of it’ but that didn’t mean his inability to think went right out the window. “I live in an officetel under my company and they have this door man who makes it his life’s work to bust me whenever I come in drunk. Sooo~ I’m on my third strike and it’d be cool to chill at your place for a while until I sober up.” With his bag slung over his shoulder, he shrugged some before starting to head out the door. “Can’t pay you for my future awesome tat if I’m fired, right?” With that being said, there was only one word that could describe him thus far:

Word: Genius
Part of Speech: Adjective
Referring to: The J


Definition: The ability to produce fantastic amounts of equally fantastic bullshit that all makes perfect sense.

[Nanari Uchiha]

An enthusiastic figure hung over the white-picket fence, his smile broadening features that perfected every aspect of his youthful demeanor as a small giggle, or perhaps what others would call an attention-seeking laugh, took on the very ambiance of allure. He was courteous and kind, intelligent and wise beyond his years, protective and nurturing in all the right ways that allowed people their space, and yet his attentiveness in regards to human emotions were almost always spot-on and rarely dogmatized by the world around him.

Placed in a spherical tomb with nowhere else to go had constantly led him perched upon that very threshold that separated him from the teen who settled himself under the canopied leaves above. Smiling eyes looked upon the bark neither of them could claim as their very own, for the very roots of it stood along the borderline that made the marvelous oak tree ’theirs’. He could remember, a long long time ago, little fingers reaching out and touching those dark silk tresses that purposely sent his cheeks flaring in immense elation. A giggle here and a trill of laughter there didn’t stir the slumbering male from the tranquil realms beyond his bleak reality, but it did send his face leaning into the warmth emanated in the palm of his hand. It was a marvelous sight. The way lips smeared upon the base of his thumb had been an indescribable feeling forever locked into the valves and veins that made up his heart.

Each sensation encouraged the little boy to press on beyond the boarders that separated them both, his knees hoisting up and wedging against the fence as he bent forward to expose the arm that succumbed to the other‘s touch. What happened next began in a blink of an eye. A sudden tug pulled him up and over the fence, his world spun, the vast expanse of blue settled in view and his entire body was supported back against the other’s lap. Almost instinctual, the boy laughed while arms cradled him, supported him, and gave him that spark of hope that no matter what happened, those strong limbs would eternally be his to have, his to hold, and his to bury those smiling features right into as joy permeated the air. “You’ll always be there, won’t you?” Jungbae clung to him as if he was a new toy no one in their right mind would ever lay their filthy hands upon, because everyone knew how possessive he was and the efforts he’d go through to claim what was his and no other.

The smile hidden safely against the crook of his arm finally slipped from the shadows and looked into the light of the other‘s effortlessly curved lips full of what passion was all about. Eyes went aflutter once fingers began to stream into his hair, nails comfortingly dragging against his scalp as the child tilted his head back into each motion widening the corners of his lips. “If you’re always smiling, there’s no reason for me to go anywhere, right?” None at all; the question was invalid, stupid, idiotic, and pointless because Jungbae knew, from where ever their souls laid, there was no way he’d stop smiling for him no matter what life threw at the one who made promise after despicable promise that their joy would last for as long as they both lived.


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[******** up didn’t begin to describe the night Yeongsu revealed a side of himself that littered his eyes in both the pain and the agony one felt whenever a heart ached, or his mind swelled with thoughts and emotions his body couldn’t accept. [******** up had failed to describe the dawning twilight of his life when his past literally came back to haunt the blonde whose nails threatened to draw blood when they clawed and mauled at his very own hand. For all it was worth, [******** up was far from portraying the will-power it took for him to make a call he thought he was going to regret for a lifetime. But he couldn’t help it. How could anyone blame him for dialing the familiar number that once sent his happiness soaring through the roof? How could anyone every look down upon the man who tried his damn hardest to ignore what his delusional heart yearned for? Jin wasn’t answering his phone. He didn’t return to the studio like he was told. The lost little lamb who only every abided to his every whim went astray and it seemed his own body was doing the same. Jun made a call, he spouted out an address, the throbbing began in his chest and took over his entire body when he found his way into an aquatic center he use to always visit when life was simple, and they all took each coming day one step at a time.

Tired as he was, Jungbae kept his mind alert even as sharks swam overhead, those wondrous creatures keeping his attention for a long while as their razor-sharp eyes appeared lifeless beyond the plexigass they were ensnared in. He wasn’t sure how long he was there or why he waited beyond the minute he mentally allowed himself, but he stood there, gawking at life beyond the vast blue that emulated the sky.

At that moment, attentiveness, awareness and every ounce of vigilance slowly faded away into a void where he felt so empty, he almost overlooked the arms that held him as tightly as ever. The other’s grasp numbed every part of his body, as the hallow sensation loomed upon eyes that enveloped a kind of darkness he failed to describe. He couldn’t move even when his mind cursed the body pressed against his back, couldn’t say a word as the apologies fell hotly against his neck, and just couldn’t push him away because a part of him still remembered how much he cared about him, how much he once wanted a future with him and how he had entrusted him with the heart that was now as cold as steel.

He slowly raised a trembling hand in hopes, with what little strength he had left, he could pry that traitorous, god-forsaken arm away from him and lash out just as he did back at the studio. He couldn’t stand him! He wish the ******** was dead the moment he stepped back into this life! What he wanted was a way out and he couldn’t understand why Shin couldn’t give it to him. The anger, the spite he harbored and the resentment beckoned for a chance to say everything that he needed to say, but he stopped midway with his head dipped forward in despair. Fingers hooked desperately onto the arm crossed over his chest, each breath pressed against his skin reminding him what it would’ve been like to enjoy a past that had long since been forgotten. “You were the one that left us. You were the one that turned your back on me.” Shallow breaths quietly heaved out his every word, the pain tightening his vocal cords whenever his mind flooded with the memories of Shin’s smile, his words, his promises…his everything. “You were my bestfriend. You were…you were…” Teeth gritted, his words stammered out of control, and the acids deep at the pit of his stomach invaded every inch of his body that withered under his tightened embrace. He refused to let him go. Just as he did back when words fell so warmly against his skin, Jun sharply turned his head in attempt to overlook the lies that hit his ears. “I didn’t want to hurt you Jungbae.” His claims sounded so lovely when spoken behind a façade Jun tried to believe. “The last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you and Jinhwa the way I did. I’m sorry. I‘m so sorry I wasn‘t there. I‘m sorry that I left you. I‘m sorry Jun. I‘m sorry. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could take everything back.” The apologies could work like cupid’s arrow and hit straight into his heart, its lethal tip draped with the venoms love was always known to originate from, but it was bullshit.

It was all bullshit!

Jun turned around to get a good look at his pathetic face, as hands grappled and nails dug into the collar of his shirt. He had all the pent up anger in the world that would’ve pushed him away and could’ve sent fist flying like he did before. But the difficulties were ever present in his wavering gaze that couldn’t quite look the other in the eye. Jungbae flung his arms forward, pushed him away, and attempted to let Shin go with a fist retracting for a blow, but…for some reason, he couldn’t do it. Not because he was afraid or he was convince that the other was telling the truth, but because Shin physically stopped him from doing so. Wrists were captured in his unrelenting hold that kept the blond from executing the violence his vengeful heart sought out for. They began to move and with each step Shin took forward, Jun was forced to take one back with the struggles pitting the anger in his eyes. “You’re a ******** liar! You were just ******** around with me for the kicks and that was it! Just admit it you stupid b***h!” With all his might, he tried to break away from his captor, bucked and thrashed just for the chance to damage his pretty face, but everything - his efforts, his willpower, his strength all went in vain.

Sharply contrasting with the heat that pressed against his back not to long ago, a chill suddenly engrossed his spine as Shin pushed him up against the glass that displayed a whole new world beyond the anthropogenic sea. Jun’s stubbornness sent his arms pulling away from its cool surface, only for hands to pin them back in its place yet again. “Why did you come back?” His breath shuddered in immense frustration and to make matters worse, the restraints put him at an all-time low as it placed him under the mercy of that piercing stare he loathed the moment it emerged. “Because you’re pushing Jinhwa away.” The audacity! “I wanted to make sure that you knew you’re purposely pushing him away and if you keep going at it…” The nerve! “You’re going to lose him.” How dare he even feed him this crap! Jun felt the weight of his words strengthening his defenses faster than Shin had a chance to gather another round of bullshit he really didn’t need to listen to. His body absorbed the tremors of his own anger bustling like a storm that brewed at the very core of his soul; As if he even had a soul, but still, Jun couldn’t take the accusations wounding him far more deeper than the past ever could.

Jin meant the world to him. He sacrificed his entire life, his dreams and his career to cater to Jin’s ever whim because the happiness he felt long ago only ever truly existed beyond that white-picket fence where Jin had pulled him into his arms. But he didn’t remember. What they shared, the smiles that were supposed to engrave in their hearts, the laughter and their promises sealed with an entwinement of their pinky fingers, were all lost in a blink of an eye and it was all his fault. He couldn’t change it even if he sold his soul to the devil himself because there was absolutely nothing he could do.

“You can’t keep on suffocating him with the anger that’s only mines to bare only.” The sympathy in Shin’s eyes further twisted the knife Jin had constantly plunged right into him every time he made contact with that damnable cretin of a dancer he wanted so much to get rid of. Jun quietly shook his head, eyes draped in a sheet of denial hidden under dark forelocks. “You have to give him his space or you‘ll regret it.” But how could he? Jun was so afraid to lose him, so frightened of the little distance between them that his fears completely took over without his consent. He was completely lost in his own insecurity that he was convince he couldn’t possibly just let Jin wonder off with someone who didn’t deserve him. Soyoung was a spineless ********, an inconsiderate a** and an arrogant b***h who couldn’t get it through his thick skull that Jin didn’t need him nor anyone like him in his life.

But if that was true, then why does he always insist on being near that infuriating ******** ?

What exactly made Jin refuse him when Jun and Yuhan bumped into them in the hall? Why didn’t Jin push Soyoung away like everyone else? What made him so special from the rest of the world Jin refused to understand? It didn’t make any sense. He couldn’t piece it together and as much as he tried to understand, there was not an ounce of logic to everything that came to mind.

Jun attempted to struggled out of Shin’s hold once more, but it was no use. His determination and his reasons for doing so was far too weak, too pathetic, too worthless and too stupid for him to fight against because fear had already overcome his anger once the realization was made that someday, without so much as a hint of warning, Jin would leave him again just as he did before. If he left, if even so much as decided to deem Jun unworthy of his presence, it only meant he’d have to go back - go back to the memories, the pain, the agony and the torment that brought those scalding tears to his eyes.

“Why can’t everyone leave us alone? Just leave us the ******** alone.” Quiet as it was, Jun was still able to conveyed his message with lips quivering far too much than he was able to control. A lift of his head revealed the tears filled with an immeasurable amount of pain no one could have the heart to refrain from wiping away and as such, Shin released the hand that dropped limply at Jun’s side as fingers caressed the pale, wet cheek that followed and seemed to obey the warmth gliding effortlessly across his bottom lip. It was mystifying at first, rather confusing in the seconds that followed when Shin closed the little distance between them.

But never would it go any further.

Jun had a free hand to shove him as far away as he possible could, and yet the hesitation lingered with the comforting sensations paralyzing all efforts to stop what shouldn’t have begun. He could practically feel the other’s breath pulling him in and for all it was worth, he had the peace of mind to eventually turn his head away from lips that ventured far too close to home. “Don’t pull this s**t. Get the hell away from-” But he had said it so many times before? Whether the demand came out with a smile or begrudgingly fell from stern lips, there was always that need to ignore it, the desire to bypass the hate, the anger and the defiance Jun upheld because if Shin simply obeyed, there was no hope in reconciling the misunderstanding that broke them apart.

He didn’t mean to be so rough, didn’t intentionally try to evoke the shock in Jun’s eyes when he took his chin and directed his gaze solely upon him and him alone. It was stupid to infer that time stood still when the entwinement of lips took his breath away. But if that wasn’t so, and he could move beyond the restricting hold of his reality, then why didn’t he broke of the passion that sparked at the very tip of his tongue? Why did Jun bite furiously at his nemesis’s lips and subjected his senses into a passion that plunged and engrossed his tongue amongst the hot wet vice at the back of the other’s throat? Why was it, that whenever his mind told him to deny Shin’s advances and reject the supple groans spreading the heat throughout his body, Jun would defy and pretend as if the feverous cloud wiped his thoughts clean of the consequences that drew near?

Jun hated him with a passion. He couldn’t stand him, couldn’t be near him, couldn’t come to think of a day when adoration ever conjured up between them because the hate just went and ******** up the happy memories that might as well have been lost in a void of no return. That strong detestation conveyed in the raw animalistic intensity that bit down at the other’s lip enough to draw the slight tinge of blood that should’ve pulled Shin away. But he persisted onwards, ramming Jin’s back into the glass wall as some form of punishment that would put the blonde in his place. But how wrong of him to assume such delusional things because as the small whimpered cry surfaced at the sudden jolt of pain that hit his spine, it only encouraged him to retaliate. A small distance was shared and as quick as ever, Jun tilted his head back and sharply snapped forward as foreheads collided in a mind-splitting impact that reversed Shin’s steps away from him. He didn’t have time to recover, and why would Jun even give him that luxury when he deserved everything that unfolded thereafter.

