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Like the title says, don't post.
I'm posting random crap to this.
Don't even read this. (I know you will anyway)
JUST DON'T POST.
I'll probably just delete it anyway, oh and probably report you. c:


Story
After a car crash that killed his family who were devoted Christians years ago, Kei Anaki has been down-on-his-luck who complains that God isn't doing his job right, but is then offered the chance of being God Himself. His task is to answer as many prayers as he can. He is in love with his girlfriend, Mayoko Sato, but is also very attracted to Tomiko Akamatsu who doesn't even notice him. The only limitations are that Kei cannot tell people he is God, and he cannot interfere with free will. The exceptions of those who know he is God are his girlfriend and friends. Kei uses his new-found omnipotent powers for personal gain - he enhances Mayoko's breasts and sex drive and gets revenge on a street gang that assaulted him after he told them to stop picking on a homeless man. However, he is routinely bothered by a cacophony of voices which only he can hear which are revealed to be the prayers. He reads and answers the prayers in forms of e-mails and even at times he ventures off the find the person who sent the prayer to help them, alongside are his girlfriend and friends.

Characters:
(main characters)
Kei Anaki (Anaki Kei) voiced by: Tomiji Yoshikawa
Mayoko Sato (Sato Mayoko) voiced by: Nene Aihara
Amaterasu Maruyama (Maruyama Amaterasu) voiced by: Misako Takeshita
Eiji Kaneko (Kaneko Eiji) voiced by: Shinobu Tansho
Nobu Wakatsuki (Wakatsuki Nobu) voiced by: Aki Usami
(recurring characters)
God (Kami) voiced by: Kata Hiroji
Miwa Kaneko (Kaneko Miwa) voiced by: Mineko Sakamoto
Nobuko Wakatsuki (Wakatsuki Nobuko) voiced by: Kairi Itagaki
Akane Ise (Ise Akane) voiced by: Yuki Deguchi
Tomiko Akamatsu (Akamatsu Tomiko) voiced by: Haniko Anzai
Satoshi Mizutani (Mizutani Satoshi) voiced by: Sawao Yamamura
(other characters that appear when needed)
Izanami Nitta (Nitta Izanami) voiced by: Akuro Handa
Eiko Maruyama (Maruyama Eiko) voiced by: Emi Sasakawa
Asami (God's little helper) voiced by: Momoko Endo
Rokuro Odaka (Odaka Rokuro) voiced by: Yasuo Futabatei
(animals in the show)
Madoka (Kei's pet bird) voiced by: Chika Arakida
Bunya (Mayoko's pet cat) voiced by: Mabuchi Okimoto
(some characters below have small appearances)
Hisako Imagawa (Imagawa Hisako) voiced by: Naho Imoo
Iwane Daishi (Daishi Iwane) voiced by: Kawanari Miyagi
Orai Kinate (Kinate Orai) voiced by: Yasuoka Nemoto
Rosanjin Fujimaki (Fujimaki Rosanjin) voiced by: Masaru Masaoka
Tamaki Furusawa (Furusawa Tamaki) voiced by: Joruri Sugai
Kazuhiro Maruyama (Maruyama Kazuhiro) voiced by: Shusaku Koguchi
Natsumi Maruyama (Maruyama Natsumi, née Numata) voiced by: Harumi Ichiji
Hikaru Anaki (Anaki Hikaru) voiced by: Ryobi Akaike
Eri Anaki (Anaki Eri) voiced by: Sata Terauchi
Masa Anaki (Anaki Masa) voiced by: Atsushi Maede
Rie Anaki (Anaki Rie) voiced by: Ami Yokoyama
Tatsuya Sato (Sato Tatsuya) voiced by: Seiji Shikitei
Arisu Sato (Sato Arisu) voiced by: Kinuyo Horigome
Kazuki Maruyama (Maruyama Kazuki) voiced by: Sumio Ono
Ruki Aihara (Aihara Ruki) voiced by: Toyotomi Masuno
Misa Imamura (Imamura Misa) voiced by: Sui Ebina
Hidetada Inoue (Inoue Hidetada) voiced by: Shigekazu Ozaki
Geoffrey (Amaterasu's butler) voiced by: Mamoru Hotta
Kafu Okazaki (Okazaki Kafu) voiced by: Akihisa Fukumitsu
Daichi Nakazawa (Nakazawa Daichi) voiced by: Kensaku Takewaki
Masayoshi Wakatsuki (Wakatsuki Masayoshi) voiced by: Ukon Saionji
Hana Wakatsuki (Wakatsuki Hana) voiced by: Kuniko Yuasa
Mihoko Wakai (Wakai Mihoko) voiced by: Tsuki Tsujimoto
Hisato Chikamatsu (Chikamatsu Hisato) voiced by: Shotaro Hayashida
Midori Sakanoue (Sakanoue Midori) voiced by: Oki Kameyama
Chizuru (ちづる) voiced by: Sayuri Nogi
(and many many more)

To redownload;
GIMP 2
Microsoft Gif Maker
Audacity
Almighty!! clips and for fun videos