The violence broke out as quickly as the passion ended and without constraint, Jun tackled Shin to the floor, a closed fist hovering in midair ready to strike; but just as he was about to let gravity take its course, the hesitation came back with full force as questions filtered the night air. “What gives you the right?” His throat tangled in knots, but in spite of his best efforts to control himself, the pain he evidently felt still lingered in his voice. “Jin needed you! I needed you but you left us. I had to take care of him, rebuild our lives after you decided to betray us and here you are, telling me you came back to make sure Jin wouldn’t leave me again. That’s ******** bullshit!!! The day he leaves me is the day I die and guess what, I’m not letting anyone come between us...not even you.” He did it once and he’d do it again. Jun would protect Jin to the ends of time because that was what love and devotion was all about. No one had what they had, no one shared a past like they had, and no one could compare to what they felt for each other because even if Jin forgot, Jun would always be there to remind him that at the end of every path that came his way, he’d be standing there with a smile he promised to keep for him a long time ago. And if anyone obstructed their paths, he’d curl his hands into a fist and fight his way through them no matter what it took.

[Nanari Uchiha]

An enthusiastic figure hung over the white-picket fence, his smile broadening features that perfected every aspect of his youthful demeanor as a small giggle, or perhaps what others would call an attention-seeking laugh, took on the very ambiance of allure. He was courteous and kind, intelligent and wise beyond his years, protective and nurturing in all the right ways that allowed people their space, and yet his attentiveness in regards to human emotions were almost always spot-on and rarely dogmatized by the world around him.

Placed in a spherical tomb with nowhere else to go had constantly led him perched upon that very threshold that separated him from the teen who settled himself under the canopied leaves above. Smiling eyes looked upon the bark neither of them could claim as their very own, for the very roots of it stood along the borderline that made the marvelous oak tree ’theirs’. He could remember, a long long time ago, little fingers reaching out and touching those dark silk tresses that purposely sent his cheeks flaring in immense elation. A giggle here and a trill of laughter there didn’t stir the slumbering male from the tranquil realms beyond his bleak reality, but it did send his face leaning into the warmth emanated in the palm of his hand. It was a marvelous sight. The way lips smeared upon the base of his thumb had been an indescribable feeling forever locked into the valves and veins that made up his heart.

Each sensation encouraged the little boy to press on beyond the boarders that separated them both, his knees hoisting up and wedging against the fence as he bent forward to expose the arm that succumbed to the other‘s touch. What happened next began in a blink of an eye. A sudden tug pulled him up and over the fence, his world spun, the vast expanse of blue settled in view and his entire body was supported back against the other’s lap. Almost instinctual, the boy laughed while arms cradled him, supported him, and gave him that spark of hope that no matter what happened, those strong limbs would eternally be his to have, his to hold, and his to bury those smiling features right into as joy permeated the air. “You’ll always be there, won’t you?” Jungbae clung to him as if he was a new toy no one in their right mind would ever lay their filthy hands upon, because everyone knew how possessive he was and the efforts he’d go through to claim what was his and no other.

The smile hidden safely against the crook of his arm finally slipped from the shadows and looked into the light of the other‘s effortlessly curved lips full of what passion was all about. Eyes went aflutter once fingers began to stream into his hair, nails comfortingly dragging against his scalp as the child tilted his head back into each motion widening the corners of his lips. “If you’re always smiling, there’s no reason for me to go anywhere, right?” None at all; the question was invalid, stupid, idiotic, and pointless because Jungbae knew, from where ever their souls laid, there was no way he’d stop smiling for him no matter what life threw at the one who made promise after despicable promise that their joy would last for as long as they both lived.


------------------------------------------------


[******** up didn’t begin to describe the night Yeongsu revealed a side of himself that littered his eyes in both the pain and the agony one felt whenever a heart ached, or his mind swelled with thoughts and emotions his body couldn’t accept. [******** up had failed to describe the dawning twilight of his life when his past literally came back to haunt the blonde whose nails threatened to draw blood when they clawed and mauled at his very own hand. For all it was worth, [******** up was far from portraying the will-power it took for him to make a call he thought he was going to regret for a lifetime. But he couldn’t help it. How could anyone blame him for dialing the familiar number that once sent his happiness soaring through the roof? How could anyone every look down upon the man who tried his damn hardest to ignore what his delusional heart yearned for? Jin wasn’t answering his phone. He didn’t return to the studio like he was told. The lost little lamb who only every abided to his every whim went astray and it seemed his own body was doing the same. Jun made a call, he spouted out an address, the throbbing began in his chest and took over his entire body when he found his way into an aquatic center he use to always visit when life was simple, and they all took each coming day one step at a time.

Tired as he was, Jungbae kept his mind alert even as sharks swam overhead, those wondrous creatures keeping his attention for a long while as their razor-sharp eyes appeared lifeless beyond the plexigass they were ensnared in. He wasn’t sure how long he was there or why he waited beyond the minute he mentally allowed himself, but he stood there, gawking at life beyond the vast blue that emulated the sky.

At that moment, attentiveness, awareness and every ounce of vigilance slowly faded away into a void where he felt so empty, he almost overlooked the arms that held him as tightly as ever. The other’s grasp numbed every part of his body, as the hallow sensation loomed upon eyes that enveloped a kind of darkness he failed to describe. He couldn’t move even when his mind cursed the body pressed against his back, couldn’t say a word as the apologies fell hotly against his neck, and just couldn’t push him away because a part of him still remembered how much he cared about him, how much he once wanted a future with him and how he had entrusted him with the heart that was now as cold as steel.

He slowly raised a trembling hand in hopes, with what little strength he had left, he could pry that traitorous, god-forsaken arm away from him and lash out just as he did back at the studio. He couldn’t stand him! He wish the ******** was dead the moment he stepped back into this life! What he wanted was a way out and he couldn’t understand why Shin couldn’t give it to him. The anger, the spite he harbored and the resentment beckoned for a chance to say everything that he needed to say, but he stopped midway with his head dipped forward in despair. Fingers hooked desperately onto the arm crossed over his chest, each breath pressed against his skin reminding him what it would’ve been like to enjoy a past that had long since been forgotten. “You were the one that left us. You were the one that turned your back on me.” Shallow breaths quietly heaved out his every word, the pain tightening his vocal cords whenever his mind flooded with the memories of Shin’s smile, his words, his promises…his everything. “You were my bestfriend. You were…you were…” Teeth gritted, his words stammered out of control, and the acids deep at the pit of his stomach invaded every inch of his body that withered under his tightened embrace. He refused to let him go. Just as he did back when words fell so warmly against his skin, Jun sharply turned his head in attempt to overlook the lies that hit his ears. “I didn’t want to hurt you Jungbae.” His claims sounded so lovely when spoken behind a façade Jun tried to believe. “The last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you and Jinhwa the way I did. I’m sorry. I‘m so sorry I wasn‘t there. I‘m sorry that I left you. I‘m sorry Jun. I‘m sorry. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could take everything back.” The apologies could work like cupid’s arrow and hit straight into his heart, its lethal tip draped with the venoms love was always known to originate from, but it was bullshit.

It was all bullshit!

Jun turned around to get a good look at his pathetic face, as hands grappled and nails dug into the collar of his shirt. He had all the pent up anger in the world that would’ve pushed him away and could’ve sent fist flying like he did before. But the difficulties were ever present in his wavering gaze that couldn’t quite look the other in the eye. Jungbae flung his arms forward, pushed him away, and attempted to let Shin go with a fist retracting for a blow, but…for some reason, he couldn’t do it. Not because he was afraid or he was convince that the other was telling the truth, but because Shin physically stopped him from doing so. Wrists were captured in his unrelenting hold that kept the blond from executing the violence his vengeful heart sought out for. They began to move and with each step Shin took forward, Jun was forced to take one back with the struggles pitting the anger in his eyes. “You’re a ******** liar! You were just ******** around with me for the kicks and that was it! Just admit it you stupid b***h!” With all his might, he tried to break away from his captor, bucked and thrashed just for the chance to damage his pretty face, but everything - his efforts, his willpower, his strength all went in vain.

Sharply contrasting with the heat that pressed against his back not to long ago, a chill suddenly engrossed his spine as Shin pushed him up against the glass that displayed a whole new world beyond the anthropogenic sea. Jun’s stubbornness sent his arms pulling away from its cool surface, only for hands to pin them back in its place yet again. “Why did you come back?” His breath shuddered in immense frustration and to make matters worse, the restraints put him at an all-time low as it placed him under the mercy of that piercing stare he loathed the moment it emerged. “Because you’re pushing Jinhwa away.” The audacity! “I wanted to make sure that you knew you’re purposely pushing him away and if you keep going at it…” The nerve! “You’re going to lose him.” How dare he even feed him this crap! Jun felt the weight of his words strengthening his defenses faster than Shin had a chance to gather another round of bullshit he really didn’t need to listen to. His body absorbed the tremors of his own anger bustling like a storm that brewed at the very core of his soul; As if he even had a soul, but still, Jun couldn’t take the accusations wounding him far more deeper than the past ever could.

Jin meant the world to him. He sacrificed his entire life, his dreams and his career to cater to Jin’s ever whim because the happiness he felt long ago only ever truly existed beyond that white-picket fence where Jin had pulled him into his arms. But he didn’t remember. What they shared, the smiles that were supposed to engrave in their hearts, the laughter and their promises sealed with an entwinement of their pinky fingers, were all lost in a blink of an eye and it was all his fault. He couldn’t change it even if he sold his soul to the devil himself because there was absolutely nothing he could do.

“You can’t keep on suffocating him with the anger that’s only mines to bare only.” The sympathy in Shin’s eyes further twisted the knife Jin had constantly plunged right into him every time he made contact with that damnable cretin of a dancer he wanted so much to get rid of. Jun quietly shook his head, eyes draped in a sheet of denial hidden under dark forelocks. “You have to give him his space or you‘ll regret it.” But how could he? Jun was so afraid to lose him, so frightened of the little distance between them that his fears completely took over without his consent. He was completely lost in his own insecurity that he was convince he couldn’t possibly just let Jin wonder off with someone who didn’t deserve him. Soyoung was a spineless ********, an inconsiderate a** and an arrogant b***h who couldn’t get it through his thick skull that Jin didn’t need him nor anyone like him in his life.

But if that was true, then why does he always insist on being near that infuriating ******** ?

What exactly made Jin refuse him when Jun and Yuhan bumped into them in the hall? Why didn’t Jin push Soyoung away like everyone else? What made him so special from the rest of the world Jin refused to understand? It didn’t make any sense. He couldn’t piece it together and as much as he tried to understand, there was not an ounce of logic to everything that came to mind.

Jun attempted to struggled out of Shin’s hold once more, but it was no use. His determination and his reasons for doing so was far too weak, too pathetic, too worthless and too stupid for him to fight against because fear had already overcome his anger once the realization was made that someday, without so much as a hint of warning, Jin would leave him again just as he did before. If he left, if even so much as decided to deem Jun unworthy of his presence, it only meant he’d have to go back - go back to the memories, the pain, the agony and the torment that brought those scalding tears to his eyes.

“Why can’t everyone leave us alone? Just leave us the ******** alone.” Quiet as it was, Jun was still able to conveyed his message with lips quivering far too much than he was able to control. A lift of his head revealed the tears filled with an immeasurable amount of pain no one could have the heart to refrain from wiping away and as such, Shin released the hand that dropped limply at Jun’s side as fingers caressed the pale, wet cheek that followed and seemed to obey the warmth gliding effortlessly across his bottom lip. It was mystifying at first, rather confusing in the seconds that followed when Shin closed the little distance between them.

But never would it go any further.

Jun had a free hand to shove him as far away as he possible could, and yet the hesitation lingered with the comforting sensations paralyzing all efforts to stop what shouldn’t have begun. He could practically feel the other’s breath pulling him in and for all it was worth, he had the peace of mind to eventually turn his head away from lips that ventured far too close to home. “Don’t pull this s**t. Get the hell away from-” But he had said it so many times before? Whether the demand came out with a smile or begrudgingly fell from stern lips, there was always that need to ignore it, the desire to bypass the hate, the anger and the defiance Jun upheld because if Shin simply obeyed, there was no hope in reconciling the misunderstanding that broke them apart.

He didn’t mean to be so rough, didn’t intentionally try to evoke the shock in Jun’s eyes when he took his chin and directed his gaze solely upon him and him alone. It was stupid to infer that time stood still when the entwinement of lips took his breath away. But if that wasn’t so, and he could move beyond the restricting hold of his reality, then why didn’t he broke of the passion that sparked at the very tip of his tongue? Why did Jun bite furiously at his nemesis’s lips and subjected his senses into a passion that plunged and engrossed his tongue amongst the hot wet vice at the back of the other’s throat? Why was it, that whenever his mind told him to deny Shin’s advances and reject the supple groans spreading the heat throughout his body, Jun would defy and pretend as if the feverous cloud wiped his thoughts clean of the consequences that drew near?