Almighty!! - Kei's Amazing Driving Skills
description: Like a glove.
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Almighty!! - Amaterasu is going to meet men lying down
description: Amaterasu looks at herself in the mirror lying down and realizes how gorgeous she is and that she'll have to meet men lying down. Kei comments on this to get a reaction out of her. biggrin
I don't own Almighty!!
It is copyright Risa Suenami and the people who created the anime.
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The gang and a dirty movie [Almighty!!]
description: Eiji rents a dirty movie and the others find out and react to it.
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Building with Amaterasu for 15 minutes
description: You wish you were that nail.
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Almighty!! | Mayoko and deer
description: Mayoko feeds some innocent little deer... until they rape her.
Oh, and Eiji does the same thing to Kei... wtf.
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Almighty!! - Mayoko's mind and the Twilight Zone
description: The gang somehow end up in Mayoko's mind.
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Almighty!! - Pheasant scene
description: my favorite scene of Almighty!! enjoy. biggrin
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Almighty!! - Fujimaki, slap your face!
description: Awesome.
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Almighty: Why is Mayoko walking with a limp?
description: Anaki confirmed for huge c**k.
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"Almighty!!" Kei wants Mayoko sleep to with him, but she declines
description: oh, mayoko, you ignorant slut!
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Eiji's penetration question
description: so you suck dicks, bobby?
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Nobu's dream about Eiji from Almighty!!
description: Nobu has a dream about Eiji and tells the others.
some boderline gay s**t
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Almighty!! Sexual Tension
description: you and your love for animu tits
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Mayoko is insane.
description: Scene from Almighty!! where Mayoko tells Kei about her insanity.
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Almighty!! - Satoshi likes having Kei around, really
description: This doesn't end well.
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[Almighty!!] Sad Moments - Winter
description: All my favorite sad moments from the anime Almighty!!. The song is Winter by Joshua Radin.
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An Almighty!! Tale
description: It will touch the inner God within you.
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Mayoko has multiple orgasms
description: Kei's godly powers are making her do it
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Get your hands off my woman!
description: Everyone knows Kei's 'woman' was Eiji. Mayoko can't take Eiji from him.
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Almighty!! - Amaterasu's gay cousin, Kazuki
description: Scenes from the episode where Amaterasu's gay cousin comes to visit
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Almighty!! Mayoko scares Kei
description: Mayoko is sick and scares Kei because of her complexion.
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Kei has an orgasm when Mayoko cries
description: razz Well, he doesn't EXACTLY have an orgasm, he just... just watch!
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The Ultimate Kei/Mayoko Compilation (1/5)
description: I know there's A LOT more of these but I mostly got my favorite scenes 8D
Song at the end is Perfect by Hedley.
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Almighty!! - "Kei is hungover" scene
description: mayoko visits kei who is still hungover.
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Almighty!! - Kei And Mayoko Break Up
description: Mayoko catches Kei and Tomiko kissing and runs away. Kei goes after her and she breaks up with him from there. Take that, Kei/Mayoko shippers!
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What do you think of Satoshi?
description: just an amazing scene from an amazing anime. 8D
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Almighty Eiji doesnt know what the word clairvoyant means
description: eiji and his stupidity entertaining us once again
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"Oops, sorry!"
description: Eiji tries to see Mayoko's breasts because of his other failed attempts (which i feature!)
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Almighty!! - Mayoko's work uniform
description: After getting her job as the Cheese Maiden, Mayoko asks the boys for their opinion on it.
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Kei loves tape and hates Fujimaki
description: Kei loves tape and hates Fujimaki
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Almighty!! - Kei answering a prayer
description: My favorite prayer scene from the anime.
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Almighty!! - Madoka, Amaterasu, and Mayoko
description: Amaterasu warns Madoka about her little sister.
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[Almighty] mayoko and amaterasu
description: ungrateful whore
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'Almighty!!' Kei with his dad and brother
description: lawlz ur ded
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Mayoko "So's your face"
description: Im so gay Im so gay Im so gay
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Eiji and Eiko watch Boxing
description: And then Eiji gets butthurt when Eiko insults it.
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Almighty Blow Jobs
description: I wrote this title to attract attention to this video.
spoiler: no actual blow jobs go away
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Almigthy!! erectile dysfunction question by Eiji
description: for a guy that tries to rape women, he sure does ask a lot of gay questions
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My favorite scene with Kei and Nobu
description: cause i just got p-a-a-a-aid so let's get l-a-a-a-aid
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Almighty!! - Tamaki Scenes
description: Scenes from Almighty!! where Mayoko's cousin, Tamaki, appears
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Almighty!! | How much does Akane like Nobu?
description: Nobuko asks how much Akane likes Nobu and she compares it to hard bread and various items.
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Kei Threatening Others From Almighty!!
description: Kei's infamous threats.
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Mayoko's Many Dates
description: What a messed up family. Anyway, this is all the moments of Mayoko being out with different guys because her parents kept setting her up with them. But these were all truly flashbacks when Mayoko related a situation she and the gang were in with a date of hers.
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Almighty!! Random Junk (1-11)
descrption: i got bored one day and thought 'hey, since i'm bored why don't i just match random and funny audio with scenes from almighty!!?" and that's what i did and why it's here now. if this gets popular i might make more so make this get plenty of views all my subscribers!! smile
audio that i added is at the end because i know no one's going to read it in the description.
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Almighty!! Geoffrey is sick
description: Amaterasu's butler is sick.
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Almighty!! - Geoffrey's funniest moment
description: I love Amaterasu's butler's sarcastic attitude so I made a compilation of all his funny moments. (Well ones I thought were funny in my opinion)
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Almighty!! - Amaterasu is doing laundry
description: Amaterasu is doing laundry when the boys come in and Eiji's perverted mind wanders into sentence mixing and hilarity.
EDIT: Enough with the damn YTP jokes. It was funny the first time when sickheroine1 wrote it, ******** fags.
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Almighty!! - Amaterasu misses her midnight kiss
Amaterasu misses her midnight kiss with a double date between Mayoko and a guy her parents set her up with. Amaterasu then has an idea
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Almighty!! - Kei Is In A Bad Mood
description: Kei is in a bad mood because Mayoko won't spread her legs for him anymore.
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Almighty!! Kei fondled Mayoko in her sleep
description: this guy can do anything because he's God
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I know you thought I only wanted her because you had her
description: but now you don't have her, and I still want her (great scene from Almighty!!)
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Almighty!! -- Little kids checking out Mayoko
description: ummm from an episode, i forget lol
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almighty - the time Eiji forgets how to sit down
description: to be honest, i think Eiji is boderline retardeed :]
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Almighty!! - Kei's 'Where I Did It' List
description: From episode 21 "The Way We Met", this is told by both Kei and Mayoko because they were asked how they came to be a couple. If you dont know what they did in there, you shouldnt be watching this anime lololol.
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Almighty!! E34 - The dumbass fairytale
description: Wikipedia says: "Due to the false pregnancy scare, Kei and Mayoko are sent to attend premarital counseling at church, and a lie they tell puts them in an embarrassing situation. After the premarital counseling, Mayoko decides she and Kei need to be celibate until marriage."
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Almighty!! - Lower, Dumbass!
description: Kei is helping Tatsuya fix the drain. One of my favorite scenes, from the episode "Bringing Down The House" (episode 31). I was surprised that Tatsuya didn't kill Kei for saying that to him, knowing how much he wants him to die.
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Almighty!! what Eiko thinks of boxing
description: wow, an 8 year old fictional character is smarter than most people in reality
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Almighty!! families


Kei's family - (all deceased)
Hikaru Anaki (father)
Eri Anaki (mother)
Masa Anaki (brother)
Rie Anaki (sister)

Mayoko's family - (only child)
Tatsuya Sato (father)
Arisu Sato (mother)

Amaterasu's family -
Kazuhiro "Big Daddy" Maruyama (father)
Natsumi Maruyama (mother)
Eiko Maruyama (sister)
Izanami Maruyama (step mom)

Eiji's family - (only child)
Arata Kaneko (father)
Miwa Kaneko (mother)

Nobu's family -
Masayoshi Wakatsuki (father)
Hana Wakatsuki (mother)
Nobuko Wakatsuki (sister)

Miwa's family - (her maiden name is Shirane)
Jun Shirane (father)
Hoshi Shirane (mother)
Fuyuko Shirane (sister)
[Fuyuko is married to Arata's brother, Yukio]

Nobuko's family -
Masayoshi Wakatsuki (father)
Hana Wakatsuki (mother)
Nobu Wakatsuki (brother)

Akane's family -
Shiro Ise (father)
Yomi Ise (mother)
Koji Ise (brother)
Manabu Ise (brother)

Tomiko's family - (only child)
Itsuo Akamatsu (father)
Kameko Akamatsu (mother)

Satoshi's family - (only child)
Norio Mizutani (father)
Takara Mizutani (mother)

Izanami Nitta -
Kaoru Nitta (father)
Fusae Nitta (mother)
Hanae Nitta (sister)

Eiko's family -
Kazuhiro "Big Daddy" Maruyama (father)
Natsumi Maruyama (mother)
Amaterasu Maruyama (sister)
Izanami Maruyama (step mom)

Rokuro's family -
Fumihiko Odaka (father)
Kiyo Odaka (mother)
Yoshihide Odaka (brother)
Ippei Odaka (grandfather)
Saya Odaka (grandmother)
[Grandparents on father's side; living with them]
Almighty!! themes


1. Opening Theme: Sorrow by Ko Brothers 3:21
2. Ending Theme: True Faith by 99-TALE 3:42

Other songs:
3. Bang Bang by K'naan ft. Tomiji Yoshikawa 3:09
4. Shy Boy by Emi Sasakawa 3:39
5. He Said I Said by Nene Aihara 3:40
6. True Faith by Tomiji Yoshikawa (his version within the anime) 5:51
7. Strippa' by Misako Takeshita 4:25
8. Call Me by Tomiji Yoshikawa 3:45
9. Fully Alive by Rui Iwasa 2:44
10. Again by dreem.teem 3:05
11. All Around Me by Kosaku Chiba 3:18
12. Hero by Tommii 3:07
13. Falling Inside The Black by Confession Hour 3:30
14. Unbreakable by SPITFIRE 3:21
16. KEEP ROLLING by Tohaku Yamamura ft. Aki Usami 3:39
17. Coming Undone by 8K 3:19
18. Wish I Stayed by Shinobu Tansho 3:40
19. In The End by Mokichi Masters 3:36
20. Out Of Control by Totoya and Go 2:43
Almighty!! convos (pt. 1)


Amaterasu: [seeing herself in a mirror lying down] Watashi wa yokotawatte iru dansei o mitasu tame ni motte iru tsumoridesu. (I'm going to have to meet men lying down.)
Kei: Watashi wa anata ga omotte imashita. (I thought you did.)
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[Mayoko walks in holding a baby]
Amaterasu: Satō-san, sore wa dono yōna sekaidedesu ka? (Sato-san, what in the world is that?)
Mayoko: Sore wa, Ama-chan no hirameda. (It's a flounder, Ama-chan.)
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Mayoko: [about Amaterasu] Kanojo wa doko e, kanojo wa otoko o mitsukemasu! (Wherever she goes, she finds a man!)
Nobu: Sō baishun-fu ga okonau. (So do hookers.)
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Amaterasu: Yoku, watashi wa azen to shite imasu. Tada bōzen. Azen to wa dono yō ni kijutsu suru yuiitsu no hōhōdesu... Watashi wa azen! (Well, I am stunned. Just stunned. Stunned is the only way to describe how...stunned I am!)
Eiji: Chotto matte, chōdo bun, Maruyama-san. Anata ga kizetsu shite iru koto o oshie shiyou to shite imasu ka? (Just a minute, just a minute, Maruyama-san. Are you trying to tell us that you are stunned?)
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[Amaterasu is asleep at the table. Mayoko wants to practice]
Mayoko: Ama-chan wa, rettsugō (Ama-chan, let's go.)
[Amaterasu murmurs in her sleep]
Mayoko: Rettsugō, Ama-chan ni oide! (Come on, Ama-chan, let's go!)
[Amaterasu murmurs again. Kei enters and speaks in a manly whisper]
Kei: Maruyama-san wa, me o samasu. Watashi no gārufurendo wa, koko ni nin'i no bun ni narimasu. (Maruyama-san, wake up. My girlfriend will be here any minute.)
[Amaterasu shoots up]
Amaterasu: Maishūzu wa doko ni aru?! (WHERE ARE MY SHOES?)
(pt. 2)


Amaterasu: Anata ga imējichenji no tame ni iku toki ni ā Satō-san ga, watashi wa sukoshi teian o suru koto ga dekimasu ka? (Oh Sato-san, can I make a little suggestion when you go for your makeover?)
Mayoko: Tashika ni. Sore wa nanidesu ka? (Sure. What is it?)
Amaterasu: Kiseki o kitai shinaide kudasai. (Don't expect a miracle.)
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Nobu: [quizzing Eiji] Sono riron wa, wakai otoko ga kare no chichi ni fukushū o eru tame ni kare no hahaoya to no shinmitsu ni naru to nobete imasu? (Whose theory states a young man becomes intimate with his mother to get revenge on his father?)
Eiji: Mā, watashi wa sore o itta hito wa shiranaiga, watashi no itoko Kōhaku wa sore o yatta. (Well, I don't know who said it, but my second cousin Kohaku did it.)
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Mayoko: Watashi wa hijō ni kanja no ningenda. Watashi wa ichido hanarete iku tsumetai tame no 2tsu no zentai no shūkan matte ita. Maiban watashi wa watashi no me o tojite itashi, watashi wa jibun jishin ga yoku naru sōzō shitai, to aru asa watashi ga me o samasuto, sore wa kiete ita! (I'm a very patient person. I once waited two whole weeks for a cold to go away. Every night I'd close my eyes and I'd picture myself getting better and better, and one morning I woke up and it was gone!)
[Nobu leans back against the refrigerator with his eyes closed]
Kei: Otoko oi, daijōbu anata wa? (Hey man, you okay?)
Nobu: Watashi wa daijōbuda yo. Watashi wa chōdo Mayoko ga hanarete iku yō ni shiyou to shite iru. (I'm fine. I'm just trying to make Mayoko go away.)
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Kei: Beibu, watashi wa anata no orokana koppu o tori, naze anata ga shitte imasu ka? (Babe, I took your stupid cup and you know why?)
Mayoko: Naze? (Why?)
Kei: Watashi wa o somatsuna kanji to suru tame ni imi sa rete irunode, watashi wa kibun ga yoku narimasu! (Because I feel lousy and being mean to you makes me feel better!)
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God: Desukara, aratana Kamidearu koto ga sukidesu ka? (So do you like being the new God?)
Kei: Jigoku e e! Sore wa kanari tanoshiidesu. (Hell yeah! It's pretty fun.)
God: Amarini mo warui koto wa, mōichido anata no chikara o tsukau koto wa kesshite naidarou. (Too bad you'll never use your powers again.)
Kei: Nani no hanashi o shite iru no? (What are you talking about?)
God: Anata ga shinde iru. (You're dead.)
Kei: Watashi wa shinda nda yo!? (I'm dead!?)
God: Iya, watashi wa kimi ni chokkai o dashite iru yo. (Nah, I'm just messing with you.)
(pt. 3)