Jun hated him with a passion. He couldn’t stand him, couldn’t be near him, couldn’t come to think of a day when adoration ever conjured up between them because the hate just went and ******** up the happy memories that might as well have been lost in a void of no return. That strong detestation conveyed in the raw animalistic intensity that bit down at the other’s lip enough to draw the slight tinge of blood that should’ve pulled Shin away. But he persisted onwards, ramming Jin’s back into the glass wall as some form of punishment that would put the blonde in his place. But how wrong of him to assume such delusional things because as the small whimpered cry surfaced at the sudden jolt of pain that hit his spine, it only encouraged him to retaliate. A small distance was shared and as quick as ever, Jun tilted his head back and sharply snapped forward as foreheads collided in a mind-splitting impact that reversed Shin’s steps away from him. He didn’t have time to recover, and why would Jun even give him that luxury when he deserved everything that unfolded thereafter.

The violence broke out as quickly as the passion ended and without constraint, Jun tackled Shin to the floor, a closed fist hovering in midair ready to strike; but just as he was about to let gravity take its course, the hesitation came back with full force as questions filtered the night air. “What gives you the right?” His throat tangled in knots, but in spite of his best efforts to control himself, the pain he evidently felt still lingered in his voice. “Jin needed you! I needed you but you left us. I had to take care of him, rebuild our lives after you decided to betray us and here you are, telling me you came back to make sure Jin wouldn’t leave me again. That’s ******** bullshit!!! The day he leaves me is the day I die and guess what, I’m not letting anyone come between us...not even you.” He did it once and he’d do it again. Jun would protect Jin to the ends of time because that was what love and devotion was all about. No one had what they had, no one shared a past like they had, and no one could compare to what they felt for each other because even if Jin forgot, Jun would always be there to remind him that at the end of every path that came his way, he’d be standing there with a smile he promised to keep for him a long time ago. And if anyone obstructed their paths, he’d curl his hands into a fist and fight his way through them no matter what it took.

[Nanari Uchiha]

An enthusiastic figure hung over the white-picket fence, his smile broadening features that perfected every aspect of his youthful demeanor as a small giggle, or perhaps what others would call an attention-seeking laugh, took on the very ambiance of allure. He was courteous and kind, intelligent and wise beyond his years, protective and nurturing in all the right ways that allowed people their space, and yet his attentiveness in regards to human emotions were almost always spot-on and rarely dogmatized by the world around him.

Placed in a spherical tomb with nowhere else to go had constantly led him perched upon that very threshold that separated him from the teen who settled himself under the canopied leaves above. Smiling eyes looked upon the bark neither of them could claim as their very own, for the very roots of it stood along the borderline that made the marvelous oak tree ’theirs’. He could remember, a long long time ago, little fingers reaching out and touching those dark silk tresses that purposely sent his cheeks flaring in immense elation. A giggle here and a trill of laughter there didn’t stir the slumbering male from the tranquil realms beyond his bleak reality, but it did send his face leaning into the warmth emanated in the palm of his hand. It was a marvelous sight. The way lips smeared upon the base of his thumb had been an indescribable feeling forever locked into the valves and veins that made up his heart.

Each sensation encouraged the little boy to press on beyond the boarders that separated them both, his knees hoisting up and wedging against the fence as he bent forward to expose the arm that succumbed to the other‘s touch. What happened next began in a blink of an eye. A sudden tug pulled him up and over the fence, his world spun, the vast expanse of blue settled in view and his entire body was supported back against the other’s lap. Almost instinctual, the boy laughed while arms cradled him, supported him, and gave him that spark of hope that no matter what happened, those strong limbs would eternally be his to have, his to hold, and his to bury those smiling features right into as joy permeated the air. “You’ll always be there, won’t you?” Jungbae clung to him as if he was a new toy no one in their right mind would ever lay their filthy hands upon, because everyone knew how possessive he was and the efforts he’d go through to claim what was his and no other.

The smile hidden safely against the crook of his arm finally slipped from the shadows and looked into the light of the other‘s effortlessly curved lips full of what passion was all about. Eyes went aflutter once fingers began to stream into his hair, nails comfortingly dragging against his scalp as the child tilted his head back into each motion widening the corners of his lips. “If you’re always smiling, there’s no reason for me to go anywhere, right?” None at all; the question was invalid, stupid, idiotic, and pointless because Jungbae knew, from where ever their souls laid, there was no way he’d stop smiling for him no matter what life threw at the one who made promise after despicable promise that their joy would last for as long as they both lived.


------------------------------------------------


[******** up didn’t begin to describe the night Yeongsu revealed a side of himself that littered his eyes in both the pain and the agony one felt whenever a heart ached, or his mind swelled with thoughts and emotions his body couldn’t accept. [******** up had failed to describe the dawning twilight of his life when his past literally came back to haunt the blonde whose nails threatened to draw blood when they clawed and mauled at his very own hand. For all it was worth, [******** up was far from portraying the will-power it took for him to make a call he thought he was going to regret for a lifetime. But he couldn’t help it. How could anyone blame him for dialing the familiar number that once sent his happiness soaring through the roof? How could anyone every look down upon the man who tried his damn hardest to ignore what his delusional heart yearned for? Jin wasn’t answering his phone. He didn’t return to the studio like he was told. The lost little lamb who only every abided to his every whim went astray and it seemed his own body was doing the same. Jun made a call, he spouted out an address, the throbbing began in his chest and took over his entire body when he found his way into an aquatic center he use to always visit when life was simple, and they all took each coming day one step at a time.

Tired as he was, Jungbae kept his mind alert even as sharks swam overhead, those wondrous creatures keeping his attention for a long while as their razor-sharp eyes appeared lifeless beyond the plexigass they were ensnared in. He wasn’t sure how long he was there or why he waited beyond the minute he mentally allowed himself, but he stood there, gawking at life beyond the vast blue that emulated the sky.

At that moment, attentiveness, awareness and every ounce of vigilance slowly faded away into a void where he felt so empty, he almost overlooked the arms that held him as tightly as ever. The other’s grasp numbed every part of his body, as the hallow sensation loomed upon eyes that enveloped a kind of darkness he failed to describe. He couldn’t move even when his mind cursed the body pressed against his back, couldn’t say a word as the apologies fell hotly against his neck, and just couldn’t push him away because a part of him still remembered how much he cared about him, how much he once wanted a future with him and how he had entrusted him with the heart that was now as cold as steel.

He slowly raised a trembling hand in hopes, with what little strength he had left, he could pry that traitorous, god-forsaken arm away from him and lash out just as he did back at the studio. He couldn’t stand him! He wish the ******** was dead the moment he stepped back into this life! What he wanted was a way out and he couldn’t understand why Shin couldn’t give it to him. The anger, the spite he harbored and the resentment beckoned for a chance to say everything that he needed to say, but he stopped midway with his head dipped forward in despair. Fingers hooked desperately onto the arm crossed over his chest, each breath pressed against his skin reminding him what it would’ve been like to enjoy a past that had long since been forgotten. “You were the one that left us. You were the one that turned your back on me.” Shallow breaths quietly heaved out his every word, the pain tightening his vocal cords whenever his mind flooded with the memories of Shin’s smile, his words, his promises…his everything. “You were my bestfriend. You were…you were…” Teeth gritted, his words stammered out of control, and the acids deep at the pit of his stomach invaded every inch of his body that withered under his tightened embrace. He refused to let him go. Just as he did back when words fell so warmly against his skin, Jun sharply turned his head in attempt to overlook the lies that hit his ears. “I didn’t want to hurt you Jungbae.” His claims sounded so lovely when spoken behind a façade Jun tried to believe. “The last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you and Jinhwa the way I did. I’m sorry. I‘m so sorry I wasn‘t there. I‘m sorry that I left you. I‘m sorry Jun. I‘m sorry. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could take everything back.” The apologies could work like cupid’s arrow and hit straight into his heart, its lethal tip draped with the venoms love was always known to originate from, but it was bullshit.

It was all bullshit!

Jun turned around to get a good look at his pathetic face, as hands grappled and nails dug into the collar of his shirt. He had all the pent up anger in the world that would’ve pushed him away and could’ve sent fist flying like he did before. But the difficulties were ever present in his wavering gaze that couldn’t quite look the other in the eye. Jungbae flung his arms forward, pushed him away, and attempted to let Shin go with a fist retracting for a blow, but…for some reason, he couldn’t do it. Not because he was afraid or he was convince that the other was telling the truth, but because Shin physically stopped him from doing so. Wrists were captured in his unrelenting hold that kept the blond from executing the violence his vengeful heart sought out for. They began to move and with each step Shin took forward, Jun was forced to take one back with the struggles pitting the anger in his eyes. “You’re a ******** liar! You were just ******** around with me for the kicks and that was it! Just admit it you stupid b***h!” With all his might, he tried to break away from his captor, bucked and thrashed just for the chance to damage his pretty face, but everything - his efforts, his willpower, his strength all went in vain.

Sharply contrasting with the heat that pressed against his back not to long ago, a chill suddenly engrossed his spine as Shin pushed him up against the glass that displayed a whole new world beyond the anthropogenic sea. Jun’s stubbornness sent his arms pulling away from its cool surface, only for hands to pin them back in its place yet again. “Why did you come back?” His breath shuddered in immense frustration and to make matters worse, the restraints put him at an all-time low as it placed him under the mercy of that piercing stare he loathed the moment it emerged. “Because you’re pushing Jinhwa away.” The audacity! “I wanted to make sure that you knew you’re purposely pushing him away and if you keep going at it…” The nerve! “You’re going to lose him.” How dare he even feed him this crap! Jun felt the weight of his words strengthening his defenses faster than Shin had a chance to gather another round of bullshit he really didn’t need to listen to. His body absorbed the tremors of his own anger bustling like a storm that brewed at the very core of his soul; As if he even had a soul, but still, Jun couldn’t take the accusations wounding him far more deeper than the past ever could.

Jin meant the world to him. He sacrificed his entire life, his dreams and his career to cater to Jin’s ever whim because the happiness he felt long ago only ever truly existed beyond that white-picket fence where Jin had pulled him into his arms. But he didn’t remember. What they shared, the smiles that were supposed to engrave in their hearts, the laughter and their promises sealed with an entwinement of their pinky fingers, were all lost in a blink of an eye and it was all his fault. He couldn’t change it even if he sold his soul to the devil himself because there was absolutely nothing he could do.

“You can’t keep on suffocating him with the anger that’s only mines to bare only.” The sympathy in Shin’s eyes further twisted the knife Jin had constantly plunged right into him every time he made contact with that damnable cretin of a dancer he wanted so much to get rid of. Jun quietly shook his head, eyes draped in a sheet of denial hidden under dark forelocks. “You have to give him his space or you‘ll regret it.” But how could he? Jun was so afraid to lose him, so frightened of the little distance between them that his fears completely took over without his consent. He was completely lost in his own insecurity that he was convince he couldn’t possibly just let Jin wonder off with someone who didn’t deserve him. Soyoung was a spineless ********, an inconsiderate a** and an arrogant b***h who couldn’t get it through his thick skull that Jin didn’t need him nor anyone like him in his life.

But if that was true, then why does he always insist on being near that infuriating ******** ?

What exactly made Jin refuse him when Jun and Yuhan bumped into them in the hall? Why didn’t Jin push Soyoung away like everyone else? What made him so special from the rest of the world Jin refused to understand? It didn’t make any sense. He couldn’t piece it together and as much as he tried to understand, there was not an ounce of logic to everything that came to mind.

Jun attempted to struggled out of Shin’s hold once more, but it was no use. His determination and his reasons for doing so was far too weak, too pathetic, too worthless and too stupid for him to fight against because fear had already overcome his anger once the realization was made that someday, without so much as a hint of warning, Jin would leave him again just as he did before. If he left, if even so much as decided to deem Jun unworthy of his presence, it only meant he’d have to go back - go back to the memories, the pain, the agony and the torment that brought those scalding tears to his eyes.

“Why can’t everyone leave us alone? Just leave us the ******** alone.” Quiet as it was, Jun was still able to conveyed his message with lips quivering far too much than he was able to control. A lift of his head revealed the tears filled with an immeasurable amount of pain no one could have the heart to refrain from wiping away and as such, Shin released the hand that dropped limply at Jun’s side as fingers caressed the pale, wet cheek that followed and seemed to obey the warmth gliding effortlessly across his bottom lip. It was mystifying at first, rather confusing in the seconds that followed when Shin closed the little distance between them.

But never would it go any further.

Jun had a free hand to shove him as far away as he possible could, and yet the hesitation lingered with the comforting sensations paralyzing all efforts to stop what shouldn’t have begun. He could practically feel the other’s breath pulling him in and for all it was worth, he had the peace of mind to eventually turn his head away from lips that ventured far too close to home. “Don’t pull this s**t. Get the hell away from-” But he had said it so many times before? Whether the demand came out with a smile or begrudgingly fell from stern lips, there was always that need to ignore it, the desire to bypass the hate, the anger and the defiance Jun upheld because if Shin simply obeyed, there was no hope in reconciling the misunderstanding that broke them apart.

He didn’t mean to be so rough, didn’t intentionally try to evoke the shock in Jun’s eyes when he took his chin and directed his gaze solely upon him and him alone. It was stupid to infer that time stood still when the entwinement of lips took his breath away. But if that wasn’t so, and he could move beyond the restricting hold of his reality, then why didn’t he broke of the passion that sparked at the very tip of his tongue? Why did Jun bite furiously at his nemesis’s lips and subjected his senses into a passion that plunged and engrossed his tongue amongst the hot wet vice at the back of the other’s throat? Why was it, that whenever his mind told him to deny Shin’s advances and reject the supple groans spreading the heat throughout his body, Jun would defy and pretend as if the feverous cloud wiped his thoughts clean of the consequences that drew near?