Store Worker: Sorera wa hijō ni yoi merondesu. (Those are very nice melons.)
Amaterasu: [thinking he meant her breasts] Naze arigatō. (Why thank you.)
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[The boys discuss the strangeness of psychiatrists]
Nobu: Anata wa kare o mimashita ka? Gōkei furūtsukēki! Wareware wa, renzoku satsujin-han o hanashite iru! (Did you see him? Total fruitcake! We're talking serial murderer!)
Eiji: Yoku, dareka ga satsujin no kokumotsu shiyou to suru to, kare wa seishin-ka-i ga hyōji sa reru hazudesu. (Well, if somebody tries to murder cereal, he should see a psychiatrist.) [laughs]
Kei: [to Eiji] Gogo no nokori no tame ni hanashi o shinaide kudasai. (Don't talk for the rest of the afternoon.)
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[Eiji is watching a dirty movie]
Kei: Otoko ne e. Anata wa nani o mite iru? (Hey man. Whatcha watching?)
Eiji: Watashi shiranai, sorera no kyōki no eiga no hitotsu. (I dunno, one of those crazy movies.)
Kei: De wanaito kyōki no eiga... Karera wa nani o shite iru no ka? (That's not a crazy movi-...what are they doing?)
Eiji: Anata wa karera ga nani o shite iru ka shitte iru. Wareware ga 12datta toki ni subete no watashi-tachi no ryōshin wa sono hanashi o motte ita. (You know what they're doing. All our parents had that talk when we were 12.)
Kei: Eiji wa, watashi wa kore o shinjiru koto ga dekinai! Anata wa poruno o karite? Kitanai eiga!? (Eiji, I can't believe this! You rented a porno? A dirty movie!?)
Eiji: Yogore wa, miru hito no me ni narimasu. Sate, sore wa sukoshi kitanaidesu. (Dirty is in the eye of the beholder. Okay, that's a little dirty.)
Kei: Watashi wa kono sore ijō o miru koto ga dekinai. (I cannot watch any more of this.)
Mayoko: [coming in with Amaterasu and Nobu] Kon'nichiwa. (Hi.)
[Kei is pressing buttons on the remote]
Eiji: Machigatta botan. Sore wa hayaokuridesu. (Wrong button. That's fast forward.)
Mayoko: Ā, watashi no.. Karera wa nani o shite iru no ka? (Oh, my.. what are they doing?)
Amaterasu: Watashi wa karera ga nani o shite iru ka shitte iruga, watashi wa dare mo ga sono sokudo de sore o okonau mita koto ga nai. (I know what they're doing, but I never saw anyone do it at that speed.)
Nobu: Sore wa watashi ankuru Ryōta no usagifāmu o omoidasa seru! (It reminds me of my Uncle Ryota's rabbit farm!)
[Kei presses another button]
Eiji: Sore wa, otoko no gyakudesu. (That's reverse, dude.)
Amaterasu: Watashi wa sono ichi-do dakedeshita. (I did that once.) [the others turn to look at her] Sore wa kare no tanjō-bideshita. (It was his birthday.)
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[Big Daddy announces his engagement to Izanami, and Amaterasu lets out a scream]
Big Daddy: [about Amaterasu] Kanojo ga shiawase ka kanashiidesu? (Is she happy or sad?)
Mayoko: Tashikade wa arimasenga. Watashi wa kanojo no mae ni sono oto o tsukuru kiita koto ga nai. (I'm not sure. I've never heard her make that sound before.)
Kei: Watashi wa katsute kanojo ga sono oto o kiita, to watashi wa anata o hoshō suru, kanojo wa shiawasedatta. (I once heard her make that sound, and I assure you, she was happy.)
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Mayoko: Yamazaki-kun wa, watashi ga saisho ni naritakatta shōnendatta. (Yamasaki-kun was the boy that I wanted to be the first.)
Eiji: Saisho doko ni? (First where?)
Nobu: Kasei, Eiji! Kanojo no saisho no bōifurendo! (On Mars, Eiji! Her first boyfriend!)
Amaterasu: Yoku, sō nani ga okotta no ka? (Well, so what happened?)
Mayoko: Anaki-kun, nani ga okotta noda Anaki-kun. Watashi wa ni ita sōgi de Anaki-kun o mite, kare wa amarini mo hito o shitte ita. Wareware wa kurōzetto ni iki, sōshiki wa tonikaku taikutsudattanode, sore ga haruka ni imi suru koto ga dekireba, to kare wa tazuneta. Shitagatte, kyō wareware ga issho ni iru riyū ni tsunagaru. (Anaki-kun, that's what happened, Anaki-kun. I saw Anaki-kun at the funeral I was at and he knew the person too. He asked if we could go in the closet and that it would mean so much since the funeral was boring anyway. And thus leading to why we are together today.)
Kei: Shijō saikō no memori. (Best memory ever.)
Amaterasu: (disgusted) Sōgi de wa? Dono yō ni shitsurei! (At a funeral? How disrespectful!)
[Kei and Mayoko mock Amaterasu's disgusted attitude]
(pt. 4)


Stationmaster: Kore ga chotto oroka ni kikoeru to omou kamo shirenaiga, wareware wa, jissai ni machi no shīru no migi" wareware no ressha wa shoki no mama ni" purinto. (Y'all may think this sounds kinda silly, but we actually printed "Our trains leave early" right on the town seal.)
Mayoko: Anata wa, machi no shīru o motte iru? Kare wa sorera no chīsai kaku no kyoku o saisei suru koto wa dekimasu ka? (You have a town seal? Can he play a song on those little horns?)
Stationmaster: Saisho ni kare ni namazu o surō suru baai ga nai, shikashi kare wa kare no hana de bōru no baransu o toru koto ga dekimasu! (No, but he can balance a ball on his nose if you throw him a catfish first!)
Nobu: Kore wa Towairaitozōn no yōna monodesu. Dōyuu wake ka watashi-tachi wa Satō-san no kokoro no uchigawa ni owatta densha ni notta. (This is like the Twilight Zone. Somehow we got on a train that ended up inside Sato-san's mind.)
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Mayoko: Hontō no mondai wa, Ama-chan, anatadesu. Anata wa riko-tekidesu. (The REAL problem is you, Ama-chan. You are selfish.)
Amaterasu: Ā, onegai shimasu! Dare mo ga watashi ga nani o ataeru hitoda! (Oh, please! Everybody always says what a giving person I am!)
Kei: Kanojo wa anata ga chokuritsu ichi ni iru toki no hanashida! (She's talking about when you're in an upright position!)
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Kei: Anata wa, Satoshi o dō omoimasu ka? (What do you think of Satoshi?)
Eiji: Watashi wa sukide wa nai kare nitsuite no nani ka ga arimasu. (There's something about him I don't like.)
Kei: Amarini mo watashi. (Me too.)
Eiji: Watashi wa hanashi o suru kare wa muzukashii to. (I find him hard to talk to.)
Kei: Amarini mo watashi. (Me too.)
Eiji: Kare wa, watashi wa orokada to kangaete iru. (He thinks I'm dumb.)
Kei: Amarini mo watashi. (Me too.)
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[in a flashback, talking to Mayoko about Kei and their first date]
Amaterasu: Satō-san, hachimitsu wa, kī wa, otoko wa anata ga kare ni kyōmi ga naida to omou yō ni suru kotodesu! Kare wa yūshoku ni suru tame teikyō suru koto wa, chōdo anata ga amarini mo kantan ni mieru mono. (Sato-san, honey, the key is to make a man think you're not interested in him! Offering to make him dinner just made you look too easy.)
Mayoko: Kudasai, kuroi shitagi to supankōru wa watashi ga yōi ni mieru yō ni dekimasendeshita. (Please, black underwear and pasties couldn't make me look easy.)
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[Mayoko tries to help Kazuki, Amaterasu's cousin, tell her that he is homosexual]
Mayoko: Kanojo no, Kazuki-kun o oshiete kudasai. (Tell her, Kazuki-kun.)
Kazuki: Watashi wa Satō-san, narimasu. (I will, Sato-san.)
Amaterasu: Watashi ni nani o iu? (Tell me what?)
Kazuki: Yoku, watashi wa kōen de Satō-san ni hashitta to... (Well, I ran into Sato-san in the park and...)
Amaterasu: To? (And?)
Kazuki: Soshite watashi-tachi wa nagai kaiwa o shita to.... (And we had a long talk and....)
Amaterasu: To? (And?)
Kazuki: To.... Watashi-tachi wa issho ni kon'ya neta. (And.... we slept together tonight.)
(pt. 5)


Amaterasu: [on the phone with a boy referred to by his last name, Hamamoto] Watashi wa hobo junbi ga dekite iru... Anata wa, dōyuu imidesu ka? Watashi wa junbi no subete no hi o sugoshita! ... Ā, watashi wa chōdo anata no me o kizutsukeru koto ga dekiru! Watashi wa anata watashi wa anata ga, watashi wa anata ga kirai girai-girai, kyūshi! (I'm almost ready to... What do you mean? I spent all day getting ready! ... Oh, I could just scratch your eyes out! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU DROP DEAD!!!) [slams down phone; to Kei and Eiji] Yoku, watashi wa ofuda, appu matte inai... (Well, I'm off, don't wait up...)
Kei: Maruyama, Hamamoto wa kare wa, shinakatta yoba to go hizuke o torikesa? (Maruyama, Hamamoto called and canceled your date, didn't he?)
Amaterasu: [voice quavering] Hai! (Yes!)
Eiji: Dono yō ni shite, otoko no koto o shitte imashita ka? (How did you know that, man?)
Kei: Watashi wa, Eiji senrigandesu. (I'm clairvoyant, Eiji.)
Eiji: Anata wa totemo rakkīda. Watashi wa pūru ni hairu to, watashi wa ishi no yō ni shizumu. (You're so lucky. I get into a pool and I sink like a stone.)
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Eiji: Nē, okāsan. (Hey, mom.)
Miwa: [runs out of the kitchen sobbing]
Kei: Eiji wa, ji sono yō ni zankokuna koto ga dekimasu. (Eiji, sometimes you can be so cruel.)
Nobu: Haiji. (Shame.)
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[Mayoko starts changing her blouse when Eiji suddenly comes in]
Eiji: O~tsu to, gomen! (Oops, sorry!)
Mayoko: [covers self in time] Kaneko-kun! Kaneko-kun, watashi-tachi wa chōdo kyō, kono wadai! (Kaneko-kun! Kaneko-kun, we just talked about this today!)
Eiji: Kuso, Satō-san. Anata ga chōdo watashi ga sorera o mite mimashou nonara, watashi wa teishi surudeshou! (Damn, Sato-san. If you'd just let me see them, I'd stop!)
Mayoko: [grunts] Fain. (Fine.) [flashes Eiji]
Eiji: Karera wa kireida... (They're beautiful...) [collapses]
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Amaterasu: [To Madoka, Kei's pet bird who is with her and Mayoko] Madoka chotto, hanarete watashi no majo no imōto kara go riyō itadakemasu. Kanojo to kanojo no majo no yūjin wa shō dōbutsu o gisei ni suru koto ga shira rete iru. Ā, tabun ano zensoku no rinjin no shōnen. (Hey Madoka, stay away from my witch little sister. Her and her witch friends have been known to sacrifice small animals. Oh, and possibly that one asthmatic neighbor boy.)
Mayoko: Ama-chan wa, sukoshi Yuki-kun ga hanarete idō suru. (Ama-chan, little Yuki-kun moved away.)
Amaterasu: Roku-sai wa hanarete idō suru? Kare no ryōshin wa mada sono ie ni sunde iru! (A six-year-old moved away? His parents still live in that house!)
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Rokuro: E e, sorera wa ikutsu ka no oishii torideshita. Kīchēn no daredesu ka? (Yeah, those were some delicious birds. Keychain anyone?)
Nobu: Iya, watashi wa ii yo. Desukara, tan'ni hoissuru to bō de sorera no tori o kyatchi? Hijō ni inshō-teki. (Nah, I'm good. So you caught those birds with just a whistle and a stick? Very impressive.)
Eiji: E e, anata wa nani o shutoku shinai baai demo, fue ya bō de subete no tanoshimi o motte irunode kari ni wa yoi hōhōda to shitte iru. (Yeah, you know that's a good way to hunt because if you don't get anything, you still have all the fun with a whistle and a stick.)
Kei: Watashi wa kīchēn o toru yo, sukoshi katami toshite Mayoko ni sore o ataeru. (I'll take the keychain; give it to Mayoko as a little memento.)
Rokuro: Watashi wa, Kei no koto nitsuite yoi kanjida. Anata no gārufurendo wa iidesu. (I'd feel good about that, Kei. Your girlfriend is nice.)
Nobu: Un, watashi-tachi wa subete Satō-san ga sukidesu. (Yep, we all like Sato-san.)
Eiji: Un, Satō-san ga sutekina mizusashi o motte imasu. Yoi shigoto, Anaki. (Yeah, Sato-san has nice jugs. Good work, Anaki.)
Kei: [glares at Eiji] Nani? (What?)
Eiji: Nani? (What?)
Kei: Īe, anata wa nani ka o itta. (No, you said something.)
Eiji: Īe watashi wa shimasendeshitashimasen. (No I didn't.) [chuckles] Chōkaku to otoko nani ga okotte iru nodeshou ka? (What's up with your hearing, man?)
Nobu: [laughing] Man, watashi wa ima shizen to ittaidedesu ka? Kiji, Odaka o arigatō. (Man, I am at one with nature right now! Thanks for the pheasant, Odaka.)
Rokuro: E e, utsukushii kuro no kiji. (Yeah, beautiful black pheasants.)
Kei: Kuro kiji... Kiji ga kuro de wa nai, matte. (Black phesants... wait, pheasants aren't black.)
Eiji: Kuro wa utsukushiidesu. (Black is beautiful.) [to Nobu] Nē, watashi wa anata no imōto wa kurodatta nozomu. (Hey, I wish your sister was black.)
Nobu: [to Eiji] Anata wa bakadesu. (You're an idiot.) [to Rokuro] Anata wa otoko, watashi-tachi ni nani o esadesu ka? (What did you feed us, dude?)
Rokuro: Karera wa kijidatta to, karera wa "CAW - CAW!" ikimashita. (They were phesants and they went "caw-caw!" wink
Nobu: Anata wa watashi-tachi ni karasu o ataeta? Anata wa, karasu, ningen o taberu koto ni natte inai! Anata dake no watashi-tachi subete ni ikutsu ka no warui gofū o motarashita! Wareware wa, dare ka no tamashī, ningen o tabeta! (You fed us a crow? You're not supposed to eat a crow, man! You just brought some bad juju on us all! We ate somebody's soul, man!)
Eiji: Ā, iya, watashi wa dare ka no oishii tamashī o tabete iru. (Oh no, I have eaten someone's delicious soul.)
(pt. 6)


[The gang is hanging out in Rokuro's room]
Amaterasu: Naze anata wa subete no Rokurō-kun no heya ni otokodesu ka? (Why are you guys all in Rokuro-kun's room?)
Eiji: Watashi wa jibun jishin ga ichi-nin ni naruto jūbun ni kaitekide wanaidesunode, watashi ga kitanode yoku, Rokurō wa kokodeshita. (Well, Rukuro was here so I came in because I am not comfortable enough with myself to be alone.)
Amaterasu: E e, sore wa keimusho no dokubō no yōna subete haiirodesu. Shūjin-tachi ga fuman o daite iru riyū wa haiirodesu. (Yeah, but it's all gray like a prison cell. Gray is why prisoners are unhappy.)
Rokuro: Hontōni, watashi wa itsumo sore ga jiyū no sōshitsuda to omotta...... To maneka rezaru otoko no ai. (Really, I always thought it was the loss of freedom ...... and the uninvited man love.)
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[After Amaterasu received free cake for showing cleavage and speaking seductively]
Mayoko: Anata wa itsumo anata ga hoshii mono o eru tame ni anata no hiraki o shiyō shite imasu ka? (Do you always use your cleavage to get what you want?)
Amaterasu: Mu ten! (Heavens no!)
[Mayoko stares at her]
Amaterasu: Tokidoki watashi wa watashi no o shiri o tsukaimasu. (Sometimes I use my a**.)
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God: Anaki-kun, shindearu koto wa yōide wa nai. Anata wa amari okonau baai, hitobito wa anata ni izon shi eru koto, soshite anata ga nani mo shinai baai, karera wa kibō o ushinau. Anata wa, karui tatchi o shiyō suru hitsuyō ga arimasu. Kinko yaburi, matawa suri no yōna. (Anaki-kun, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket.)
Kei: Matawa hoken-kin no tame no bā o shita ni moeru otoko! (Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money!)
God: Hai, shite ireba, denki no koto no yō ni narimasu. Anata ga tadashii koto o okonau toki ni, hitobito wa anata ga subete de nani mo shi tenainoni, kanarazu remasen. (Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.)
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Kei: Dare ga shitto to kōfun to fuan ni kanjite imasu ka? (Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried?)
Nobu: Watashi no morumotto ga shinde irai, watashi wa hotondo nande mono o kanjite inai. (I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died.)
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Eiji: Watashi wa korera no otaku ga kirai. Watashi wa karera ga karera wa watashi yori kashikoida to omou yori mo orokada toyuu riyū dake de. (I hate these nerds. Just because I'm dumber than them they think they're smarter than me.)
[Eiji storms off]
Kei: Sore ga imi o nashite iru baai, watashi wa handan dekimasen. (I can't tell if that made sense.)
Mayoko: Mazushii Kaneko-kun o shiru koto, sore wa hotondo shimasendeshita. (Knowing poor Kaneko-kun, it most likely didn't.)
(pt. 7)