Jun hated him with a passion. He couldn’t stand him, couldn’t be near him, couldn’t come to think of a day when adoration ever conjured up between them because the hate just went and ******** up the happy memories that might as well have been lost in a void of no return. That strong detestation conveyed in the raw animalistic intensity that bit down at the other’s lip enough to draw the slight tinge of blood that should’ve pulled Shin away. But he persisted onwards, ramming Jin’s back into the glass wall as some form of punishment that would put the blonde in his place. But how wrong of him to assume such delusional things because as the small whimpered cry surfaced at the sudden jolt of pain that hit his spine, it only encouraged him to retaliate. A small distance was shared and as quick as ever, Jun tilted his head back and sharply snapped forward as foreheads collided in a mind-splitting impact that reversed Shin’s steps away from him. He didn’t have time to recover, and why would Jun even give him that luxury when he deserved everything that unfolded thereafter.

The violence broke out as quickly as the passion ended and without constraint, Jun tackled Shin to the floor, a closed fist hovering in midair ready to strike; but just as he was about to let gravity take its course, the hesitation came back with full force as questions filtered the night air. “What gives you the right?” His throat tangled in knots, but in spite of his best efforts to control himself, the pain he evidently felt still lingered in his voice. “Jin needed you! I needed you but you left us. I had to take care of him, rebuild our lives after you decided to betray us and here you are, telling me you came back to make sure Jin wouldn’t leave me again. That’s ******** bullshit!!! The day he leaves me is the day I die and guess what, I’m not letting anyone come between us...not even you.” He did it once and he’d do it again. Jun would protect Jin to the ends of time because that was what love and devotion was all about. No one had what they had, no one shared a past like they had, and no one could compare to what they felt for each other because even if Jin forgot, Jun would always be there to remind him that at the end of every path that came his way, he’d be standing there with a smile he promised to keep for him a long time ago. And if anyone obstructed their paths, he’d curl his hands into a fist and fight his way through them no matter what it took.

[Nanari Uchiha]

[Nanari Uchiha]

[Nanari Uchiha]

P E R S O N A L I T Y


My personality varies from one person to the next. It’s like a mosaic piece of art filled with emotions unable to diverge from what has already been created. Surely, that one sentence alone may be confusing to others, but if you think about a portrait, the first thing you’ll notice how unchangeable each stroke, each hue, each line and each element has become as the image in its entirety is but a fixed impression that cannot be wavered. So, when put into that perspective, I can only base my personality under the most specified of categories that goes as followed:


Hatred



Be it animosity, unadulterated anger, pure malice and everything else in between, I have to say that it takes a lot for me to despise you. I‘m never one to quickly subject another to such a fate stripped of mercy, because if anyone so happened to fall in this division of detestation, I‘d say you‘ll be buried six fit under before even realizing what hit you.

I suppose hatred can also fall into the realms of irritability since they seem to complement each other in the most cruelest of ways. Once I find you far too much to bare, there‘s usually an invisible line created between us that as evident as ever. Solemnity can be the word to describe every single emotion that would befall on the one that I’ve already dubbed unworthy of my time. There’s just no reason to interact with each other, no reason to speak to one another, no reason to be stuck in the same room together, and absolutely no reason to tolerate one another unless it’s really, really, really and a thousand times really necessary to do so. To put it bluntly, I just hate you and you should stay out of my way if you know what’s good for you.



Respect



If you seem like an asset to my life or the ’family’ in general, I can easily bring myself to tolerate every aspect of what makes you you. I’ll listen to your ideas, be open to whatever you have to say, exude a warming aura in order for you to be comfortable when an exchange of words commence, and…I guess…be there for you when you‘re in a rut. After all, I‘m not completely malicious. Unfortunately enough, I‘m human and I act accordingly to the soul I’m ensnared with. A sprinkle of kindness, a dash of understanding, a smidgen of serenity, and an ounce of reliability: they don’t go in any particular order, but it is what you can expect from me and nothing more.

I may be a little uptight and a bit demanding, but get a few drinks in me and you’ll really see the definition of what makes human beings fun and enjoyable to be with. That is unless I hate the very sight of you and for that alone, I can assure you, not even 10 gallons of alcohol will fail to suppress that rage.



Neutral



Hm, what can I say about this. I suppose, to put it as simply as possible, those who fall under this category are people who I nether hate nor respect. I don‘t particularly ignore you, but it‘s not as if I‘d go out of my way to seek your company. You‘re just there and, for a lack of a better word, a phantom who might as well be as translucent as ever when you presence can‘t form a ripple in my life or others.

Being stern and serious is all you‘ll be able to describe me as because when a job needs to be done, it‘s not like there’s any other way to address you or the situation.



P R E S E N T / P A S T


“Who are you?”

It was an inquiry my son had once asked me with a bitterness that instantly ignited a flame within his heaving chest. He was crying at the time, bawling out those salty tears without a care in the world and, for one reason or another that I couldn‘t quite explain, the most important question of my life hit me the moment I looked into my son‘s glowering eyes: who exactly was I? What could I possibly put my name under without feeling inadequate to the world around me? A measly, good for nothing lieutenant playing a game that wasn’t mines to be a part of perhaps? Or maybe a member of a family - a family that had no right to be dubbed as such a symbolic representation of love, dedication, honor and loyalty when everything fell to s**t for the most childish reasons known to man. Or possibly I could call myself a father, seeing that I had two things that cried, s**t and spit like it was some kind of honor to bestow myself with their bodily fluids.

Now that, my dear reader, was nowhere near holy water if you asked me because, despite how much people called children a ’gift from god’, I saw them as nothing but a liability, a weakness, a reason that would turn my plans to s**t if people were to find out I had a leash of responsibility tied around my neck. So, in a sense, I wasn’t a father. Not that I didn’t want to be nor had the patience to mold myself into what I practically asked for when I forgot to slip the condom. No, no; It was just the fact that I was never going to be one until I tore through the obstacles that was Aester and, if fate would have it, Chastity as well.

Don’t get me wrong.

They’re like family to me. I would never kill them unless they gave me a really good reason to. After all, we’re a part of a rendition of what they called a gang, a mafia, and what I like to describe as a group of juveniles who did what they wanted to do, went about their business however they saw fit and skated through life as if they owned the world around them. See the sarcasm there. It was just ironic how they could call themselves a part of this Panno Soffis masquerade when petty misunderstandings and arguments split them in two. Have they forgotten what a gang was, or, to put it in their terms, what the mafia was all about? Did they forget that blood ran thicker than water and such a message relayed in the unity that shouldn’t have ever been broken? Oh, how trivial this all seemed to be and yet, the separation gave me the opportunity to attempt to salvage what has been lost. I saw this ‘family business’ as a national conglomeration of illicit affairs that could bring about power and riches beyond one’s wildest dreams. It open the floodgates of opportunities I needed to get ahead of the game and simply live a life with a sense of security in mind.

But of course, before I even speak of the future, I should’ve addressed my past, now shouldn‘t I? Well, let’s just say blood and misfortune littered my life the moment I was born. I beheaded my own father with his precious, most valuable sword, moved from country to country in order to acquire the life I deserved and, proving to be quite the asset in this technologically savvy world, my knowledge in computers, business, and the economy in general so happened to have placed me in a position I wasn’t satisfied in. Nevertheless, despite how loathsome a lieutenant’s job revealed itself to be, I got into the family and that’s an accomplishment within itself I should say. It requires a well deserved pat on the back, but I’m still not where I want to be. I’ve exuded a great amount of patience thus far and it showed by the loyalty I’ve demonstrated for years upon years on end. I’ve stood idly by with my head held low in order to please those who I thought I could trust. I did what needed to be done, dealt with all the whining, the bullshit and the unwanted drama without a word being said. Simply enough, I watched, I observed, I weaved that seemingly last strand of patience into an unbreakable tether that couldn’t be messed with, because what I desired the most was to forever keep my head on leveled ground.

So, all in all, I need to stay strong for what other’s would call a family. Not that I’m referring to Aviv, Chastity, Arc, Amillia or anyone else for that matter as my own flesh and blood, when such a crimson hue only ever connects me with my children and…if possible…maybe Allison as well.

Ha, now who am I kidding.

Why should I even mention her? She’d be a liability as well, right? If I were to…no…why think of such a thing? That is an entirely different story that should never be treaded upon; for even placing the thought at the forefront of my mind would only mean distractions I’m not ready or willing to face just yet.

[Nanari Uchiha]

L I K E S Climb up the ladder of respect if you provide me any of these...

Burmester Reserva Novidade 1890 Colheita Port

Rarities has always been my weak points.


Bunnies

(￣-￣ﾒ) A secret I'll take to the grave thank you very much.


Tachi blades

The more pricey the better

[Nanari Uchiha]

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[for arc when I get to read her personality/bio lol] [write stuff here] [write stuff here] [write stuff here] [write stuff here]





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[Nanari Uchiha]

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[Nanari Uchiha]

They were panting out a storm, the air wildly dense with such misconstrued thoughts whirling about in a trifling manner that reflected the wide-set pairs of eyes staring, contemplating, and registering the expressions splayed all over each other’s faces. He had straddle the other hips to the floor, his partner’s long red hair sprawled out behind him in a unfurled mess that couldn’t be controlled as the other motionlessly laid back amongst the cold, grimy floor. With upturned lips, a game, from there on out, had begun without warning once the other’s head tipped back as his neck and his fancy chin had been arrayed in full regalia. It was an invitation to say the least - an invitation that couldn’t be ignored because as A’dian’s eager fingers curled into the collar of the man’s shirt, their was a hint of smirk that peaked from beneath dark forelocks as if already reassuring his victim’s reward would soon come to pass.

He said nothing, hinted nothing, and implied nothing of what exactly was going to unfold before them when the contact itself was more than enough to assume the worst. But the red head wasn’t worried in the slightest; oh no, he had little to concern himself with when the man towering over him had always been quite the gentle soul. “Your clothes is making me uncomfortable. Please take them off.” The wicked smirk on A’dian’s face was now subjected into the realms of solemnity, as his lethal intentions all but failed in comparison to Tristan’s humorous wit that took a hold of the situation. “Give me a reason not to slit your throat right now.” Innuendos never played so well with A’dian for many reasons that needn’t to be explained. But it wasn’t as if he displayed how irritable he was supposed to be when the cold steel of a knife gripped tightly within his hands always acted like a remedy of sorts. “Aww, look at you, hurting my feelings and s**t like that. I was just playing Ian. C’mon, you gotta work on that funny bone of yours.”

Tristan shrilled a laugh of content that A’dian was less interested in joining as the morning spar had already got the best of him. The jagged edge of his knife still pressed against the other’s skin, the intent to kill still lingering in their eyes that locked upon one another with an intensity fit for battle. But soon enough, the victor of the spoils, so to speak, hand gotten off of the boy and took the lethality of his knife with him. “Damn man, what’s up? You call me to train and here you are, just ******** throwing me around like a rag doll as if I gave you permission or something.” A’dian, or more notably addressed as ’Ian’, shrugged his shoulders as if not giving a single ******** about the whining that ensued. “And you accidentally cut my arm too. ’Da hell! I know we’re ‘blood brothers’ and all but that s**t is going too far. So, I say again, what the ******** is your problem Ian?” Tristan wasn’t mad pre say; he just had a hard time expressing himself without adding curses in between every single thing he said.

Not that it bothered Ian in the slightest when his tolerance level had always exceeded beyond the heaven’s above. “Little on edge I see.” Ian smirked as he continued wiping off his blade with a damp cloth. “Didn’t get any a** yesterday?” Tristan scoffed. “Pshhhhh~…You're one to talk...Didn’t get any a** for months I see.” The retort quickly wiped the tinge of a smirk right off of Ian‘s face. “I can turn this s**t around too okay. So ******** to you. So seriously man, spill. I’ve never seen you so on edge.” Being ‘on edge,’ as Tristan so loosely put it, was clearly an understatement that evidently displayed itself in the battered image Ian’s sparring session had caused him. With a light laceration across his forearm and a tint of blue smearing Tristan’s already swelling left eye, Ian could admit he overdone it a tad bit. But who really cared when the red head wasn’t one to concern himself with anything. Though, he knew it was about time to face the music before another onslaught of curses reached his ears. “Remember them.”