Eiji: Shinzō hossa no oba Fuyuko dai wa shimasendeshita? (Didn't Aunt Fuyuko die of a heart attack?)
Miwa: Oba Fuyuko wa kokoro o motte imasendeshita. (Aunt Fuyuko didn't have a heart.)
Eiji: Ankuru Yukio wa dōdesu ka? (What about Uncle Yukio?)
Miwa: Oji Yukio wa hanarete oba Fuyuko kara shutoku shiyou toshite shibō shita. (Uncle Yukio died trying to get away from Aunt Fuyuko.)
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Kei: Yā min'na, sore wa ichi-nin no on'nanoko to koi ni naruga, betsu no miryoku o kanjite iru koto wa kanōdeshou ka? (Hey guys, is it possible to be in love with one girl but feel attracted to another?)
Nobu: Anata wa, dōyuu imidesu ka? (What do you mean?)
Kei: Watashi wa Satō-san o aishite irukeredo, watashi wa betsu no on'nanoko ni hikitsukete iru toyuu wake. (I mean I love Sato-san but I'm attracted to another girl.)
Eiji: Sore wa dare? (Who's that?)
Kei: Satō-san no teki... (An enemy of Sato-san...)
Eiji: Maruyama-san!?
Kei: Karera ga yūjin'nara, anata dōpu! (They're friends, you dope!)
Nobu: Sonogo, dare no hanashi o shite iru no? (Then who are you talking about?)
Kei: Akamatsu-san.
Nobu: Akamatsu-san? Akamatsu Tomiko!?
Kei: Sore wa hitotsuda. (That's the one.)
Nobu: Kanojo wa yatto anata ga sonzai o shitte iruga, sonogo, futatabi, kanojo wa Satō-san-sukide wa nai dore dake shitte iru mawari ni kite iru. (She barely knows you exist but then again, she has been coming around knowing how much she doesn't like Sato-san.)
Kei: Un, kanojo wa saikin watashi ni ni kite iru. Watashi wa sore ga sukidesuga, watashi wa Satō-san ni uwaki shite imasu yō ni kanji, sore wa watashi ga ichiban yaritakunai nodesu. (Yeah, she's been coming on to me lately. I like it but I feel as if I'm cheating on Sato-san and that's the last thing I want to do.)
Eiji: Ā, dare ga ki ni? Dono yōna kanojo ga shitte iruto kanojo o kizutsukeru koto wa arimasen! (Ah, who cares? What she knows won't hurt her!)
Kei: Anata ga shingurunara, naze, anata wa fushigi ni omou. (And you wonder why you're single.)
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Asami: Gomen, Anaki-kun, anata ni sakenda yo. Watashi wa anata ga hontōni futatabi dainashi ni shinai kagiri, watashi wa sore o shinai koto o yakusoku suru. (I'm sorry I yelled at you, Anaki-kun. I promise I won't do it unless you really mess up again.)
Kei: Watashi wa ashita wa sukidesu ka? (Like I will tomorrow?)
Asami: Sore wa hizukedesu. (It's a date.)
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[Asami appears to Earth after watching Kei for a while]
Kei: Koko de ittai nani o shite iru no ka? (What the hell are you doing here?)
Asami: Moshi monogoto o fukukedo shinai yō kokodesu yo! (I'm here so you don't ******** things up!)
Kei: Ā watashi o fuku! (Oh blow me!)
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Mayoko: Watashi wa mō nani mo wakaranai! (I don't know anything anymore!)
Eiji: Watashi no sekai e yōkoso! (Welcome to my world!)
[pt. 8]


[in a flashback]
Amaterasu: Soshite sore wa anata ga akachan wa doko kara kita ka nitsuite shiru hitsuyō no aru subetedesu! (And that's all you need to know about where babies come from!)
Eiko: Shikashi, nani ga tame no mashindesu ka? (But what's the machine for?)
Amaterasu: Furui iru toki, watashi wa anata o oshiete agemashou! (I'll tell you when you're older!)
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God: Watashi wa anata no okāsan no yō ni iku yo! (I'm going as your mom!)
Asami: Soshite watashi wa anata no otōsan no yō ni iku yo! (And I'm going as your dad!)
Kei: Soshite watashi wa chiryō ni massugu tsumoridesu. (And I'm going straight to therapy.)
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Kei: Man, Satō-san wa Akamatsu-san ga jissai ni watashi no hiza ni sunde ita. Dono yō ni kanojo wa shitto de wanaideshou ka? (Man, Sato-san saw Akamatsu-san practically living in my lap. How could she not be jealous?) [sprays whipped cream in his mouth]
Rokuro: [has whipped cream all over his face] Anata ga matomona, shin no yoi, soshite junsuinanode, sore wadesu. (It's because you are decent, good hearted, and pure.)
Nobu: [referring to Eiji] Watashi ga koko de hitsuyō to kangaeru mono Anaki wa, Teitānatto kara ikutsu ka no nyūryokudesu. Desukara, Teitānatto o dō omoimasu ka? (Anaki, what I think we need here is some input from Tater Nuts. So what do you think, Tater Nuts?) [sprays whipped cream in mouth]
Eiji: Kei wa, kore wa... (Kei, this is...) [to Nobu] Hei! Watashi teitānatto o yobidashite teishi! (Hey! Stop calling me Tater Nuts!) [back to Kei] Satō-san ga shitto de wa nai baai otoko, sore wa anata ga meikakuna no furī de wa kihon-teki ni iru koto o imi shimasu. Watashi wa kanojo ga anata ni kan'ningu shite mo daijōbu o ataete iru, imi, kono chīto o o susume! (Dude, if Sato-san is not jealous it means you're basically in the free of clear. I mean, she's giving you the okay to cheat; you gotta cheat!) [starts eating whipped cream out of his hands]
Kei: Fumu, Teitānatto wa ri ni kanatte iru. (Hm, Tater Nuts makes sense.) [smirks]
Eiji: Sore o shūryō shimasu! (Quit it!)
[Eiji throws whipped cream at Kei]
Kei: Watashi wa, imi (I mean,) [catches the whipped cream] Watashi wa naze watashi wa ikenai to omotta baai, watashi wa Akamatsu-san to isshodarou ka? (I could be with Akamatsu-san if I wanted to so why shouldn't I?) [sprays whipped cream in mouth]
Rokuro: [wiping whipped cream off face] Sonogonode, ichibu no dansei wa nani o motte inai toki ni wa, ni-nin no josei o motsu koto ni narimasu! (Because then you would have two women while some men have none!)
Nobu: Anakin no sore o wasurete, anata wa sagi-shi de wa nai ne. Kashikoi hito wa ichido, sono otoko no namae "wa nanji no jiko o shiru" o nobete... Teitānattodeshita! (Forget it, Anaki, you're not a cheater. Wise man once said 'know thy self' and that man's name... was Tater Nuts!) [looks at Eiji]
Eiji: [glares at Nobu while shaking head threateningly] Watashi wa anata-tachi ni shōjiki ni naru tsumoridesu: Watashi wa watashi no ashi o soru ka! Watashi wa sore ga kanji no michi o tada suki! (I'm going to be honest with you guys: I do shave my legs! I just like the way it feels!)
[The other boys throw stuff at Eiji like some of the whipped cream]
Eiji: Ā, zehi go riyō kudasai! (Oh come on!)
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Nobuko: Anata wa watashi ga shitagi o chakuyō shinaide kudasai shitte iru. (You know I don't wear underwear.)
Nobu: Anata ga watashi no imōtoda, oide! (Come on, you're my sister!)
Eiji: [as Nobuko walks away laughing] Kanojo wa chōdo, anata to otoko o mechakucha ni shite iru! Watashi wa sore o iu tame ni kanojo ni itta. (She's just messing with you, man! I told her to say that.)
Nobu: Watashi wa anata ga watashi o eta to omoimasu. (I guess you got me.)
Eiji: E e, tokidoki kanojo wa watashi ga kanojo no tame ni sorera o ofu ni toru koto ga dekimasu! Sorya a mō! (Yeah and sometimes she lets me take them off for her! OH YEAH!)
[Nobu punches Eiji in the arm]
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Kei: Kimitachi wa rakkīdesu. Watashi wa watashi no otōsan wa mada watashi de sakende ita kibō. (You guys are lucky. I wish my dad was still yelling at me.)
Mayoko: Kare wa anata ni nani o suru tame sakebudeshou ka? (What would he yell at you for?)
[Four heads of Kei's deceased father pop up]
Head #1: Massugu tatte iru. (Stand up straight.)
Head #2: Anata wa manukeda. (You're a dumb a**.)
Head #3: Anata wa sono tesuto no sukoa yonde iru no ka? (You call that a test score?)
Head #4: Kabā-jō ni te. (Hands above the covers.)
[The heads disappear]
Kei: Tenkei-tekina chichioya no mono. Chōdo kare ga ki ni shite iru koto o shimeshite imasu. (Typical fatherly stuff. Just to show that he cares.)
(pt. 9)


Kei: Kami, korera no chikara wa anata no kiseki no ikutsu ka no shurui ga arimasu shite iru! Watashi wa karera to watashi no sūpu o waketa! (God, these powers you have are some kind of miracle! I parted my soup with them!)
God: Anata no sūpu o pātingu suru, Anaki kiseki de wa nai, sore wa mahō no torikkudesu. Futatsu no shigoto o sagyō shi, soredemo sakkā no renshū ni kanojo no kodomo o toru jikan o mitsukeru to shite iru shingurumazā ga, sore wa kisekidesu. Kusuri ni shite hai kyōiku ni nai toyuu tīn'eijā wa, sore wa kisekidesu. Hitobito wa watashi ga karera no tame ni subete o yatte mitaiga, dono yōna karera wa kizuite inai kotodesu, karera wa chikara o motte iru. Anata wa kiseki, musuko o mitaidesu ka? Kisekidearu. (Parting your soup is not a miracle, Anaki, it's a magic trick. A single mom who's working two jobs, and still finds time to take her kid to soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager who says no to drugs and yes to an education, that's a miracle. People want Me to do everything for them, but what they don't realize is, they have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle.)
Kei: Chie no kotoba o arigatō. Kokorokara. (Thanks for the words of wisdom. Sincerely.)
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[Meeting God for the first time]
God: "Tebukuro wa, ofu-shindesu." "Shin wa watashi no tori to watashi no shigemi o totte iru." "Shin wa mushimegane-tsuki no heikin kodomodesu." "O kyōdaina naguru hito ga watashi o kyōda!" Kon, watashi wa bōtoku no tame ni amari inai ndakedo, sono saigo no mono wa watashi wa warau mono. ("The gloves are off, God." "God has taken my bird and my bush." "God is a mean kid with a magnifying glass." "Smite me, O mighty smiter!" Now, I'm not much for blaspheming, but that last one made me laugh.)
Kei: Anata wa daredesu ka? (Who are you?)
God: Watashi wa 1tsudesu. Ten to chi, arufa to omega no kurieitā. Anaki wa, watashi wa kamidesu. (I'm the one. Creator of the heavens and earth, Alpha and Omega. Anaki, I'm God.)
Kei: Bingo! Yattsu~ī! Koto wa, saishū-tekina kaitōna no ka? Watashi-tachi no chōsa de wa "Shin", to iwa remasu. Bingu, bingu, bingu, bingu, bingu, bingu, bingu! Mā, sore wa hijō ni, anata ni au tame ni kami ga yokatta yo. Mokushiroku to, gurandokyanion, soshite kōun ni kansha suru. Ā, tokoro de, anata ga suu! (Bingo! Yahtzee! Is that your final answer? Our survey says, 'God'! Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing! Well, it was very nice to meet you, God. Thank you for the Grand Canyon, and good luck with the Apocalypse. Oh, and by the way, you suck!)
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Kei: [trying to pray] Omo wa, kūfuku o yashinau, soshite zen jinrui ni heiwa o motarasu. (Lord, feed the hungry, and bring peace to all mankind.) [to God] Sore wa dōdeshita ka? (How was that?)
God: Sore wa yokatta... Anata ga Misuamerika ni naritai baai. Kanben shite kure yo, anata ga hontōni nani o shitaidesu ka? (That was good... If you wanna be Miss America. C'mon, what do you really want?)
Kei: [starting to break down] Sato-san.
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Amaterasu: Mise... To bakku. Sore wa soredesu. Doko mo. Biggudadi no denwa o torunode, watashi wa anata ni tōtatsu suru koto ga dekimasuga, dare o yobidasu koto wa arimasen. (The store...and back. That's it. Nowhere else. Take Big Daddy's phone, so I can reach you but don't call anyone.)
Eiko: Dan, nē-chan! Kore wa, keitai denwa ya kōdoresu kōshū denwadesu ka. (Dang, nē-chan! Is this a cell phone or a cordless pay phone?)
Amaterasu: (Shut up!)
Eiko: Kono koto wa, nōtopasokon no yō ni narimasu! (This thing looks like a laptop!)
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[After Mayoko lets out a noise in the closet that sounds like an orgasm; people look over at the direction of the closet]
Kei: [peeks out of the closet] Watashi wa jibun no ashi de nani ka o otoshita. (I dropped something on my foot.)
[Kei grabs a rose out of the vase]
Kei: Tsuzukeru. (Continue.) [pulls head back in the closet and closes the door]
(pt. 10)


[Mayoko with a limp walks in with Kei]
Amaterasu: Satō-san! Nani ga okotta no ka? Naze anata wa ashi o hikizuru to aruite iru? (Sato-san! What happened? Why are you walking with a limp?)
Kei: [puts an arm around Mayoko] Watashi wa anata ni hinto o ageru: Watashi wa sore to wa nani ka o shite ita. (I'll give you a hint: I had something to do with it.)
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[After Mayoko declines Kei's offer to sleep with him]
Mayoko: Mōshiwake arimasenga, watashi wa anata no mōshide o kyohi shite iru tsumorida. (Sorry, but I'm going to have to decline your offer.)
Kei: Īe, watashi wa kotowaru. (No, I decline.)
Mayoko: Nani o kotowaru? (Decline what?)
Kei: Watashi wa anata no genshō o kyohi. Ima sugu watashi to issho ni nemuru. (I decline your decline. Now sleep with me.)
[Mayoko kicks Kei in a part of his leg; Kei winces down in pain]
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Eiji: Watashi wa, otoko o sore o shori dekimasu. Watashi wa katsute, kono tane no koto nitsuite no hon o yonde. (I'll handle it, guys. I read a book about this sort of thing once.)
Mayoko: Sore wa hondato yoroshiidesu ka? Anata wa sore ga nani mo nainakatta yoroshiidesu ka? (Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?)
Eiji: ...Sō-sō. (...Oh yeah.)
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[Amaterasu talks about her stay at a hotel]
Amaterasu: Ā, watashi wa toshi ni hoteru ni sa rete inai. Subete ga sō kotonaru to omowa reru. (Oh, I haven't been to a hotel in years. Everything seemed so different.)
Nobu: Hontōni? Anata no mimi no ushiro ashikubi to senaka ni fusetsu shita baai, osoraku, sore wa ikutsu ka no kane o narasudarou ka? (Really? Perhaps if you laid on your back with your ankles behind your ears, that would ring a few bells?)
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[In a flashback where Eiko meets Izanami for the first time after her mother divorced her father]
Izanami: Nan-saidesu ka? (How old are you?)
Eiko: Anata ga baishun-funara shitte iru hodo furui. (Old enough to know you're a whore.)
(pt. 11)