Tristan glanced over at a single picture Ian fished out of his wallet as two kids revealed itself before him. “Your son and your ‘illegitimate’ daughter.” A short pause followed. “ Oh ******** tell me your changing your mind about our plans.” Ian calmly shook his head before placing the photo in its rightful place. “Of course not, but…well…I need a favor.” A scrutinizing gaze instantly plastered upon the man who merely stared back with a neutral look to him. The stare alone always had such murderous intentions no one would be stupid enough to mess with; and one could only wonder how deadly his gaze would've been if he was set with a complete pair of eyes. If one already sent chills up and down his spine, he would never want to even think of the potential fear two would make. “As if I could say no. C’mon, just lay it on me already and stop with this intense ‘I‘m gong to intentionally pause so I can work the moment up‘ bullshit.” Patience: it was all that was required of the friendship they had both shared for what seemed like a forever that would never end. Such a connection was build on support, trust and all sorts of s**t he couldn’t think of at the moment, but he was sure the strong tether that kept them together was as stable and as reliable as whatever he had with the ‘panno soffis’ gang who had already tattered the strings between them. But that didn’t matter now, because what was as significant as ever would be the reply that dully escaped him. “I need you-” But then, out of nowhere, the door to the dilapidated building suddenly slammed open, and in came walking a little clone of the man who stared blankly at his son. “Celesse is hungry.” The boy announced with an animosity that was thicker than venom.

From there, Tristan was quiet for a moment.

Just too quiet for someone who was known for his mindless, high pitched drabble that went on and on like a broken record. It was odd because , for all it was worth, Tristan never was the kind of person who would quickly conform to silence. But when something as shocking as a child interrupted their discussion as rudely as the boy did, that’s when stark confusion quickly sank in. “What the living ******** Ian. Why is he here?” And the only explanation to his blunt inquiry: A’dian was just plain stupid and an idiotic ‘softy‘ to boot. “To make a long story short, their mother died a few weeks back and I couldn’t-”

“Helloooo~” Tristan interjected with a panic tenor to his voice. “Send the brats into foster care or something,” he vulgarly hissed. “ Don’t ******** tell me you’ve been taking care of them all this time. I can’t even come to believe those soffis bastards even let them chill in that pent house. Do they know?” He deigned not make a reply as the singular iris, drenched in uniformed serenity, simply wondered off toward the smaller, much shorter version of himself who stood haughtily a good distance away. With arms crossed tightly over his little chest, and a glare that would easily put his own to shame, Ian could only assess the situation as something along the lines of a chaotic mess he had to deal with before it blew out of proportion. “They’re my flesh and blood. To put them in foster care, or anything else for that matter, would be the exemplar of what has happened between the Panno and Soffis members. Unlike them, I’m taking responsibility for my actions as oppose to resorting to childish games.” Because one can only imagine the level of childishness the gang members were influenced by when they allowed emotions to get the best of them. “With the s**t that’s happening now, I’m not going to risk them getting involved with something they don‘t need to be a part of. Which means, I need you to take care of them and keep all this under wraps just until our plan is put into motion.” Tristan stared back at the said kid to be taken care of and rolled his eyes. “Oh goody, I’ll be ******** ‘father of the year,’ how ******** awesome is that. I hope I get a big ‘ol cookie for this.” What else could he say other than tossing in a few jokes of pure resentment. The way he saw it, there was no way in fighting what was already deemed inevitable. Because when Ian pressed an issue with such severity and sternness in his every word, Tristan’s only option, no matter what the situation may be, was to abide to his every command and trust Ian knew what he was doing.

“Sure, Sure, I’ll get you the most finest s**t from some gas station tonight.”

Between the silence that followed suit and the death glare that only ever came from the child at the doorway, Ian was actually damn grateful for the disturbance of a text message that came from a damsel who seem to always experience one psychological break after another. After reading over the message, he tossed his cell to the red head whose eyes loomed over the woman’s every word. “She’s so full of herself. Who labels a message ‘From: the boss,’ what a ******** joke. Why are you beneath these ******** kids?” Saving himself from a long, drawled out exchange of words, Tristan merely shrugged. “Appearances can be deceiving. They may look feeble and incapable of pulling their own weight, but their intelligence makes up for what they lack. In the end of a good fight, it’s strategy and wit that conquers over brute strength…in most cases at least.”

Short, sweet, and straight to the point: it was all that was ever required to shut the other up. And as that went underway, he was preparing to leave with a duffel bag full of 'equipment'. “Whatever, but where am I taking these things anyways. It’s not like I have a house or an apartment. If you forget, I ******** crash at your condo remember and I don‘t think you‘d be stupid enough to bring them there.” Upon making their way out of the building with the angered imp following close behind, Ian began shuffling through the glove compartment of his car for a set of keys he threw in Tristan’s direction. “Skylar can tell you where the apartment is.”

“Wow, wow, wow….an apartment? Back up there cowboy. Where‘d you get the money? And… since we‘re on this subject, I should ask: what the hell has been happening to everything we‘ve been saving up? Our accounts are nearly cleared out.” Now that information was on a need to know basis, which didn’t require Tristan to know jack s**t about anything unless Ian decided otherwise. “I’m getting the money back so can you calm the ******** down for a minute.” How he could spit out his profanities without raising his voice in those few unnecessary octaves Tristan was accustomed to was beyond him. But, nevertheless, his unmarred eye always provided a means of showing exactly how much Tristan was cutting at his last strands of patience. “I got everything planned out so all you need to worry about is them.” As if on cue, 4 year old Celesse Dior Delacor stepped out of the car with little hands rubbing at her once slumbering eyes that were now slowly adjusting to the sunlight. She stared up at A’dian with an expression of uncertainty, her cerulean hues scanning over the man carefully before she quickly decided on running to her older brother’s side as if the little boy could protect her from anything and everything that posed as a threat. From the looks of it, the two were their own family and with arms desperately holding onto one another, it was as clear as day that there was no room for him in their lives.


Not that it ever mattered….



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Oh the solitude of an abandon building.

It was wonderful, wasn’t it? Feeling the breeze brush through his hair, experiencing the sun kissing warmly at his cheeks, hearing the rustling of leaves from up above, and, most importantly of all, indulging himself in the seclusion that was equivalent to the finest jewels set on the face of the earth. Dear lord the seclusion was a god send! Since being dubbed as the ‘babysitter’ of the Soffis family there was not a minute that had gone by where he didn’t hear Aviv’s giggling and his mindless, childish and useless blather sputtering like an endless sea of waves crashing harshly into Ian’s last nerves. Aviv was, to dear god himself, known as the only one who could try Ian’s patience, save for Arc that is, whose selfish and cold disposition, radiating solely from her eyes alone, always rubbed him in all the wrong ways. As for Amillia, well, to be completely honest with himself and everyone else who interacted with her on a daily basis, he had to wonder what was there to really think about when she was as translucent as air. It wasn’t a question he sought an answer to when it was more along the lines of an unchanging statement that would stick to her until she proved him wrong. Because, as far as he knew, there was absolutely nothing that would stray him away from his one true purpose and that was to slowly, but surely become partly or - better yet - fully in charge of every aspect of what Panno Soffis had build from the bottom up.

A great feat for someone whose life was controlled by a disease that was way out of his hands. Leave it to fate to smother Aiden’s soul with a death he more or less deserved, what with how lazy and incompetent he was when barking up orders was all Ian had witnessed before the Panno Soffis division occurred. He had respect for the man, don’t get him wrong, but he did loath the image that molded Aiden to become nothing less than a leech of sorts. But who cares. Who really cared when he was on his own covert operation that allowed him to scope the parameters that was under Panno’s jurisdiction. All this morning, he had passed the time with Tristan as his punching bag as the kids slept safely in the car, but now that everyone was out and about on the far side of town, Ian could finally assemble his Dragunov customized to his preference in silencer, scope, and stand as he positioned the sniper upon the deteriorating floor of the rooftop he stood on. “I’ll give them 5 minutes and I’ll get out of here.” The ‘them’ he spoke of were traitors in his own personal life that he had to take care of before he could deal with the bullshit that was his duties as a Soffis Lieutenant. “Might as well check on the children while I’m here waiting.” He sat under the awning made of plastic sheets that hung idly about the wreckage that was building material for an unfinished greenhouse. He glanced at his phone, slightly hesitant fingers hovering over its keys in contemplation before finally sending a message to Aviv:【A grande macchiato with a McMuffin on the side. Why not add a cookie while you're at it. Expect to see you @ HQ w/my breakfast ^_^】

A jackass.

When dealing with Aviv he was the spawn of the devil himself that wanted nothing more but to make his life a living hell. He’d add emoticons to his message, was all civil with his words as if it was his personal right to treat the underdog in such a way, and surely, with the message comprised of nothing but one demand after another, it sure did its job in getting him to smile just a tad bit. After experiencing such a drag of a morning that he had not to long ago, he sure needed another to experience the dread he felt even if Aviv decided to be a jackass himself and refuse to do as he was told. The reason for his behavior toward the seemingly ‘innocent’ effeminate ******** was obvious, especially when placing Allison into the mix. But that, of course, is something he shouldn’t speak of when he had some matters to attend to. He began with another message with Allison’s name written all over it: 【If it‘s not any trouble, I need to speak to you about financial matters later on today. Just leave a time slot open for me since I know how busy you can be. Thanks.】

An old man.

Now, when dealing with Allison, he had to admit he sounded dull. It wasn’t his fault or anything of that sort, it’s just that…hmm…how could he explain such a thing. “It doesn’t matter. Now, where was I?” Thinking about it was of no use to him and since he decided on pushing the thought aside, he looked through the scope of his rifle and began, as the name implied, scoping out the area. Being quite the marksman, Ian went about scanning the entire strip of ‘Panno’ land as far as the scope allotted, his mind imprinting every image in his head until he unexpectedly came across his supposed ‘boss’ walking down the street. “What the hell is she doing here?” Was she tracking him? Was she on to him? Was she smarter than he gave her credit for? Whatever the reason, Ian was on edge and with his presence concealed on the rooftop of the fourth tallest building in the area, he began to register her every move with his scope stationed upon her dainty silhouette. And if her presence wasn’t surprising enough, then Daniel’s sudden appearance sure was when they began shortly conversing with one another. “Deception is such a b***h right now.” It was all that ran through his mind. Daniel plus his suave moves, plus Elizabeth put into the mix is trouble waiting to happen. What were they planning out down there anyways? He didn’t hear about a ‘trip’ down Panno lane so what the ******** was going on?

With his concerns and assumptions spinning wildly in his head, Ian decided at the last minute to send a message.

With his gun cocked, loaded and ready to go, his index finger delicately grazed over the trigger as he aimed at a supposedly empty soda can propped on the curb just mere millimeters away from Daniel’s precious Harley Davidson. Through the years, everyone noted how precise Ian was with a rifle that was as lethal as the sword that might as well be considered an extension of his own arm. They knew his trademarks, was aware of his specially designed bullets that were as unique as he was, and surely, they would’ve acknowledged his skills way back then as he now intentionally would make himself known when he pulled the trigger. As silent as ever, the bullet ripped through the air and nicked his target as the can flew straight up due to the point of impact at its bottom edge. In that split second, another bullet was ready for yet another shot and once Ian pulled the trigger once again, the second bullet sliced right through the can in midair and penetrated the brick wall. He could admit he’d be in a lot of s**t if Elizabeth took his intentions the wrong way - that is if she even knew it was Ian’s doing in the first place- but it was merely a reminder that mistakes are bound to happen if Elizabeth decided to get on that Motorcycle without any thought of the consequences that would soon draw near.

[Nanari Uchiha]

An enthusiastic figure hung over the white-picket fence, his smile broadening features that perfected every aspect of his youthful demeanor as a small giggle, or perhaps what others would call an attention-seeking laugh, took on the very ambiance of allure. He was courteous and kind, intelligent and wise beyond his years, protective and nurturing in all the right ways that allowed people their space, and yet his attentiveness in regards to human emotions were almost always spot-on and rarely dogmatized by the world around him.

Placed in a spherical tomb with nowhere else to go had constantly led him perched upon that very threshold that separated him from the teen who settled himself under the canopied leaves above. Smiling eyes looked upon the bark neither of them could claim as their very own, for the very roots of it stood along the borderline that made the marvelous oak tree ’theirs’. He could remember, a long long time ago, little fingers reaching out and touching those dark silk tresses that purposely sent his cheeks flaring in immense elation. A giggle here and a trill of laughter there didn’t stir the slumbering male from the tranquil realms beyond his bleak reality, but it did send his face leaning into the warmth emanated in the palm of his hand. It was a marvelous sight. The way lips smeared upon the base of his thumb had been an indescribable feeling forever locked into the valves and veins that made up his heart.

Each sensation encouraged the little boy to press on beyond the boarders that separated them both, his knees hoisting up and wedging against the fence as he bent forward to expose the arm that succumbed to the other‘s touch. What happened next began in a blink of an eye. A sudden tug pulled him up and over the fence, his world spun, the vast expanse of blue settled in view and his entire body was supported back against the other’s lap. Almost instinctual, the boy laughed while arms cradled him, supported him, and gave him that spark of hope that no matter what happened, those strong limbs would eternally be his to have, his to hold, and his to bury those smiling features right into as joy permeated the air. “You’ll always be there, won’t you?” Jungbae clung to him as if he was a new toy no one in their right mind would ever lay their filthy hands upon, because everyone knew how possessive he was and the efforts he’d go through to claim what was his and no other.

The smile hidden safely against the crook of his arm finally slipped from the shadows and looked into the light of the other‘s effortlessly curved lips full of what passion was all about. Eyes went aflutter once fingers began to stream into his hair, nails comfortingly dragging against his scalp as the child tilted his head back into each motion widening the corners of his lips. “If you’re always smiling, there’s no reason for me to go anywhere, right?” None at all; the question was invalid, stupid, idiotic, and pointless because Jungbae knew, from where ever their souls laid, there was no way he’d stop smiling for him no matter what life threw at the one who made promise after despicable promise that their joy would last for as long as they both lived.