In a flashback where Eiji meets Mayoko]
Eiji: Node, Kei wa mada anata o kantsū suru nodesu ka? (So did Kei penetrate you yet?)
Mayoko: [mouth drop]
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Hiromi Akita: Ima de wa geri no sūpu no ikutsu ka o watashi o atatamete kudasai! (Now go warm me up some of that diarrhea soup!)
Kei: Soreda yo! Watashi wa, anata to obatarian ni sore ga atta! Anata wa tada hisan'na, hiagattada mina wa anata ga nani hodo warui kanji ni shiyou toshite, de tojite kudasai. Naze anata wa sekai ni ōkina onkei o okonai, shinde otoshi tari shinaide kudasai! (That's it! I have had it with you, you old hag! You're just a miserable, dried-up shut-in trying to make everyone else feel as bad as you do! Why don't you do the world a big favor and DROP DEAD?!) [tries to leave. He undos the locks on the door, but has trouble with the last one] E eto, kono saigo no mono wa hiraku koto ga... (Uh, this last one won't open...)
Hiromi: Ā, anata wa, jiguru sore o sukoshi cha. (Oh, you gotta jiggle it a little bit.)
Kei: Kono yōna? (Like this?)
Hiromi: Īe, koko de, watashi wa sore o eru koto. (No, here, let me get it.) [undos the lock]
Kei: Ā, arigatō. To, e eto... Soshite, anata ga shitte iru. Shinde doroppu. (Oh, thanks. And, uh... and, you know. Drop dead.) [leaves]
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Police officer: Naze anata wa sono ko no te o nigitte iru? (Why are you holding that child's hand?)
Eiko: Ā, wareware wa intānetto-jō de atta. (Oh, we met on the Internet.)
Kei: Made shattodaun! (Shut up!)
Eiko: Hai, kare wa kyandi to omoshiroi monogatari no yakusoku de kōen ni watashi o miryō. (Yes, he lured me down to the park with promises of candy and funny stories.)
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Eiji: [While running away with Kei and Nobu] Dono yō ni wareware wa, koko o nukedasu nda? (How are we gonna get out of here?)
Kei: Anata wa mada kaishi jū o eta ka. (You still got the starting gun?)
Eiji: E e? (Yeah?)
Kei: Watashi ni sore o ataeru. (Give it to me.)
[Eiji hands Kei the gun] [Cut to a single green car at a stop light]
Kei: [To the driver of the car, while holding up the gun] Fukukingu kara dete ike! Ima no otoko no fukukingu kara dete ike! (Get out of the ******** car! Get out of the ******** car right now man!) [breaks car window with the gun] Fukukingu kara dete ike! Sore o okonau, sore o okonau, sore o okonau! I'ruru fukukingu kiruru you! Fukukingu no soto seikō o purezento! (Get out of the ******** car! Do it, do it, do it! I'll ******** kill you! Get the ******** out of the ******** car!)
[While Kei is screaming at the driver, Nobu effortlessly removes the driver from the car and all of them get in the car]
[Cut to a highway road; the car the boys just stole is now seen driving back to Tokyo]
Nobu: Watashi-tachi wa chōdo kuruma no jakki o kakeru ka? (Did we just car-jack someone?)
Kei: [while driving] Wareware wa kakunin shite Nobu o shita, wareware wa tashikadeshita. (We sure did Nobu, we sure did.)
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[Flashback: The boys are talking about Mayoko's parents not liking him for being older than her in the Basement]
Kei: Watashi wa kanojo no tame ni furu sugiru yo... Ni kite, watashi wa kanojo ga kanojo o settoappu suru sorera no kami no imaimashii akutō yori mo motto ii mono o atsukau! (I'm too old for her... come on, I treat her a lot better than those god damn jerks they set her up!) [Shakes his head]
Eiji: Watashi wa sono yōna ryōshin o kirai! Karera wa tada, kanojo wa saishū-teki ni "ichi" o mitsuke yorokonde mo yoi n janai ka na? Sukunakutomo, kanojo wa kon koi ni kyōmi o motte imasu! (I hate parents like that! Shouldn't they just be glad she finally found 'the one'? At least she's interested in love now!)
[Kei nods in agreement]
Nobu: Anata wa sore, kyōdaida. Kanojo wa shihai yoku ga tsuyoi hito no ryōshin o motsu tame ni settei ga arenode, shika shi, Mayoko wa, chūsan kaikyū no kazoku karadesu! (You said it, brother. But Mayoko is from a middle class family so she's up there for having control freak parents!)
Kei: Migi! (Right!)
[Mayoko walks in]
Mayoko: Anākī-kun wa, watashi-tachi wa hanashi o suru hitsuyō ga arimasu. (Anaki-kun, we need to talk.)
Eiji: [to Mayoko] Chotto, kare wa anata no tame ni nenrei no gurūpu ni nai baai ga arimasuga, sukunakutomo kare wa anata no ryōshin wa anata o shiyō shite settei, sorera no warui renchū yori mo, yori yoi atsukaimasu! Sore wa, shōjo no ryōshin ga suunode, keii o motsu josei o atsukau Kei no yōna hito mo issho ni naru koto wanai ka kanashii yo! (Hey, he might not be in the age group for you but at least he treats you better than those jerks your parents set you up with! It's sad how people like Kei who treat women with respect can never be with them because the girl's parents suck!)
Kei: Satō-san, watashi-tachi no kankei wa ijōdesu. Watashi no jiko no sonchō wa sore o yōkyū shi, watashi no kokoro o kaeru yō ni iu koto ga dekiru nani mo arimasen. (Sato-san, our relationship is over. My self respect demands it, and there is nothing you can say to make me change my mind.)
Mayoko: Watashi wa karera to hanashi o shite watashi wa anata to todomaru yō ni sorera o kakushin sa seta. Karera wa mada anata o suki to anata wa watashi no tame ni furu sugirudaga, karera wa watashi ga saishū-teki ni dare ka o hakken shita to yorokonde iru to wa omowanai, karera wa seikaku ni sore o ukeirete inai baai demo. (I talked with them and convinced them to let me stay with you. They still don't like you and think you're too old for me but they are glad that I've finally found someone; even if they don't exactly accept it.)
Kei: Shinken ni? Sore wa subarashiidesu! (Seriously? That's awesome!)
Mayoko: [sits next to him] Shikashi, watashi no ryōshin wa mada shihai yoku ga tsuyoi hito no gakungakundesu, to watashi wa karera no beddo no ue ni anata to sore o okonau koto niyotte, sorera ni modotte shutoku shitai. (But my parents still are control freak jerks, and I want to get back at them by doing it with you on their bed.)
Kei: Katei ga aru ka? (Are they home?)
[Mayoko shakes her head]
Kei: Rettsu wa, kono tawagoto o okonau. (Let's do this s**t.) [Kei grabs Mayoko's hand as they leave]
Nobu: Dono yōna tsuisuto. (What a twist.)

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