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[******** up didn’t begin to describe the night Yeongsu revealed a side of himself that littered his eyes in both the pain and the agony one felt whenever a heart ached, or his mind swelled with thoughts and emotions his body couldn’t accept. [******** up had failed to describe the dawning twilight of his life when his past literally came back to haunt the blonde whose nails threatened to draw blood when they clawed and mauled at his very own hand. For all it was worth, [******** up was far from portraying the will-power it took for him to make a call he thought he was going to regret for a lifetime. But he couldn’t help it. How could anyone blame him for dialing the familiar number that once sent his happiness soaring through the roof? How could anyone every look down upon the man who tried his damn hardest to ignore what his delusional heart yearned for? Jin wasn’t answering his phone. He didn’t return to the studio like he was told. The lost little lamb who only every abided to his every whim went astray and it seemed his own body was doing the same. Jun made a call, he spouted out an address, the throbbing began in his chest and took over his entire body when he found his way into an aquatic center he use to always visit when life was simple, and they all took each coming day one step at a time.

Tired as he was, Jungbae kept his mind alert even as sharks swam overhead, those wondrous creatures keeping his attention for a long while as their razor-sharp eyes appeared lifeless beyond the plexigass they were ensnared in. He wasn’t sure how long he was there or why he waited beyond the minute he mentally allowed himself, but he stood there, gawking at life beyond the vast blue that emulated the sky.

At that moment, attentiveness, awareness and every ounce of vigilance slowly faded away into a void where he felt so empty, he almost overlooked the arms that held him as tightly as ever. The other’s grasp numbed every part of his body, as the hallow sensation loomed upon eyes that enveloped a kind of darkness he failed to describe. He couldn’t move even when his mind cursed the body pressed against his back, couldn’t say a word as the apologies fell hotly against his neck, and just couldn’t push him away because a part of him still remembered how much he cared about him, how much he once wanted a future with him and how he had entrusted him with the heart that was now as cold as steel.

He slowly raised a trembling hand in hopes, with what little strength he had left, he could pry that traitorous, god-forsaken arm away from him and lash out just as he did back at the studio. He couldn’t stand him! He wish the ******** was dead the moment he stepped back into this life! What he wanted was a way out and he couldn’t understand why Shin couldn’t give it to him. The anger, the spite he harbored and the resentment beckoned for a chance to say everything that he needed to say, but he stopped midway with his head dipped forward in despair. Fingers hooked desperately onto the arm crossed over his chest, each breath pressed against his skin reminding him what it would’ve been like to enjoy a past that had long since been forgotten. “You were the one that left us. You were the one that turned your back on me.” Shallow breaths quietly heaved out his every word, the pain tightening his vocal cords whenever his mind flooded with the memories of Shin’s smile, his words, his promises…his everything. “You were my bestfriend. You were…you were…” Teeth gritted, his words stammered out of control, and the acids deep at the pit of his stomach invaded every inch of his body that withered under his tightened embrace. He refused to let him go. Just as he did back when words fell so warmly against his skin, Jun sharply turned his head in attempt to overlook the lies that hit his ears. “I didn’t want to hurt you Jungbae.” His claims sounded so lovely when spoken behind a façade Jun tried to believe. “The last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you and Jinhwa the way I did. I’m sorry. I‘m so sorry I wasn‘t there. I‘m sorry that I left you. I‘m sorry Jun. I‘m sorry. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could take everything back.” The apologies could work like cupid’s arrow and hit straight into his heart, its lethal tip draped with the venoms love was always known to originate from, but it was bullshit.

It was all bullshit!

Jun turned around to get a good look at his pathetic face, as hands grappled and nails dug into the collar of his shirt. He had all the pent up anger in the world that would’ve pushed him away and could’ve sent fist flying like he did before. But the difficulties were ever present in his wavering gaze that couldn’t quite look the other in the eye. Jungbae flung his arms forward, pushed him away, and attempted to let Shin go with a fist retracting for a blow, but…for some reason, he couldn’t do it. Not because he was afraid or he was convince that the other was telling the truth, but because Shin physically stopped him from doing so. Wrists were captured in his unrelenting hold that kept the blond from executing the violence his vengeful heart sought out for. They began to move and with each step Shin took forward, Jun was forced to take one back with the struggles pitting the anger in his eyes. “You’re a ******** liar! You were just ******** around with me for the kicks and that was it! Just admit it you stupid b***h!” With all his might, he tried to break away from his captor, bucked and thrashed just for the chance to damage his pretty face, but everything - his efforts, his willpower, his strength all went in vain.

Sharply contrasting with the heat that pressed against his back not to long ago, a chill suddenly engrossed his spine as Shin pushed him up against the glass that displayed a whole new world beyond the anthropogenic sea. Jun’s stubbornness sent his arms pulling away from its cool surface, only for hands to pin them back in its place yet again. “Why did you come back?” His breath shuddered in immense frustration and to make matters worse, the restraints put him at an all-time low as it placed him under the mercy of that piercing stare he loathed the moment it emerged. “Because you’re pushing Jinhwa away.” The audacity! “I wanted to make sure that you knew you’re purposely pushing him away and if you keep going at it…” The nerve! “You’re going to lose him.” How dare he even feed him this crap! Jun felt the weight of his words strengthening his defenses faster than Shin had a chance to gather another round of bullshit he really didn’t need to listen to. His body absorbed the tremors of his own anger bustling like a storm that brewed at the very core of his soul; As if he even had a soul, but still, Jun couldn’t take the accusations wounding him far more deeper than the past ever could.

Jin meant the world to him. He sacrificed his entire life, his dreams and his career to cater to Jin’s ever whim because the happiness he felt long ago only ever truly existed beyond that white-picket fence where Jin had pulled him into his arms. But he didn’t remember. What they shared, the smiles that were supposed to engrave in their hearts, the laughter and their promises sealed with an entwinement of their pinky fingers, were all lost in a blink of an eye and it was all his fault. He couldn’t change it even if he sold his soul to the devil himself because there was absolutely nothing he could do.

“You can’t keep on suffocating him with the anger that’s only mines to bare only.” The sympathy in Shin’s eyes further twisted the knife Jin had constantly plunged right into him every time he made contact with that damnable cretin of a dancer he wanted so much to get rid of. Jun quietly shook his head, eyes draped in a sheet of denial hidden under dark forelocks. “You have to give him his space or you‘ll regret it.” But how could he? Jun was so afraid to lose him, so frightened of the little distance between them that his fears completely took over without his consent. He was completely lost in his own insecurity that he was convince he couldn’t possibly just let Jin wonder off with someone who didn’t deserve him. Soyoung was a spineless ********, an inconsiderate a** and an arrogant b***h who couldn’t get it through his thick skull that Jin didn’t need him nor anyone like him in his life.

But if that was true, then why does he always insist on being near that infuriating ******** ?

What exactly made Jin refuse him when Jun and Yuhan bumped into them in the hall? Why didn’t Jin push Soyoung away like everyone else? What made him so special from the rest of the world Jin refused to understand? It didn’t make any sense. He couldn’t piece it together and as much as he tried to understand, there was not an ounce of logic to everything that came to mind.

Jun attempted to struggled out of Shin’s hold once more, but it was no use. His determination and his reasons for doing so was far too weak, too pathetic, too worthless and too stupid for him to fight against because fear had already overcome his anger once the realization was made that someday, without so much as a hint of warning, Jin would leave him again just as he did before. If he left, if even so much as decided to deem Jun unworthy of his presence, it only meant he’d have to go back - go back to the memories, the pain, the agony and the torment that brought those scalding tears to his eyes.

“Why can’t everyone leave us alone? Just leave us the ******** alone.” Quiet as it was, Jun was still able to conveyed his message with lips quivering far too much than he was able to control. A lift of his head revealed the tears filled with an immeasurable amount of pain no one could have the heart to refrain from wiping away and as such, Shin released the hand that dropped limply at Jun’s side as fingers caressed the pale, wet cheek that followed and seemed to obey the warmth gliding effortlessly across his bottom lip. It was mystifying at first, rather confusing in the seconds that followed when Shin closed the little distance between them.

But never would it go any further.

Jun had a free hand to shove him as far away as he possible could, and yet the hesitation lingered with the comforting sensations paralyzing all efforts to stop what shouldn’t have begun. He could practically feel the other’s breath pulling him in and for all it was worth, he had the peace of mind to eventually turn his head away from lips that ventured far too close to home. “Don’t pull this s**t. Get the hell away from-” But he had said it so many times before? Whether the demand came out with a smile or begrudgingly fell from stern lips, there was always that need to ignore it, the desire to bypass the hate, the anger and the defiance Jun upheld because if Shin simply obeyed, there was no hope in reconciling the misunderstanding that broke them apart.

He didn’t mean to be so rough, didn’t intentionally try to evoke the shock in Jun’s eyes when he took his chin and directed his gaze solely upon him and him alone. It was stupid to infer that time stood still when the entwinement of lips took his breath away. But if that wasn’t so, and he could move beyond the restricting hold of his reality, then why didn’t he broke of the passion that sparked at the very tip of his tongue? Why did Jun bite furiously at his nemesis’s lips and subjected his senses into a passion that plunged and engrossed his tongue amongst the hot wet vice at the back of the other’s throat? Why was it, that whenever his mind told him to deny Shin’s advances and reject the supple groans spreading the heat throughout his body, Jun would defy and pretend as if the feverous cloud wiped his thoughts clean of the consequences that drew near?

Jun hated him with a passion. He couldn’t stand him, couldn’t be near him, couldn’t come to think of a day when adoration ever conjured up between them because the hate just went and ******** up the happy memories that might as well have been lost in a void of no return. That strong detestation conveyed in the raw animalistic intensity that bit down at the other’s lip enough to draw the slight tinge of blood that should’ve pulled Shin away. But he persisted onwards, ramming Jin’s back into the glass wall as some form of punishment that would put the blonde in his place. But how wrong of him to assume such delusional things because as the small whimpered cry surfaced at the sudden jolt of pain that hit his spine, it only encouraged him to retaliate. A small distance was shared and as quick as ever, Jun tilted his head back and sharply snapped forward as foreheads collided in a mind-splitting impact that reversed Shin’s steps away from him. He didn’t have time to recover, and why would Jun even give him that luxury when he deserved everything that unfolded thereafter.

The violence broke out as quickly as the passion ended and without constraint, Jun tackled Shin to the floor, a closed fist hovering in midair ready to strike; but just as he was about to let gravity take its course, the hesitation came back with full force as questions filtered the night air. “What gives you the right?” His throat tangled in knots, but in spite of his best efforts to control himself, the pain he evidently felt still lingered in his voice. “Jin needed you! I needed you but you left us. I had to take care of him, rebuild our lives after you decided to betray us and here you are, telling me you came back to make sure Jin wouldn’t leave me again. That’s ******** bullshit!!! The day he leaves me is the day I die and guess what, I’m not letting anyone come between us...not even you.” He did it once and he’d do it again. Jun would protect Jin to the ends of time because that was what love and devotion was all about. No one had what they had, no one shared a past like they had, and no one could compare to what they felt for each other because even if Jin forgot, Jun would always be there to remind him that at the end of every path that came his way, he’d be standing there with a smile he promised to keep for him a long time ago. And if anyone obstructed their paths, he’d curl his hands into a fist and fight his way through them no matter what it took.

[Nanari Uchiha]

Here’s the thing about the ******** up thing we call life.

To get straight into the misconstrued cycle that makes our world go round, we start off with the undeniable truth of which life, as we know it, is almost always filled with its ups and downs, and tainted with those trivial matters that etch the words of 'insignificant' all over our face. If perfection is unable to scathe the repertoires of what authorities like to call you‘re ‘rap sheet,’ then…well, you’re completely ******** from there because once you screw up, you’re mistakes follow you like an unremitting shadow as a simple misunderstanding is automatically dubbed as nothing but a crime in the eyes of juries and judges alike. “What the ******** am I supposed to do with a 6 months sentence of house arrest. Like, the ******** man…it wasn’t even my fault.” The system was cruel and unbiased even to the most frugal of human beings to ever step forth before the stand. Having been acquainted to the whole ‘being arrested’ shindig for petty misdemeanors throughout his adolescent years, he kind of knew what he was getting himself into when cuffs grappled around his wrist. ‘Kind of’ being the word of course, seeing that he didn’t expect the sounding of the gavel to echo the dreaded 6 months sentence of pure, unadulterated misery that seem to still ring in his ears. “C’mon Tristan. You were in possession of cocaine. If it wasn’t for my brother pulling some strings for ya, you would’ve gotten way worse than that. For Hellz sake, you would’ve been jailbait for sure.” Oh yes, Tristan Denall had his connections. Like everyone else in the world, the 18-year-old had enough sense in him to befriend the younger brother of a cop for the most obvious of reasons that needn’t to be explained. It was as if fate was on his side for once in his godforsaken life and surely, he could only thank Tyler for that. “Whatever. It just ******** sucks I’m here with ‘what’s his face’ for what feels like an eternity. He ******** creeps me right the ******** out.”

“What’s his face? You mean your new daddy dearest?” Tristan cringed in disgust. “ Say that again and I’ll shove my foot up your a**.” The teen heavily leaned back in his seat and, as rudely as ever, propped his feet upon the kitchen table; not giving a single ******** about whatever rules and regulations that engraved the walls of his new home. “But ya know what sucks more than staying in this dump.” The dark-headed male plastered a look of confusion at said dump as Tyler looked around the kitchen area drenched in all things contemporary and extravagant. From the high-end table, to the espresso machine on the counter, there was no way anyone would consider the place anywhere near a dump. But, despite Tyler’s efforts in making that fact known, Tristan continued on with his rant just as he usually did when he felt on edge. “Not only is my so called ’mother’ out for some ******** business trip, but for the time being, I have to ******** force myself to be nice to the b*****d and make sure he doesn't catch me doing something my probation officer would put me to jail for.” Tyler gave him a look. He wasn’t sure what such a look implied, but every time that brow of his rose in question, Tristan always made sure to anticipate the worse. “Well, I heard he paid for your bail so he can’t be all that bad. Or are you just mad because he’s ******** your mom.” The snickers that fell from upturned lips were evidently unappreciated by the looks of the vicious scowl he immediately received. “I don’t really give a s**t about that. I just can’t stand being around him. So can you stay over for the night or something.”

“Oh look at you; Being all needy and s**t. But yeah, sure, if you give me a good ******** tonight I’m sure I can stay with you.” Oh the agonies of befriending a homo. Tyler had a way of running his mouth off with every provocative and allusive phrase that came to mind that it was a wonder why Tristan even talked to him in the first place. He was loud to the point of vexation, blunt to the point of irritation, and above all that, the boy was slow to the point where exasperation didn’t even come close to describing how Tristan felt whenever he had to repeat himself time and time again. Tyler was, to put it simply, a very strong personality to withstand; Not that it bothered him in the least bit, considering he was use to his perverse antics since the day they first met. “But you sure your dad-”

“He’s not my dad,” he quickly interjected. “Okay, okay, jeeze. Chillax will ya. But are you sure he’s going to let me stay over? I’m not supposed even be here remember. Your mom totally blames me for what happened to you.” Tristan rolled his eyes as he slightly tipped his chair back on its hind-legs, his calm expression undisturbed by the other’s concern. “Where is he anyways?” The so called convict shrugged. “Not entirely sure. I mean, who ******** cares. He may be at work, in his study room or wherever else he goes to make the money he gets. It’s not like I keep track of him. Unlike me, the b*****d doesn’t haves a GPS system recording his every move 24/7.” And there it was, peeking out from beneath the hem of his jeans was the bulky ankle bracelet confining him within the wall of his imprisonment. “Well, dude, it’s not like you need to stay in that ankle bracelet all the time.” With a mixed look of curiosity and uncertainty, Tristan watched as Tyler grabbed his backpack off the floor to settle it upon his lap, the boy shuffling through it before fishing out a tub of Vaseline. “Cliché, I know, but s**t man, it’s the only thing I could come up with. There’s a party tonight and you know I can’t go without you or stay here while it’s happening. So we can try to slip you out of that bracelet without no one knowing. We’ll just say we’re sleeping early and sneak out. And if that doesn’t work, I got a stash of ‘straight’ porn for your entertainment.” Desperate for a way out after three days of confinement had really perked Tristan’s interest for any sort of crazy idea Tyler could come up with. Be it reenacting the famous scene from the ’SAW’ trilogy, or drenching his ankle with a b***h load of gunk, it was surely safe to say that Tristan would do everything and anything to experience the sweet taste of freedom.

Even if it meant risk getting caught doing so.

But for now, the two chilled out in the kitchen area, talking and messing around with other news regarding random predicaments that helped in getting Tristan's mind off of the hardships of life, imprisonment, and his so called 'step-father'.

[Nanari Uchiha]

Innocence was but a façade that failed to convict those guilty of their sins.

The word purged him into the very depths of an abyss where absolute guilt manifested deep within the core where his heart laid. What he said, what he did, and the reasons why he broke up with the only person he sworn to protect from all the sadness, the grief and the pressures that life inflicted upon his soul were despicable and unforgivable despite his intentions for doing so. They had first met with smiles draw from ear to ear as their relationship ensnared the happiness their hearts couldn’t bare to withstand. But it was a good kind of happiness, a really pure kind of love that touched at the very curves of lips that had only ever spoken sweet nothings into the ear of the only one who seemed to have really understood him. With all that being said, it was confirmed, by the thrumming beat of his heart and the entity of his entire soul, that Lee Jae Sun loved Park Seung Hoon to the extent of eternity that soared through the heavens above. For love couldn’t be as fickle as people made it out to be and, for that, Jae Sun still solemnly believed a part of him still cared about Seung Hoon as that same part of him would forever devote his life to him if the other gave him chance. But really, how could he be so foolish to bombard himself with such senilities when love proved to be nothing but a waste of time. Jae Sun always had a way of contradicting himself whenever he thought about Seung Hoon as if he had a reason to.

They broken up, they ended it!

Jae Sun himself made it his priority to break his beloved’s heart as despicably and as wretchedly as mankind would allow it. It was Jae Sun and no other who decided on cutting all ties the moment he had called Seung Hoon all those years ago, waiting for him to witness the face obscured by pure malice. “Seung Hoon.” He could remember it all - remember how Seung Hoon greeted him with a smile and entwined his fingers with the very digits that only pushed his hands away. At first, the words knotted at the back of his throat, the hesitation killing him from the inside out, poisoning every vital organ in his body as if death was upon them all. And, if he didn’t know any better, he would’ve been convinced the apocalypse was drawing near. His heart threatened to burst out of his chest, his breath draw thinly against his lips and yet, while feeling the pressures of saying what needed to be said, Jae Sun conveyed a kind of composure that failed to correlate with his tattered soul. “I can’t do this. I just can’t continue on like this anymore.” He denied Seung Hoon’s comfort, denied the hand that so possessively held his with an unremitting devotion that no one could compare to, and Jae Sun further denied all that their relationship was built on. Trust, honesty, support, equality, understanding, and respect: everything and anything that became the building blocks to the connection they had once shared was shattered when Jae Sun decided on ending it right there and then. “I can’t be in a relationship with you. I can’t love you because I refuse to call myself a f*****t and accept what isn’t supposed to be happening. We’re guys for ******** sakes. Haven’t you thought about that, huh?! Haven’t you thought about how wrong it is? How ******** disgusting it is to look in the mirror and realize society deems this behavior as a sin and nothing more. How could you do this to me? How could you make me go against my family by lying to them every single waking day of my life?! Why did you corrupt me!?” And he blamed him. Jae Sun blamed him for seducing him, blamed Seung Hoon for brainwashing him into loving another man and blamed everything about him that even made their relationship begin in the first place.

Though, it was quite unorthodox for the confession to come about the way it did after practically 3 or so years of dating, only for it all to end right on his 16th birthday. And what a birthday it was. Not only had he shattered his own heart, but Jae Sun also gifted himself with a kind of regret that couldn’t be undone. Never had he meant to say everything that he had said on a day where only happiness should’ve existed. Not once did Jae Sun intended on breaking up with him. But he had to! For his own wellbeing as well as those around him, it seemed like his duty to end what was supposed to have ceased to exist. There was no way fate was responsible for bringing them together, no way the definition of happiness relayed within his once precious childhood friend, and absolutely no way in hell they were destined to share a dream that resembled the night sky above. To become a star, to be an idol, and to really be above and beyond all those who opposed their dreams was what created their relationship into a bond he thought he could never pull away from. When he was but a adolescent boy at the age of thirteen, he watched as Seung Hoon persevered through the challenges in becoming an idol. His hopes transcended beyond the skies and stars above, his dedication that of something to marvel over as his stubbornness to never give up and never surrender transferred into Jae Sun’s own heart all those years ago. For the boy was just as dedicated, just as determined and just as stubborn to chase after their dreams just as Seung Hoon prayed for. But after they went their separate ways, a dream that was once shared between them, was now a dream he fought for all by his self.

His father didn’t want anything to do with what he called a ‘waste of time’ and his mother, although very supported like a mother should be, was restricted to aid her son due to his father’s unrelenting influence upon her. He controlled their finances and thus confined his mother’s actions with only sweet gestures of the heart that brought her near whenever he was down, and provided him with the encouragement to move forward no matter what came in his way. As for his sister, Yung Hee, well…there wasn’t much to say about her when they were the kind of siblings who rarely saw each other despite living under the same roof. Being her eldest brother of two years, one would expect Jae Sun to keep tabs on her on a day-to-day basis. He noticed how distant they were, noticed how they’d be respectful of one another but never really knew the kind of personality their entire existence entailed. That was why he promised, once he turned 16, he’d be a better brother for her sake and his own. But how could he do just that when he never had the chance to. His father kicked him out the same night he broke up with Seung Hoon, which, in turn, deprived him of that chance to start any relationship anew. But never did he ever give a damn when he knew, good and well, it was all that he truly deserved. Jae Sun broke Seung Hoon’s heart after all, so it was only fair for his father to break his in return. It seemed like a scene from a Korean drama, but unlike the popularized sitcoms that made teenage girls weep in front of their television screen, Jae Sun at least had someone to emotionally and financially be by his side when he needed it the most.

But never mind those vague details.

Where he now resided was what really mattered because it was his career that needed to be in the forefront of his mind. With the many connections he had received throughout the years, combined with the hard work pouring out his blood, sweat and tears, Jae Sun had finally landed in the most reputable company anyone could only ever dream of: SM Entertainment. He had refined his skills as a potential artist that would one day make it big in a whole new world promising him the fame he sought out for. Although, 4 months into his training, a potential scandal was brought to his attention, his name on the verge of being tainted by a few jealous individuals who made it their life’s objective to ruin what he fought so hard to achieve. Instead of such scandals spreading like wildfire, he decided on succumbing to his foes by giving them what they wanted. Jae Sun dropped out of training, walked away from the company, and pulled himself out of an opportunity of a lifetime to settle for a meager little company who took him in without hesitation. It seemed worth it at first, a fairly logical thing to do because if he ever took his chances on being the arrogant b*****d that he sometimes presented himself to be, he’d most likely sully his entire existence at a drop of a hat.

So there he was.

Through his travels of making it on his own two feet and fighting his way through the carnage that was the entertainment business, eighteen-year-old Jae Sun worked his way back up again in as little as three months time since he was first admitted. He made good friend, had quite an entourage who enjoyed his outgoing personality, and even went as far in warming up to choreographers, dancers, and vocal trainers alike. All in all, Jae Sun, the boy whose family had abandoned him, considered his close friends as a rendition of a family who always had his back. It was enjoyable to say the least, a blessing one would call it, considering all that he had done in the past, especially to the one he couldn’t get his mind off of. It was like he couldn’t concentrate sometimes when that certain someone flooded his thoughts, but it wasn’t as if it took too long for distractions to snap him out of his reverie. “Yo, dude are you listening to me?” Kyung Han Sol, one of the first people to ever approach him when he first started out in the company, threw him a questioning look before appointing his attention back to the path in front of him. “Mwo? -what?-”

“You have been so out of it lately. What’s up? That new group getting to ya?” Why question it when Han Sol knew how ticked off he was when the announcement of its last member excluded his name. Being approached by one of the company’s executive and being told he didn’t get in was like brandishing a knife against his chest. He was pissed off! But it wasn’t like he experienced the rejection alone. There was 4 other guys in line for the position and one of them also included the hyperactive Bae Lee Jun, who was also known as Jun for short. “I was so banking on that spot. I wanted it sooooo~ badly. Like if a scale of ‘desperation’ existed, I’d blow right through the roof. Like s**t man, I wanted it.” And by the sound of Jun’s voice alone, it triggered a reply from the ever explosive and ever agitated Yoon Kyu bin, also notable referred to as Kyu. “God, stop your bitchin’. It’s not like they ******** promised you the spot. So can you shut the ******** up before I get a migraine.” Jun hissed in response, pouting a bit by the unwanted remark before sighing when a hand belonging to none other than the ‘peacekeeper’, Dae Hyun ki rested on his shoulder. “C’mon guys. The best man won and we shouldn’t hold a grudge against that. We should be happy we at least have gigs to pay the bills. I mean, if you think about it, things could’ve been worst.” Such wisdom he had and yet, Jae Sun couldn’t think about one thing that could trump the s**t he had gone through since he had turned sixteen.

After a long moment of silence, Jun opened his mouth to speak once again, seeing that he couldn’t bare the silence between them as they walked down the streets of Seoul with grocery bags in hand. “Anyways, the party should be fun. We get to finally see who took all our spots. Ya know, be all friendly and stuff like that.” Being quite the dreamer to achieve what they’ve thought about since childhood, they rarely had time to, put it simply enough, be normal for once. Their days consisted of every aspect of training that was necessary for an idol to master. From dancing to singing, to even something as easy etiquettes during an interview, the company went above and beyond when it came to providing for their trainees. It was time consuming, which was why they never gotten the chance to see the advertisements for the band. Upon mulling over that fact, Jae Sun sighed as he tilted his head off to the side in a semblance of exasperation. “I’m so not feeling up to partying right now. I rather practice or sing, or something remotely productive rather than boosting the egos of others.” Kyu second that motion with a few curses weaved into his agreement, his eyes narrowing at the very thought of conversing with others. “Who the hell does that manager of theirs’ think he is; ******** god or something. Like ********! Giving us s**t to do like we’re their slaves. This is such bull!” He motioned toward the bags each and every dancer held in both of their hands, its contents filled with food and drinks that would suffice for the small party they were in charge of setting up. It was requested by the company president himself, so it wasn’t like they could easily back down without engraving a target on their foreheads. “It’s not that bad. At least we got to pick the food with the money we received. You know how long it’s been since I had a real meal?” Hyun Ki and Jun chuckled a bit at the realization of it all, but to no avail, Jae sun and the rest of the somber men beside them found no humor in a reality they would’ve much rather lived without.

Soon enough, they got into the designated room they were expected to set up the so called ‘party‘ in. Though, much to their surprise, the boy group had already arrived, which left Han Sol elbowing Jun harsly at his side. “What the hell Jun,” he started in a whisper. “I thought you said we’d have half an hour to set up.” The shorter boy of the five shrugged. “I guess I got the time mixed up. Well, it doesn’t matter. At least we’re here with the food. We bought a lot of good stuff for you guys and since the company couldn’t cough up enough dough, Jae Sun was the man and cooked most of the stuff so we had more for our buck. Y’know what I mean. He‘s like a master cook or something. Like our own personal Umma -mother-.” Such a lively one he was and Jae Sun could only smile with a roll of his eyes that seem to have served as a response to such ego boosting statements. “No, I tried cooking for us. There‘s a difference.”

“Look at him, being all bashful and s**t. Just take the compliment and shut up.”

“Wow, we better prepare ourselves for the world to freeze over with the big words flying across the room. Who knew bashful was in your vocabulary.” Before Kyu could prepare himself with a venomous retort, Hyun Ki stepped between them in order to direct the two who began setting the food in the middle of the room. Jae Sun soon joined them, not really paying attention to the ‘idols’ due to reasons that were childish, but ever presence in the blood that enviously boiled by their presence alone. Ever since he had walked in, he took no effort in distinguishing faces for the time being because as of that moment, he had to set down the Bibimbap, a variety of Doshirak lunch boxes, Mul and Bibim Naengmyeon (Korean cold noodles), Haemul pajun (seafood and green onion pancake), Soon dubu chige (soft tofu soup) and Wan Kalbi (Kalbi meat) he had woken up early to prepare. With his eyes grazing over the assortments of foods in front of him, he couldn’t help but think back in the days and realizing itwas the kinds of foods he had the tendency of surprising Seung Hoon with when they were younger. It was one of those remembrances where Seung Hoon would be the first in tasting all that he had created and, for a second, he was lost in that world of his where they use to call their own. A world where everything was as simple as ever and there was no one that could come between them. A world he cherished. A world he had fought so hard to protect.


A world he missed…


“Yo, Jae.” Yet again, Han Sol hollered for his attention from across the room where everyone stood chatting amongst their selves with greetings and congratulations filtering the air. “Come on bro, what are you doing standing around your food. Just leave it alone. It’ll be fine, so get your a** over here.” Psh, as if he was that much of a spazz to worry about his food like that. It wasn’t his fault memories seem to serve as public enemy number one in the eyes of a man who would rather forget what has already been done. But oh~ no, that can’t happen because apparently, with regret comes the images and faces that will forever remind him of his wrongdoings no matter what he did. Though, Jae Sun smiled despite the melancholy that sank into his system, chuckling a bit with a hand rubbing at the back of his head in embarrassment as he joined the group he had respectful bowed to in that traditional 90 degree manner. “Miahne -sorry- everyone. I was just spacing out over there. But anyways, it’s really nice to meet you all. Much congratz on making it in the group. They don’t show it, but Han Sol and the others are all jealous right now. So don’t let their smiles fool you.” The joke earned him a playful shove from his hyung, Jae Sun’s humor curving the lips of his coworkers as they caught onto the joke.

Soon enough, it was time for shaking hands and memorizing names after each and every person that sported quite the array of colors on their head. They were the standard red, brown and streaks of silver, they’re wardrobe that of the ordinary, but he figured it was because the definition of a party was really a small greet-and-meet to the company. So he was going down the line, nodding, bowing and stationing that charming smile of his until he stopped at the sixth and final member that stood out from the rest. He hesitated for a moment, unable to reach out a hand in greeting due to the confusion of it all that forced him to stare at him longer than necessary. ‘I-It just couldn’t be…’ The light and playful atmosphere slowly dwindled into an ever present aura of uncertainty, Jae Sun’s lips falling into solemnity as he recognized who it was that stood before him. By omitting the blonde hair and envisioning strands of dark locks, he was able to recognize the eyes that must’ve shed countless tears, familiarizing the cheeks that would’ve reddened in the process, and remembering the lips that probably cursed his name. And with all that information spinning wildly through his head, he couldn’t help but muttering the words that he had no right to say. “Seung Hoon?” Why question it? Why even doubt himself when it was obvious the boy in front of him was not only the one he now called his ex-boyfriend, but also the person who took the last spot in the group that was rightfully Jae sun’s for the taking.

Upon realizing that one true fact, Jae Sun snapped himself out of whatever it was that caused everyone to stare in stark confusion. The smile returned to him, but never did he allow himself to shake the other’s hand. He just couldn‘t bring himself to touch him nor even utter a single syllable his way for reasons that needn‘t to be explained. But it wasn‘t like he could ignore him for long. “It’s been a while. Looks like whatever you’ve been doing for all these years paid off. Congratz.” A good-mannered, respectful and considerate young adult was the very definition of the man who stood before the ever determine, and ever persistent Park Seung Hoon. Unlike those blissful years ago where friendship embodied the connection that strung between them, whatever brewed now had seemed stagnate, suffocating, and a bit tense in spite of Jae Sun’s best efforts in alleviating the sensations knotting at his chest. “You two know each other?” Jae Sun shrugged in response to Han Sol’s inquiry. “More or less,” he simply stated with a small tilt of his head, eyes quickly scanning over his fragile silhouette from head to toe. “I mean, we use to be very close. Right, Seung Hoon?” Before the other could open his mouth to speak, Jae Sun decided on bowing for the sake of respect. He didn’t want to look like an a**. After all, Seung Hoon’s position in the group outranked his own, which only meant if trouble would so happen to stir between them, Jae Sun surely wouldn’t stand a chance in keeping the only job he had left. “Annyeong, Seung Hoon-ah. Hope we can all anticipate nothing but the best for both of our futures.” Oh he played it out as well as anyone could ever imagine. In spite of the uncompromising situation that was only fates’ to blame, Jae Sun composed himself with the utmost courtesy and respect etched into every line and every curve of his entire being.

“Oh my god I’m just soooo~ hungry. Can we eat now. Please.” As antsy as ever, Jun led the way to the feast everyone anticipated for, the awe-struck teens marveling over a home cook meal they hadn’t indulged in for what felt like ages. However, Jae Sun hung back for a few seconds, his reluctance to take another step obstructing Seung Hoon’s path. “You just couldn’t stay away from me Seung Hoonii? I‘m that tempting huh?” He scoffed a small laugh before turning on his heels, making sure the malevolency of his smirk sent the message that the love that once burned between them will never, in a million years, spark again.

[Nanari Uchiha]

“Oppa, can we have miracles?”


“It depends. What kind of miracles do you want?”



“I want the one that makes everyone smile.”


It seemed impossible. When faced with such an inquiry that only ever devours you from the inside out, there was no describing the predicament that laid in the hands of one that went by the name of Min Jaesun. He didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to explain himself or how he’d begin to brandish a hope with nothing but the disappointment and despair that flooded the world. Happiness and the smiles that came along with it all but vanished the moment screams filtered the air and the snapping sound of ligaments reverberated the walls. It was something out of a horror movie - something he wasn’t quite ready for when fear clung to his entire being. He wanted to die. He wanted so much to give in as the weeks drew on and on, and on to the point where his thoughts and his ability to function began to shrivel into a nothingness that made him go absolutely insane. His mother, his father, his elder brother and his two younger sisters: where were they? Where was anyone at this point? The last thing he had remembered was living a life of normalcy and then, out of nowhere, he found himself looking over his shoulder every second or so until hands that trembled and eyes that darted every which way made out the sign of an orphanage he had visited quite frequently.

He had no gun, no means of support and absolutely nothing to live for but something change. His world flipped because once he trailed his fingers along a wall soaked in blood, he knew, from there on out, there was something worth living for when he entered the building. Now that was a long time ago. Maybe a week or two, but who was counting? Jaesun had lost all track of time when the outbreak struck the city of Seoul; his birthplace, his life, his home…his everything. “Oppa.” A whisper hit his ear and little fingers grappled at the end of his sleeve, the boy gently tugging to shake the 19 year old from his nightmarish reverie. Min Hakkun pointed down a desolate slab of asphalt littered with the wreckage that hoards upon hoards of animated corpses left behind. “What is it?”

“It’s a car. It looks like it’s not broken like the other ones. We can escape oppa. We can go to paradise.” The 7-year-old, eager in his pursuit to investigate the said car that was a block or two away from the alley where they hid, unconsciously inched out into the clearing until Jaesun possessively yanked him back into the shadows. “Opp-” Jaesun clenched the palm of his hand tightly over the other’s mouth, his entire body already tensing when the familiar sounds of coarse moans and disheveled groans hit his ear. As quietly and as quickly as ever, Jaesun carried Hakkun into the nearest dumpster and followed in right after him, the warmth of the child’s body shakily smothered amongst his chest as Jaesun kept his weapon close at hand, ready and willing to unload on anything that came their way. But it passed. The sounds of zombies came and went like a cold gust of air, leaving the putrid smell of whatever they sat in infiltrating their senses. Not that it really bothered them, considering they hadn’t bathed for weeks and they practically wreaked of something foul, considering what they had to crawl in to hide.

Jaesun illuminated the bin with a flick of a lighter he had found days, a sigh soon coursing through the air. ‘Are they gone?’ Hakkun began communicating through sign language as fingers formed the words he was too afraid to say. ‘I think so.’ The brunette signed back, his facial expression slightly composed for the child’s sake. ‘I want you to stay here. I’m going to check the car and come back for you after I make sure everything is safe, alright? You scream as loud as you can if you need me.’

‘Don’t die, okay.’ Jaesun smiled a reassuring smile before placing a serrated knife into Hakkun’s little hands. ‘Of course. Now stay out of sight.’ He dreaded the part where sacrifices needed to be made and his advances came in the form of a trembling figure that climbed out of the dumpster with caution. He was shaking as always, seemingly unstable and unsure with his footing when he made it out in the open, only to find himself rooted in place when familiarities trailed down the road of obscurities. From what he encountered since the day symptoms of the flu turned into a lethal virus, all was supposed to fall silent unless some kind of sound warned him of an attack that would ensue. However, he was faced with something living, something breathing, someone who formed coherent sentences that posed as no threat, save for the arrow that aimed between his eyes. But it wasn’t as if this was the first time he encountered a living human being other than Hakkun, which is why he stationed himself in place with the butt of the shotgun securely wedged against his shoulder, his trigger finger ready for the kill. “I’ll be damned to die before I either kill you or injure you. Either way, I’ll make sure you don’t leave here unscathed if you decide to shoot me.” But then again, why would the dark haired male ask if he was alive in the first place if the other’s intention was to kill him? Maybe the stranger wanted to steal whatever he could salvage. A shotgun, a backpack filled with food and other necessities for life, a butterfly knife, his prized machete holstered at his hip, a few medicinal herbs and most importantly of all, a FNP 45 Handgun bolstered with a silencer: they were items worth stealing - items that were hard to find. With that, Jaesun just had a hard time trusting people, and it showed by the way eyes trained upon the man before him. Sure he was scared. Of course, he felt like hell just ignited in his throat when speaking became so difficult to bare, but there was no way he’d make himself appear so frail when he had to protect not only himself, but Hakkun as well.

And speaking of the child, it didn’t take long for him to disobey a direct order when Hakkun unexpectedly ran passed him. He stood in the crossfire, smack dab in the middle of the two who failed to lower their weapons even as the child’s arms rose protectively at either side of him, the knife Jaesun had gave him minutes ago securely held in his hand. “You can’t hurt us.” It was more like a stern demand than a plea, what with the glare that furrowed at Hakkun’s brows. Though, they had softened a good fraction when Jaesun came up from behind him, an arm protectively huddling close as if afraid to let him go. “I told you to stay put.” The barrel of his gun failed to falter even as he directed Hakkun behind him, the brunette’s body acting as a shield to ward the child from harm’s way. “But it’s our car. We have to get to paradise. He’s going to take everything from us oppa.” Instead of arguing with the child who stood safely behind him, Jaesun thought it was best raise a hand in a manner that conveyed a surrender he was reluctant to make. But he had to in order to keep them both alive, which was why he placed his gun on the floor. “Take whatever you want. We won’t put up a fight, just take our stuff and look the other way.”

“But-”

“Stop it Hak-”

“It’s the monsters Oppa. They’re coming.” 7 or 8 blocks away: the distance positioned the next onslaught of zombies a distance away amongst the horizon, but, strangely enough, it was the least of his concern when the threat stared down at him with a crossbow in hand.